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  • -Oh, hi. Today's Friday.

  • That's usually when I meditate a little bit

  • and kind of clear my head over this long, stressful week.

  • It's also kind of great to embrace the quiet

  • and embrace -- [ Laughing ]

  • -Yeah, yeah, Da-da! Yeah, yeah! [ Laughing ]

  • -All new "Tonight Show: At Home Edition" starts now.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughing continues ]

  • You have lost -- you're upside down.

  • You're upside down. [ Laughing ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Hi, everybody. What a long week it's kind of been.

  • But thank you so much for tuning in and watching our show

  • and giving to all these great charities.

  • A couple people have asked if I am giving

  • to these charities as well, and, yes, my family is donating

  • to every charity that we've mentioned

  • so far during these shows.

  • And thank you so much. Every amount counts.

  • So I really appreciate that.

  • And, man, it's been a really interesting week.

  • Day 15, is it?

  • Day 15, and I just want to say first off, Hoda,

  • I feel you, buddy.

  • And everyone's just showing their creative ways of dealing

  • with this and being so kind to each other out there.

  • And I want to say thank you for that.

  • I miss my crew and everybody back at the show.

  • But everyone helping us here, I am so proud of this team.

  • Thank you, everyone involved in "The Tonight Show,"

  • and thank you to my neighbors, by the way.

  • I've been getting a bunch of drawings from kids

  • saying that -- what their favorite bits are

  • and thanking me for doing the show.

  • And today I got an edible arrangement.

  • I didn't even know they do this.

  • It was just a box of vegetables.

  • I didn't know they do that. It wasn't arranged at all.

  • It was really nice, fresh vegetables from Anonymous,

  • from a neighbor that said,

  • "Thank you so much for the shows you're doing.

  • You're making us feel happier and calming me down,"

  • something like that.

  • Thank you for whoever sent that and didn't want credit.

  • I want to give you credit. Thank you so much for that.

  • I appreciate it.

  • Now I'd like to do some monologue jokes

  • that really go over -- they go over really well.

  • So here we go.

  • Should I -- maybe I'll walk in.

  • Hey, everybody.

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • -Whoo-hoo. -Well, it's Friday night

  • and the weekend is here.

  • If you're bummed that you're stuck inside, just imagine

  • that you have two brunches, a kid's birthday party,

  • and a dance recital to go to.

  • [ Imitates cheering ]

  • That is getting pots and pans banging everywhere.

  • People are applauding for that joke.

  • I really need to get out.

  • I watch so much TV that I've now memorized the entire

  • William Shatner sleep apnea commercial.

  • [ Imitates Shatner ] "William Shatner here.

  • You know, I've been using a CPAP machine

  • for over ten years and it's made a world of difference to me."

  • Seriously, though, I'm watching so much TV,

  • today I accidentally called my daughters Kendall and Kylie.

  • I'm so desperate to get outside,

  • when someone throws one item in the garbage,

  • I bag it up and take it out to the trash can.

  • BRB. Be right back.

  • I'm really running out of ways to stay entertained.

  • Last night I left our back door open and prayed

  • raccoons would come in.

  • Things are getting a little crazy at the house.

  • This afternoon I went into the bathroom and caught

  • my Roomba in the dark watching "Wall-E."

  • "Someone's in here."

  • My Roomba told me to knock.

  • I saw that Hallmark is giving away one million free cards

  • so people can send notes to loved ones.

  • That's really great because if there's one thing we need

  • right now, it's people touching licked envelopes.

  • And finally, I saw a poll that said men are less likely

  • to follow social distancing guidelines than women,

  • which means a year from now, the only people on Earth

  • will be four billion women and Dr. Fauci.

  • That's tonight's monologue. [ Laughter ]

  • I got a little camera shake there.

  • Tonight's guests are Tina Fey, who I just love.

  • I've known her forever now from "Saturday Night Live,"

  • and she used to write for me, then we were "Weekend Update"

  • partners, and then the rest is -- she's amazing.

  • I thank her so much. She's going to be talking

  • about cityharvest.org.

  • We're also going to talk to Chef Jose Andres,

  • who is just awesome.

  • He's on the cover of "Time" magazine right now

  • for what he's doing with World Central Kitchen,

  • wck.org. That's his charity.

  • And we'll be talking everything that he's going on.

  • I think he's going to be in his kitchen.

  • I want to quickly first give a congrats to our pal.

  • I don't know if you can see it here.

  • Kamal. Kamal had a baby boy.

  • -Kamal, whoo-hoo! -Kamal, we love you, guys!

  • -We love you! -Oh, my gosh!

  • Congratulations to the whole fam.

  • Beautiful baby boy.

  • That's the best news ever, man.

  • A baby just makes everyone happy.

  • So that is awesome, buddy. I miss you so much, Kamal.

  • I miss everyone in The Roots.

