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  • -The coronavirus is wreaking havoc on the world

  • as there is still no vaccine for it, but lately,

  • scientists have developed antibody tests

  • that can help determine a safer plan to reopen the country.

  • I saw a PSA last night that explains

  • how these antibody tests work. Take a look.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Well, here's to yet another Zoom happy hour.

  • Cheers!

  • -[ Together ] Cheers!

  • -Mm!

  • -I love our little get-togethers.

  • -And I love not having to wear pants for them.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Well, you know what I don't love?

  • -What? -Not understanding everything

  • that's going on with the world today.

  • -Tell me about it.

  • -Like, for example, what's all this I'm hearing on the news

  • about antibodies?

  • -I'm pretty sure an auntie's body is what you get

  • when you turn 50. [ Laughter ]

  • -Not quite.

  • An antibody is simply a protein that your body develops

  • to fight a foreign pathogen, like the coronavirus.

  • -Well, that clears everything up.

  • I'm gonna go take a hot yoga class at a retirement home.

  • -No, Margaret. Don't do that.

  • So, how is an antibody different than a vaccine?

  • -Well, antibodies are created internally to fight a disease,

  • while vaccines are created externally

  • as a preventative treatment.

  • -Oh! My favorite "treat-mint" is a peppermint patty.

  • -Focus, Margaret.

  • So, if I have coronavirus antibodies,

  • does that mean I'm immune? -Not necessarily.

  • We don't know yet if they mean you're immune to coronavirus

  • or if they just provide additional protection.

  • In fact, doctors still don't know if people can get it twice.

  • -Oh, I got it twice last night. [ Laughs ]

  • -Gross.

  • So, what is the antibody test?

  • Do I self-swab?

  • -I self-swabbed twice last night. [ Laughs ]

  • -I hope you're washing your hands, Margaret.

  • -[ Chuckles ]

  • -The antibody test is just a simple blood test that tells you

  • if the coronavirus has been in your system.

  • -Great! So I just have to get a test,

  • and then I'll know if I could be immune.

  • -Not exactly.

  • A recent study showed that 3 out of 14 antibody tests

  • provided unreliable results.

  • -The tests don't even work?

  • -I don't work, and I got a $1,200 check.

  • [ Laughs ] -Send it back, you fool.

  • So, why even have antibody testing

  • if it can only inaccurately tell us who's already had it?

  • -Because once doctors figure out

  • if the antibodies confer immunity,

  • then widespread testing can be used to determine

  • who's least at risk to go back to work.

  • -If I have the antibodies, I could go back to my normal life?

  • -[ Scoffs ] I hope so.

  • I miss being able to brush my teeth. [ Chuckles ]

  • -Absolutely no one said you should stop

  • brushing your teeth, Margaret.

  • So, can we go back to normal if we have antibodies?

  • -Sadly, no. Experts say until they know more,

  • we should continue to socially distance.

  • -My therapist says my husband is socially distant.

  • -That's "emotionally distant."

  • So, does having the antibodies do you any good?

  • -Well, if you have them,

  • you may qualify to help people who have the virus

  • by donating convalescent plasma.

  • -Oh, I saw Convalescent Plasma

  • open for the Grateful Dead in '76!

  • -Margaret, I swear to God.

  • So, should I or shouldn't I get the antibody test?

  • -Only if you think you're recovering from the virus.

  • -Oh, I still haven't recovered from injecting all that Lysol.

  • -What?! Are you insane?

  • Why would you ever do that?

  • -Because I couldn't figure out how to inject the sun.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -We're all screwed.

  • -Mm!

  • -Brought to you by soap --

  • We're literally the only thing that's helping.

-The coronavirus is wreaking havoc on the world

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