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  • Chapter I. Down the Rabbit-Hole

  • Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of

  • having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was

  • reading, but it had no pictures or

  • conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures

  • or conversation?'

  • So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her

  • feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be

  • worth the trouble of getting up and picking

  • the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

  • There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so VERY much

  • out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be

  • late!'

  • (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have

  • wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit

  • actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-

  • POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it

  • flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a

  • waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of

  • it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately

  • was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

  • In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she

  • was to get out again.

  • The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped

  • suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping

  • herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.

  • Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as

  • she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next.

  • First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark

  • to see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they

  • were filled with cupboards and book-

  • shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs.

  • She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE

  • MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the

  • jar for fear of killing somebody, so

  • managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

  • 'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing

  • of tumbling down stairs!

  • How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even

  • if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)

  • Down, down, down.

  • Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by

  • this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the

  • centre of the earth.

  • Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice

  • had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though

  • this was not a VERY good opportunity for

  • showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good

  • practice to say it over) '--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder

  • what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?'

  • (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were

  • nice grand words to say.) Presently she began again.

  • 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the earth!

  • How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward!

  • The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this time,

  • as it didn't sound at all the right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the

  • name of the country is, you know.

  • Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?'

  • (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke-- fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling through

  • the air!

  • Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an ignorant little girl she'll

  • think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall

  • see it written up somewhere.'

  • Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon

  • began talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I

  • should think!'

  • (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk

  • at tea-time. Dinah my dear!

  • I wish you were down here with me!

  • There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very

  • like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?'

  • And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy

  • sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes,

  • 'Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't

  • much matter which way she put it.

  • She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking

  • hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the

  • truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when

  • suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the

  • fall was over.

  • Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up,

  • but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, and the White

  • Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it.

  • There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in

  • time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's

  • getting!'

  • She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be

  • seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps

  • hanging from the roof.

  • There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice had

  • been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly

  • down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.

  • Suddenly she came upon a little three- legged table, all made of solid glass;

  • there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was

  • that it might belong to one of the doors of

  • the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at

  • any rate it would not open any of them.

  • However, on the second time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed

  • before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the

  • little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

  • Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than

  • a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you

  • ever saw.

  • How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of

  • bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through

  • the doorway; 'and even if my head would go

  • through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would be of very little use without my shoulders.

  • Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!

  • I think I could, if I only know how to begin.'

  • For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun

  • to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

  • There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table,

  • half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for

  • shutting people up like telescopes: this

  • time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here before,'

  • said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words

  • 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.

  • It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do

  • THAT in a hurry.

  • 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for

  • she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten

  • up by wild beasts and other unpleasant

  • things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had taught

  • them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that

  • if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a

  • knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a

  • bottle marked 'poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or

  • later.

  • However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it,

  • and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart,

  • custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee,

  • and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.

  • 'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a telescope.'

  • And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at

  • the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that

  • lovely garden.

  • First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink

  • any further: she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,'

  • said Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle.

  • I wonder what I should be like then?'

  • And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown

  • out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

  • After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the

  • garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she found she had

  • forgotten the little golden key, and when

  • she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she

  • could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up

  • one of the legs of the table, but it was

  • too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little

  • thing sat down and cried.

  • 'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; 'I

  • advise you to leave off this minute!'

  • She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed

  • it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes;

  • and once she remembered trying to box her

  • own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against

  • herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people.

  • 'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people!

  • Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'

  • Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened

  • it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully

  • marked in currants.

  • 'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key;

  • and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll

  • get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'

  • She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way?

  • Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing,

  • and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure,

  • this generally happens when one eats cake,

  • but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things

  • to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

  • So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

  • >

  • Chapter II. The Pool of Tears

  • 'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment

  • she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm opening out like the

  • largest telescope that ever was!

  • Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out

  • of sight, they were getting so far off).

  • 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you

  • now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able!

  • I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage

  • the best way you can;--but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they

  • won't walk the way I want to go!

  • Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'

  • And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.

  • 'They must go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending presents

  • to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look!

  • ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. HEARTHRUG,

  • NEAR THE FENDER, (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

  • Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

  • Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now more than

  • nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the

  • garden door.

  • Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look through

  • into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: she

  • sat down and began to cry again.

  • 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like you,' (she might

  • well say this), 'to go on crying in this way!

  • Stop this moment, I tell you!'

  • But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large

  • pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

  • After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she hastily

  • dried her eyes to see what was coming.

  • It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white

  • kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a

  • great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess!

  • Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!'

  • Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit

  • came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--' The Rabbit

  • started violently, dropped the white kid

  • gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.

  • Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning

  • herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear!

  • How queer everything is to-day!

  • And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night?

  • Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning?

  • I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.

  • But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I?

  • Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!'

  • And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age

  • as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.

  • 'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine

  • doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of

  • things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little!

  • Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is!

  • I'll try if I know all the things I used to know.

  • Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times

  • seven is--oh dear!

  • I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't

  • signify: let's try Geography.

  • London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome--no,

  • THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for Mabel!

  • I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if

  • she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and

  • strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--

  • 'How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail,

  • And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale!

  • 'How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spread his claws,

  • And welcome little fishes in With gently smiling jaws!'

  • 'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with

  • tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and

  • live in that poky little house, and have

  • next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn!

  • No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here!

  • It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!"

  • I shall only look up and say "Who am I then?

  • Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not,

  • I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a

  • sudden burst of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down!

  • I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

  • As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that she

  • had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking.

  • 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought.

  • 'I must be growing small again.'

  • She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly as

  • she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly:

  • she soon found out that the cause of this

  • was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid

  • shrinking away altogether.

  • 'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden change,

  • but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and

  • she ran with all speed back to the little

  • door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying

  • on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor

  • child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never!

  • And I declare it's too bad, that it is!'

  • As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up

  • to her chin in salt water.

  • Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I

  • can go back by railway,' she said to herself.

  • (Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general

  • conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a number of bathing

  • machines in the sea, some children digging

  • in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a

  • railway station.)

  • However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when

  • she was nine feet high.

  • 'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find

  • her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose,

  • by being drowned in my own tears!

  • That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'

  • Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off, and she

  • swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a walrus or

  • hippopotamus, but then she remembered how

  • small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped

  • in like herself. 'Would it be of any use, now,' thought

  • Alice, 'to speak to this mouse?

  • Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it can

  • talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.'

  • So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool?

  • I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'

  • (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done

  • such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar,

  • 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse-- O mouse!')

  • The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink

  • with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.

  • 'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's a French

  • mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.'

  • (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago

  • anything had happened.)

  • So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in her French

  • lesson-book.

  • The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with

  • fright.

  • 'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor

  • animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

  • 'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice.

  • 'Would YOU like cats if you were me?' 'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a

  • soothing tone: 'don't be angry about it.

  • And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to cats

  • if you could only see her.

  • She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily

  • about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and

  • washing her face--and she is such a nice

  • soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg

  • your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and

  • she felt certain it must be really offended.

  • 'We won't talk about her any more if you'd rather not.'

