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  • (festive music)

  • Come sit my love

  • - Hello, oh oh. (zipper sliding)

  • - Dah.

  • - Oh, much plug.

  • - I just happened to put it on,

  • just 'cause it's a nice--

  • - I enjoy that you bring this to my videos.

  • - Mm.

  • - Hello, and welcome.

  • Today's special Advent message is

  • share something you love with someone else.

  • And that means baking, for me.

  • (Claudia laughs)

  • - Oh.

  • - Yes, welcome to another episode of Baking Bad,

  • where I, Jessica, a girl who loves baking,

  • puts my dear wife Claudia, a girl who doesn't,

  • through the trauma of making something.

  • - It's just so much like prep involved.

  • - I don't understand how you love cooking,

  • which also involves a lot of prep and doing.

  • - But it's like, I don't know but you're,

  • it's just like, prep like, chopping up a garlic

  • or like peeling a carrot.

  • - Some of the stuff you do

  • is very labor-intensive, anyway.

  • - Is it?

  • - That's not the point.

  • So a lot of people have said

  • in the last comments of Baking Bad

  • that we should do something savory

  • because probably then you'd enjoy it.

  • - Yes.

  • - So I decided to split the difference,

  • and we're making mince pies.

  • - That's not savory.

  • - Well (laughs).

  • - How is that savory in any way?

  • - So for a lot of people who don't know

  • what mince pies are,

  • you're probably thinking mince, like mincemeat.

  • But no, it's actually a sweet thing,

  • but it's not like we take mincemeat

  • and then we just add sugar to it

  • and then we put it in a pie.

  • That would be weird.

  • It probably exists, but it would be weird.

  • - It's still called mincemeat,

  • what we are gonna be making.

  • - Yes, weirdly.

  • - And why is that?

  • - It's a lot of weird flying around.

  • To be honest, though, originally mincemeat did have

  • bits of fat in, beef fat.

  • - You mean, mincemeat pies originally--

  • - No no no, like mince pies, these sweet pies.

  • They originally had suet in.

  • - Mm, I can imagine that's quite nice.

  • I mean and also the pastry

  • would have been made with lard,

  • rather than butter. - Yes, yeah yeah yeah.

  • Anyway, these are completely--

  • - We're not selling this (laughs).

  • - These are completely vegetarian,

  • and obviously, sugar-free, and gluten-free.

  • Are they gluten-free?

  • - They are, it's gluten-free, it's sugar-free,

  • it's low-FODMAP,

  • - It's meat free - it's all of the good,

  • meat-free (laughing)

  • - Despite the name.

  • - It doesn't taste as bad

  • as you think it will. - Who doesn't know

  • what a mince pie is?

  • - That's very close-minded of you, Claudia.

  • (laughing)

  • 'Cause we made a video that was like,

  • weird British things last Christmas,

  • and people were like, "what, that's insane."

  • - My God, yeah.

  • (both laughing)

  • Sorry (laughing).

  • - That was a terrible story (laughing).

  • - It was, do you wanna hear

  • my awful and traumatizing story?

  • - Yes, please (Laughing).

  • - I was watchin' TV the other day.

  • Well, I just switched on to watch

  • the six o'clock news.

  • And, sorry, I can't quit eating these.

  • (laughing)

  • And the introduction to The Simpsons came on.

  • I don't watch The Simpsons,

  • but it's just like they, you know that bit

  • where they all like the family runs in,

  • in title sequence?

  • But this time, the family didn't run onto the sofa.

  • (Jessica laughing)

  • And it was like a love story,

  • and suddenly it was like this weird little mini cartoon

  • before The Simpsons,

  • of just the sofa and the TV,

  • having like a love relationship.

  • - Sure.

  • - And they were just like, mm, mm,

  • and then they managed to like bounce onto each other

  • and start roly polying around,

  • going, oh, oh, like making

  • all that lovey-dovey noises and giggling.

  • And then it goes to this point where the sofa

  • was just going like, like, on top of the TV.

  • - Just humping the TV (laughing).

