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  • Hi, Bob the Canadian here.

  • Welcome to this English lesson about marriage.

  • I'm here today with Jen the Canadian, my wife,

  • and together, we are going to try and teach you

  • a few English words and phrases

  • that you would use when talking about marriage,

  • and at the same time, we're going to answer some questions

  • that you submitted to us yesterday

  • about us and about our marriage.

  • (chiming music)

  • Well hey, welcome to this English lesson about marriage.

  • I want to thank all of you that sent us questions.

  • We will try to answer as many of them as possible

  • as we go through this lesson,

  • and as I answer each question,

  • and as Jen helps me to answer each question,

  • we will try to teach you a little bit

  • of English along the way.

  • So hey, the first set of questions

  • that Jen and I are going to try and answer

  • are questions about how we met

  • and how long we dated for before we got married.

  • The first question is from xabi riko35

  • and the question is, "How, when, and where did you meet?"

  • Over to you Jen.

  • - Okay, I met Bob when we were both

  • at the same university.

  • He was friends with my sister's boyfriend at the time,

  • so through my sister and that connection, we met, yeah.

  • - Yeah, a few times, here and there.

  • - Yeah. - We met here and there,

  • and then eventually,

  • did you ask me out or did I ask you out?

  • - Well, Bob rode a motorcycle at the time,

  • and I wanted, I was, I asked you for a ride.

  • - That's right, that's how it all started.

  • Question number two from wan c,

  • "Hi Jen, you are a lucky woman,"

  • you are a lucky, (Jen laughs)

  • (laughs) you are a lucky woman,

  • "how did you know he was your type?"

  • So, how did you know I was your type?

  • - Well, I think first I thought you were kinda cute,

  • you (laughs). (Bob laughs)

  • He was cute and he was funny, he made me laugh.

  • He just seemed like a nice guy,

  • so, I thought, "hey, I'm gonna ask him out for a ride."

  • - Yeah, yep, I guess, I think I'm still kinda funny

  • but I try my best. - You still make me laugh.

  • - I do, yeah. - Yeah.

  • - In fact, we've been laughing quite a bit,

  • just trying to get this video started.

  • (both laugh)

  • Question number three, Amanda Yap,

  • "how long were you together

  • "or dating before getting married?"

  • So, I'm actually having trouble remembering this,

  • but I think we dated for about five years?

  • - No. - How long did we date?

  • Four years. - Three.

  • - Three years. (Jen laughs)

  • We dated for about three years,

  • see this is how it goes,

  • when you get older, (laughs) you start to forget things.

  • Deekshansh Pathak, hi Deekshansh, has the next question.

  • "What's the one thing that you like the most

  • "about each other when you first met?

  • "Is it still the same after years of marriage?

  • "If not, what is it now?" (Jen laughs)

  • Do you want me to go first? - Yeah, okay, you go.

  • - That's a good question. - That's a hard question.

  • - It's a good question though,

  • I think. - It's a great question.

  • - Yeah, so, I would say the same things

  • that I liked about Jen then, I still like now.

  • She's very beautiful, (Jen laughs)

  • she's very intelligent.

  • I think those were probably two of the things

  • that I liked the most about her

  • when I first met her

  • and then she's a very funny person.

  • So, she's just fun to be around.

  • So, I would say, she was beautiful and intelligent

  • and then as I got to know her,

  • I found out that she was pretty funny too

  • and those three things are still pretty important right now.

  • What about you, Jen?

  • - Well, I already said what I first liked,

  • you were funny, - Yes.

  • - Bob was just a really nice guy.

  • I just really had a sense

  • that you were just a really nice guy

  • and that you would be very kind to me.

  • We had a lot of fun together,

  • I thought you were funny too

  • and Bob was really hardworking,

  • I like that. - Oh, yeah.

  • - He was very responsible, you were a bit older than me.

  • So, maybe, - Yeah.

  • - I don't know but you still had

  • these very trustworthy qualities

  • that I liked. - Oh.

  • - And I think you still have that.

  • - Yeah. (both laugh)

  • Thank you.

  • So, the next set of questions has to do

  • with when we got married and our marriage in general.

  • First question is from Rafael Guadalupe Ortiz Vasquez,

  • I hope I said your name right.

  • "Is the word fiancé used for both the man

  • "and the woman who are just engaged?"

  • So, I'll answer this one.

  • So, when Jen and I got engaged, I proposed to Jen.

  • So, I asked her to marry me

  • and I gave her an engagement ring, and she said "yes."

  • That's very, that was nice of you.

  • (both laugh) And then after that,

  • you would say that Jen was my fiancée

  • and Jen would also say that I was her fiancé.

  • So, it is the same word for both the man and the woman

  • and you would then say that we were engaged.

  • So, there was a proposal, I gave Jen an engagement ring,

  • she became my fiancée, I became her fiancé

  • and we were then engaged to be married.

  • Oh! - This is my ring.

  • - Oh, that is the ring.

  • You can hold it right up to the camera.

  • It might focus onto it

  • but sometimes doesn't actually see it.

  • - Does that work? - Yeah, I think

  • it's still focused on your face.