  • 'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail.

  • 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED cats: nasty, low,

  • vulgar things!

  • Don't let me hear the name again!' 'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great

  • hurry to change the subject of conversation.

  • 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'

  • The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog

  • near our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know,

  • with oh, such long curly brown hair!

  • And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner,

  • and all sorts of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer,

  • you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!

  • He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful tone,

  • 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!'

  • For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a

  • commotion in the pool as it went. So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear!

  • Do come back again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like

  • them!'

  • When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was

  • quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let

  • us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you

  • my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

  • It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds and

  • animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet,

  • and several other curious creatures.

  • Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.

  • >

  • Chapter III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

  • They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds with

  • draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all

  • dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.

  • The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation

  • about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find

  • herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life.

  • Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and

  • would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not

  • allow without knowing how old it was, and,

  • as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

  • At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called out,

  • 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!

  • I'LL soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring,

  • with the Mouse in the middle.

  • Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad

  • cold if she did not get dry very soon. 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important

  • air, 'are you all ready?

  • This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!

  • "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to

  • by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation

  • and conquest.

  • Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'

  • 'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

  • 'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did you

  • speak?' 'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

  • 'I thought you did,' said the Mouse.

  • '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and

  • Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of

  • Canterbury, found it advisable--"'

  • 'Found WHAT?' said the Duck. 'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather

  • crossly: 'of course you know what "it" means.'

  • 'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: 'it's

  • generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop

  • find?'

  • The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found it advisable

  • to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown.

  • William's conduct at first was moderate.

  • But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued,

  • turning to Alice as it spoke.

  • 'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to dry me

  • at all.'

  • 'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move that the

  • meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--'

  • 'Speak English!' said the Eaglet.

  • 'I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and, what's more, I don't

  • believe you do either!'

  • And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered

  • audibly.

  • 'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that the best thing

  • to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

  • 'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo

  • had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed

  • inclined to say anything.

  • 'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.'

  • (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you

  • how the Dodo managed it.)

  • First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact shape doesn't

  • matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and

  • there.

  • There was no 'One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, and

  • left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.

  • However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the

  • Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it,

  • panting, and asking, 'But who has won?'

  • This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat

  • for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which

  • you usually see Shakespeare, in the

  • pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence.

  • At last the Dodo said, 'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'

  • 'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.

  • 'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the

  • whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes!

  • Prizes!'

  • Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and

  • pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and handed

  • them round as prizes.

  • There was exactly one a-piece all round. 'But she must have a prize herself, you

  • know,' said the Mouse. 'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely.

  • 'What else have you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.

  • 'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. 'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

  • Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the

  • thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when it had

  • finished this short speech, they all cheered.

  • Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did

  • not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed,

  • and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.

  • The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the

  • large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and

  • had to be patted on the back.

  • However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse

  • to tell them something more.

  • 'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why it is you hate-

  • -C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.

  • 'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

  • 'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse's

  • tail; 'but why do you call it sad?'

  • And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the

  • tale was something like this:--

  • 'Fury said to a mouse, That he

  • met in the house,

  • "Let us

  • both go to law: I will

  • prosecute YOU.--Come,

  • I'll take no

  • denial; We must have a

  • trial: For really this

  • morning I've

  • nothing to do."

  • Said the mouse to the

  • cur, "Such

  • a trial, dear Sir,

  • With no jury

  • or judge,

  • would be wasting

  • our breath."

  • "I'll be

  • judge, I'll be jury,"

  • Said cunning

  • old Fury:

  • "I'll try the

  • whole cause,

  • and

  • condemn you

  • to death."'

  • 'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.

  • 'What are you thinking of?'

  • 'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth bend, I

  • think?' 'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and

  • very angrily.

  • 'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about

  • her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

  • 'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking away.

  • 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!' 'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice.

  • 'But you're so easily offended, you know!'

  • The Mouse only growled in reply. 'Please come back and finish your story!'

  • Alice called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the

  • Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.

  • 'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight;

  • and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear!

  • Let this be a lesson to you never to lose YOUR temper!'

  • 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly.

  • 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'

  • 'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in

  • particular.

  • 'She'd soon fetch it back!' 'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to

  • ask the question?' said the Lory.

  • Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: 'Dinah's our

  • cat. And she's such a capital one for catching

  • mice you can't think!

  • And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds!

  • Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'

  • This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.

  • Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very

  • carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my

  • throat!' and a Canary called out in a

  • trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my dears!

  • It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts they all moved off, and

  • Alice was soon left alone.

  • 'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone.

  • 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world!

  • Oh, my dear Dinah!

  • I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for

  • she felt very lonely and low-spirited.

  • In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the

  • distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind,

  • and was coming back to finish his story.

  • >

  • Chapter IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

  • It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as

  • it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself 'The

  • Duchess!

  • The Duchess! Oh my dear paws!

  • Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets

  • are ferrets!

  • Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?'

  • Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white

  • kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were

  • nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to

  • have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table

  • and the little door, had vanished completely.

  • Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out to her

  • in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing out here?

  • Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!

  • Quick, now!'

  • And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed

  • to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made.

  • 'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.

  • 'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am!

  • But I'd better take him his fan and gloves- -that is, if I can find them.'

  • As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a

  • bright brass plate with the name 'W.

  • RABBIT' engraved upon it.

  • She went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should

  • meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan

  • and gloves.

  • 'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for a

  • rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on

  • messages next!'

  • And she began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice!

  • Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!"

  • "Coming in a minute, nurse!

  • But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out."

  • Only I don't think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it

  • began ordering people about like that!'

  • By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the

  • window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid

  • gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of

  • the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little

  • bottle that stood near the looking-glass.

  • There was no label this time with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked

  • it and put it to her lips.

  • 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, 'whenever I

  • eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does.

  • I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a

  • tiny little thing!'

  • It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk half the

  • bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her

  • neck from being broken.

  • She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I

  • shan't grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk

  • quite so much!'

  • Alas! it was too late to wish that!

  • She went on growing, and growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in

  • another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying

  • down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head.

  • Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out of the

  • window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more,

  • whatever happens.

  • What WILL become of me?'

  • Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she grew

  • no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of

  • chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

  • 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't always growing

  • larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits.

  • I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather

  • curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!

  • When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now

  • here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me,

  • that there ought!

  • And when I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful

  • tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.'

  • 'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am now?

  • That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but then--always to have

  • lessons to learn!

  • Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' 'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered

  • herself. 'How can you learn lessons in here?

  • Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all for any lesson-books!'

  • And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a

  • conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and

  • stopped to listen.

  • 'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice.

  • 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the

  • stairs.

  • Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook

  • the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the

  • Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.

  • Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as the door

  • opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt

  • proved a failure.

  • Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

  • 'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard the

  • Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in

  • the air.

  • She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a

  • crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was just possible it had

  • fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something of the sort.

  • Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's-- 'Pat!

  • Pat!

  • Where are you?' And then a voice she had never heard

  • before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'

  • 'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily.

  • 'Here! Come and help me out of THIS!'

  • (Sounds of more broken glass.)

  • 'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'

  • 'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.')

