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  • - Hi, everyone.

  • Welcome to the Daily Homeroom Livestream

  • Sal here from Khan Academy.

  • For those of you who are wondering what this is,

  • this livestream is something we started

  • as soon as we saw schools starting

  • to get closed around the world because we saw,

  • we can support folks with all the content

  • and all the software that we we put out for free.

  • We started running parent teacher webinars,

  • and we said, look in a time of social distancing,

  • it would be pretty cool to have a place

  • where we can feel connected,

  • or we could talk about interesting topics,

  • some of them relevant to the crisis,

  • some of them may be allowing to get our minds

  • out of the crisis.

  • So that's what this is.

  • And I like to remind everyone, we are not for profit.

  • We can only do this work and everything else we do

  • because of philanthropic donations.

  • So if you're in a position to do so,

  • please think about making a donation

  • I do wanna give a special shout out

  • to several corporate partners who've stepped up

  • in the last few weeks,

  • especially when they saw our costs go up

  • because of the crisis,

  • Bank for America, Google.org, fastly, at&t and Novartis

  • and I also wanna thank the many other philanthropic

  • and corporate partners who allow Khan Academy

  • to do what it does.

  • With that said, we were running at a deficit

  • even before this crisis,

  • and we continue to run into deficit

  • because our costs have gone higher.

  • All that support has really helped.

  • But, we still need more.

  • So if you're in a position to do so,

  • please think about donating so that many many

  • millions of folks around the world can continue

  • to benefit from from this work.

  • With that said, I have a very exciting guest today.

  • We have Adam Brown is joining us from New York.

  • He's Associate Professor of Psychology

  • and director of trauma and global mental health lab

  • at The New School for Social Research.

  • So you can imagine what we might be talking about today.

  • So Adam, great to have you here.

  • - Thank you, Sal.

  • It's so nice to see you and to connect with you today.

  • - Yeah, and just to remind everyone,

  • I think you already get a sense of the topic

  • we're gonna be talking about mental health,

  • we're gonna be talking about resilience.

  • We're gonna be talking about neuroscience.

  • So if you have questions about any of those things

  • now or during our conversation,

  • please put them on the YouTube

  • or the Facebook message boards.

  • We have team members who are looking at those comments

  • and they'll surface them to myself and Adam.

  • But Adam, before we even jump into the questions,

  • I think we have a fun connection.

  • Between us, the famous Nadia that many people know

  • was the cousin that I started tutoring when I was 11

  • when she was 12 years old, I was in my 20s.

  • You have now taken over as her advisor.

  • (laughs)

  • - And have been so fortunate to have come into her world

  • and to be able to work with her

  • over the last couple of years.

  • I don't have to tell you how remarkable Nadia is.

  • But the fact that she,

  • has that connection to all of your work

  • is just really wonderful.

  • I had just hired Nadia as a research assistant when she,

  • she just graduated Sarah Lawrence.

  • And in the commencement address,

  • someone brought up your name,

  • and mentioned that a Sarah graduate

  • had been the first student of Khan Academy.

  • And I think that's Nadia, that's so great.

  • And she's and I'll talk about some of her research today.

  • But yeah, it's been great to be connected to her,

  • your family and now to be able to talk to you today.

  • - But one of the most common questions I get is

  • whatever happened to Nadia and I always call it

  • Nadia's like there's a lot riding on your success now

  • because if you're the first student,

  • (laughs)

  • you're the no, but I think that's a really fun connection.

  • As you mentioned, she is now working with you

  • and thinking about things like,

  • neuroscience and and mental health.

  • So let's, just jump into it.

  • A lot of, when I read your bio, you talk a lot about trauma

  • and post traumatic stress disorder,

  • before we even go into how do we deal

  • with these types of things or what might cause it,

  • what's a definition for these things?

  • We hear a lot that we hear the words thrown out.

  • But what does it mean in your sense?

  • - Yeah, that's a really timely question.

  • A lot of people have been asking me what is COVID-19?

  • Is this traumatic?