  • - Yeah, and it was like, really,

  • for a good several seconds

  • and I was just like, what's happening here?

  • (laughing)

  • Like subtle, inanimate object

  • pornograph, pornophro, what?

  • And I can't get rid of the image from my mind now,

  • (laughing) of the sofa and the TV.

  • - (clearing throat) Warning, to those of you

  • (laughing) who have monolids, hooded eyes.

  • Rimmel Glam'Eyes is a lie.

  • It is not waterproof.

  • I was in London.

  • I realized I'd left my eyeliner.

  • I had to buy the eyeliner which was there,

  • in this little cottage shop.

  • It was the only one they had.

  • It does not stay on my face.

  • (banging)

  • - Yours is particularly bad.

  • - I'm gonna go sort this out.

  • - Uh.

  • - So, for the mincemeat minute recipe,

  • you will need 300 grams of clementines,

  • nice.

  • 100 grams of dried cranberries.

  • - Maybe 98 grams now.

  • - Yeah.

  • 60 grams of walnuts, 59 grams of walnuts.

  • 30 grams of virgin coconut oil.

  • Still 30 grams.

  • 20 grams of crystallized ginger,

  • that took me three days to make.

  • Because, did you know,

  • you can't buy sugar-free crystallized ginger?

  • Maybe you can in America. - They look quite cute.

  • They look like mini stick men.

  • - And now we're going to kill them.

  • 25 grams of coconut sugar.

  • Ah, it won't go away now., ooh.

  • - Always be prepared when we're with Jessica.

  • - Thank you, and so this is partly

  • a coconut sugar, and partly the Sukrin

  • sugar-free replacement for brown sugar.

  • But I would have used all of that

  • because I tend to use artificial sugar.

  • But Clara used it in her baking

  • and she hasn't replaced it.

  • - Oh.

  • - So, that's how the light feels about Clara.

  • - Yeah, I was like, what is happening? (laughing)

  • - You're not replacing the sugar.

  • - The light just went brrmp.

  • - It's definitely darker now, right?

  • - It feels a bit like it is.

  • - It feels darker.

  • (clicking)

  • Wah (screaming)

  • (laughing)

  • - It's all right, darling. (laughing)

  • - Sorry, I have a really strong startle reflex

  • (laughing)

  • - Okay, okay, we've changed the lighting situation.

  • Those ones kinda blew up a bit.

  • - 40 milliliters of water, two cloves,

  • one Teaspoon of mixed spice. - Spice.

  • - Oh no, I was gonna put them together to make mixed spice.

  • 1/2 a teaspoon of ground ginger.

  • Also not here.

  • (exhaling)

  • 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon.

  • That is here.

  • And one to two tablespoons of gin.

  • And, do we have gin?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Okay good, gin.

  • Ah, we've also considered using this artisan,

  • - Yes. - It's not really artisan,

  • it just says, artista,

  • sugar free hazelnut syrup.

  • - It just smells so good.

  • - It smells like Christmas.

  • And ready roll, ready made, gluten free pastry.

  • Because life is too short to make your own pastry.

  • (banging)

  • Now let's make it happen.

  • - Yeah, please.

  • This baking video's been going on for weeks.

  • (laughing)

  • can you please chop these walnuts?

  • And I am going to zest.

  • (gentle music)

  • right so, now we have zested the oranges.

  • And Claudia has beautifully chopped up.

  • So now we just need to peel them

  • and chop up the flesh that's inside.

  • I know that you may have some difficulty with this,

  • my love.

  • - Yeah well, I don't have any nails, so I always normally

  • have to bite into them.

  • Then people are always looking at me

  • like I'm a complete moron, like

  • why are you biting into a clementine, come on.

  • - I didn't Claudia to feel socially excluded at work,

  • by people seeing that she has to bite into a clementine

  • (laughing)

  • so now in the mornings I pre peel her fruit for her.

  • - Aw, I love how that's your reason for it.

  • (laughing)

  • But you do realize that I would probably more likely

  • get teased for having a pre peeled orange,

  • like clementine in my lunchbox.