  • 'An arm, you goose!

  • Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole window!'

  • 'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'

  • 'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'

  • There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and

  • then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!'

  • 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again, and made

  • another snatch in the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks,

  • and more sounds of broken glass.

  • 'What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice.

  • 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only

  • wish they COULD!

  • I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'

  • She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling of

  • little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking together: she made

  • out the words: 'Where's the other ladder?

  • --Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!

  • --Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half

  • high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill!

  • catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?

  • --Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down!

  • Heads below!'

  • (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that? --It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go down

  • the chimney? --Nay, I shan't!

  • YOU do it!

  • --That I won't, then! --Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master

  • says you're to go down the chimney!' 'Oh!

  • So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself.

  • 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!

  • I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure;

  • but I THINK I can kick a little!'

  • She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she heard a

  • little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and scrambling

  • about in the chimney close above her: then,

  • saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what

  • would happen next.

  • The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' then the

  • Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then another

  • confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--

  • Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?

  • What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'

  • Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought Alice,) 'Well, I

  • hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell

  • you--all I know is, something comes at me

  • like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!'

  • 'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.

  • 'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out as

  • loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'

  • There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I wonder what

  • they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof

  • off.'

  • After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit

  • say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.'

  • 'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, for the next

  • moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of them

  • hit her in the face.

  • 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not

  • do that again!' which produced another dead silence.

  • Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes

  • as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head.

  • 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make SOME change in my size;

  • and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.'

  • So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began shrinking

  • directly.

  • As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house,

  • and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.

  • The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs,

  • who were giving it something out of a bottle.

  • They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as

  • she could, and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.

  • 'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered about in

  • the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to find my

  • way into that lovely garden.

  • I think that will be the best plan.'

  • It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged; the only

  • difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it; and

  • while she was peering about anxiously among

  • the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a great hurry.

  • An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly

  • stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.

  • 'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle

  • to it; but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be

  • hungry, in which case it would be very

  • likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.

  • Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it out to

  • the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once, with a

  • yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick,

  • and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep

  • herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy

  • made another rush at the stick, and tumbled

  • head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very like

  • having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every moment to be trampled

  • under its feet, ran round the thistle

  • again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very

  • little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all the

  • while, till at last it sat down a good way

  • off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.

  • This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off at once,

  • and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded

  • quite faint in the distance.

  • 'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a

  • buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: 'I should

  • have liked teaching it tricks very much,

  • if--if I'd only been the right size to do it!

  • Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow

  • up again!

  • Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something

  • or other; but the great question is, what?' The great question certainly was, what?

  • Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not

  • see anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the

  • circumstances.

  • There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and

  • when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to

  • her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.

  • She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and

  • her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top

  • with its arms folded, quietly smoking a

  • long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.

  • >

  • Chapter V. Advice from a Caterpillar

  • The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the

  • Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid,

  • sleepy voice.

  • 'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a

  • conversation.

  • Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know

  • who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several

  • times since then.'

  • 'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.

  • 'Explain yourself!'

  • 'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not myself, you

  • see.' 'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, 'for I can't

  • understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is

  • very confusing.'

  • 'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you have to

  • turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a

  • butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'

  • 'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know is, it

  • would feel very queer to ME.' 'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously.

  • 'Who are YOU?'

  • Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.

  • Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short

  • remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think, you ought to tell

  • me who YOU are, first.'

  • 'Why?' said the Caterpillar.

  • Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason,

  • and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned

  • away.

  • 'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her.

  • 'I've something important to say!' This sounded promising, certainly: Alice

  • turned and came back again.

  • 'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. 'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down

  • her anger as well as she could. 'No,' said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps

  • after all it might tell her something worth hearing.

  • For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms,

  • took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think you're changed, do

  • you?'

  • 'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I used--and I

  • don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'

  • 'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came

  • different!'

  • Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"'

  • said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice folded her hands, and began:-- 'You are old, Father William,'

  • the young man said, 'And your hair has become very white;

  • And yet you incessantly stand on your head--

  • Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

  • 'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,

  • I feared it might injure the brain;

  • But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

  • Why, I do it again and again.'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,

  • And have grown most uncommonly fat;

  • Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--

  • Pray, what is the reason of that?'

  • 'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,

  • 'I kept all my limbs very supple

  • By the use of this ointment-- one shilling the box--

  • Allow me to sell you a couple?'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak

  • For anything tougher than suet;

  • Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--

  • Pray how did you manage to do it?'

  • 'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,

  • And argued each case with my wife;

  • And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

  • Has lasted the rest of my life.'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose

  • That your eye was as steady as ever;

  • Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--

  • What made you so awfully clever?'

  • 'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'

  • Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs!

  • Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

  • Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

  • 'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words have got

  • altered.'

  • 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was

  • silence for some minutes. The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

  • 'What size do you want to be?' it asked.

  • 'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one doesn't like

  • changing so often, you know.' 'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and

  • she felt that she was losing her temper. 'Are you content now?' said the

  • Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said Alice:

  • 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.'

  • 'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright

  • as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

  • 'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.

  • And she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!'

  • 'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its

  • mouth and began smoking again. This time Alice waited patiently until it

  • chose to speak again.

  • In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or

  • twice, and shook itself.

  • Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking

  • as it went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you

  • grow shorter.'

  • 'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to

  • herself.

  • 'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in

  • another moment it was out of sight.

  • Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out

  • which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very

  • difficult question.

  • However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke

  • off a bit of the edge with each hand.

  • 'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right-

  • hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her

  • chin: it had struck her foot!

  • She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was

  • no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat

  • some of the other bit.

  • Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open

  • her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand

  • bit.

  • 'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into

  • alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be

  • found: all she could see, when she looked

  • down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of

  • green leaves that lay far below her. 'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said

  • Alice.

  • 'And where HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't

  • see you?'

  • She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little

  • shaking among the distant green leaves.

  • As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get

  • her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily

  • in any direction, like a serpent.

  • She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to

  • dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees

  • under which she had been wandering, when a

  • sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and

  • was beating her violently with its wings. 'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.

  • 'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly.

  • 'Let me alone!'

  • 'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and

  • added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!'

  • 'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.

  • 'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,' the

  • Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those serpents!

  • There's no pleasing them!'

  • Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything

  • more till the Pigeon had finished.

  • 'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; 'but I must be

  • on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these

  • three weeks!'

  • 'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see its

  • meaning.

  • 'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon, raising

  • its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last,

  • they must needs come wriggling down from the sky!

  • Ugh, Serpent!' 'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said

  • Alice.

  • 'I'm a--I'm a--' 'Well!

  • WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to invent

  • something!'

  • 'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of

  • changes she had gone through that day. 'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in

  • a tone of the deepest contempt.

  • 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck as

  • that! No, no!

  • You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it.

  • I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'

  • 'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful child; 'but

  • little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.'

  • 'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're a kind of

  • serpent, that's all I can say.'

  • This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which

  • gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well

  • enough; and what does it matter to me

  • whether you're a little girl or a serpent?'

  • 'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking for eggs, as

  • it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'

  • 'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into

  • its nest.

  • Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting

  • entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it.