  • Is this just stressful?

  • It's hard to know, we're actually conducting

  • a survey right now with thousands of people

  • across the world, actually trying to answer that question

  • in terms of how much it disrupts people's lives,

  • how long is this gonna impact people?

  • To what degree is it going to impair people's ability

  • to focus to do their work to be caregivers?

  • And I think one of the things that we're seeing already

  • is no doubt a lot of people are feeling very stressed,

  • feeling overwhelmed.

  • But at the same time, people are being able

  • to maintain abilities to connect with one another,

  • to engage in their schoolwork,

  • to care give for family members into friends.

  • And in terms of definitions, one thing to think about,

  • different kinds of symptoms that we see different types

  • of changes in thinking and behavior and emotions

  • that somehow reflect the kinds of

  • adverse experiences people have.

  • And so, when we think about stress,

  • we tend to think about increases

  • in arousal people's fight or flight responses kicking in.

  • And when we think about trauma, we tend to think about

  • more long term lasting, negative changes,

  • people having memories that are really upsetting to them,

  • behaviors where people might not wanna think about,

  • talk about or revisit places that were really difficult

  • for them, and then maybe feeling really jumpy,

  • startled and easily agitated by reminders of that thing

  • that made them upset.

  • And one of the things to keep in mind is

  • we're in this really strange moment where it's,

  • COVID-19 continues to unfold.

  • So the whole notion of posts traumatic stress

  • is based on this idea of an event is over.

  • And then we kind of see how people adapt and respond to it.

  • And one of the, I think, uniquely interesting

  • and challenging things is that we need to find ways

  • to support each other throughout

  • the different phases of this.

  • And some of these phases, I think are gonna be stressful

  • in ways that other phases will feel challenging

  • in other ways.

  • And so yeah, I would argue that in many ways,

  • this is a sort of collective trauma,

  • it's gonna be harder for some people

  • than others no doubt.

  • But I think we'll also see a lot of people emerge

  • quite strong and resilient from it,

  • especially if we put into place certain support systems

  • and practices throughout this time.

  • - That's actually a fascinating definition.

  • Because I think in kind of I had always had

  • a colloquial sense of these words,

  • but I think that stress is something that physiologically

  • you feel it, you can even observe it

  • but it's as a short term phenomenon,

  • a year later you might not be able to detect either

  • in yourself or in someone else that they went through

  • that stress with trauma,

  • there'll be some manifestations of it.

  • - And what I like to tell people is that I mean,

  • the goal of life in general and the expectations is that

  • not to never feel stressed.

  • One of the most ancient hardwired things

  • and probably most universal thing we share in just about

  • every species is this fight flight or freeze response

  • that when we perceive threat or danger,

  • our body almost unconsciously prepares itself

  • to either runaway to attack or to camouflage itself.

  • And we share this mechanism, this is really evolved

  • to keep us safe for a long, long time.

  • The key is not to feel stressed.

  • What I love to see teachers and students and parents

  • and other community members doing is

  • thinking about ways we can support each other

  • to come down from that stress.

  • This is gonna be a moment where we hear

  • something on the news,

  • you'd have a conversation with someone

  • that ramps up that stress level, that's normal,

  • that's natural and it tends to be temporary.

  • But then, we need to have other practices in place

  • to help us come down from from that response.

  • And part of what Nadia actually has been working with me on

  • is actually to target certain parts of the brain

  • that kind of do that, there are inhibitory neurons

  • without getting too scientific too quickly,

  • that actually signal down to our fear centers of the brain

  • to say, you're right, that was pretty stressful.

  • That was really a fear provoking response.

  • Let's calm down from that now,

  • that's not an immediate threat that we need to deal with.

  • So that is one way that I like to think about

  • the difference between stress and fear,

  • and maybe something more long lasting, like trauma.

  • - And so what can you do to, what you just described

  • to fascinating that there are these inhibitory neurons,

  • how do you get them to inhibit the stress response?