  • In fact, we got together and --

  • through Zoom and technology --

  • and made a little song because right now

  • I think everyone feels like we're a little stuck

  • in the middle.

  • Please enjoy.

  • -One, two, three, hit it.

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ Well, I don't know why I came here tonight

  • ♪ I got the feeling that something ain't right

  • ♪ I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair

  • And I wonder how I'll get down the stairs

  • Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right

  • Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

  • Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you

  • And I'm wondering what it is I should do

  • It's so hard to keep a smile on my face

  • Losing control, I'm all over the place

  • Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right

  • Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

  • Well, you started out with nothing

  • And you're proud that you're a self-made man

  • ♪♪

  • And your friends they all come crawling

  • Slap you on the back and say

  • Please ♪ ♪♪

  • Please

  • ♪♪

  • Well, I'm trying to make some sense of it all

  • But I can see it makes no sense at all

  • Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor

  • No, don't think I can take anymore

  • There are clowns to the left of me

  • Jokers to the right Here I am

  • Stuck in the middle with you

  • Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you

  • Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

  • ♪ 'Cause I'm ♪

  • Stuck in the middle with you

  • [ Song ends ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Hi, everybody. Welcome back to

  • "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • Today is Friday, and that's usually when I, you know,

  • check my inbox, return some emails.

  • And, of course, I send out thank-you notes.

  • And I have my buddies here helping me out today.

  • So I'd like to write out some thank-you notes right now.

  • If that's okay with you. -[ Fusses ]

  • -Okay, buddy. Frances --

  • -[ Fussing ]

  • Okay, Frances, you know your job, right?

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, showers,

  • for once being a routine part of my day

  • and now feeling like a major accomplishment.

  • ♪♪

  • [ Boos ]

  • [ Laughs ]

  • -[ Giggles ] -Um...

  • [ Boos ]

  • Thank you, getting food delivery,

  • for suddenly making me feel like I'm a spy

  • intercepting an elaborate drop.

  • "The hamburgers are in the hole."

  • [ Boos ]

  • "I repeat, the hamburgers are in the hole."

  • [ Boos ]

  • All right. Just press the purple one. That's good.

  • ♪♪ [ Boos ]

  • Thank you, journals, for now reading less like a diary

  • and more like a captain's log

  • after being lost at sea. [ Boos ]

  • All right. Here we go. Just the purple one.

  • Just this one. -I got that.

  • -Yep. -[ Giggles ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, socks, for being the new shoes.

  • You can pick up that one now.

  • ♪♪

  • -[ Shouting ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Who is that? -Just a stranger.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, journals,

  • for now reading less like a diary and more like

  • a captain's log after being lost at sea.

  • [ Drumming, light laughter ]

  • [ Drumming ]

  • That's good. You can go to the next one.

  • [ Drumming ] ♪♪

  • -It's definitely Friday around here.

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, making shows from home, for making me feel like

  • I got a promotion from talk show host

  • to YouTube star.

  • Don't forget to smash that like button.

  • Next one.

  • Thank you, couch, for really stepping up

  • during this difficult time to become a desk,

  • table, bed, bookshelf, and trash can.

  • Next one.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Dr. Anthony Fauci listening to Trump,

  • for looking like me when someone suggests

  • a 9:00 A.M. Zoom meeting.

  • ♪♪

  • [ Murmurs ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, 40-minute limit on free Zoom software.

  • Seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • 40 minutes is enough.

  • That's good.

  • Thank you, "welp,"

  • for being the official slogan of wrapping up a phone call

  • during quarantine.

  • Come on.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, virtual happy hours,

  • for being a great rebranding for drinking alone.

  • ♪♪

  • And that's our thank-you notes right there.

  • Thank you to Winnie. Thank you to Frannie.

  • And thank you to my wife for operating this camera.

  • We'll be right back with Tina Fey, everybody.

  • ♪♪

  • -I got to catch up with one of my favorite people today.

  • From her apartment in Manhattan, here is Tina Fey.

  • Tina Fey, welcome to "The Tonight Show at Home Edition."

  • I love you, buddy. You're looking great.

  • Thank you so much for doing this.

  • I appreciate it so much. -It's my pleasure, pal.

  • It's good to see you. -Great to see you, as well.

  • And where are you? Are you in Manhattan still?

  • -I'm in Manhattan.

  • We're holed up in our apartment here in New York City.

  • And so far, so good.

  • We're doing what we're supposed to do.

  • -How are the girls? -They're doing pretty well.

  • They didn't like going outside anyway, so...

  • -This is kind of perfect for them.

  • -We're dragging them outside, and they're like, "Or...

  • stay in here and play all the screens that we want?"

  • I'm like, "Fair enough."

  • -Your kids are pretty creative from what I know.

  • I heard that they were -- They thought

  • of an interesting way to have dinner at your house?

  • -Yes, this was awesome, and I wanted to tell you about it

  • because I feel like it's something you can do --

  • anyone can do at home if they're trying to fill time.

