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  • Thank you Chad, for those kind words and for the even kinder work that you and the Human

  • Rights Campaign Foundation do every dayespecially on behalf of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and

  • transgender young people here and across America.

  • It's such an honor to be here at the inaugural Time to THRIVE conference. But it's a little

  • weird, too. Here I am, in this room because of an organization whose work I deeply admire.

  • And I'm surrounded by people who make it their life's work to make other people's lives better

  • profoundly better. Some of you teach young peoplepeople like me. Some of you help

  • young people heal and to find their voice. Some of you listen. Some of you take action.

  • Some of you are young people yourselves...in which case, it's even weirder for a person

  • like me to be speaking to you.

  • It's weird because here I am, an actress, representingat least in some sensean

  • industry that places crushing standards on all of us. Not just young people, but everyone.

  • Standards of beauty. Of a good life. Of success. Standards that, I hate to admit, have affected

  • me. You have ideas planted in your head, thoughts you never had before, that tell you how you

  • have to act, how you have to dress and who you have to be. I have been trying to push

  • back, to be authentic, to follow my heart, but it can be hard.

  • But that's why I'm here. In this room, all of you, all of us, can do so much more together

  • than any one person can do alone. And I hope that thought bolsters you as much as it does

  • me. I hope the workshops you'll go to over the next few days give you strength. Because

  • I can only imagine that there are dayswhen you've worked longer hours than your boss

  • realizes or cares about, just to help a kid you know can make it. Days where you feel

  • completely alone. Undermined. Or hopeless.

  • I know there are people in this room who go to school every day and get treated like shit

  • for no reason. Or you go home and you feel like you can't tell your parents the whole

  • truth about yourself. Beyond putting yourself in one box or another, you worry about the

  • future. About college or work or even your physical safety. Trying to create that mental

  • picture of your lifeof what on earth is going to happen to youcan crush you a little

  • bit every day. It is toxic and painful and deeply unfair.

  • Sometimes it's the little, insignificant stuff that can tear you down. I try not to read

  • gossip as a rule, but the other day a website ran an article with a picture of me wearing

  • sweatpants on the way to the gym. The writer asked, "Why does [this] petite beauty insist

  • upon dressing like a massive man?"

  • Because I like to be comfortable. There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and

  • femininity that define how we are all supposed to act, dress and speak. They serve no one.

  • Anyone who defies these so-called 'norms' becomes worthy of comment and scrutiny. The

  • LGBT community knows this all too well.

  • Yet there is courage all around us. The football hero, Michael Sam. The actress, Laverne Cox.

  • The musicians Tegan and Sara Quinn. The family that supports their daughter or son who has

  • come out. And there is courage in this room. All of you.

  • I'm inspired to be in this room because every single one of you is here for the same reason.

  • You're here because you've adopted as a core motivation the simple fact that this world

  • would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another.

  • If we took just 5 minutes to recognize each other's beauty, instead of attacking each

  • other for our differences. That's not hard. It's really an easier and better way to live.

  • And ultimately, it saves lives.

  • Then again, it's not easy at all. It can be the hardest thing, because loving other people

  • starts with loving ourselves and accepting ourselves. I know many of you have struggled

  • with this. I draw upon your strength and your support, and have, in ways you will never

  • know.

  • I'm here today because I am gay. And because... maybe I can make a difference. To help others

  • have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a

  • social responsibility.

  • I also do it selfishly, because I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission.

  • I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health

  • suffered and my relationships suffered. And I'm standing here today, with all of you,

  • on the other side of all that pain. I am young, yes, but what I have learned is that love,

  • the beauty of it, the joy of it and yes, even the pain of it, is the most incredible gift

  • to give and to receive as a human being. And we deserve to experience love fully, equally,

  • without shame and without compromise.

  • There are too many kids out there suffering from bullying, rejection, or simply being

  • mistreated because of who they are. Too many dropouts. Too much abuse. Too many homeless.

  • Too many suicides. You can change that and you are changing it.

  • But you never needed me to tell you that. That's why this was a little bit weird. The

  • only thing I can really say is what I've been building up to for the past five minutes.

  • Thank you. Thank for inspiring me. Thank you for giving me hope, and please keep changing

  • the world for people like me.

  • Happy Valentine's Day. I love you.

Thank you Chad, for those kind words and for the even kinder work that you and the Human

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