  • People actually, people comment on that more.

  • (laughing) ah, you peeled it already.

  • - Claudia, washed the sauce pan.

  • And then I tried to take the saucepan

  • from the sink to here.

  • Apparently that was too great a distance for me.

  • To meet us, and I was on the floor.

  • It was largely Walter's fault.

  • Culprit.

  • I love you, I'm sorry.

  • I didn't mean to yell at you.

  • You're perfect just the way you are.

  • In a medium sized saucepan, over medium heat,

  • add your chopped walnuts.

  • Stir and allow them to brown 10 minutes.

  • (gentle music)

  • (sizzling)

  • - [Claudia] I like you're little outfit today.

  • - Hmm?

  • - [Claudia] Your little outfit.

  • - Thank you, thank you.

  • - [Claudia] Complete with mister blobby socks.

  • - Ah, excuse me, I think you're trying,

  • these are my second times warmer socks

  • that your dad gave me for Christmas.

  • And they are excellent, and I have three pairs of them.

  • - [Claudia] Yeah because he gave me and my sister a pair

  • and I think you knicked all of them.

  • - (laughing) Yes.

  • But otherwise this is a jumper from Fat Face it's Claudia's

  • and then underneath is a shirt dress from British Retro.

  • (light upbeat music)

  • Two cloves.

  • Uh!

  • Ooh, let's stud oranges at Christmas.

  • With cloves.

  • Yeah, does your family do that?

  • - [Claudia] Yeah we put them on the canai.

  • - Yay!

  • Baking appeals to me because I'm one of those people

  • who likes to things to be like organized

  • and exact and you know I'd love precise measurements.

  • But also, I've grown up with a chronic illness,

  • so my level of caring for stuff is.

  • And it's not the end of the world if you have to make due

  • with something else.

  • All right, turned it off.

  • (sizzling)

  • Now I'm going to do a tablespoon of lovely hazelnut.

  • And then some gin.

  • I think in honor of my grandmother.

  • I'll do two.

  • (sizzling)

  • - Hello.

  • - Hello, darling.

  • So now I've made our mince meat.

  • We are going to put it into the trays.

  • - Okay.

  • - You're going to butter,

  • - Butter this. - those around, yeah.

  • - My mom used to make the little tiny minced pies

  • with puff pastry and it's really nice.

  • - So we're gonna do half puff and half

  • short - Short crust pastry.

  • - And for the sack o' bottoms I have this mug

  • which was sent to me, by The Crown.

  • Not really.

  • By Sony pictures.

  • Right, I'ma do my six, you do your six.

  • (light upbeat music)

  • oh, is there a size to these things?

  • - (quietly) I think so.

  • (laughing)

  • the knife to make things better.

  • - (quietly) so there.

  • Ruined it.

  • I don't like precision.

  • - No.

  • - Like, I like, I'm a control freak,

  • - Yes. - and I like order

  • and structure and things.

  • But I don't necessarily need the ends.

  • - Do you just hate precision because you hate to be wrong?

  • (laughing)

  • - Maybe I'm perfectionist so if it doesn't look

  • completely perfect I'm like, I hate it.

  • - Yes.

  • Maybe stick to the simpler shapes then.

  • (laughing) for the short grass.

  • Ah, that's beautiful. - See.

  • You put the mince part. - There you go,

  • and then just put it on the side ready.

  • - On the side of where?

  • - Yeah, and now you can have the mug.

  • - Thank you.

  • - You're welcome.

  • That's why I got you to bring the cheese spoon, but

  • that works too.

  • You do you honey, whatever makes you happy.

  • - Now I don't want to put too much in.

  • 'cause I want it to explode.

  • - Personally I'm an under fill, I think.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - You can do this on your own can't you really?

  • - Yeah - if it's so much fun for you.

  • - It's all right, you can. - It's like my idea of hell.

  • (laughing)

  • or do you really punish me this way.

  • - No. (laughing)

  • you're free my love, you're free.