  • My older daughter, Alice, is 14 now,

  • and she saw this idea online,

  • so thank you to whoever put this idea online originally.

  • But she was saying, like, we should do theme dinners.

  • And we did one the other night,

  • and it was an airplane-themed dinner.

  • And the thing that was great about it

  • was it took a lot of time, right, for them to get ready.

  • Also, I don't know if your girls are this way,

  • but Alice was actually kind of helping her little sister

  • get ready for it, and the little sister is just, like,

  • so pumper when her big sister pays attention to her at all.

  • -Oh, yeah. -She was just, like, pumped.

  • And they dressed up like --

  • Penelope dressed up like a stewardess.

  • Here. Let me find these pictures. I'll show them to you.

  • It was really cute. Um...

  • -That is hilarious.

  • -She dressed up like a stewardess.

  • They did the whole like --

  • I don't know if you can hear this.

  • Like, a whole safety, uh...

  • -...your chair. If you lose air...

  • -So cute.

  • -...the air masks will fall from the cabin above.

  • -The whole safety thing. [ Laughs ]

  • -Oh, my gosh!

  • -They turned all the chairs.

  • They were like -- I'm getting a text.

  • There were magazines in the back of the chairs.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • That is brilliant! -They had -- We had dinner.

  • They -- They served it on,

  • like, big old trays, which was good.

  • My husband made -- We had --

  • well, we had macaroni and cheese and spam,

  • but it was on the trays. -[ Laughs ]

  • -And then also they were -- Because they were treating us

  • like a really nice flight, they were like,

  • "Would you like a glass of wine?"

  • And we were like, "Yes."

  • And the great thing was, afterwards, they were like,

  • "We didn't know how much wine was too much."

  • And I was like, "Yeah, you didn't, 'cause this was..."

  • -Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!

  • -An ample first-class pour.

  • -I want them at my dinner party.

  • -She put an airplane window on our TV,

  • and I wore a sleep mask,

  • and for the next 18 months, that's me.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -That's Quaran-Tina.

  • -[ Laughs ] -Ooh, that's pretty good.

  • -Oh, also, by the way, the last thing I'll say

  • about airplane dinner -- the other reason to do it

  • is once your seat belts are on and everything's done,

  • the dinner part is everyone sitting quietly.

  • If you have enough phones,

  • everyone watching a movie on their own device.

  • -Genius.

  • -It will be the quietest dinner.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -It is absolutely genius. -It's great.

  • Thank you to the Internet for that.

  • Yeah, the other thing that we did, which was super fun --

  • we did a thing --

  • We did an online talent show with my --

  • our kids, a bunch of us, over this very technology.

  • We used Zoom, and so if you have a Zoom work account,

  • you should definitely abuse it and use it for other things.

  • So it was, like, my ladies, Maya Rudolph's kids,

  • Amy Poehler, Emily Spivey, Ana Gasteyer's kids,

  • and we -- Again, another thing that was nice about it

  • was it took about a week.

  • We were sort of like, "Guys, probably this weekend,

  • probably there's a talent show,

  • so you need to think about what you're going to do."

  • So there'd be times where I would be screaming, like,

  • "Get off of your screens! Go practice for the talent show."

  • And it would kind of work.

  • -Wow. -So everyone really brought it,

  • and then the other thing that was super cute

  • was we realized kind of like in the half hour before

  • that we could probably get links to all --

  • as many as we could of the grandparents.

  • And so right when we went to do it,

  • it was like -- My mom was able to get on.

  • Amy's parents.

  • Emily Spivey's parents in North Carolina.

  • And it was so cute.

  • Shoemaker watched it from... -No way!

  • -"I'll watch it. I have nothing to do."

  • Friends of mine in Florida.

  • And so everyone -- It was so sweet to see everyone,

  • like, come together on the Zoom.

  • And Archie Arnett -- Amy's son Archie was the host.

  • He did an awesome job.

  • Rome Spivey did -- He did a sketch

  • that was an old Emily Spivey cut-for-time sketch

  • about, like, an ad for a barbecue place,

  • and it was like, "Come on down to our barbecue."

  • And he committed. It was so cute.

  • Ulysses McKittrick did close-up magic.

  • -No way. -Penelope did --

  • Penelope is using this time to practice contortionism

  • 'cause she's -- 'Cause why wouldn't she?

  • Why wouldn't she find a way to make us nervous the whole time?

  • So she does some, like --

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And the first 27 minutes --

  • I recorded the whole thing.

  • The first 27 minutes of the one-hour thing

  • is just old people

  • not understanding when they're muted.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -It's, like, Emily Spivey's dad being like,

  • "Oh, I don't know. I think they started."

  • And then it's like -- -"Are we on yet? Are we on yet?"

  • -Mr. Poehler just like...

  • It was the best, and if anyone --

  • If you have the capability to do it, it was super fun.

  • -Oh, that's great.

  • I think we have a little clip

  • we can just show right here real quick.