  • And I guess a corollary question is how do you know

  • whether what's going on inside of you is,

  • a healthy stress that we all feel versus something

  • that's getting worse than that?

  • - That's really good.

  • I think to the second part your question,

  • to me would like to think about duration and intensity.

  • So all of us, I mean, everyone listening in today,

  • I mean, if you're anything like me, first of all,

  • you're going through a roller coaster of emotions

  • every single day right now, there's so many unknowns.

  • There's so much that's unpredictable.

  • And at some point in the day, you have that feeling of fear

  • or worry about what's happening in the world.

  • I think what we all wanna be paying attention to

  • is the frequency in which we experience

  • those kinds of emotions and the intensity,

  • how much are they disrupting our ability to concentrate

  • to get tasks done, to be a caregiver,

  • to take on the different roles that we assume,

  • if we start to notice that they're happening more often,

  • and that we're really unable to do the work

  • and play those roles in our lives that we need to,

  • that's when we might wanna start thinking about

  • where do we get additional support?

  • How do we get additional help right now

  • to take care of ourselves and others?

  • How do we engage those parts of our brain

  • to send those inhibitory neurons,

  • I think the nice thing is there's lots of ways to do it.

  • There's no one way.

  • But one of the things that we're learning

  • is that there's parts of our brain,

  • especially something called

  • the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the DLPFC,

  • if I could have a favorite part of the brain it's probably--

  • that's up there.

  • Because what we've found that it does is that

  • when we're looking at something really scary,

  • and we reinterpret that as something less threatening,

  • less dangerous, something we can contextualize and adapt to,

  • that seems to be the part of the brain that we recruit

  • and engage in it has those neurons that kind of

  • sent back down to parts of the brain called the amygdala.

  • There's a lot of ways to engage it.

  • We found a lot of good evidence that things like

  • mindfulness based practices are really good.

  • We also find that when people are engaged in things

  • that they're committed to that they're really focused on,

  • where they're really not thinking about the past

  • or the future, but they're really just involved

  • in that work.

  • We seem to really be able to tap into the prefrontal cortex

  • in really important ways.

  • And specifically the ways we've done this with Nadia

  • to bring her back, into this.

  • She'd done some really interesting studies

  • where we have people recalling memories.

  • Where they think about times they overcome challenges

  • and adversity, and then apply those lessons learned

  • to the current moment.

  • Now of course, COVID is unlike anything

  • we've ever experienced, but we've found that

  • when people recall memories of mastery,

  • and overcoming adversity, it's subsequently seems

  • to help people engage that part of the brain

  • when they're confronted with new challenges.

  • So that work is ongoing, but it seems like an exciting way

  • that we can deliberately target

  • that part of the brain right now.

  • - And what would you say is the common thread here?

  • I guess, maybe first, it might be useful for folks to just,

  • you mentioned mindfulness, that's a word that people

  • might have heard before.

  • What does that mean to y'all?

  • And I guess what aspect of that does mindfulness meditations

  • or whatever you think is doing the trick here?

  • - There's so many different ways to engage in mindfulness.

  • And for those who are less familiar with the concept.

  • We know that from various practices,

  • whether it's meditation, whether it's something called

  • progressive muscle relaxation techniques,

  • where you just kind of slowly tense up different muscles

  • and relax them.

  • Whether it's things like yoga,

  • whether it's even taking a long walk, slowly,

  • any practice in which you are deliberately engaging

  • in slow diaphragmatic breathing, belly breathing,

  • where you're really not thinking about the past,

  • you're not worrying about the future.

  • And importantly, you're not judging yourself

  • for how you're feeling.

  • You're just allowing yourself to recognize

  • whatever's going on in your mind, whatever is going on

  • in your body, and just allowing that to be

  • and kind of allowing that to pass.

  • What we've seen almost across the board is that people

  • who spend even as little as 15 minutes a day

  • engaging in these different kinds of practices

  • show quite a bit of reduction,

  • not only in terms of our perceived levels of stress,

  • but also have some really great

  • neurological benefits as well.