  • After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands,

  • and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the

  • other, and growing sometimes taller and

  • sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual

  • height.

  • It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite

  • strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to

  • herself, as usual.

  • 'Come, there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are!

  • I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another!

  • However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into that

  • beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?'

  • As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about

  • four feet high.

  • 'Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS

  • size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!'

  • So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the

  • house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.

  • >

  • Chapter VI. Pig and Pepper

  • For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do next,

  • when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she considered

  • him to be a footman because he was in

  • livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a fish)--

  • and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles.

  • It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a

  • frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their

  • heads.

  • She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and crept a little way out of

  • the wood to listen.

  • The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as

  • large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn tone,

  • 'For the Duchess.

  • An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.'

  • The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the

  • words a little, 'From the Queen.

  • An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.'

  • Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.

  • Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their

  • hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other

  • was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

  • Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

  • 'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for two reasons.

  • First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they're

  • making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.'

  • And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within--a

  • constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or

  • kettle had been broken to pieces.

  • 'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'

  • 'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without

  • attending to her, 'if we had the door between us.

  • For instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.'

  • He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought

  • decidedly uncivil.

  • 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at

  • the top of his head. But at any rate he might answer questions.

  • --How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.

  • 'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--'

  • At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming

  • out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces

  • against one of the trees behind him.

  • '--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if

  • nothing had happened. 'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in

  • a louder tone.

  • 'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman.

  • 'That's the first question, you know.' It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like

  • to be told so.

  • 'It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue.

  • It's enough to drive one crazy!'

  • The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, with

  • variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off,

  • for days and days.'

  • 'But what am I to do?' said Alice. 'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and

  • began whistling.

  • 'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's perfectly

  • idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.

  • The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the

  • other: the Duchess was sitting on a three- legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby;

  • the cook was leaning over the fire,

  • stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.

  • 'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!'

  • Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

  • There was certainly too much of it in the air.

  • Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and

  • howling alternately without a moment's pause.

  • The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat

  • which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

  • 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure

  • whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why your cat grins like

  • that?'

  • 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why.

  • Pig!'

  • She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but she

  • saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took

  • courage, and went on again:--

  • 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats

  • COULD grin.' 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most

  • of 'em do.'

  • 'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased to

  • have got into a conversation. 'You don't know much,' said the Duchess;

  • 'and that's a fact.'

  • Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as well to

  • introduce some other subject of conversation.

  • While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the

  • fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess

  • and the baby--the fire-irons came first;

  • then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes.

  • The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling

  • so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it

  • or not.

  • 'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of

  • terror.

  • 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it,

  • and very nearly carried it off.

  • 'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, 'the

  • world would go round a deal faster than it does.'

  • 'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get an

  • opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge.

  • 'Just think of what work it would make with the day and night!

  • You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--'

  • 'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'

  • Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the hint; but

  • the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on

  • again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is it twelve?

  • I--' 'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I

  • never could abide figures!'

  • And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as

  • she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:

  • 'Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes:

  • He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases.'

  • CHORUS. (In which the cook and the baby joined):

  • 'Wow! wow! wow!'

  • While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby

  • violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly

  • hear the words:--

  • 'I speak severely to my boy, I beat him when he sneezes;

  • For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases!'

  • CHORUS. 'Wow! wow! wow!'

  • 'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, flinging

  • the baby at her as she spoke.

  • 'I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the

  • room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as

  • she went out, but it just missed her.

  • Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little creature,

  • and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just like a star-fish,'

  • thought Alice.

  • The poor little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept

  • doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the

  • first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.

  • As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to twist it up

  • into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as

  • to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air.

  • 'IF I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in

  • a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind?'

  • She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left

  • off sneezing by this time). 'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at

  • all a proper way of expressing yourself.'

  • The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what

  • was the matter with it.

  • There could be no doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a

  • real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether

  • Alice did not like the look of the thing at all.

  • 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to

  • see if there were any tears.

  • No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my

  • dear,' said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you.

  • Mind now!'

  • The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which),

  • and they went on for some while in silence.

  • Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with this

  • creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, that she

  • looked down into its face in some alarm.

  • This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a

  • pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further.

  • So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot away

  • quietly into the wood.

  • 'If it had grown up,' she said to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly

  • child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.'

  • And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs,

  • and was just saying to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--'

  • when she was a little startled by seeing

  • the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.

  • The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.

  • It looked good-natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many

  • teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.

  • 'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would

  • like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider.

  • 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on.

  • 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

  • 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

  • 'I don't much care where--' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,'

  • said the Cat.

  • '--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

  • 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'

  • Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question.

  • 'What sort of people live about here?'

  • 'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives a Hatter: and

  • in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March Hare.

  • Visit either you like: they're both mad.'

  • 'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

  • 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here.

  • I'm mad.

  • You're mad.' 'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

  • 'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'

  • Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how do you know

  • that you're mad?' 'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not

  • mad.

  • You grant that?' 'I suppose so,' said Alice.

  • 'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its

  • tail when it's pleased.

  • Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry.

  • Therefore I'm mad.' 'I call it purring, not growling,' said

  • Alice.

  • 'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the Queen to-

  • day?' 'I should like it very much,' said Alice,

  • 'but I haven't been invited yet.'

  • 'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.

  • Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things

  • happening.

  • While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.

  • 'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat.

  • 'I'd nearly forgotten to ask.'

  • 'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a natural

  • way. 'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and

  • vanished again.

  • Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, and

  • after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare was said

  • to live.

  • 'I've seen hatters before,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the

  • most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so

  • mad as it was in March.'

  • As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a

  • tree. 'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

  • 'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing

  • so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'

  • 'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the

  • end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of

  • it had gone.

  • 'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,'

  • thought Alice; 'but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in

  • my life!'

  • She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the March

  • Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were shaped

  • like ears and the roof was thatched with fur.

  • It was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had nibbled some

  • more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even

  • then she walked up towards it rather

  • timidly, saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all!

  • I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!'

  • >

  • Chapter VII. A Mad Tea-Party

  • There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and

  • the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast

  • asleep, and the other two were using it as

  • a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.

  • 'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I

  • suppose it doesn't mind.'

  • The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of

  • it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw

  • Alice coming.

  • 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large

  • arm-chair at one end of the table. 'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an

  • encouraging tone.

  • Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea.

  • 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

  • 'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.

  • 'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the March

  • Hare.

  • 'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great many more

  • than three.' 'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter.

  • He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his

  • first speech.

  • 'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some severity;

  • 'it's very rude.'

  • The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, 'Why is

  • a raven like a writing-desk?' 'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought

  • Alice.

  • 'I'm glad they've begun asking riddles. --I believe I can guess that,' she added

  • aloud. 'Do you mean that you think you can find

  • out the answer to it?' said the March Hare.

  • 'Exactly so,' said Alice. 'Then you should say what you mean,' the

  • March Hare went on.

  • 'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least-- at least I mean what I say--that's the same

  • thing, you know.' 'Not the same thing a bit!' said the

  • Hatter.

  • 'You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat

  • what I see"!'

  • 'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I get" is

  • the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

  • 'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his

  • sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I

  • breathe"!'