  • -This is the end of Penelope doing her --

  • She did some contortion to

  • "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'."

  • The audio wasn't terrific,

  • but you can kind of get a feel for the vibe

  • of the FOTS, the First Online Talent Show.

  • ♪♪

  • -Bravo!

  • [ Applause ]

  • -Wonderful! -Good job.

  • [ Indistinct shouting ]

  • -Yay. That was fantastic.

  • Tell Penelope I said she is awesome.

  • She's very talented. Please tell her.

  • I know with this whole COVID-19 quarantine shutdown,

  • Broadway has been shut down,

  • and your show, "Mean Girls," is currently off.

  • How is everyone doing and dealing over there?

  • -Yes. I mean, that was hard.

  • That's a whole huge industry. It's a huge part of New York.

  • It's a workplace for so many people.

  • I've been trying to do stuff to help raise money

  • for the actors fund in addition

  • to the City Harvest stuff we're going to talk about today.

  • But it's rough because it's -- it's a lot of people.

  • It's a giant industry.

  • But we are just all kind of sticking together.

  • Also our tour,-- "Mean Girls" was out on tour,

  • and that is paused,

  • and we look forward to, when it's safe to do so,

  • hopefully adding those cities back that we missed.

  • But, yeah, we had a meeting yesterday.

  • It's a very close-knit community,

  • and we just want to come out the other side stronger.

  • And when it's safe to come back,

  • we will be there, and we will welcome you back.

  • I hope there's some kind of like "I love New York" campaign,

  • like the '70s. -Ohh.

  • -We need that when it's safe to do so.

  • We'll be here and ready to...

  • -♪ I love New York

  • -Frank Langella dressed like Dracula.

  • -That's right! -But, you know,

  • our "Mean Girls" Broadway, our social channel,

  • we're trying to give people content

  • and let them check in if they're fans of the show.

  • There's always stuff to see there.

  • -Well, whatever we can do to support when you come back,

  • we will, please.

  • -Put you in the "I love New York" commercial.

  • -Yeah. Exactly. I would totally...

  • Let's talk about CityHarvest.org.

  • This is -- -Thank you.

  • -Winnie does all these graphics.

  • -Good work, Winnie.

  • -Yeah. They're getting smaller and kind of less creative.

  • -She's getting tired of it? -Yeah, she doesn't want to work.

  • She doesn't like her new job. I'm like, "Come on.

  • Help me out a little bit, please? Geez."

  • City Harvest. They're fantastic.

  • You've done stuff with them before, haven't you?

  • -Yeah, I mean, I've just been a donor with them before.

  • And they're a really well-established charity

  • here in New York City.

  • I figured this problem is so big,

  • sometimes it feels good to think locally.

  • And I encourage people to do so around the country

  • to support organizations near them, too.

  • But, you know, New York City is the epicenter of this right now.

  • It looks calm when you and I talk.

  • It's calm to see people in their homes who are well.

  • But there are so many people who are in hospitals right now.

  • There are so many people who are toughing it out

  • at home who are super-sick,

  • who ordinarily would go to the hospital, who can't right now.

  • And City Harvest is a charity that gets food, healthy food

  • to at-risk neighborhoods and places

  • where they don't have great ways to get nutritious food.

  • And they're currently up and running.

  • Their mobile markets are going.

  • They're still able to be helping out.

  • And so I think, also, not just right now,

  • but whenever this settles down,

  • the economic repercussions of this are going to be major,

  • and there's going to be a lot of people,

  • a lot of kids who count on

  • their school meals who are now homeschooled.

  • There's going to be a lot of people who are in need

  • of their services, and I really encourage --

  • I thank you for inviting me to talk about it,

  • and I encourage people to donate.

  • -These people are angels that are helping everyone out.

  • And right now, if anyone's watching on YouTube,

  • there's a "donate" button next to it.

  • So just click that button, and you'll donate.

  • Anything matters. Everything.

  • Just give a dollar. Give 50 cents.

  • It's -- I can't even stress how awesome that is

  • that we can just do that, and it will feed so many people.

  • You have no idea. So thank you. This is a great charity.

  • Thank you so much for doing this.

  • I really appreciate it.

  • And on behalf of everyone watching the show,

  • they all appreciate it, too, so thank you.

  • While we're all quarantined and cooped up at home.

  • I'd like to play a game based on a board game

  • that you can actually play called -- Uh-oh.

  • -Probably -- I told you there's a Japanese water ghost

  • in my house.

  • -What is going -- -My house is pretty haunted,

  • and just sometimes --

  • Sometimes a specter --

  • You can't even quite -- Oh, there -- Oh, gosh!

  • -Wow!

  • -Oh, gosh. -Oh, my gosh. That's freaky!

  • -Help me! -Hey!

  • I don't see anything, Tina. I think you're just --

  • -Do you want to show...?

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -Aww. Hi, cutie.

  • That was a good -- [ Laughs ] That was a good bit.

