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  • in this video, we're going to write a response to a task to question scene in Vietnam on the 14th of January 2017.

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  • Today's question reads.

  • In universities, young women tend to choose arts programs while young men prefer science.

  • What are the reasons for this trend?

  • And do you think this tendency should be changed?

  • Okay, so the first thing you'll notice is that this is a double action question.

  • So we are actually responding to two sets of action words in this question, the first being what are the reasons for this trend and secondly, do you think this tendency should be changed, and typically in NSC response, you will commit one supporting paragraph to the first set of action words and a second supporting paragraph to the second set.

  • And that's what I'm going to do in this response today.

  • Now, the background information, it's kind of a broad statement.

  • So, um, you know, we can't change it.

  • So we have to assume that this is true.

  • I'm going to pull examples from my country that I'm gonna try to pull examples for my country that illustrate that this is indeed a fact.

  • And then I'm gonna I'm going to kind of analyze those examples, um, to respond to these two sets of action words.

  • Okay.

  • And then you would have to do the same on your exam because you do want to share tangible examples to help prove your position.

  • It just brings, you know, it brings your arguments into reality.

  • Really.

  • It's not just sort of every discussion.

  • You're sharing some tangible examples to prove the point that you're making.

  • So, uh, let's start with an introduction paragraph.

  • So we just kind of want to, um, sort of restate the backward information that we have here.

  • So something like in many parts of the world, um, university enrollment trends, Um, for specific demographics.

  • Uh, changed first specific disciplines.

  • Let's say university disciplines.

  • It's kinda hard thing.

  • The word isn't it.

  • Specific disciplines.

  • Let's work it like this.

  • In many parts, the world's gender, um, often influences university enrollment trends for specific different disciplines.

  • Simple ideas going into that sentence.

  • Uh, so let's be more specific.

  • Young women, uh, 10 to engage arts programs.

  • Uh, see, while young men are more like two studying science.

  • Okay, so now we very specifically rewarded into the background of this question s o.

  • I'm going to argue that the, um you know, what is causing this is maybe culture or cultural or societal expectations and actually should have pointed out that I did have a bit of brainstorm before I started writing this.

  • So I've already come up with the ideas that I'm going to use Thio to support my positions here, and then you would want to do the same thing.

  • So I really should have actually told you to do that before we got right in here.

  • But anyways, so secondly, I'm going to argue that this is a tendency that should be changed because if you don't change, it's than the landscape in a university might not be unbiased, or it wouldn't be unbiased.

  • It was, you know, kind of channel people into certain programs based on their gender.

  • And then that might not let them exercise their skills, their talents to the full, because they might have natural interest or natural talent in something.

  • You know, one area, but they can't study that because their society, you know, the kind of dictates that certain genders should go certain places at university.

  • Okay, so that's where I'm gonna go with this essay s.

  • So I'm gonna say, I argue the reasons for this are largely, uh, cultural in nature.

  • Um, and we'll say should be addressed, uh, to ensure and unbiased, um, academic environment.

  • Okay, so I argue the reasons for this are largely cultural nature and should be addressed to ensure an unbiased academic environment.

  • So I'm just going to also kind of share a bit of an outline sentence just to kind of give the s a sense, that sense of organization, I guess.

  • Really.

  • So I'm just gonna say this essay, um, will provide evidence in support of this position.

  • Okay.

  • And then So some people will say Oh, but your introduction sentences or your introduction paragraph is so long now, But that's OK.

  • I mean, these sort of stock phrases, they do kind of help to tee up the whole essay.

  • And it gives the whole sense that you had a plan before you started writing.

  • So I'm instantly, you know, your overall level of cohesion goes up because the essay is already trying to connect its different parts before the reader even gets out of the introduction.

  • Right?

  • And like I've told you in other videos, the introduction should be some sort of road map to where you're going to go with the rest of the essay.

  • So my argument is very clear.

  • The reader knows that I'm going to address the topic of culture and that I feel this is a problem that should be changed.

  • Okay, And why do I feel that?

  • Because if it's not changed, it will lead to a biased university environment in a country that's not a good thing.

  • Okay, so now let's start by addressing the first part of this question, which was what are the reasons for this trend?

  • Okay, so, uh, first league, it must be remembered.

  • Let's say that might be recognized that coat for often encourages.

  • Um, see, the genders awards, uh, jobs that require, um, specific underground degrees.

  • Let's see.

  • Okay, so, um, I'm just gonna work backwards here, So basically, we're gonna look at jobs that, you know, society's typically deem more suited for men versus women on dhe.

  • My specific example that I was kind of brainstorming before I started was, you know, the entire area of forestry, which is quite large in my country.

  • And I mean, I don't even know whether this is true or not or whether there is gender imbalance and forced you're not, but I need to come up with an example.

  • I'm in the aisles exam, and I don't have access to the Internet.

  • Right.

  • So I'm just kind of making this up as I go along.

  • So I'm going to say that, you know, to get into forestry, you need to have some sort of, um, you know, degree.

  • That's typically a scientific degree and that, um, you know, this may be is some sort of cultural reason why I'm or men go into science than women are right?

  • Why women are sort of excluded from science or feel they shouldn't enrolling in science degrees.

  • Okay, so let's say, for example, in war served, um, programs.

