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  • This month, athletes from around the world are descending upon Sochi

  • to represent their country.

  • You're not participating.

  • You are going to be watching on TV

  • because that's what you're best at.

  • But it's important that you maximize this experience for peak enjoyment.

  • First, make your environment more Russian.

  • Put on traditional Ushanka.

  • Have a babushka lady cook you a meal of boiled potatoes

  • Then eat them from nested Matryoshka dolls.

  • Turn your bathroom into a Banya.

  • Don't be bashful. These guys have seen it all.

  • Most of the actual competition will happen while you're asleep

  • Because time zones.

  • Travel there in dream state

  • By listening to mixtape of winter sports sounds.

  • During your waking hours, watch as many events as possible, simultaneously.

  • This will give you the opportunity to finally use that second eyeball.

  • Enjoy the inception like experience of

  • curling while watching curling.

  • Dont get cute and have snowboarding session while watching snowboarding.

  • If you must leave the house

  • keep the spirit that the games alive by dressing like an ice dancer.

  • You'll learn a thing or two about teamwork.

  • Assume the posture of a ski jumper while urinating.

  • Finally remember that seeing your fellow countrymen or women on the podium

  • Can be an emotional experience for some.

  • Feel free to cry, if you must.

  • Okay that's enough.

  • It's just a bronze.

This month, athletes from around the world are descending upon Sochi

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