  • -She has a history of being creepy around you.

  • -She does, but all funny stuff and creative stuff.

  • -She came...one time, and she drew, like,

  • really creepy, scary pictures and left them. Um...

  • -It was, like, dead birds and stuff, right?

  • -She's -- It's fine. She's a Wednesday Addams.

  • -I love her. Oh, dude. Winnie's obsessed with Wednesday.

  • All right. So, we're going to play this game.

  • It's something I saw on the Internet, but it's a board game.

  • It's called "Hey Robot," and what it is,

  • is I have a bunch of random words in a jar.

  • And I'm going to pick one out,

  • and then you have to ask Alexa, which is right here,

  • or whatever speaker you have in your house --

  • You have to say something to get the robot to guess the word.

  • You can't say the word, but you understand the idea.

  • It's like "Taboo" and all that. -"Password" and all that.

  • -Yeah. -I have such a wimpy voice

  • that sometimes even in my own house,

  • the Alexa ignores me, so I'll do my best.

  • Sometimes I'll be like, "Alexa, set a timer."

  • And she's just like...

  • Like, "Alexa!"

  • -[ Laughs ] Slap it. Clapping.

  • "Hey, Alexa! I asked you!" All right.

  • Ready? Here's your first word.

  • -Okay, so, the funny thing is

  • I have to take my glasses off to see better.

  • -Oh, I'm getting there, too. All right.

  • -Oh, gosh. -It is "pickle."

  • -Okay. Oh, gosh.

  • -Let me know when you're ready, and I'll press the Alexa button.

  • -Um...

  • Oh -- Uh -- Sure. I mean, press it whenever.

  • -All right. Here we go. Ready? -Okay.

  • [ Beep ]

  • -Alexa, what's a recipe

  • for salted, marinated cucumbers?

  • [ Beep ]

  • -Okay. For salted marinated cucumbers,

  • I recommend marinated cucumber, onion, and tomato salad.

  • 2 hours, 15 minutes to make. What would you like?

  • Start recipe, send it to your phone,

  • or hear next recipe.

  • -Oh. It's your turn. All right.

  • -Alexa, stop. All right. Here we go.

  • I'm going to -- Oh, I know.

  • Alexa, what does Vlasic make?

  • [ Beep ]

  • -Here's something I found on the Web.

  • According to wikipedia.org, Vlasic pickles is an...

  • -Yeah! That counts! [ Laughs ]

  • All right. Alexa, stop. All right.

  • Here we go. Now let's try another one here.

  • [ Beep ]

  • Uh-oh.

  • "Saxophone."

  • -Okay. Ready? -Yep.

  • -Alexa. Alexa. What instrument does Bill Clinton play?

  • [ Beep ]

  • See? They can never hear me.

  • -She couldn't hear you.

  • -No, it's my weird ghost voice!

  • -That's weird. [ Laughs ]

  • -Am I not real? Have I never been --

  • Am I -- Have I always been the...?

  • Okay. -Try it again. Ready?

  • Here we go.

  • -Alexa, what instrument does Bill Clinton play?

  • [ Beep ] -Saxophone.

  • -Yeah! First thing out of the gate!

  • That is the best one yet!

  • Crusher. Yes.

  • All right. -Thanks for your feedback.

  • -All right. Cool. Very polite.

  • All right. That was killer.

  • Oh, my God. That was the first --

  • That was the first word she said.

  • You probably get bonus points for that.

  • I'll give it to you. -Okay.

  • -Okay. Here's my word. -Okay.

  • -"Unicorn." Oh, man. Unicorn.

  • Gosh. I have no idea.

  • Um, um, unicorn. Unicorn.

  • Um, oh, God. I'm going to come off as an idiot here.

  • Um...

  • Alexa, what do you call a horse with a horn?

  • -According to an Amazon customer, unicorn.

  • -Yes! I love Amazon customers!

  • "According to an Amazon customer, a unicorn."

  • -Think about that.

  • They searched all of Amazon's customer comments that fast?

  • -Wow. That is bizarre. All right. Here we go.

  • Your word is... -Mm-hmm.

  • Okay.

  • -..."cowboy."

  • -Hmm. That's -- Okay.

  • Uh...

  • What is -- Alexa, what is the name of the job --

  • -Alexa is me.

  • I'm a virtual assistant who can help you with lots of things.

  • ...alarms, weather reports...

  • -Alexa. Alexa, stop. Stop. -Alexa.

  • -Oh, my God. Change your voice. Maybe British accent, maybe?

  • -[ British accent] Alexa, what kind of doll

  • is Woody from "Toy Story"?

  • -[ British accent] Alexa, what kind of doll

  • is Woody from "Toy Story"?

  • -Here's something I found on the Web.

  • According to OrlandoSentinel.com,

  • Andy's favorite is Woody, an old-fashioned cowboy doll.

  • -Yes! -...toys.