  • And mindfulness won't cure everything,

  • but in a moment where a lot of things

  • feel really unpredictable, and we might be pretty hard

  • on ourselves as students, as teachers, as family members,

  • this is certainly a practice I've been recommending

  • to people as we need to be very self-compassionate,

  • and kind of focused on the moments where the big picture

  • is so full of different variables.

  • - Just you describing that I started breathing

  • a little bit deeper, I started tensing

  • and relaxing some muscles and I started thinking about

  • the present and not caring.

  • (laughs)

  • - I want (mumbles) so that one's on me.

  • (laughs)

  • - Sounds, sounds good.

  • Yeah, there's something you touched on.

  • And there's a question here from Facebook,

  • which which is interesting.

  • Arsalan Ansari asks,

  • "Can stress be beneficial sometimes because you did mention

  • "that there might be aspects of this

  • "that make us more resilient?"

  • - Yes, in a couple of different ways,

  • and if we think about stress as a motivator,

  • there's certain kinds of stress that's particularly helpful.

  • What we wanna think about in terms of stressful experiences

  • are things that we find intellectually engaging.

  • So I think, thinking about the classroom,

  • what kinds of activities give our students

  • a sense of purpose, meaning and direction,

  • at the appropriate level.

  • So things that are challenging, but not boring

  • and not overwhelming, in which they feel like there are,

  • either teachers, parents, others who can scaffold

  • that experience for them.

  • But that really directs them towards inactivity

  • and towards problem solving.

  • That kind of stress is really good stress.

  • And the really cool thing about it,

  • is that we actually see neural benefits associated with it.

  • For example, we know that mildly stressful challenges

  • for young kids in the earliest stages of development

  • are critical for brain growth.

  • And similarly across the the lifespan,

  • when we look at older adults who take on new challenges

  • that are somewhat uncomfortable,

  • but they have to really stick with it,

  • like learning a new language,

  • maybe picking up an instrument, it's pretty difficult

  • at first, it can be a little stressful.

  • But that commitment to learning that new task actually

  • can support brain health in a lot of really important ways.

  • So the idea and I should also say,

  • there was a great study done by Dan Gilbert at Harvard

  • a number of years ago, where he would text people and say,

  • "What are you doing right now, and how happy are you?"

  • And frankly, when people weren't doing anything,

  • they weren't very happy.

  • When we're just mind wandering,

  • and we're not really paying attention to things.

  • We're not so happy.

  • But when we're engaged, when we're focused,

  • when we're challenged at the right level,

  • it's a little stressful, but it brings more meaning,

  • it brings greater levels of happiness,

  • and I think ultimately does make us more resilient.

  • - That's fascinating.

  • You mentioned for very young children,

  • that these mild stresses are actually essential

  • for brain growth.

  • What are examples of those miles stresses?

  • - I think about, a lot of the work that's gone

  • into social emotional learning with kids

  • where the idea isn't to tell the child exactly what to do

  • but you put them into more open-ended scenarios

  • where the child gets to explore on their own

  • the way they might use materials,

  • the ways that they might problem solve.

  • I'm thinking back now to my kids when they were

  • two and three and having their first classroom experiences,

  • and just watching them negotiate social relationships,

  • even at those very, very young ages.

  • Sometimes that's kind of messy,

  • and it's kind of a little difficult,

  • but through those interactions through them,

  • trying to really discover how to work with materials,

  • I'm sure with your kids as well.

  • You see this really wonderful mastery type thing

  • that happens when kids are challenged

  • and a little bit stressed where they might try

  • the same thing over and over again,

  • until they really get the hang of it,

  • like going down the slide

  • or being on some kind of equipment

  • that's kind of challenging at first.

  • We see kids really playing that out in a lot of scenarios

  • that ultimately, I think, in part why we see

  • that investing in early childhood education is so important,

  • is because kids are really getting to experience

  • the stress that comes along with that.

  • But then being able to resolve it

  • and ultimately overcome it.

