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  • Hey, this is Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday and today’s question comes from Shauna and

  • she writes,

  • Hi Marie, I've been beating myself up because I haven't made a lot of progress in my business

  • for a very long and humiliating time. I finally discovered a huge reason that I'm not moving

  • forward and it’s because I'm afraid of the "trappings" of success. You see, FREEDOM is

  • my number one value and I'm afraid that becoming successful will overwhelm me and take away

  • my freedom, instead of giving me more. This fear paralyzes me and even though I'm not

  • handling much right now, I'm already feeling overwhelmed and tired.

  • Any thoughts, tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated.

  • Shauna P.S. You effin ROCK!! ;-)

  • You effin rock too Shauna.

  • So, Shauna, this is an awesome question. I know many people, millions of people, struggle

  • with this including myself. I’ve often had that same belief that more success could equal

  • less freedom and it’s not a great feeling to have.

  • And to help answer today’s question, I’ve brought one of my very dear friends, Dr. Cathy

  • Collautt is here with us today. And youre gonna love Dr. Cathy because not only is she

  • amazingly smart (she’s an Oxford grad) but she is a metaphysician and manifesting consultant.

  • And what that means is she helps people create powerful, lasting change in their lives; and

  • one of the ways that she does that is through working with the power of the subconscious

  • mind.

  • Ooh this is so good woman, this is so good. Thank you so much first of all for...

  • So happy to be here.

  • ...being on MarieTV. So it sounds like Shauna is having a little bit of trouble between

  • what she  consciously wants, which is growing her business, and it sounds like she has a

  • fear of success. Is that what you heard?

  • Definitely sounds that way. Right? So it we can hear the tension or the MAJOR conflict

  • between her conscious goal (building a successful business) and her SUBCONSCIOUS fears about

  • how that might limit her freedom.

  • So Cathy, tell us why our subconscious minds have so much power over us.

  • Well, the reason is it’s estimated that approximately about 3% of your processing

  • power is your conscious mind. The rest of it, the other 97%, subconscious, autonomic,

  • automaticyou don’t think about how you digest food, you don’t normally think

  • about how you breathe, all your habits go on automatic pilot, so by far, our greatest

  • processing powerhouse is our subconscious mind. Scientists will tell you that the power

  • of the subconscious is perhaps a million times greater than the conscious mind.

  • That’s amazing. A million times greater.

  • Yeah. And the point of that is not to say that your ego and your will are weak - they

  • are extremely powerful; the point is to recognize that that as powerful as they are, there exists

  • an asset within us that is even more powerful than that.

  • So that’s why I work with the subconscious mind and why I encourage other people to get

  • their subconscious mind onboard in trying to make what they want happen in their lives.

  • We normally try to make what we want happen through our conscious determination and our

  • ego and oursweat, blood and tears’ – which is tough going as is.

  • Right. And I’m very familiar with that, which youve helped me with.

  • Right. But especially when it’s going over and against something in the other 97%, it

  • becomes a task of Sisyphean proportions. You remember Sisyphus, right? The king in Greek

  • mythology who was punished to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill only to watch

  • it roll back down again?

  • Right.

  • So this is a version of what Shauna is experiencing:

  • Her sub... rather, her conscious mind might be saying: ‘I want success!’ Hopefully

  • it is also saying ‘I am worthy of success.’ But if something in the other 97% say thinks

  • otherwise, ‘I don’t want success.’ - that’s what she’s going to be getting or manifesting.

  • At minimum she’s gonna find her somewhere on that Sisyphean mountain trying to push

  • her boulder named success up to the top, or prevent the back-slide.

  • So Cathy, if your subconscious mind is that powerful, it almost seems like it’s the

  • boss, and like Shauna would almost need like herboss’s” approval to sign off on

  • something that she wants. Is that right?

  • I see why you would say that: because at a power a million times greater than the conscious

  • mind, it’s clear who’s gonna win. Right? But the truth is that Shauna is meant to be

  • the boss. She’s meant to be, you know, she’s meant to manage this asset, this most effective,

  • powerful, and efficient employee by giving it good and clear direction. So if you think

  • of your subconscious as a computer: you understand that it’s going to take its programming

  • and run with it. And it’s your job to make sure that its programming is in functional,

  • if not optimal, alignment with your goals. And you do this by programming, re-programming

  • and de-bugging, at regular intervals and in concert with those goals as you become aware

  • of them, as they change, and so on.