  • -For the win. Tina Fey. That was worth 10,000 points.

  • You are the champ of "Ask Robot."

  • I love you, bud. Oh, my gosh.

  • [ "Don't Fear the Reaper" playing ]

  • It's playing music. This is crazy.

  • -"Don't Fear the Reaper." -[ Laughs ] Oh, my gosh!

  • This is weird, right? All right.

  • Hey, pal, I'll talk to you --

  • I'll talk to you later this week or something.

  • Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

  • Bye, buddy. -Bye, pal.

  • -Chef José Andrés is nothing short of an angel.

  • I love this guy and what he's doing.

  • I got to talk to him today in his kitchen.

  • Please watch.

  • Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

  • Chef, my chef.

  • Oh! That's what I'm talking about!

  • -Jimmy Fallon. -You look fantastic, buddy.

  • I love ya.

  • José Andrés. -Jimmy Fallon.

  • -You look great, buddy. Oh, my gosh.

  • Look -- no, no, no, no, no, no.

  • It looks beautiful.

  • -...my hair in San Francisco in honor of

  • all the nurses and doctors that they are fighting this war.

  • Look at it. -Wow.

  • I think it looks cool, buddy. I think it looks great.

  • Hey, I said -- last time I saw you,

  • I said I won't talk to you again

  • until you're on the cover of "Time" magazine.

  • And here we are.

  • Come on, look at you.

  • Cover boy. -Yeah, I'm --

  • I'm very humbled by it, but it's kind of --

  • World Central Kitchen is not about

  • I the person, and you know it. -I know.

  • -The kitchen is about thousands of women and men,

  • right now in more than ten different missions

  • across the world,

  • that they only have one thing in their head,

  • to feed anybody that is hungry after an emergency.

  • So that cover is little bit unfair

  • because it's not really about José.

  • It's about those men and women

  • that are making it happen every single day.

  • So for me to them, that's their cover.

  • -Absolutely. World --

  • worldcentralkitchen.org is the website

  • just so everybody can see that.

  • My daughter draws these up.

  • -Wow. -That's not my handwriting.

  • Yeah, she's getting really good.

  • -Are you paying her? -[ Laughs ]

  • She's underpaid right now, yeah.

  • No, I'm not. I should.

  • I don't want her to hear that.

  • But what are you making right there?

  • -Well, I have my favorite things in the whole world.

  • We're making a fried rice.

  • -Oh, I love fried rice.

  • -And this is a fried rice almost in the honor

  • of the men and women of China

  • that they've been going through this crazy mayhem

  • with the coronavirus.

  • And I know that people in China are going to be upset

  • that this is not the real fried rice,

  • but it's my fried rice, so I ask for forgiveness.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And I think it's a lot of families right now

  • that they're going through some uncertainty.

  • Many, many people are losing their jobs.

  • And there's going to be hard times.

  • But I think out of the hard times

  • we should be taking the best out of them.

  • And I think this is a moment to be saying,

  • "Man, if I have to be home and I have to cook for the family,

  • what I can do?"

  • And this is all the vegetables that you can think of.

  • They're super inexpensive.

  • Carrots.

  • You can be using canned corn.

  • You can be using chickpeas and green beans.

  • -Hey, speaking of chickpeas -- -You chop it,

  • and then you make a fried rice.

  • -And just put -- just throw it in with a little oil?

  • -Look at it. A little bit of oil.

  • I have ginger.

  • But if you don't have ginger because

  • it's very fancy, put garlic.

  • It's okay. You know,

  • recipes are for you to do whatever you want with them.

  • Don't follow the recipe.

  • You need to write your own recipe for success.

  • So if you have ginger, put it. If not, garlic.

  • If you don't have ginger or garlic, you know what?

  • You don't put it.

  • And then you begin adding any vegetable you want.

  • Hey, are you going to help me or what?

  • -Yes. -Look,

  • my daughter Carlota, Jimmy. -Hello.

  • -Hi, buddy. Nice to see you again.

  • -You too. -My daughter, Lucia.

  • -Hi. -Oh, come on.

  • -The vegetables. Start adding and start moving.

  • -You have the best two chefs.

  • -You have a lot of -- and you start cooking.

  • Can you smell it in your house?

  • -Yes, I'm smelling it already through this.

  • I cannot see it.

  • And you keep adding vegetables. Hominy.

  • I'm not going to give you a recipe.

  • If you like vegetables a lot, put a lot.

  • If not, put less.

  • I can do something now, you see?

  • You can add some chickpeas because cans are good...

  • -Yes.

  • -...when you're at home for long periods.

  • -I have a lot of chickpeas at my house.

  • -Some corn. Why?

  • Because canned vegetables are good.

  • -They are. -I'm French,

  • but if you don't have -- canned vegetables are excellent.

  • Actually, they need love.

  • They feel sometimes like we're shaming them.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Vegetables in a can, they have feelings too.

  • -Oh, my gosh. -Look at how beautiful they are.