  • In that practice that process again and again,

  • is so important for long-term well being

  • in good educational outcomes.

  • - That's very consistent with a lot of what we talked about

  • when we talk about mastery learning and students being

  • in their kind of zone, right at that learning edge

  • slightly out of their comfort zone,

  • but not too far out of it.

  • So it makes a lot of sense.

  • It's very much I think, for anyone who does exercise

  • or trains or weightless, there's a obviously

  • a very strong analogy with what happens with your muscles

  • when you when you stress them.

  • Obviously, you don't try to lift 500 pounds,

  • your arms might fall off, that's not good, that's trauma.

  • (laughs)

  • But if you lo--,

  • you're able to lift five, 10, maybe 20

  • maybe whatever your zone approximately

  • that actually can put some positive stress and you grow.

  • So it sounds like there's a very strong,

  • a lot of parts of our body work that way I guess

  • is one way to think about it.

  • So that we're getting a lot of questions here on well,

  • from YouTube, Wade asks,

  • "What are ways you can recommend to encourage someone

  • "suffering from depression to drop healthful habits

  • "at this time of remoteness?"

  • - That's such a good question.

  • One of the biggest things that I would like to emphasize

  • is that we've come a long way I think with even Sal,

  • even the fact that we have this space right now

  • to talk about mental health I think signals

  • that there's a greater openness to talking about

  • these issues in ways that a few decades ago.

  • We never would have been sharing in this way.

  • So that's already a great sign.

  • And we need to go even further, though,

  • I think to really destigmatize what it means

  • to be a person suffering with mental health issues.

  • One of the things that I would recommend is to really think

  • about talking to people about that mind body connection,

  • that when you We're feeling down when,

  • we're feeling depressed or really sad,

  • it's not only taking a toll on us mentally,

  • but we actually know there's quite a bit of brain science

  • to show that it's taking a toll on our bodies as well,

  • that our immune systems are neurological functioning,

  • all of this in some ways being impacted by depression.

  • And what's really interesting is that when we see

  • people getting help and getting support,

  • not only do we shorten the length of how people,

  • how long people are depressed, but we actually reduce

  • the number of times in their lifetime

  • that they also have more episodes of depression.

  • So I know there's a long standing feeling like depression

  • and mental health is something that's hard to talk about

  • with each other.

  • But to be honest, the sooner we can open up with each other

  • if we're struggling and the sooner we get support for it,

  • the shorter will be the less intense it will be

  • the reduction and impact on our bodies, ultimately see

  • and I think ultimately, those kinds folks

  • won't be showing fewer of those negative behaviors.

  • So we just maybe try to have those conversations

  • around both the physical and mental sometimes

  • that's a really good way in.

  • - And you mentioned these supports, obviously there's the,

  • you can get true support you can go to be able to get,

  • medical help go to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

  • A spectrum of other things, are there other activities

  • that someone could engage in that could help habits?

  • - Yeah, absolutely.

  • So what I like to think about mental health is

  • and if you look at the statistics,

  • almost everyone in the US, for example, at some point,

  • we'll either experience a mental health issue at some point

  • or know someone that does, it's about one in five adults,

  • it's roughly one in six kids.

  • The numbers are pretty staggering.

  • But that doesn't mean that everyone is experiencing

  • very severe mental health issues.

  • And there will be times when people do need

  • that more specialized care,

  • but I think there's a lot that we can do for each other,

  • especially right now to help us weather

  • some of these anxieties and depression that we might feel.

  • I mean, a couple of really basic things that people

  • can be thinking about are not even the mental health things,

  • but our brains crave routine.

  • To the extent that we can be structuring our days

  • in ways that mimic life pre-COVID would be really,

  • really helpful.

  • Making sure that you get enough sleep.

  • I mean, I can't tell you how many studies come out that say,

  • if there's one or two things you can do for yourself

  • around mental health is to get a good sleep habit.

  • Good sleep hygiene, not only reduces mental health issues

  • following trauma, but also helps people bounce back

  • even faster if they've been through some kind of upheaval.