  • So the great news is that once you get your subconsciousonboard’, that Sisyphean

  • mountain turns into a molehill. Much likeinstitutingyour habitsyou don't

  • actually even institute them. It doesn’t take a lot of thought, it doesn’t take a

  • lot of effort, you just kinda do them.  That’s the power of your subconscious mind and that’s

  • the power of the asset that we were all born with. And your job, as president and CEO of

  • yourself and your life, is to get the most out of this most dependable and capable employee

  • you will ever have at your disposal. So it’s much less aboutasking for permission

  • than it is about gaining mastery and being adept.

  • Cathy, this is so exciting and I love talking about this with you. So it sounds like that

  • Shauna really can get her subconscious mind in alignment with her conscious goals. And

  • I know, because you and I have worked together and how brilliant you are, that you give people

  • very clear steps. So can you share with us the clear steps to help get your subconscious

  • mind in alignment with your conscious goals?

  • Sure. So step 1, after you recognize the resistance, is to be humble. Don’t assume you know anything,

  • let alone everything, about your resistance; you wanna trust the subconscious long enough

  • to learn from it. You wanna trust that it has something intelligent and wise to say.

  • Because it does. Shauna’s, for example, is reminding her of her non-negotiable desire

  • for freedom.

  • Cathy, I love that. So in essence, what youre saying is it’s about listening to the wisdom

  • that we can find in our resistance. Is that right?

  • Mmhm.

  • Ok, awesome. So what’s step 2?

  • So step 2 is to get specific. What is the fear or fears exactly? What are the associations

  • with having or getting what you want? What exactly is it that the subconscious is looking

  • out for? You wanna interview your subconscious like you would anybody youre trying to

  • get information from, which is with genuine curiosity and compassion. You wanna let it

  • make its case! You want to hear its case because there is priceless wisdom in it and information

  • in there for you. So it’s not enough, for example, for Shauna to know that she’s afraid

  • of the trappings of success, much lessafraid of success’ (in general). She wants to know:

  • Whattrappingsspecifically? What freedoms in particular does she think she’s gonna

  • have to sacrifice for success?  Is it more projects? Is it more people depending on her?

  • This will tell her MORE about what she wants.

  • So step 2 is to get details, and applaud whatever you find. Applaud it before you judge it.

  • Because you, you know, what you normally associate with you, is by far not the smartest thing

  • within you.

  • The next step, step 3, would then be to make a promise. Right? You want to set the intention

  • to work it out with your subconscious - not to work against it.

  • I love that!

  • So Shauna’s fear is saying to her, “Look, I’m afraid that if you become successful,

  • youre going to be tied to your desk, youre gonna be on the phone all day, youre gonna

  • be even more stressed out and strapped out, have no fun, have no time for family and friends

  • and love and everything else you want in life.” Shauna can make her fear a non-issue by making

  • a promise. “Listen friend, I hear you, I understand what youre saying, and I really

  • appreciate you looking out. If greater success means greater strain, more exhaustion, having

  • less freedom and time for myself in my life, I WON’T DO IT. I will only do it if that’s

  • not what it means. I promise.” And then, of course, she wants to be a good partner-in-crime

  • for herself to rely on, which means to keep her promise. But in any case, by making this

  • promise, you see, the tension is dissipated and it makes space for herself and her subconscious

  • to open up to the idea of success and to pursuing it.

  • Cathy this is so delicious and I’m just... I like, I wanna eat you up right now. What

  • I’m hearing you say is through making the promise it’s about honoring what’s truly

  • important to ourselves and making a commitment to ourselves to really honor that wisdom and

  • honor what we truly want in our lives. So what’s step 4?

  • Step 4 is to get examples. So evidently Shauna’s subconscious has a lot of negative examples

  • about what happens when you become successful. She wants to dowse her subconscious in positive

  • examples and case studies: people whose lives have improved as a result of their success

  • in business, people whose freedom has increased as a result of their success; people who have

  • built successful businesses and have more time to do what they love. Marie is a great

  • example in this respect! I mean, it’s part of the mission statement to help women live

  • Rich, Happy and Hot! Right? The complete opposite ofoverworked, exhausted, and crushed by

  • the weight of their duties, obligations, and desk.’

  • So she wants to find examples, it can be people she knows, people she doesn't know, famous

  • peopleit doesn’t matter. The point is to let the subconscious know it’s possible,

  • to let it know that it is possible to marry or to satisfy all sides of her heart and mind.

