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Social anxiety is a big problem that I know a lot of people have.
And I'll be honest with you guys, it was something that I struggled with a lot in high school as well as my early days of college.
See the reason we feel anxious especially in large groups of people we don't know is because of what goes on in our head.
The moment you walk into a party, you immediately think: "what are they whispering about, what do people think about me, am I acting like a fool?"
And because of these thoughts we start feeling anxious, we feel like everyone is watching us waiting for us to mess up.
And this was basically me, every party I went to I was a nervous wreck but they all changed for me, once I started reading a book called What Everybody Is Saying.
It's a book written by an ex-FBI agent who teaches you how to read people by looking at their body language.
He teaches you things like oh if someone is crossing their arms, they're adopting a defensive position which means they either feel threatened or they're unhappy with the situation.
Another one is oh you can tell if someone wants to leave a conversation by the direction their feet are pointed.
If her feet are pointed at the door, you know she wants to get out of there as soon as possible—things like this.
And once you learn this stuff once you internalize these concepts, you start noticing them more.
You notice how people are standing where their feet are pointed.
You can tell who's nervous who's having a good time.
You can kind of guess where a person's state of mind is that and what happens next is something very very powerful.
Instead of focusing on yourself all the time, your thoughts become focused on the people around you.
So the next time you're in a social gathering, it's no longer: "oh what are people thinking about me, oh do I look awkward?"
It becomes: "oh that's interesting, it looks like he's not having a good time I wonder why."
Or: "oh that's interesting it looks like she is not very interested in him I wonder why."
And once your dots become focused about other people, you realize that no one is really thinking about you.
Most people are in their own head thinking about themselves.
And once you internalize this once you've proven to yourself that this is true, something very special happens.
You realize that nobody is watching you or what you do.
Once you internalize this concept, your social anxiety can literally disappear overnight.
So for those of you who really struggle social anxiety, start learning about body language and start watching other people.
I guarantee you it will change the way you think and feel around others.
It's no longer going to be "me me me me me," it becomes "you you you."
And funny enough when you start watching out for others when you start giving a damn about how they feel in a social situation, guess what, they start liking you a whole lot more.
Stay tuned guys.
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2203 Folder Collection
Annie Huang published on May 3, 2020    Annie Huang translated    adam reviewed
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