  • 'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped,

  • and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could

  • remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.

  • The Hatter was the first to break the silence.

  • 'What day of the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch

  • out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then,

  • and holding it to his ear.

  • Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'

  • 'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter.

  • 'I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the

  • March Hare. 'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare

  • meekly replied.

  • 'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: 'you shouldn't

  • have put it in with the bread-knife.'

  • The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup

  • of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than

  • his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter, you know.'

  • Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.

  • 'What a funny watch!' she remarked.

  • 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'

  • 'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?'

  • 'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it stays the

  • same year for such a long time together.' 'Which is just the case with MINE,' said

  • the Hatter.

  • Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort

  • of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.

  • 'I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she could.

  • 'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon

  • its nose.

  • The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, 'Of

  • course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'

  • 'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

  • 'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'

  • 'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.

  • 'Nor I,' said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily.

  • 'I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, 'than waste it in

  • asking riddles that have no answers.'

  • 'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk about

  • wasting IT. It's HIM.'

  • 'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

  • 'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously.

  • 'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'

  • 'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time when I

  • learn music.' 'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the

  • Hatter.

  • 'He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with

  • him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock.

  • For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:

  • you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling!

  • Half-past one, time for dinner!'

  • ('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

  • 'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I shouldn't

  • be hungry for it, you know.'

  • 'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to half-past one as

  • long as you liked.' 'Is that the way YOU manage?'

  • Alice asked.

  • The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied.

  • 'We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing with his

  • tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of

  • Hearts, and I had to sing

  • "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at!"

  • You know the song, perhaps?' 'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

  • 'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:--

  • "Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky.

  • Twinkle, twinkle--"'

  • Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, twinkle,

  • twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.

  • 'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the Queen

  • jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time!

  • Off with his head!"'

  • 'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. 'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on

  • in a mournful tone, 'he won't do a thing I ask!

  • It's always six o'clock now.'

  • A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many tea-things are

  • put out here?' she asked.

  • 'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time, and we've no

  • time to wash the things between whiles.' 'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?'

  • said Alice.

  • 'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.'

  • 'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?'

  • Alice ventured to ask.

  • 'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning.

  • 'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'

  • 'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.

  • 'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!'

  • And they pinched it on both sides at once.

  • The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse,

  • feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.'

  • 'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

  • 'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. 'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter,

  • 'or you'll be asleep again before it's done.'

  • 'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great

  • hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of

  • a well--'

  • 'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions

  • of eating and drinking. 'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse,

  • after thinking a minute or two.

  • 'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd have been

  • ill.' 'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY

  • ill.'

  • Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be

  • like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But why did they live at the

  • bottom of a well?'

  • 'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.

  • 'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't take more.'

  • 'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take MORE than

  • nothing.' 'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.

  • 'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly.

  • Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and

  • bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question.

  • 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

  • The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, 'It was a

  • treacle-well.'

  • 'There's no such thing!'

  • Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!'

  • and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the

  • story for yourself.'

  • 'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt

  • again. I dare say there may be ONE.'

  • 'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly.

  • However, he consented to go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they

  • were learning to draw, you know--'

  • 'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

  • 'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.

  • 'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place on.'

  • He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the

  • Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March

  • Hare.

  • The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a

  • good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into

  • his plate.

  • Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: 'But I

  • don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'

  • 'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should think you

  • could draw treacle out of a treacle-well-- eh, stupid?'

  • 'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this

  • last remark. 'Of course they were', said the Dormouse;

  • '--well in.'

  • This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time

  • without interrupting it.

  • 'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for

  • it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of things--everything that

  • begins with an M--'

  • 'Why with an M?' said Alice. 'Why not?' said the March Hare.

  • Alice was silent.

  • The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but,

  • on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: '-

  • -that begins with an M, such as mouse-

  • traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say things are "much

  • of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'

  • 'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't think--'

  • 'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

  • This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust,

  • and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took

  • the least notice of her going, though she

  • looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time

  • she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

  • 'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her way through

  • the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at

  • in all my life!'

  • Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into

  • it. 'That's very curious!' she thought.

  • 'But everything's curious today.

  • I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went.

  • Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table.

  • 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by taking the

  • little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden.

  • Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her

  • pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage:

  • and THEN--she found herself at last in the

  • beautiful garden, among the bright flower- beds and the cool fountains.

  • >

  • Chapter VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground A large rose-tree stood near the entrance

  • of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at

  • it, busily painting them red.

  • Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just

  • as she came up to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five!

  • Don't go splashing paint over me like that!'

  • 'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'

  • On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five!

  • Always lay the blame on others!' 'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five.

  • 'I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

  • 'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

  • 'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

  • 'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for bringing the cook

  • tulip-roots instead of onions.'

  • Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust things--'

  • when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked

  • himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

  • 'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting those

  • roses?'

  • Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.

  • Two began in a low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been

  • a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it

  • out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know.

  • So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five,

  • who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen!

  • The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their

  • faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and

  • Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

  • First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three

  • gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten

  • courtiers; these were ornamented all over

  • with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did.

  • After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came

  • jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with

  • hearts.

  • Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the

  • White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that

  • was said, and went by without noticing her.

  • Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet

  • cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF

  • HEARTS.

  • Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three

  • gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions;

  • 'and besides, what would be the use of a

  • procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that

  • they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, and

  • waited.

  • When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the

  • Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who

  • only bowed and smiled in reply.

  • 'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice, she

  • went on, 'What's your name, child?'

  • 'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she added, to

  • herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all.

  • I needn't be afraid of them!'

  • 'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were

  • lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the

  • pattern on their backs was the same as the

  • rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers,

  • or courtiers, or three of her own children. 'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised

  • at her own courage.

  • 'It's no business of MINE.' The Queen turned crimson with fury, and,

  • after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head!

  • Off--'

  • 'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

  • The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my dear: she is

  • only a child!'

  • The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them over!'

  • The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

  • 'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly

  • jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and

  • everybody else.

  • 'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.'

  • And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?'

  • 'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee

  • as he spoke, 'we were trying--' 'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile

  • been examining the roses.

  • 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining

  • behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

  • 'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that

  • stood near.

  • The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then

  • quietly marched off after the others. 'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

  • 'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

  • 'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'

  • The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant

  • for her. 'Yes!' shouted Alice.

  • 'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very

  • much what would happen next. 'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid

  • voice at her side.

  • She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

  • 'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?'

  • 'Hush!

  • Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone.

  • He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe,

  • put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered 'She's under sentence of

  • execution.'

  • 'What for?' said Alice. 'Did you say "What a pity!"

  • ?' the Rabbit asked. 'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think

  • it's at all a pity.

  • I said "What for?"' 'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit

  • began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter.

  • 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone.

  • 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the

  • Queen said--'

  • 'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began

  • running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got

  • settled down in a minute or two, and the game began.

  • Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was

  • all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and

  • the soldiers had to double themselves up

  • and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

  • The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded

  • in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its

  • legs hanging down, but generally, just as

  • she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a

  • blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a

  • puzzled expression that she could not help

  • bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin

  • again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was

  • in the act of crawling away: besides all

  • this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the

  • hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking

  • off to other parts of the ground, Alice

  • soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

  • The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the

  • while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a

  • furious passion, and went stamping about,

  • and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' about once in a minute.

  • Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute

  • with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, 'and then,' thought she,

  • 'what would become of me?

  • They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any

  • one left alive!'

  • She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get

  • away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled

  • her very much at first, but, after watching

  • it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself 'It's the

  • Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.'

  • 'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to

  • speak with. Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and

  • then nodded.

  • 'It's no use speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at least one

  • of them.'

  • In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and

  • began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her.

  • The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of

  • it appeared.

  • 'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complaining tone,

  • 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak--and they don't

  • seem to have any rules in particular; at

  • least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how confusing it

  • is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go

  • through next walking about at the other end

  • of the ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran

  • away when it saw mine coming!' 'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat

  • in a low voice.

  • 'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed that the

  • Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, '--likely to win, that it's

  • hardly worth while finishing the game.'

  • The Queen smiled and passed on. 'Who ARE you talking to?' said the King,

  • going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

  • 'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me to introduce it.'

  • 'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, it may kiss my hand if

  • it likes.'

  • 'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. 'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and

  • don't look at me like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.

  • 'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice.

  • 'I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where.'

  • 'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen,

  • who was passing at the moment, 'My dear!

  • I wish you would have this cat removed!' The Queen had only one way of settling all

  • difficulties, great or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even

  • looking round.

  • 'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.

  • Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as she

  • heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion.

  • She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having

  • missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was

  • in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not.

  • So she went in search of her hedgehog.

  • The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an

  • excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only difficulty

  • was, that her flamingo was gone across to

  • the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of

  • way to fly up into a tree.

  • By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and

  • both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, 'as

  • all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.'

  • So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back

  • for a little more conversation with her friend.

  • When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd

  • collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the King,

  • and the Queen, who were all talking at

  • once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.

  • The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and

  • they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she

  • found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

  • The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a

  • body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he

  • wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.

  • The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you

  • weren't to talk nonsense.

  • The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time

  • she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the

  • whole party look so grave and anxious.)

  • Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to the Duchess: you'd

  • better ask HER about it.' 'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the

  • executioner: 'fetch her here.'

  • And the executioner went off like an arrow.

  • The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the time he had come

  • back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and the

  • executioner ran wildly up and down looking

  • for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.

  • >

  • Chapter IX. The Mock Turtle's Story

  • 'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' said the

  • Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they

  • walked off together.

  • Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself

  • that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when they met in the

  • kitchen.

  • 'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though), 'I

  • won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL.

  • Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-

  • tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule,

  • 'and vinegar that makes them sour--and

  • camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and such things that make

  • children sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they

  • wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--'

  • She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled when she

  • heard her voice close to her ear. 'You're thinking about something, my dear,

  • and that makes you forget to talk.

  • I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'

  • 'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.

  • 'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess.

  • 'Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.'

  • And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke.

  • Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was VERY

  • ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin upon

  • Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin.

  • However, she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.

  • 'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the

  • conversation a little.

  • ''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that

  • makes the world go round!"'

  • 'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding their own

  • business!' 'Ah, well!

  • It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into

  • Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense,

  • and the sounds will take care of themselves."'

  • 'How fond she is of finding morals in things!'

  • Alice thought to herself.

  • 'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the Duchess

  • said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of your

  • flamingo.

  • Shall I try the experiment?' 'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied,

  • not feeling at all anxious to have the experiment tried.

  • 'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite.

  • And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."'

  • 'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

  • 'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you have of putting things!'

  • 'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

  • 'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything that

  • Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near here.

  • And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours."'

  • 'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, 'it's a

  • vegetable.

  • It doesn't look like one, but it is.'

  • 'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that is--"Be what you

  • would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to

  • be otherwise than what it might appear to

  • others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had

  • been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'

  • 'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if I had it

  • written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'

  • 'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in a pleased

  • tone. 'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any

  • longer than that,' said Alice.

  • 'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess.

  • 'I make you a present of everything I've said as yet.'

  • 'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice.

  • 'I'm glad they don't give birthday presents like that!'

  • But she did not venture to say it out loud. 'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with

  • another dig of her sharp little chin.

  • 'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a

  • little worried. 'Just about as much right,' said the

  • Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and the m--'

  • But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even in the

  • middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers began to

  • tremble.

  • Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,

  • frowning like a thunderstorm. 'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess

  • began in a low, weak voice.

  • 'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;

  • 'either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time!

  • Take your choice!'

  • The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

  • 'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much frightened

  • to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground.

  • The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were resting in the

  • shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, the Queen

  • merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost them their lives.

  • All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the other

  • players, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!'

  • Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had

  • to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there

  • were no arches left, and all the players,

  • except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.

  • Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, 'Have you seen

  • the Mock Turtle yet?'

  • 'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

  • 'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.

  • 'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.

  • 'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his history,'

  • As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company

  • generally, 'You are all pardoned.'

  • 'Come, THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at

  • the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

  • They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun.

  • (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)

  • 'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and

  • to hear his history.

  • I must go back and see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked

  • off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon.

  • Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it

  • would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she

  • waited.

  • The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till she was out

  • of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to

  • itself, half to Alice.

  • 'What IS the fun?' said Alice. 'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'It's all her fancy, that: they never executes nobody, you know.

  • Come on!'

  • 'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after it: 'I

  • never was so ordered about in all my life, never!'

  • They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad

  • and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him

  • sighing as if his heart would break.

  • She pitied him deeply.

  • 'What is his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very

  • nearly in the same words as before, 'It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no

  • sorrow, you know.

  • Come on!' So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who

  • looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

  • 'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to know your history, she

  • do.'

  • 'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of

  • you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.'

  • So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes.

  • Alice thought to herself, 'I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.'

  • But she waited patiently.

  • 'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real Turtle.'

  • These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional

  • exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock

  • Turtle.

  • Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your

  • interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she

  • sat still and said nothing.

  • 'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still

  • sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to school in the sea.

  • The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--'

  • 'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?'

  • Alice asked.

  • 'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: 'really

  • you are very dull!'

  • 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added the

  • Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to

  • sink into the earth.

  • At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow!

  • Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:

  • 'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--'

  • 'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again.

  • The Mock Turtle went on. 'We had the best of educations--in fact, we

  • went to school every day--'

  • 'I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you needn't be so proud as all

  • that.' 'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a

  • little anxiously.

  • 'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'

  • 'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

  • 'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of

  • great relief. 'Now at OURS they had at the end of the

  • bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'

  • 'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the bottom of the sea.'

  • 'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.

  • 'I only took the regular course.'

  • 'What was that?' inquired Alice.

  • 'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'and then

  • the different branches of Arithmetic-- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and

  • Derision.'

  • 'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.

  • 'What is it?' The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in

  • surprise.

  • 'What! Never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed.

  • 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?' 'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means--

  • to--make--anything--prettier.'

  • 'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a

  • simpleton.'

  • Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to

  • the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?'

  • 'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his

  • flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling--the

  • Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that

  • used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in

  • Coils.' 'What was THAT like?' said Alice.

  • 'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too stiff.

  • And the Gryphon never learnt it.' 'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to

  • the Classics master, though.