  • -Oh, my gosh, you guys. -Look at this great --

  • -You guys, you can get your dad out of there.

  • -They have feelings.

  • The poor chickpea. -Oh, my gosh.

  • -They always say, "Why people think like

  • we're not good people? We're good people."

  • -How do you live with this guy?

  • How do you live with this guy in your house?

  • -I don't know. -I don't know.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Oh, my gosh. -Take a look.

  • I know this is an expensive machine

  • and not everybody has it,

  • but this is a machine that makes rice.

  • And when it's ready, it's going to sing.

  • -Really? -I love -- When I come home,

  • I put the rice machine up and running.

  • It's back there.

  • And then when the rice is done, it plays a song.

  • -Really?

  • [ Vocalizes "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" ]

  • -No. But it plays a song.

  • Look, it's about to happen. It's one minute away.

  • -One minute away. All right.

  • Do you have a tip for making rice, by the way?

  • Is it like -- do you put your --

  • how do you measure rice with water?

  • -I use that one because I like

  • to make Japanese rice and it's more sophisticated.

  • But between you and me, you only need a pot.

  • Listen! [ Music chiming ]

  • -It's not loud enough. -Doesn't matter.

  • You cannot hear it, but I love it.

  • It's like -- -I'm dancing.

  • I'm dancing. I love it. I'm happy.

  • -The rice is ready.

  • -Oh, my gosh. -Look at it.

  • -Come on.

  • -And then we put the rice inside.

  • -Look at this. -Okay?

  • So a little bit more. A little bit more.

  • Now sautee. Look at it.

  • -Oh, my gosh.

  • Guys, get out of the way. Get out of the way.

  • There's more fire. Oh, my gosh.

  • -Move, move, move. -Ah!

  • -Keep away. -[ Laughs ] Oh, my --

  • You're going to light the house on fire.

  • -And then some soy sauce. Why?

  • Because soy sauce is good for you.

  • It gives flavor. It gives salt.

  • And then if you have some leftover chicken, you add it.

  • If you have some leftover chorizo, you add it.

  • If not, you don't add anything else.

  • By the way, I have a question for him.

  • What is your favorite kitchen gadget?

  • -Oh, I brought it.

  • I think it's pretty interesting but let me show it

  • to you and see -- do you see this?

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -Keep your daughter -- see this thing?

  • -Is this to change your lightbulbs?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -What do you guys think it is? -Is that a whisk?

  • -That's a whisker for egg whites.

  • -It kind of is. But, no, you're going to freak out.

  • This is amazing. So my father-in-law

  • would find these things in antique stores

  • and refurbish them and refinish them.

  • This thing right here is a hand mixer.

  • Check this out.

  • This is before electricity, okay?

  • So you see the grooves there? Watch this.

  • You take a bowl. You push.

  • -Oh! -Oh!

  • [ Hums fanfare ] ♪ Bum, bum, bum... ♪

  • -Isn't that cool?

  • -Fun. -Isn't that fun?

  • -That's so cool!

  • -You can make egg whites with it,

  • whipped cream probably. -Yep.

  • -Or you can do anything else.

  • -Yeah, that's -- I just thought it was so rad.

  • I didn't know what it was, but it does that.

  • -You can do my... -No electricity.

  • ...with it, probably. -No electricity.

  • And I can -- yeah, I can twirl my hair with it too.

  • [ Laughter ] -And that's good for mustache.

  • I'm sure you can play music.

  • We know you like music. -Oh, you know that.

  • We've jammed out a couple times.

  • -You know what my daughters and I --

  • we've have been doing at home some nights

  • when I come back from working around the city?

  • -What?

  • -We've been doing recipes

  • at the rhythm of "Hamilton."

  • So we put the "Hamilton" with permission

  • of Lin-Manuel Miranda, and then we start cooking,

  • and we have to cook in the same length as the song.

  • -Oh, that's a brilliant idea. I was going to ask you

  • if we can get into a little bit about World Central Kitchen

  • just so we can talk about it.

  • What are you guys up to right now?

  • I know that you're feeding people

  • quarantined on cruise ships.

  • You're feeding kids school lunches.

  • You donated N95 masks to hospital workers.

  • -We've been doing projects on our own.

  • We are in many cities, many states.

  • In others, we're partnering.

  • In others, we're giving ideas to very good people, men and women

  • that they are feeding food banks.

  • They're doing an amazing work.

  • The school districts all across America,

  • they're doing an amazing work keeping children fed.

  • The best of America shows up in these times.

  • And food, we are here only to be supporting the men and women

  • that they're fighting this war in the hospitals of America.

  • Those men and women, they need all of our support.

  • So if I ask the cooks, we can make sure that anybody

  • hungry can have a bite of food and that's going to be

  • a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

  • That's what the food people of America, we are here to do

  • so that men and women -- -[ Indistinct talking ]

  • The men and women of World Central Kitchen --

  • Oh, oh!