  • Social support is probably one of the biggest I mean,

  • there's a lot of really interesting genetic studies,

  • for example, showing that people might be more

  • or less sensitive to different kinds of stressors.

  • But if they have good support systems,

  • not thousands of you know followers,

  • but even to people that they can reach out to to say,

  • hey, can Can I get some help with this right now?

  • Can we talk a little bit,

  • we see dramatic buffering of stressors in people's lives

  • if they've got a few people.

  • That's especially true with kids,

  • there's a long history of research to show that

  • children growing up in really difficult circumstances

  • if they have one adult, one caregiver in their life

  • that they can go to, they'll they tend to do significantly

  • better over time.

  • And then it was in the last thing is just having something

  • in your life that brings you a lot of joy,

  • a lot of meaning that you can really stay committed to

  • throughout whatever else is going on in your life.

  • So those are some of the common elements that we see

  • that can really support people even in addition to

  • or separate from therapy.

  • - That's super helpful.

  • I think people hear a lot about sleep

  • but I think what you just said super,

  • underlines it even more like don't think of it

  • as something that isn't nice to have,

  • it is a must have it and and having even that one person,

  • ideally more that you can just open up and support you.

  • That's very tangible, and I think doable

  • for hopefully a lot folks.

  • From YouTube Ng is asking,

  • "What do you recommend to help kids who are a bit negative

  • "in outlook especially when faced with a challenge

  • "even slightly out of their comfort zone?"

  • - That's a really great question.

  • And sometimes those kinds of thought processes

  • are a little bit hard to shift.

  • But they're I would get back to that idea

  • of mastery and experience.

  • And sometimes just having a conversation with an adult

  • or a child, you're not really going to convince them

  • that working on a task or taking something on

  • is gonna be good for them or fun or meaningful,

  • I think it has to come through experience

  • and thinking creatively about what kinds of activities

  • you can give them, even if they're skeptical

  • to try in through that process.

  • Come out of that with a feeling of accomplishment.

  • One thing that I want to emphasize there is

  • it's not only the experience of doing

  • but it's also the feedback that kids

  • and adults get after the experience.

  • And what I mean by that is we have seen

  • in several studies now, that when you reflect back

  • to someone, I noticed that you did that well

  • I saw that you stepped up in that particular way.

  • I was really impressed that you did that,

  • we actually find that that kind of social feedback

  • actually makes people more resilient,

  • better emotion regulators after the fact,

  • when they get that kind of social feedback.

  • So for everyone now, interacting with others,

  • whether you're living in close quarters,

  • or you're far away from each other,

  • just to be thinking about the words we use.

  • When we point out to each other, I noticed that,

  • you really handled that well,

  • I saw the way that you were taking that on,

  • that actually instills a sense of positivity

  • and resilience in others.

  • And so that might be another way to really help

  • with that negative outlook.

  • I think that combination of doing and social feedbacks

  • really critical.

  • - Now I take that feedback to heart I even think about

  • even in work, sometimes I get very task oriented

  • and I'll talk to a team members like, hey,

  • we're doing this by this afternoon, right?

  • What is and I think i need to take a step back

  • especially now but frankly all the ways and make sure

  • I'm appreciating the things that I am appreciating,

  • but I'm vocalizing it.

  • And something you just mentioned,

  • it even reminds me of some of my interactions

  • I've been having with my 11 year old lately

  • where it's actually the roles have been reversed.

  • We've been playing a lot of chess

  • and he's getting quite good.

  • (laughs)

  • Some of my fatherly ego is being and so sometimes when,

  • when he has an unusually good movie, I'm like, okay,

  • he is a piece advantage.

  • I feel like quitting and sometimes I just like,

  • okay, you got this game.

  • And then I've seen that he never quits.

  • He literally even if I have an advantage,

  • he will keep playing.

  • And I've said, okay, you've inspired me,

  • you've taught me because sometimes he actually comes back

  • and he's actually teaching me that but hopefully

  • by me praising his resilience is great,

  • that he's building that skill outside of the chessboard.

