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  • Social anxiety is a big problem that I know a lot of people have.

  • And I'll be honest with you guys, it was something that I struggled with a lot in high school as well as my early days of college.

  • See the reason we feel anxious especially in large groups of people we don't know is because of what goes on in our head.

  • The moment you walk into a party, you immediately think: "what are they whispering about, what do people think about me, am I acting like a fool?"

  • And because of these thoughts we start feeling anxious, we feel like everyone is watching us waiting for us to mess up.

  • And this was basically me, every party I went to I was a nervous wreck but they all changed for me, once I started reading a book called What Everybody Is Saying.

  • It's a book written by an ex-FBI agent who teaches you how to read people by looking at their body language.

  • He teaches you things like oh if someone is crossing their arms, they're adopting a defensive position which means they either feel threatened or they're unhappy with the situation.

  • Another one is oh you can tell if someone wants to leave a conversation by the direction their feet are pointed.

  • If her feet are pointed at the door, you know she wants to get out of there as soon as possiblethings like this.

  • And once you learn this stuff once you internalize these concepts, you start noticing them more.

  • You notice how people are standing where their feet are pointed.

  • You can tell who's nervous who's having a good time.

  • You can kind of guess where a person's state of mind is that and what happens next is something very very powerful.

  • Instead of focusing on yourself all the time, your thoughts become focused on the people around you.

  • So the next time you're in a social gathering, it's no longer: "oh what are people thinking about me, oh do I look awkward?"

  • It becomes: "oh that's interesting, it looks like he's not having a good time I wonder why."

  • Or: "oh that's interesting it looks like she is not very interested in him I wonder why."

  • And once your dots become focused about other people, you realize that no one is really thinking about you.

  • Most people are in their own head thinking about themselves.

  • And once you internalize this once you've proven to yourself that this is true, something very special happens.

  • You realize that nobody is watching you or what you do.

  • Once you internalize this concept, your social anxiety can literally disappear overnight.

  • So for those of you who really struggle social anxiety, start learning about body language and start watching other people.

  • I guarantee you it will change the way you think and feel around others.

  • It's no longer going to be "me me me me me," it becomes "you you you."

  • And funny enough, when you start watching out for others, when you start giving a damn about how they feel in a social situation, guess what, they start liking you a whole lot more.

  • Stay tuned guys.

Social anxiety is a big problem that I know a lot of people have.

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A2 US social anxiety anxiety social people pointed body language


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    Annie Huang posted on 2020/06/08
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