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  • Holy monkey balls, what a confused mess of a game. It�s, like...you know, you pick

  • up a game called Curious George, and unless it�s some kind of Seinfeld parody, you know

  • it�s supposed to be a kids game, right? It�s, like, everyone on the planet knows

  • that.

  • Everyone except Curious freaking George.

  • Released to a bunch of consoles back in 2006, Curious George is kind of a let down. To the

  • extent that a Curious George game can seem promising, this one does. It looks nice and

  • colorful, it has lots of actual platforming...not just kids platforming, which is always just

  • running around and collecting crap. But...it�s like Curious George didn�t get the memo

  • that Curious George is a kids game.

  • So what is this? Well, it�s a platformer, based on a Curious George movie that apparently

  • released in 2006. Completely unbeknownst to me. You play as George himself. The curious

  • one. And you run, and jump. And to be fair, this actually isn�t a terrible game, but

  • it is a terrible kids game.

  • See, problem number one with this kids game...is that it�s way too hard for kids. This thing

  • requires some surprisingly thorough platforming at times. With jumps that are so wide...if

  • you don�t double jump at just the right moment, you won�t make it. In fact, the

  • game relies heavily on that double jump, which would be great.

  • If it freaking worked.

  • I�m speechless. I have no speech.

  • So for some reason...you have, like, a millisecond-long window to hit that button a second time, for

  • the double jump. Which means it doesn�t work a lot of the time. And since a lot of

  • the game requires it to work, well...you press the button, you fall down, yada, yada, yada,

  • you throw your controller into the burning rubble.

  • And you know, it�s a shame. Because I actually like a lot of what this game is trying to

  • do. Curious George is a lot more substantive than most kids platformers. Again, when the

  • platforming works...it�s good fun. And there�s plenty of it. In fact, the game even references

  • Donkey Kong...implicitly, with the vines and bananas.

  • And explicitly. With the barrels and red girders. Kinda cool, and there are times when you can

  • tell its heart is in the right place. Too bad its controls are not. The double jump

  • is so frustrating, youll be begging forserenity now;� the game is too tough

  • for kids, not that there�s anything wrong with that; and for the love of all that�s

  • holy, George...the card saysmoops.�

Holy monkey balls, what a confused mess of a game. It�s, like...you know, you pick

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