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  • This is an office.

  • It is where many of you will spend the majority of your waking life.

  • And these are the things that will inevitably happen while you're there.

  • You will begin your time working in an office, wearing your finest clothing, only to wind up not giving a sh*t.

  • Regardless of your best intentions, you will develop an addiction to caffeine.

  • No matter what your relationship status, you will develop some sort of crush on a co-worker.

  • You will fall into one of two camps: The people who are always freezing... or the people who are constantly hot.

  • You will start with one personal item in your office drawer and then one day you'll open it up and realize your entire life is in there.

  • Someone in your office will creep you out.

  • And you will bond with someone else over mutually being creeped out.

  • You will get exceptionally good at hiding Facebook on your computer.

  • At some point, you will hear one of your co-workers pooping.

  • That will be a low point.

  • You'll come face-to-face with the co-worker in the restroom and realize that they don't wash their hands and that will change everything.

  • You'll gain at least five pounds of fat from all the birthday cookies, cakes and red velvet cupcakes that keep floating around.

  • And just when you try to cut down on the sweets, your co-workers will pull you back in.

  • You will fantasize about doing unspeakably strange things to your co-workers.

  • At some point, you'll bring a personal friend to visit and it will be unexpectedly awkward to introduce them to anyone you work with.

  • You will get really excited about being good at some small task and then hate it once everyone else starts asking you to do it for them.

  • And you will form a group of friends in that office who will make every day a whole lot better.

This is an office.

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