  • Oh well. - It doesn't fit (laughs).

  • - Yes. - Anymore.

  • It used to. - It used to.

  • Kenny Fong has the next question,

  • "what things or gifts do guests give the bride

  • "and groom at a wedding?"

  • So, on our wedding day,

  • the day when you get married is called a wedding day.

  • On our wedding day, people gave us many gifts.

  • They gave us things to use in the kitchen,

  • they gave us tools, what else did they give us?

  • - At that time, it was a lot of just house stuff.

  • - Yeah, a lot of,

  • - Tools, like bedsheets, blankets,

  • - A clock. - A lot of kitchen stuff.

  • - A few lamps. - Lamps.

  • - A lot of kitchen stuff, so. - Yeah.

  • - That is a traditional gift

  • for a younger couple getting married.

  • You would give them things that they can use immediately

  • in their apartment or in their house.

  • - But don't you think now it's a lot more gift cards?

  • - Yes. - Money.

  • - I think people do give a lot more gift cards now.

  • So, that the couple can go out and buy what they need later.

  • Next question is from Karla,

  • "do you remember your honeymoon?"

  • Do you remember our honeymoon? - I remember our honeymoon.

  • - Yeah. - It wasn't very long.

  • - No, I was already working.

  • So, I was on a break from school,

  • we got married during a break

  • and then we went to Chicago.

  • We went to the City of Chicago,

  • the weather wasn't great, was it?

  • - No (laughs). - No, it was very foggy.

  • It wasn't actually super cold,

  • it was kind of just miserable would be a good way to,

  • the honeymoon was great,

  • we enjoyed hanging out with each other

  • and going out to restaurants and all that stuff

  • but the city itself was, yeah, kind of just an,

  • I just remember it being, - Chicago is a great place.

  • - It's a great place (laughs) - We just,

  • went at the wrong time

  • and maybe not as prepared as we should have been

  • - Yes. - To really embrace all

  • that Chicago has. - Yeah.

  • We'd like to go back someday. - Yeah.

  • - Next question, Mr. Bauka says,

  • "I'm 30 now and single,

  • "at what age did you and Jen get married?

  • "Also, at what age

  • "in Canada do people normally get married?"

  • We got married in our 20s,

  • so we were both in our 20s when we got married.

  • But the age in Canada

  • when people get married is slowly going up.

  • It's probably late 20s, early 30s now

  • when people normally get married.

  • Next question, Mila Polk,

  • "we usually wear a ring on the right-hand finger

  • "and when divorced we wear the same ring

  • "on the left-hand finger.

  • "Do you have the same tradition?

  • "How long have you been married?

  • "We have been married for 46 years."

  • Oh, congratulations, that is a long time.

  • We wear a ring on the ring finger on our left hand.

  • - This would be, - That's where,

  • - It goes like this, right? - Yes, if it fits.

  • - I just have to get it resized and I,

  • once I started having kids, my,

  • I think my joints expanded

  • and they don't fit

  • and I just haven't gotten it, - Yes.

  • - Redone, but, - Which is okay.

  • Generally farmers don't wear rings.

  • Did you know that? - Yeah, I don't think

  • I would wear this, - Yeah.

  • - While I'm farming anyways. - 'Cause it gets dirty

  • and it might get wrecked, those kinds of things.

  • Let's see here, do you, no we do not have a tradition

  • where you switch the ring if you are separated or divorced.

  • We usually, if someone was to be divorced,

  • they would just go their separate ways.

  • Sharon has the next question, "hello Bob and Jen,

  • "this topic caught my interest immediately

  • "because I'm recently married,

  • "marrying someone who you love is wonderful

  • "but somehow I feel a bit of fear

  • "that I may have lost a part of myself at the same time.

  • "Can you relate to this kind of feeling?

  • "If yes, how do you deal with it?

  • "If not, is there any advice for beginners like me?"

  • That's a deep question, that's a tough one.

  • - I, when we got married, you had a job and I didn't

  • and I think I, I think our hardest years

  • of being married were the first,

  • - Yes. - The first one

  • and there's a couple other in there

  • but and I think I totally relate to what you say

  • that I thought I lost a bit,

  • I left my university, I left my friends,

  • I didn't have a job, I don't know really who,

  • what I was gonna do.

  • Like, I knew I wanted to teach

  • but it was really, I think a difficult time.

  • What helped me was I actually ended up getting a job

  • and then I was just really busy and life got busy.

  • - That was a good answer. - Was that a good answer?

  • - Yeah. - I don't have a lot

  • of advice though. - I think it's good

  • to be honest.

  • Well, my advice would relate to what you said

  • that I think the first year of marriage can be really tough

  • and I think you need to work hard together

  • as a couple to get through it.

  • If there's, I mean, you're learning to live together.

  • We disagreed on who got to use what drawer

  • in the bathroom for our stuff.

  • So, yes, it's always good

  • to just be patient during those first years.

  • - Time. - Yes.

  • - Time gets, with time, right? - Yes.

  • Next question from abdirahman mohamed

  • "My question is in Canada,