  • Oh! The [indistinct] are popping up all around the house.

  • So the men and women of World Central Kitchen,

  • we're here to support.

  • If you go to wck.org,

  • there you are going to see what we are doing,

  • the maps where we are cooking,

  • and where other people are doing.

  • So to all the food people of America,

  • the woman that is working in the supermarket

  • eight hours a day making sure that your family is fed,

  • that woman is also a hero.

  • The men and women that they are bringing the food

  • to the supermarkets from different parts of America,

  • those are heroes.

  • It's many people that we are going to be playing our role

  • to make sure that America is taken care of

  • while we are asking America to stay home.

  • To those men and women beyond our nurses and doctors,

  • we know they're heroes.

  • That adds to our part of supporting their efforts.

  • A big kiss to you. Big thumb-up

  • because you are amazing people and we love you,

  • and when this passes, we're going to make sure

  • that every man in woman in America

  • is recognized for their service to this country.

  • -I totally agree with you. I love that.

  • How can people at home help?

  • -Listen, there's many ways we can be helping and you know it.

  • Obviously wck.org.

  • You know, we are feeding from children to elderly.

  • If you want to support us, it's great.

  • But sometimes if you cannot because times are getting hard,

  • there's many ways you can be supporting.

  • If your mayor, if your senators and congressmen,

  • if your governor is telling you to stay home, stay home.

  • This is a great way to be helping our nurses

  • and our doctors to fight this virus.

  • We want to make sure that the hospitals

  • are not full of people.

  • If they're telling you to follow --

  • to wash your hands 20, 30 seconds, do it

  • because this way you're not spreading the virus.

  • It's not a joke. This is serious times.

  • Follow the rules. Follow the people that know.

  • Follow Dr. Fauci,

  • who is an amazing hero in these times.

  • -Isn't he great? -That's what we need to do.

  • Listen to him. Don't listen to anybody else.

  • Dr. Fauci is the leader we need.

  • He's the leader we want.

  • And we need to follow what he's telling us.

  • We need to follow those people that are telling us

  • this is a problem but if we do what we have to do,

  • this problem is going to go away.

  • So that's what people can be doing at home.

  • Sometimes just following the rules.

  • -Chef, what can we do?

  • You know, I love my restaurants and I love my chefs.

  • I love my servers.

  • I want to support them in any way I possibly can.

  • I feel so bad that, you know,

  • but I understand you can't go out to dinner there.

  • But what can I do? What can we do?

  • -We talking there's millions and millions

  • of food service professionals --

  • cooks, waiters, farmers, delivery guys.

  • And I believe that in these hard times

  • we all need to recognize, obviously, if you have --

  • if you can be supporting your local restaurant,

  • many restaurants, they have employee funds

  • that they are collecting money from guests.

  • Me, I was able to be very lucky with my partners,

  • but I understand not every restaurant can do that

  • because restaurants, they have sometimes very short profits.

  • I've been able to offer four weeks, full benefits,

  • and full salary to every single front

  • and back of the house, every single member.

  • And if I can, I'm going to do two more weeks at least.

  • But other people cannot.

  • So we need to make sure that as Congress is passing these bills,

  • it's going to be other bills.

  • And we need to make sure that we are protecting the people,

  • the small businesses beyond we protect anybody else.

  • -Yeah. -'Cause restaurant industry,

  • 90-plus percent of the dollar

  • you pay to a restaurant trickles down across America.

  • -Every single thing you do from Instagram, from whatever,

  • even hanging out and meeting your family,

  • your awesome family, you just keep spreading that energy

  • and that love and that spirit because it comes through.

  • And we need it right now. And we need you.

  • And you're the greatest. I love you.

  • Thank you so much for doing my show, buddy.

  • The best.

  • -Feed America.

  • We need to remember that because there's many

  • that are working right now on the farms,

  • and they are not recognized by our system.

  • They're undocumented and those are many of the men and women

  • who are going to keep putting food on our tables.

  • When all this is over, I hope Congress will recognize

  • that once and for all

  • and make sure that we pass immigration reform

  • because these are the men and women

  • that are going to be feeding America

  • during these next few weeks.

  • Let's make that happen.

  • -We love you, Chef. Thank you so much.

  • Thank you again. I'll talk to you soon.

  • Thank you. -Good night.

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you guys so much for watching the show.

  • cityharvest.org.

  • wck.org.

  • My thanks to Tina Fey and Chef José Andrés.

  • Really, thank you guys for watching this whole week.

  • This is what the week has felt like.

  • Exactly -- this exact thing.

  • Okay. Stay safe.

  • Take care of each other.

  • Wash your hands. Don't touch your face.

  • I'll see next week with all new shows.

  • I love you guys. Thank you so much.

  • Oh, my gosh.

  • -Save yourself. -You can't go with me.

  • Bye!

  • ♪♪

-Oh, hi. Today's Friday.

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