  • So it gets related to that Mohammed Ibrahim from Facebook

  • is asking, "how can we make students deal better

  • "with mistakes, when to tolerate them,

  • "how they benefit the best for making mistakes

  • "instead of losing their confidence?"

  • That's a good question.

  • We hear about growth mindset, mistakes and failures

  • but when you grow, but as a parent sometimes,

  • you knew that when they're gonna pour that milk

  • is gonna end up with a disaster.

  • (laughs)

  • - So I'd like to offer a slightly different

  • interpretation of that, or maybe suggestion

  • that maybe others wouldn't.

  • I would say, look to your parents, your teachers,

  • other relatives that might be in your life.

  • That kind of flexibility.

  • Coming back from mistakes is something that

  • we've all gone through.

  • And one of the things I don't think we do enough,

  • as much as we spend time with each other,

  • is to really share in those kinds of stories

  • and one of the things that I've personally found

  • to be unbelievably helpful, try to do this a little bit

  • with my kids certainly do with my students also,

  • is to actually ask them to go back into find stories

  • of our elders of our family members of our teachers

  • are role models We connect with,

  • and to find out from them, when they went through something

  • that was really hard, and maybe they made a mistake,

  • and they had to bounce back from,

  • to kind of think about that perfectionism

  • that a lot of us carry around.

  • How did other people manage those challenges?

  • And what we actually see for some research studies is,

  • the more we know those stories,

  • the more we're able to connect with the mistakes

  • and the successes of people in our lives,

  • the more we can kind of say to ourselves,

  • I'm connected to that person, I can't believe

  • they went through that I can't believe they overcame it.

  • That kind of helps to contextualize what I'm going through,

  • and kind of understand it and frame it

  • a little bit different.

  • There's the power of those intergenerational stories

  • are unbelievably helpful, I think,

  • in dealing with those kinds of mistakes that all of us

  • will experience at some time.

  • - Super profit advice.

  • And some of the hopefully the benefit of this livestream

  • we've had, some folks who are titans of industry

  • and it looks like they've just did

  • everything right in their life, but to have here

  • you ask them questions about times that they were really,

  • had made massive failures,

  • and a lot of us would have been really stressed

  • or even depressed in those circumstances.

  • Actually, I'll turn that on you, Adam,

  • you have anything to share, moments in your life

  • where you're just like?

  • - Well, I mean, two things in particular,

  • one, I tell my students in my lab,

  • and in my research methods class, every semester,

  • I hope your studies fail.

  • I want everyone to experience what it's like

  • to design a study and it for not to work out.

  • Because they think from those failures emerges,

  • often more creative ideas,

  • that we shouldn't be always looking to just succeed,

  • but it's really about learning from the process.

  • And so, to me that's app failure is just as important

  • as success so much of the time.

  • I think about my own career to my career

  • to being a psychologist was so non-linear.

  • I thought I'm definitely gonna do

  • something totally different as a career

  • and was so sure of it, and I was totally wrong.

  • And that you ultimately led me to something I think

  • I love even more.

  • But we have to go out with all of our energy

  • and our commitment, we have to take

  • those intellectual risks.

  • We have to take them with others, as communities in order

  • to ultimately discover the things that bring us

  • the greatest meaning and joy.

  • We won't discover it unless we take those chances.

  • We have to be, really not only okay

  • with making those stakes, but I think be prepared for them.

  • I see them as critical to this entire process.

  • - Super powerful actually had a conversation

  • with a close friend a couple of days ago,

  • and he was telling me he's a professional investor.

  • And he was saying that he had one of his first investments

  • few years ago, just completely wipe out, complete failure.

  • It was a disaster and a lot of levels

  • and a potential investor in his fund, he met that day

  • and he was so distraught, even though you

  • wouldn't normally tell an investor about this disaster

  • that happened.