  • He was an old crab, HE was.' 'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said

  • with a sigh: 'he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'

  • 'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both creatures hid

  • their faces in their paws.

  • 'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change

  • the subject. 'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock

  • Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'

  • 'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. 'That's the reason they're called lessons,'

  • the Gryphon remarked: 'because they lessen from day to day.'

  • This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she made

  • her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day must have been a

  • holiday?'

  • 'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. 'And how did you manage on the twelfth?'

  • Alice went on eagerly.

  • 'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell

  • her something about the games now.'

  • >

  • Chapter X. The Lobster Quadrille The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the

  • back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but

  • for a minute or two sobs choked his voice.

  • 'Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work

  • shaking him and punching him in the back.

  • At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his

  • cheeks, he went on again:--

  • 'You may not have lived much under the sea- -' ('I haven't,' said Alice)--'and perhaps

  • you were never even introduced to a lobster--' (Alice began to say 'I once

  • tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and

  • said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster

  • Quadrille is!' 'No, indeed,' said Alice.

  • 'What sort of a dance is it?'

  • 'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the sea-shore--'

  • 'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out

  • of the way--' 'THAT generally takes some time,'

  • interrupted the Gryphon.

  • '--you advance twice--' 'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried

  • the Gryphon. 'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance

  • twice, set to partners--'

  • '--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.

  • 'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the--'

  • 'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

  • '--as far out to sea as you can--' 'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

  • 'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.

  • 'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

  • 'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle,

  • suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like

  • mad things all this time, sat down again

  • very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

  • 'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

  • 'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Very much indeed,' said Alice. 'Come, let's try the first figure!' said

  • the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.

  • 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?'

  • 'Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the words.'

  • So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on

  • her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time,

  • while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:--

  • '"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.

  • "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.

  • See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!

  • They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

  • "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up

  • and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"

  • But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance-- Said he thanked

  • the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.

  • Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.

  • Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

  • '"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.

  • "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

  • The further off from England the nearer is to France-- Then turn not pale, beloved

  • snail, but come and join the dance.

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"'

  • 'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very glad

  • that it was over at last: 'and I do so like that curious song about the whiting!'

  • 'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've seen them, of

  • course?' 'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at

  • dinn--' she checked herself hastily.

  • 'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you've seen them so

  • often, of course you know what they're like.'

  • 'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully.

  • 'They have their tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'

  • 'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs would all wash off in

  • the sea.

  • But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle

  • yawned and shut his eyes. --'Tell her about the reason and all that,'

  • he said to the Gryphon.

  • 'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they WOULD go with the lobsters to the

  • dance. So they got thrown out to sea.

  • So they had to fall a long way.

  • So they got their tails fast in their mouths.

  • So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'

  • 'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting.

  • I never knew so much about a whiting before.'

  • 'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?' 'I never thought about it,' said Alice.

  • 'Why?'

  • 'IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

  • Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in

  • a wondering tone.

  • 'Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon.

  • 'I mean, what makes them so shiny?' Alice looked down at them, and considered a

  • little before she gave her answer.

  • 'They're done with blacking, I believe.' 'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the

  • Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 'are done with a whiting.

  • Now you know.'

  • 'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.

  • 'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: 'any shrimp

  • could have told you that.'

  • 'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the

  • song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'

  • 'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: 'no wise fish would

  • go anywhere without a porpoise.' 'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone

  • of great surprise.

  • 'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he

  • was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"'

  • 'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

  • 'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.

  • And the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'

  • 'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said Alice a little

  • timidly: 'but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person

  • then.'

  • 'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. 'No, no!

  • The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 'explanations take such

  • a dreadful time.'

  • So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White

  • Rabbit.

  • She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so close to

  • her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she

  • gained courage as she went on.

  • Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating 'YOU

  • ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming

  • different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a

  • long breath, and said 'That's very curious.'

  • 'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully.

  • 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something now.

  • Tell her to begin.'

  • He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.

  • 'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.

  • 'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice; 'I

  • might as well be at school at once.'

  • However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster

  • Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer

  • indeed:--

  • ''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,

  • "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."

  • As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose

  • Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'

  • [later editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry,

  • he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous

  • tones of the Shark,

  • But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,

  • His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

  • 'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds uncommon

  • nonsense.'

  • Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if

  • anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.

  • 'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily.

  • 'Go on with the next verse.'

  • 'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted.

  • 'How COULD he turn them out with his nose, you know?'

  • 'It's the first position in dancing.'

  • Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the

  • subject.

  • 'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it begins "I passed

  • by his garden."'

  • Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she

  • went on in a trembling voice:--

  • 'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,

  • How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'

  • [later editions continued as follows The Panther took pie-crust,

  • and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish

  • as its share of the treat.

  • When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,

  • Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:

  • While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,

  • And concluded the banquet--]

  • 'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, 'if

  • you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever

  • heard!'

  • 'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to

  • do so. 'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster

  • Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on.

  • 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'

  • 'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so

  • eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 'Hm!

  • No accounting for tastes!

  • Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'

  • The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to

  • sing this:--

  • 'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen!

  • Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

  • Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

  • Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

  • Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

  • 'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,

  • Game, or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two

  • Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

  • Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

  • Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

  • Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'

  • 'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it,

  • when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance.

  • 'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without

  • waiting for the end of the song. 'What trial is it?'

  • Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!' and ran the

  • faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them,

  • the melancholy words:--

  • 'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

  • >

  • Chapter XI. Who Stole the Tarts?

  • The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a

  • great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little birds and beasts, as well as the

  • whole pack of cards: the Knave was standing

  • before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him; and near the King

  • was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the

  • other.

  • In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it:

  • they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them--'I wish

  • they'd get the trial done,' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!'

  • But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about

  • her, to pass away the time.

  • Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them in

  • books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything

  • there.

  • 'That's the judge,' she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'

  • The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, (look at

  • the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all

  • comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.

  • 'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,' (she was

  • obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were animals, and some

  • were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors.'

  • She said this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it:

  • for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the

  • meaning of it at all.

  • However, 'jury-men' would have done just as well.

  • The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.

  • 'What are they doing?'

  • Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put down yet,

  • before the trial's begun.'

  • 'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for fear they

  • should forget them before the end of the trial.'

  • 'Stupid things!'

  • Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit

  • cried out, 'Silence in the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked

  • anxiously round, to make out who was talking.

  • Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all the

  • jurors were writing down 'stupid things!' on their slates, and she could even make

  • out that one of them didn't know how to

  • spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him.

  • 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!' thought Alice.

  • One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked.

  • This of course, Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind

  • him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it away.

  • She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not

  • make out at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was

  • obliged to write with one finger for the

  • rest of the day; and this was of very little use, as it left no mark on the

  • slate. 'Herald, read the accusation!' said the

  • King.

  • On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the

  • parchment scroll, and read as follows:--

  • 'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:

  • The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them quite away!'

  • 'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.

  • 'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted.

  • 'There's a great deal to come before that!'

  • 'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on

  • the trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!'

  • The first witness was the Hatter.

  • He came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other.

  • 'I beg pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite

  • finished my tea when I was sent for.'

  • 'You ought to have finished,' said the King.

  • 'When did you begin?'

  • The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm

  • with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it was,' he

  • said.

