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  • In this episode of MarieTV we do have some adult language.

  • So if you have little ones around grab your headphones now.

  • Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and welcome to another episode of MarieTV and the Marie Forleo Podcast.

  • So today you are in for a treat.

  • I have one of my dearest friends, she's a brilliant writer and she's got a new book

  • out that I know you are going to love.

  • Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Love Warrior, which

  • was an Oprah's Book Club selection, as well as the New York Times bestseller, Carry On

  • Warrior.

  • Glennon is an activist and speaker, and she's the founder and president of Together Rising.

  • She lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

  • Her latest book, Untamed, is available now.

  • Glennon.

  • Hi baby.

  • I know my audio guy's like, "What the hell is she doing?"

  • You guys, Untamed.

  • I texted you from the plane, I was halfway through.

  • I was bursting out of my skin because this thing is incredible.

  • I was like, "Who is my friend?

  • Who has my friend become?

  • How has she become one of the most brilliant moving writers I've ever had the pleasure

  • of reading in my life."

  • I have so many damn underlines in here, I'm like, "Holy cow, this interview is going to

  • be ..." I was like, asked you, texted you, "How long do you have today?"

  • Because this conversation's going to be big.

  • Congratulations.

  • Thank you.

  • I can't believe you said bursting out of your skin.

  • That's what I want this to do.

  • Let's get women to burst out of their skin.

  • And it will, and it will.

  • I have a feeling it's going to be atop anything that you can possibly imagine.

  • So.

  • I love the line, "When women learn how to please, we forget who we are."

  • For those in our audience who may not know who you are quite yet, or just may not be

  • familiar with your story and your journey, can you share a little bit about what inspired

  • you to write Untamed?

  • I will share another line.

  • I've been doing this a lot in this interview you guys, basically telling Glennon about

  • her own brilliant words.

  • "What follows is how I got caged and how I got free."

  • Yeah.

  • Well, who I am.

  • I've spent the last 10 years writing and speaking about feminism really, about women trusting

  • themselves and believing in themselves and conspiring together and challenging institutions

  • and ideas.

  • Then I got all of that tested fairly recently, a few years ago.

  • I was struggling for many reasons in my marriage.

  • That was the last book, and I was at an event, and a woman walked in the door and I looked

  • at her and three words swelled up in my being, and the words were, "There she is."

  • For a long time, I thought those words had come from on high.

  • This was some magical Disney moment.

  • It took me a while to realize that those words had actually come from within, right?

  • That I was actually hearing from the voice of the person I was before the world told

  • me who to be, right?

  • Because I fell in love with her, and it was the first time I'd loved someone beyond the

  • people who I had had been conditioned to love, right?

  • I wanted her so much, and it was the first time I had wanted something beyond who I'd

  • been trained to want and what I'd been trained to want.

  • Right?

  • What unfolded next was this question, will I trust that voice?

  • Will I trust myself?

  • Because what I realized is it's one thing to be a feminist out in the world saying,

  • "Believe women, trust in women," and it's quite another thing to become a woman who

  • actually trusts herself.

  • Yes.

  • Right?

  • Because the whole rest of the world, you can imagine, the whole rest of the world was saying

  • to me, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no," about upending my life, and following my truth to

  • love Abby.

  • But I think that's when you realize that you're starting to untame when the whole rest of

  • the world is going, "No," and you're going, "Yeah."

  • That is the good stuff.

  • Yes.

  • You're like, "If this makes no sense to me the world, then this must be me finally hearing

  • from myself."

  • Yes.

  • Yes, yes, yes.

  • Again, for those who don't know your journey specifically, all of this was going down when

  • your last book was soaring to the top of the charts.

  • Oprah had you on the show.

  • We're talking about marriage, you're a faith-based person.

  • There's all of these different layers and it's like, "Whoa!"

  • And life isn't convenient that way.

  • Yes.

  • Right?

  • You'll get tested right at the moment...

  • You'll get tested.

  • The universe will say, "That's nice that you're out there preaching that.

  • Do you believe it?"

  • Right?

  • Because yeah, I announced my divorce I think a few weeks before my book came out that was

  • touted as a marriage redemption, and this is life, right?

  • Yes.

  • This is life.

  • Yes.

  • Before we go any further, we have a lot of writers and aspiring writers and creators

  • in our audience, and I want to take a little bit of a right turn for a minute into the

  • structure of the book, because I get asked a lot of questions about, "Oh my gosh, I have

  • this other idea for a book," or, "I want to write my first one, how do I do it?"

  • What I so appreciated about yours, was it's like these little...

  • I would call them almost like little chapterettes, toastettes, little delicious pieces of toast

  • that I want to put tomatoes and mozzarella on, and then we go into an area that there's

  • Q&A, and then it's different.

  • It is untamed and it's structured.

  • So I'm curious from the craft of writing side, did you go in with that intention or did the

  • book reveal that to you as you were writing it?

  • It felt to me, writing this book –– art, feels to me the same way that religion or

  • sexuality, all these categories that we have, right?

  • So I have this wild faith inside of me, right?

  • This unique wild idea about who God is and who I am and how we co-create together, and

  • then I get this blueprint for religion, and I'm like, "Not that.

  • It doesn't fit in there," right?

  • Yeah.

  • Or I have this a sexual identity, right?

  • That's weird and different, and I can't really explain and was different last year than it

  • is this year.

  • Then they're like, "Here's the blueprints for sexuality."

  • I'm like, "What's in here, the wild in here doesn't fit inside there," which is what a

  • lot of people are saying now, which is why our old ideas of sexuality are crumbling,

  • and our old ideas of religion are crumbling, right?

  • Yes.

  • Same with art.

  • I wrote this book which is really about getting that wild inside out into the world and living

  • with integrity, which means that our insides match our outsides, right?

  • In a very structured way at first, it was essay after essay about what it means to be

  • a woman in the world.

  • And I sat down with a dear friend, and I was figuring out why isn't this working?

  • By the way, this is 100,000 words in.

  • Okay?

  • Yeah.

  • That's no small amount.

  • That...

  • No, at that point you're like, "I'll just make this work."

  • Right?

  • Yeah.

  • We figured out, "Oh, you're writing a book about being untamed and you're trying to put

  • it in an old structure that's been created by somebody else."

  • You're trying to birth this thing, this idea.

  • I mean art is just about having a vision inside of us and somehow through all this blood,

  • sweat and tears, making it real in the world.

  • You have this particular wild vision inside of you and you're trying to fit it into somebody

  • else's structure.

  • Burn it, throw it away, let it all burn.

  • Start over.

  • The opening vignette is about a cheetah.

  • I wrote it like that cheetah.

  • I want to run through this.

  • I don't want to second guess myself, I don't want to try to fit it into anybody, I want

  • the reader to be breathless by the end.

  • Right?

  • That's how I wrote it, and I think it feels wild.

  • It does.

  • It feels fantastic, and when I say it makes sense, I mean on an intuitive and soulful

  • level, not necessarily from a logical structured place because that's why I was like, "Yes."

  • I was like, "Even how this book unfolds is untamed."

  • I'm curious, from the publishing standpoint or editing standpoint, did you get some pushback

  • initially or...

  • Yes.

  • Yes, okay.

  • Cool.

  • Talk...

  • If you don't get to pushback initially, that means you're not doing anything new.

  • Yes.

  • Right?

  • Absolutely.

  • It's very interesting to be an artist because your job is to always push the envelope, to

  • always do the next thing that no one's ever seen before.

  • But inherent in that is that you're bringing that new thing to a structure that is built