  • - I'll eat them.

  • Maybe, maybe - Good.

  • (upbeat music)

  • (banging)

  • (clanking)

  • All right, they're out of the oven.

  • They look lovely.

  • I'm exhausted, and I'm in pain, so

  • I'm gonna leave this here

  • and then we're gonna cut to tomorrow morning.

  • Where we eat them for breakfast because you know what,

  • this video is pre filmed.

  • And I can do that.

  • Well done me.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Good morning.

  • - Morning.

  • - So we've decided that since it's pretty much

  • almost vaguely kind of Christmas,

  • we're allowed to eat minced pies for breakfast.

  • - Yes.

  • - [Jessica] So we haven't actually tried them yet.

  • There's the short crust pastry ones.

  • - Oh yeah.

  • These are the puff pastry ones.

  • - Oh they didn't puff.

  • - They really didn't puff, no.

  • - They didn't.

  • - To be fair, you know, it's gluten fee pastry

  • you hope for something.

  • - Gluten free, vegan, and puff pastry isn't it made

  • - Vegan free. - with layers and layers of

  • - Butter.

  • - Butter yeah.

  • So they just used fat.

  • I mean not fat, who likes fat?

  • I mean oils.

  • (squeaking)

  • this one looks better.

  • Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - Also they look quite like,

  • this one looks a bit like a ship,

  • you know steering wheel.

  • - Yes it does.

  • - So I think that we can use that cutter again

  • if anyone's having sort of a maritime kind of

  • celebration. - Nautical party.

  • And yours looks like a snowflake

  • so that's much more fitting for minced pie.

  • - But, proof is in the pudding.

  • Ready? - Or

  • proof is in the pie. - Ching ching.

  • Proof is in the pie.

  • - Chars. - Chars.

  • (laughing)

  • (crunching)

  • (chewing)

  • - (with mouthful) it feels a bit crunchy.

  • - Mmmm, this is really good.

  • Tastes like a real minced pie.

  • - Hmm?

  • (laughing)

  • Glad we got there.

  • Yeah, mine's not so much pastry as filling.

  • But the filling is very nice.

  • - Mmm, it is.

  • Very Christmasy .

  • - You have minced pie on your nose.

  • I think we should call this a success.

  • - Mm, it is.

  • Very good. - Good job us.

  • High five.

  • (slapping)

  • - Whoo.

  • - And if you'd like to make your own

  • sugar free, gluten free, dairy free, vegan minced pies,

  • you can find the recipe in the description down below.

  • Or you can just eat regular minced pies,

  • if that's a thing you're able to do.

  • But you know.

  • (talking over each other) have everything.

  • Where's the fun in that eh?

  • - Where is the fun?

  • Where is the fun?

  • Oh, there's the clove.

  • I was wondering where that had gone.

  • (laughing)

  • I forgot we had to take those out.

  • - I didn't realize so much clementines

  • went into minced pies.

  • - I don't think they do normally.

  • - Oh, but it's nice.

  • It means that we get - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • - One of our five a day right now.

  • - Uh, sure, you're working on it,

  • you're working on it.

  • Thank you so much for watching,

  • please like this video, leave a comment

  • with what you'd like us to bake next.

  • And please do subscribe if you haven't already.

  • And we'll see you tomorrow for another exciting video.

  • - I was just hiding the stain from,

  • - You're hiding the stain on your dressing gown,

  • delightful, we'll see you then.

  • (kissing)

  • (gentle music)

  • - I'm sorry, have these been perfectly weighed?

  • - [Jessica] Yes.

  • (laughing)

  • - [Claudia] Okay.

  • - Oh look, I didn't even put anymore on.

  • How is it still on my eyelid?

  • Where is it coming from?

  • Stop picking your nails.

  • - No, I had a splinter.

  • - Oh, you got a splinter?

  • - It's fine now, whatever. - oh, let me see,

  • ohhh, no a splinter.

  • That's an injury (kissing)

  • - Let's just get on with this baking.

  • (laughing)

  • (upbeat music)

(festive music)

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