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  • Unlikely lines from a costume drama.

  • Madam, I'm in line to the throne

  • and, as such, we shall be dining somewhere that befits my title.

  • Pizza Express, Woking!

  • BUZZER

  • Ah, Batman! I mean, I suppose technically it's a costume.

  • BUZZER

  • Heathcliff, Heathcliff, let me in, let me in!

  • I just wondered if we could count on your vote on December 12th?

  • BUZZER

  • Generally, I am a footman, sir.

  • Although I do also like the bottom and the breasts.

  • BUZZER

  • Just reading this review from the Anne Boleyn musical.

  • It says, "It was a good idea, but I didn't like the execution."

  • Lord Windermere is famed for his opulent balls.

  • I've heard he wet-shaves them.

  • BUZZER

  • LABOURED SCOTTISH ACCENT: Aye, ya can take our land!

  • Ya can take our lives!

  • But ya cannae do our accent!

  • LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

  • BUZZER

  • You are Jane Eyre.

  • So this must be your brother, Nike.

  • BUZZER

  • That new servant girl is so cold and unresponsive.

  • Watch this.

  • Alexa? Alexa?

  • Your Lordship, I am delighted and excited

  • by the unexpected turn our correspondence has taken.

  • I await with feverish excitement

  • the next portrait of your engorged penis.

  • Please accept this crude sketch of my boobs...

  • ..as a token of my affection.

  • BUZZER

  • My heart is in my mouth.

  • My liver is in my anus.

  • Jesus, this corset is tight!

  • Carson, please get your hand out of my trousers.

  • When I told you to go below stairs, it wasn't a euphemism.

  • BUZZER

  • My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius.

  • So, yeah, that's Mike, Alpha, X-ray, India, Mike...

  • BUZZER

  • As the ruler of this country, I demand some respect.

  • When you see me, you will bow

  • and you will say "Yas...queen!"

  • BUZZER

  • Mr Darcy, I could never belong to you, I'm promised to another.

  • But I could give you a quick handy behind the bushes.

  • BUZZER

Unlikely lines from a costume drama.

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