  • Um uh, cursor jobs, Uh, that's just added your scientific programs because the job's in Fourth Street.

  • Um, what are often dominated?

  • Bye.

  • Um, and this is because people, uh, sleep.

  • We assume women are unable to you handle demands?

  • Depression?

  • Um, okay, s.

  • So let's just read to the paragraph.

  • Firstly, must be recognized that culture oft encourages the genders towards jobs that require specific undergraduate degrees, for example, are more conservative in more conservative parts of Canada?

  • Scientific programs that act as the precursor to jobs and forestry, such a geographical sciences are often dominated by men.

  • This is because people mistakenly assume women are unable to handle the physical physical demands of the forestry profession.

  • Okay, uh, and now I think we can just lightly, um, counter this because that will help set us up for the following paragraph.

  • Where we address Do you think this tendency should be changed?

  • So let's say something.

  • Lake.

  • Um, this assumption is difficult to support when considers, um, the I want to talk about, you know, there are women that are in them.

  • You know, strenuous jobs, other strenuous jobs.

  • And they don't have any issue carrying out the demands of those jobs.

  • So I can't think of a word to talk what the rates were.

  • You know, the very large rates of come back to the second enrolled and, ah, other strenuous professions.

  • Professional rules, rules.

  • Um, army.

  • Okay, The S o.

  • I'm thinking of a word like, larger assumption is difficult.

  • Sport one considers wth e.

  • Um, large reads it.

  • Let's say it was high high rates of women enrolled, Another strenuous for professional rules such as the army.

  • Okay.

  • And maybe we can tie in a second example that addresses, you know, the pressures on men.

  • So perhaps, um, you know, people typically assumed that science degrees lead more directly to employment.

  • And I guess if cultures and societies, they have this sort of traditional, like nuclear image of the family, where you have the father, the mother, the you know, the Children, and then the father is sort of the breadwinner.

  • And the mother is the is the homemaker more, You know, that's more this kind of traditional thinking.

  • Then there might be societal push to get men into science programs because that means that they will more directly go into employment afterwards.

  • So let's say something like similarly, similarly societies everywhere.

  • Science, He's everywhere.

  • Um often assumed that science degrees leaves more direct to employment.

  • Um, and then let's just just kind of counter that right away.

  • Eso which organizations like sticking a specific statistics Canada, um, proven which organizations like this can have proven is untrue.

  • And so again, um, I have no idea whether these these trends are true for Canada.

  • I have no idea where the statistics Canada has proven this untrue, but I'm just like you and your eyelids exam, you're not gonna be able to check the Internet.

  • You're kind of just making it up as you go.

  • And that sounds like it probably is something that some stitches a can't Statistics Canada could disprove.

  • So just that's why I'm going to that example.

  • Because many societies, the old, uh, well say, still feel the nuclear family, um, is optimal.

  • Millio young men pushed wars.

  • Uh, science trees secure, families future.

  • Okay, so we've given sort of two reasons, and we shared specific examples for why this trend exists, Okay?

  • And we really don't know whether the trend exists or not said several times over.

  • But the question is seems pretty certain that the question knows that this trend exists.

  • So we have to kind of from support it and come up with reasons for why this is this is happening.

  • Okay, so let's close this, um, with just a clear sort of label on what we've done in this paragraph.

  • So thus flawed societal, um, expectations.

  • We could say expectations are clearly to blame for much gender imbalances.

  • Scene and university club bans today.

  • Okay, now, that's a pretty long paragraph.

  • You could probably get away with just sharing one example.

  • Um, but, I mean, if if you're kind of on a roll and you're able to come up with to, like, I've done here, you know, one for women and one for men, then obviously that's a That's a fuller answer, but I don't think it would be needed to be successful in your I'll insist.

  • You know, you do have a limited time, so if you're you know, you're not moving as quickly through it is you want to, Then you probably just want to stick to one example for, um you know why certain genders go towards certain academic disciplines at university.

  • So second, supporting paragraph, we're declaring that we think this thing's tendency or this trend should be changed.

  • Okay, Ends and why?

  • So let's say this pigeon holing, which I believe one word pigeonholing pigeonholing.

  • Yeah, that's not word I write often.

  • This pigeonholing needs to be encountered to ensure people, um, are not on beer leave excluded from suit university.

  • Uh, you know, we could actually just simplify the idea more, because what What we're getting at here is that society as a whole is better when people are allowed to pursue what they have natural interest in.

  • So let me just river this year, that's the society is healthier, healthiest, even healthiest.

  • When I just think this is them in this pigeon holing virgin cooling is countered.

  • Okay.

  • Young men and women are much more likely to advance.

  • Um, there societies when they are encouraged to pursue, uh, academia, huh?

  • Let's say, encouraged towards academic pursuits in which they have natural, um, talent and interesting.

  • Just okay.

  • And then if we could just think of one example that sort of shows this inaction.

  • So, for example, Jane Goodall, the British scientists that did her work with, um I think those gorillas or we'll see primates.

  • I'm not exactly sure which, but she was doing.

  • But we could make the argument that if she were pushed out of the science field with scientific field, obviously then all of her great research would not have existed, Okay?

  • And she obviously had natural interesting that she had talent in that, so that would not be a good thing.

  • Right?