B1 Intermediate US 22 Folder Collection
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parents are supposed to be the ones you
can depend on during down times and look
to for guidance unfortunately many
parents say emotionally harmful things
that can have a lasting negative
psychological effect this isn't in the
out-of-date phenomenon just ten years
ago the number of children living in
such an environment was approximately
55,000 as noted by the program prevent
child abuse America considering that
young people have nothing to compare
their treatment with they often think
that this toxic behavior is normal or
even expected the alarming conclusion is
that they can't ask for help because
damage sets in if they don't realize
it's needed in this follow-up to our
eight toxic things parents say we
explore some more things to look out for
if you think your parents are toxic ever
hear the phrase don't take it personally
well this time those insults are very
personal and it's from the parents the
first video in this series details a few
of these personal attacks yet there are
so many more types some more of these
hurtful and offensive words include one
you look terrible you know that phrase a
face only a mother could love it means
that parents should be supportive of
your appearance so when a child is image
shamed by them insecurities skyrocket
the open possibilities of what this
statement means explode in the child's
mind and could lead to core body issues
in the future too you're a freak saying
this gives the message that they are not
only ill-fitting to the world in general
but unaccepted lee so it also implies
that there's something wrong with who
they are as a person and they have no
choice but to be negatively abnormal in
some way
three you're still immature if this was
the response you received from a parent
after requesting something or
participating in a discussion with a
parent what's the emotion you read or
felt behind that phrase is it discussed
is it ridicule is it shame this implies
that the child is wrong or off like
they're undeveloped and inferior no one
has the right to shame you for your
likes dislikes or non-harmful actions
there are also many instances of parents
using words of neglect which are another
form of toxic comments such as poor I'm
gonna send you to boarding school how
many times has it been shown in movies
or shows where a parent or step parent
says this answer far too many sadly this
is the case of art imitating life yes
parents do say these things to their
actual children saying that they're
gonna send you away communicates that
they don't love you enough to want you
around and they don't want to guide you
or raise you five once you're 18 I'm
kicking you out reaching the age of
majority which is most common at 18
technically marks the legal beginnings
of adulthood so when a parent says this
it gives rise to feelings of guilt
the almost adult often feels like
they're a burden and that maybe things
would be better for the family if they
left there are also manipulative
comments which are also toxic
manipulation is defined as exerting
shrewd or devious influence especially
for one's own Vantage some examples are
six this is your fault a parent placing
blame on their child and acting
victimized causes the child to feel like
a burden or even a curse this can lead
to them going to great lengths to avoid
being a so-called problem maybe even
enslaving themselves to maintain
vii show me some respect it's certainly
important for people to give respect
where it's due
however there are limits if a parent or
elder are toxic being commanded to
respect such behavior just because
they're older is confusing this also
sends a message that once you get to a
certain age it's okay to behave in a
disreputable or unethical manner because
other people should respect you no
matter what just because you're older
the adult in this case is betting on the
youth unquestioningly being respectful
without need for a reason allowing the
adult full control critical thinking and
questioning can help the child out of
this if they have proper guidance other
toxic comments come in the form of
controlling words such as 8 do what I
say or else this is an outright threat
this dismisses the child's independent
needs and desires leaving them feeling
unworthy of anything other than
following the parents whims this brings
us now to criticism and not the
constructive kind overly critical
statements of our skills or abilities
are common and detrimental statements
like 9 you are terrible at sports one
can substitute the word sports for any
hobby or activity taken up by the child
this makes the child's of conscious
about their skills which can turn to
anxiety the grading performance further
and eventually even replacing the
association of enjoyment of the activity
with tension and fear
which brings us to ten you're the worst
student even though many of us tend to
be aware that there is always someone
better than us it's quite the downer to
hear from our parents the implications
that there's no one worse than us these
types of remarks can feel like a
confirmation of the receivers negative
self thoughts especially when were
younger we tend to trust our parents
above all others so being confirmed by
them as the worst definitely contributes
to low self-esteem and feelings of being
generally undeserving many of these
toxic things parents say are more than
just poisonous hot air
they're also verbal abuse we're in a
pattern of behavior is used to maintain
power and control over another
therefore it's particularly important to
be aware of what qualifies as toxic if
either of your parents ever said
anything like this to you do you know
anyone whose parents frequently speak
this way if you're curious and want to
know more about toxic family dynamics
check out our other videos related to
this subject the links are in the
description below we'll see you in the
next video and as always thanks so much
for watching
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10 Toxic Things Parents Say To Their Kids

22 Folder Collection
jeremy.wang published on May 13, 2020
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