Welcome back to another episode of

TwoSet in Quarantine.

That's right. If you don't know why we're separate,

go watch our other video, you, you...

unsupportive Ling Ling wannabe.

Just kidding, guys. Don't take it personally.

Just kidding, just kidding.

We'll be in quarantine, life is difficult.

We're getting all agitated at home.

Yes.

Well...

Today we will be roasting

some strange gadgets on these Chinese websites for-

that are related to the violin.

Let's do it.

Chinese reading practice time. Let's go!

Right now it says...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

This is the God Pillar.

- Oh, this is... - Oh wow...

If you want to challenge Ling Ling, guys,

get the God Pillar.

You know it's like, legit, too.

'cause there's a crotchet.

They must be musicians.

And so... it says here on the...

the next line down.

Ooh...!

Basically, it say-

I... I can't read the rest.

But it's saying...

It's a God Pillar rod that will...

improve your tone quality

for violins, violas, and cellos.

Violas, this is your chance to become a god.

Yeah, finally you can sound good with the God Pillar, violists.

Alright, there's a video here.

Should we watch it?

Wait, pause, pause...

First of all...

*speaks in high pitch* Why is she talking like this?

*speaks in high pitch* Hey guys, welcome to TwoSet Violin!

It sounds like she has a God Pillar up her-

Wait, pause, pause, pause!

Alright, first of all, she said...

"There's 9,800 people using this in the world."

Using it, yeah!

Dude, that's such a randomly specific number!

Ha ha!

Like not 10,000, they say 9,800.

I can't tell if they're trying to be honest about it,

or trying to just pretend to be honest about it.

And, and...

Apologize, my Chinese is not that good.

But I think she said...

"It will make your violin sound..."

"value of 90,000 dollars?"

Does a Strad that's worth 10 million dollar

get improved down to 90,000 dollars?

Like how does that work?

It's like, if you have a violin more expensive,

it just goes back down to 90,000.

Yeah, it goes down in value.

Wait, wait, wait!

Pause, pause...

- What is she doing?! - Wow...

WHAT IS SHE DOING?!

It actually is a metal rod in the violin!

AHH!!!

Okay, putting the rod in is one thing.

But think about the other side of the rod.

What is it doing to the wood on the other side of the violin,

near the neck?

Dude... That poor violin!

It's going up the violin's...

Butthole.

Eddy: Yeah!

That is against violin rights.

And look, it says in the subtitle in the video,

"only takes 10 minutes to install."

Dude, what the f***!

I have never met a violinist,

unless they're like a freaking trained luthier,

that just takes out the endpin, and put something inside.

Oh, you need the sound post to not move as well.

'Cause if you release the pressure, the sound post will drop.

Then you've lost all your sound.

But don't worry, guys. The metal rod will save you.

Whoa!

Stop!

Did you see that?!

- The freaking nail, ha ha! - They just stabbed the wood!

It stabbed the block of the-

Oh my god!

Guys, you do not poke holes in your instrument.

The holes, they are all premade and preset

by luthiers and violin makers.

Don't. Make. Any. More. Holes.

Brett: Stop the holes.

Stop the holes!

Just based off the claim that

this is easy to insert and only takes 10 minutes,

that's ********.

I don't think to this day I've done this to my violin.

Taken the whole tail piece off myself.

Don't do it.

You need a luthier.

Hi, guys!

We wanted to ask an expert to just get their opinion.

So Olaf.

We've got uh-

It's our friend, A Cup of Copee.

It's supposed to actually screw right here into the top block.

- Without being able to see anything, - Yeah!

- how would you even get it to the middle of the... - Yeah!

top block, you know?

When you guys told me, I got an old cello spike.

So we can kinda see what it's supposed- Ha ha ha...

So it's-

So it's supposed to go through the middle of the instrument.

I mean, this is solid.

So I mean it's really close to the sound post.

So if someone self-installs this,

it's likely that they'll knock over the sound post in the process.

How bad would it be

if you actually accidentally screwed it in through the rib,

and the screw comes out the other side.

Alright, pause!

She said it again, right?

99-

- Oh wait! - 990,000.

No, that's...

990,000!

"...worth of tone quality direct to your house."

Guys, you want some...

- 990,000 worth tone quality direct to you house - Innovation of the year!

in a package?

I'll probably just grab it, and go...

That metal thing literally looks like

a bubble tea stainless steel straw.

Eddy: There's no science. It's just a hollow metal rod.

That's not gonna make your violin sound better.

Can I just say how impractical this is?

'Cause most violins are not all the same size.

I don't know if it says that you can like,

move the metal up and down,

like, extend the length or not, to adapt to your violin size.

That's just gonna be sticking out of the...

butthole of the violin.

At the bottom, you see how there's 3 rods next to each other?

Brett: Yeah.

And it's like...

"The stainless steel one will sound brighter,"

"whereas the carbon fiber one"

"will sound darker and warmer," like...

Oh wait.

Steel looks bright, carbon fiber looks dark.

"We'll just use that as a selling point."

Guys, please.

I really hope...

no one bought this.

Oh, and look, look!

If you keep going down, there's the version with the cellos

that extends to the endpin.

- And if you keep going down, there's a model. - WHAT THE ****!!

- Why is she naked!? - Why is there a model with-

Okay, blur it out, editor.

Did she get the God Pillar?

Is that what-

What? Why?!

"Before you install it,"

"your instrument is sick,"

"it needs to be cured by this God Pillar."

Wait, so are they saying

this woman is the God Pillar now

to save your sickness?

Dude, look at