  • 'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. 'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

  • 'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all

  • three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to

  • shillings and pence.

  • 'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.

  • 'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

  • 'Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum

  • of the fact. 'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as

  • an explanation; 'I've none of my own.

  • I'm a hatter.' Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and

  • began staring at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.

  • 'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed

  • on the spot.'

  • This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one foot to

  • the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece

  • out of his teacup instead of the bread-and- butter.

  • Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a good

  • deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to grow larger again, and she

  • thought at first she would get up and leave

  • the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as

  • there was room for her. 'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the

  • Dormouse, who was sitting next to her.

  • 'I can hardly breathe.' 'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly:

  • 'I'm growing.' 'You've no right to grow here,' said the

  • Dormouse.

  • 'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing too.'

  • 'Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous

  • fashion.'

  • And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.

  • All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the

  • Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the

  • list of the singers in the last concert!'

  • on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

  • 'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you executed,

  • whether you're nervous or not.'

  • 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, '--and I

  • hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the bread-and-butter

  • getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--'

  • 'The twinkling of the what?' said the King. 'It began with the tea,' the Hatter

  • replied.

  • 'Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.

  • 'Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'

  • 'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after that--only the

  • March Hare said--' 'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a

  • great hurry.

  • 'You did!' said the Hatter. 'I deny it!' said the March Hare.

  • 'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'

  • 'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking anxiously round

  • to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

  • 'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter--'

  • 'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

  • 'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

  • 'You MUST remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.'

  • The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on one

  • knee.

  • 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began. 'You're a very poor speaker,' said the

  • King.

  • Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers

  • of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just

  • explain to you how it was done.

  • They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into this they

  • slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.)

  • 'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice.

  • 'I've so often read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts

  • at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court,"

  • and I never understood what it meant till now.'

  • 'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the King.

  • 'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is.'

  • 'Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was

  • suppressed.

  • 'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice.

  • 'Now we shall get on better.'

  • 'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen,

  • who was reading the list of singers.

  • 'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without even

  • waiting to put his shoes on.

  • '--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the officers: but the

  • Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.

  • 'Call the next witness!' said the King.

  • The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand, and

  • Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people

  • near the door began sneezing all at once.

  • 'Give your evidence,' said the King. 'Shan't,' said the cook.

  • The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 'Your

  • Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'

  • 'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, after folding

  • his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a

  • deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?'

  • 'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. 'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

  • 'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out.

  • 'Behead that Dormouse!

  • Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him!

  • Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!'

  • For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out,

  • and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.

  • 'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.

  • 'Call the next witness.'

  • And he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine

  • the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!'

  • Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very curious

  • to see what the next witness would be like, '--for they haven't got much evidence YET,'

  • she said to herself.

  • Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little

  • voice, the name 'Alice!'

  • >

  • Chapter XII. Alice's Evidence

  • 'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had

  • grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped

  • over the jury-box with the edge of her

  • skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they

  • lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had

  • accidentally upset the week before.

  • 'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking

  • them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running

  • in her head, and she had a vague sort of

  • idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they

  • would die.

  • 'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the

  • jurymen are back in their proper places-- ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis,

  • looking hard at Alice as he said do.

  • Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in

  • head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy

  • way, being quite unable to move.

  • She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she

  • said to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way

  • up as the other.'

  • As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their

  • slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very

  • diligently to write out a history of the

  • accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit

  • with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

  • 'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.

  • 'Nothing,' said Alice. 'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.

  • 'Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

  • 'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.

  • They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit

  • interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very

  • respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.

  • 'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an

  • undertone,

  • 'important--unimportant--unimportant-- important--' as if he were trying which

  • word sounded best. Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,'

  • and some 'unimportant.'

  • Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; 'but it

  • doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself.

  • At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book,

  • cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two.

  • ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'

  • Everybody looked at Alice. 'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.

  • 'You are,' said the King.

  • 'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. 'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said

  • Alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'

  • 'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.

  • 'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.

  • The King turned pale, and shut his note- book hastily.

  • 'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.

  • 'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White Rabbit,

  • jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked up.'

  • 'What's in it?' said the Queen.

  • 'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter,

  • written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'

  • 'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which

  • isn't usual, you know.' 'Who is it directed to?' said one of the

  • jurymen.

  • 'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's nothing written

  • on the OUTSIDE.'

  • He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a

  • set of verses.' 'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?'

  • asked another of the jurymen.

  • 'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing about it.'

  • (The jury all looked puzzled.) 'He must have imitated somebody else's

  • hand,' said the King.

  • (The jury all brightened up again.) 'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I

  • didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'

  • 'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter worse.

  • You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an honest

  • man.'

  • There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing

  • the King had said that day. 'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.

  • 'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice.

  • 'Why, you don't even know what they're about!'

  • 'Read them,' said the King.

  • The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?'

  • he asked.

  • 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the

  • end: then stop.' These were the verses the White Rabbit

  • read:--

  • 'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him:

  • She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.

  • He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true):

  • If she should push the matter on, What would become of you?

  • I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or more;

  • They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine before.

  • If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair,

  • He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.

  • My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit)

  • An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.

  • Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever be

  • A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and me.'

  • 'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the King,

  • rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'

  • 'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last

  • few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence.

  • _I_ don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'

  • The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an atom of

  • meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.

  • 'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of trouble, you

  • know, as we needn't try to find any.

  • And yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and

  • looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all.

  • "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.

  • The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said.

  • (Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)

  • 'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to

  • himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of course--"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY

  • GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'

  • 'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.

  • 'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the

  • table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT.

  • Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said

  • to the Queen. 'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing

  • an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke.

  • (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he

  • found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was

  • trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)

  • 'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a smile.

  • There was a dead silence.

  • 'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 'Let the jury

  • consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.

  • 'No, no!' said the Queen.

  • 'Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' 'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly.

  • 'The idea of having the sentence first!' 'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning

  • purple.

  • 'I won't!' said Alice. 'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at

  • the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

  • 'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.)

  • 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'

  • At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she

  • gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off,

  • and found herself lying on the bank, with

  • her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that

  • had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.

  • 'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've had!'

  • 'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as

  • she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been

  • reading about; and when she had finished,

  • her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run

  • in to your tea; it's getting late.'

  • So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a

  • wonderful dream it had been.

  • But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching

  • the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures,

  • till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--

  • First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped

  • upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers--she could hear

  • the very tones of her voice, and see that

  • queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD always get

  • into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around

  • her became alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream.

  • The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the frightened

  • Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she could hear the

  • rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and

  • his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering

  • off her unfortunate guests to execution-- once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the

  • Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes

  • crashed around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's

  • slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air,

  • mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.

  • So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she

  • knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality--the grass

  • would be only rustling in the wind, and the

  • pool rippling to the waving of the reeds-- the rattling teacups would change to

  • tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd

  • boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek

  • of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the

  • confused clamour of the busy farm-yard-- while the lowing of the cattle in the

  • distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs.

  • Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the

  • after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper

  • years, the simple and loving heart of her

  • childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make THEIR

  • eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of

  • Wonderland of long ago: and how she would

  • feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,

  • remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

  • THE END

  • >

Chapter I. Down the Rabbit-Hole

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