  • The subconscious will do anything that you tell it is possible. So the more examples

  • that she finds and gives, the more she encourages and reinforces the ideathis is definitely

  • possible’, and lets her subconscious know what it’s working towards.

  • Ooh! This is getting better and better. Do we have... so we have one more step to go?

  • Right?

  • One more step.

  • Step 5?

  • Step 5 is to solidify and affirm: so the more you ingrain your new perspective in your subconscious,

  • the more you can capitalize on its power and its resources to facilitate and even to execute

  • towards your goal on your behalf. Which of course right means it’s easier to materialize,

  • to manifest it, to get what you want. So a good affirmation for Shauna is: “Success

  • increases my freedom in life.”

  • I love that. Success increases my freedom in life.

  • Right.

  • Perfect for all of us.

  • And more than an affirmation, because an affirmation, right, it implies a kind of I have to defend

  • or I’m proving something, and so there’s an element of doubt. You really want to think

  • about it like a reminder - it is a reminder, it’s a reminder of what is possible. It

  • will also serve as a reminder of the road, the only road in light of the promise that

  • she’s made above, that she is taking. She wants to repeat it as often as feels good

  • to her; but before you fall asleep, right before you fall asleep, right upon waking,

  • and during/after meditation are some of the best times to access the subconscious mind.

  • I love this, you just told us how to completely reprogram or get in alignment our subconscious

  • mind with what we want. I think this is just genius and I just want to say, a personal

  • testament to your work. That you and I have known each other for years, I’ve worked

  • with you in several different capacities, but this stuff works. I will tell you that

  • I’ve worked with Cathy on a number of different occasions and it is so amazing what happens

  • when you approach yourself in this gentle way because that’s one of the things that

  • I really love about what you teach, is it’s not about fighting yourself and it’s not

  • about force or pushing through. It’s about gentle introspection and it’s a really wise

  • way to approach getting what you want. I just think it’s genius.

  • And capitalizing on the wisdom that exists within you, which isn’t just your ego and

  • your consciousness. Youre brilliant, there’s a lot of power there, there’s a lot of intelligence

  • there, but you can also make use of a greater amount of wisdom and insight that’s within

  • you too. So that’s why I work that way, yeah.

  • I love it. Ok, so for everyone watching let’s review from the top our five steps to reprogramming...

  • is that an ok phrase to call it?

  • Yeah. Getting your conscious on board.

  • On board with our conscious goals. So step 1?

  • Step 1 is to... after you recognize, is to be humble.

  • Be humble. Awesome. Step 2?

  • Get specific.

  • Get specific, so we wanna get the specific details about what that fear is and really

  • interview our subconscious and know specifically what those fears are. Step 3?

  • Step 3 is to make a promise.

  • So make a commitment to yourself that youre not gonna go there if it’s gonna mean all

  • those bad things that perhaps you were afraid of. Youre only gonna get the thing that

  • you want in the way that’s gonna feel the best for you and it’s gonna be in alignment.

  • Right.

  • Step 4?

  • Step 4 is to find examples.

  • Find examples, so...

  • Exemplary examples.

  • Exemplary examples, I love that, that’s really key. So really look around, and we

  • can look around to anyone whether it’s figures in history, someone we know, someone we don't

  • know.

  • You can even be the first example on this planet to do it that way. And I really do

  • encourage people to do so so that they provide an example for the rest of us.

  • Very cool. So that was step 4, and step 5?

  • Step 5 is to solidify and affirm.

  • Solidify and affirm, and you said some of the best times to do that are before we go

  • to bed or after/before meditation.

  • Yup, or right upon waking.

  • Awesome. Very, very good. Cathy, this was amazing! I could listen to you all day and

  • I’m sure that were gonna have you back on MarieTV. So thank you so much for being

  • here and for helping Shauna and for helping all of us.

  • Thank you so much. My absolute pleasure.

  • So now Cathy and I would love to hear from you.

  • We wanna know: Have you ever had a fear of success? Or a fear of anything? And tell us,

  • what is that fear really reminding you of that you really, really want? What’s the

  • wisdom contained in that fear?

  • And remember, the best discussions always happen after the episode at MarieForleo.com.

  • And were both gonna be looking out for your answers in the comments, so leave a comment

  • there.

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  • Stay on your game, keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special gift

  • that only YOU have.  Thank you so much for watching MarieTV and I’ll catch you next

  • time!

Hey, this is Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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