  • He just opened up and how reflective

  • and that that when the investor heard it,

  • he's like now I'm ready to invest in you,

  • because I see how you deal with failure,

  • I see that you learn from your failure,

  • I see that you're reflective of it.

  • And so now I think you're ready to manage more.

  • So I think other people also see that in you when they see

  • how you can, when you cope and learn from and grow from

  • that failure.

  • Not to get too, I guess, dark here,

  • because this has been super valuable.

  • And we're running short on time.

  • But there's a lot of questions here.

  • And this one is pretty relevant from YouTube.

  • Susanna Garcia deMangas asks,

  • "what is the appropriate way to acknowledge the people

  • "who have passed due to COVID?

  • "Or maybe or even sick?

  • "I feel like the deaths are minimized due to statistics."

  • - Wow, I could not agree more with that person.

  • So thank you for bringing that question.

  • I mean, one of the things that I'm hoping for

  • and I've been kind of waiting for

  • are more regular moments of mourning

  • and acknowledgement of all of the people that have been lost

  • is something I think a lot of us are doing very privately

  • throughout our days, but we really haven't had

  • a sort of national or even state or city level, moments.

  • There's been a lot of celebration and recognition

  • of the heroism and bravery, which is really wonderful

  • to see, especially in New York.

  • But I agree, I think we need to find ways to acknowledge

  • and mark all of the loss and suffering

  • that's been taking place.

  • And just I don't have a great answer,

  • but just to say to that person that you're concern is,

  • among the top three or four things that I've heard

  • from people at the WHO, for example, around mental health

  • is, how are we gonna help people engage in rituals

  • and traditions that are almost always social in nature,

  • that are so hard to do right now?

  • So just to say that I hear you,

  • this is a really big question.

  • And even the experts don't have great answers.

  • But for all those on the call or watch this,

  • just to say, we kind of need all of you to really think

  • about new ways that we can come together

  • and support one another in these really, really dark times.

  • I don't think the answers are gonna come from psychologists

  • and psychiatrists alone, I think it's really gonna take

  • a lot of thoughtful, smart and especially young people

  • to come up with new solutions to how do we grieve?

  • How do we mourn all of this loss and trauma right now.

  • So thank you for bringing that up.

  • - So Adam, we're already over time

  • these conversations go faster than I ever expect.

  • There's so much good here.

  • But this has been really valuable.

  • I think a lot of very tangible things for folks.

  • I mean, number one, sleep.

  • Number two, make sure you have some type of support,

  • find people be open with them.

  • And and I guess a corollary to that is

  • make yourself open to other people

  • be there for other people who might be

  • whatever they're going through, who knows,

  • you won't even know unless you make yourself open.

  • And then some of these techniques you mentioned,

  • whether it's mindfulness and other things,

  • they could be a preventative just So to give you

  • a little bit more resilient or especially if you start

  • to feel like your behavior your thinking is getting

  • a little awry, seek help but also try to build

  • some more of these habits is what I took away.

  • Anything I missed?

  • - Just to be really self-compassionate

  • and forgiving right now.

  • I mean, these are really unknown times

  • that are unlike anything else we've ever experienced.

  • And I know so many of us whether we're students or teachers,

  • or parents, we walk around with these models in our head of,

  • we have to be doing everything just right.

  • And we need to try our hardest.

  • That's, of course, but we also need to recognize

  • that this is a new normal every single day,

  • and we are working and living and caring in ways

  • that we've never could have imagined a few months ago.

  • So please, during these times, please be good to yourself,

  • be kind to yourself and others.

  • A lot of this is gonna be temporary.

  • And a lot of this will be things that we continue

  • to talk about, well into the future.

  • But I do think we need to be extra kind

  • and extra supportive of ourselves right now.

  • - Well, thanks so much, Adam.

  • That was super, super valuable.

  • And thanks for everyone else for joining this session.

  • As you see, there's just a lot of interesting conversation.

  • Thank you everyone for your questions.

  • And thanks for being part of this livestream

  • and we will see everyone tomorrow at the same time.

- Hi, everyone.

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