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  • Forgiveness - What? How? And Most Of AllWhy?

  • Holidays are a tough time for many people because most of us have family issues. People

  • are depressed either because they don’t have a family, or theyre depressed because

  • they do and it’s a mess. That makes the holidays an opportune time to talk about the

  • subject of Forgivenesswhat it is, how to go about doing it and most of all why.

  • What Is Forgiveness?

  • Hurt and anger are natural and normal responses when a wrong has been done to us. In fact,

  • it is healthier to acknowledge that we were hurt than to pretend that everything is fine.

  • It’s not about whining, it’s about honesty. Denial will turn into resentments that fester

  • in dark places. We cannot heal until we are honest with ourselves.

  • But there is such a thing astoo much honesty’; once we have felt our anger, perhaps stewed

  • and grieved for a time we need to let it go or it will turn against us. Holding on to

  • anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. Were the only ones

  • getting hurt. It becomes a necessity to take our foot off the neck of the offender.

  • We cannot wait until the injury is healed. It is not like taking off a bandage after

  • the wound has healed. In this case the wound cannot really heal unless the bandage comes

  • off first. Forgiveness is not something we do for the offender; it is necessary to do

  • it for ourselves in order to heal.

  • How To Forgive

  • So everyone tells us to do it but nobody tells us how. The reason there aren’t any instructions

  • for forgiveness is because it is not really a thing in itself.

  • Forgiveness is not a process one can follow step by step; rather it is an awareness we

  • gain. As long as we are caught up in tunnel vision all we can see is the injury and the

  • wrong that has been done. In order for Forgiveness to occur we must step back and see the bigger

  • picture. In order to see the big picture we must turn to Truth.

  • The Blame Game

  • It seems that almost everyone has taken a certain amount of damage from his or her childhood.

  • It seems that way but that’s not really true. Truth is that we did not enter this

  • incarnation with a blank slate. We already had a certain energetic frequency level; the

  • same level at which we left the last lifetime. We picked our parents accordingly, based on

  • a frequency that matched our own; otherwise we could not have attracted them.

  • Our parents were people who consciously or unconsciously made themselves available to

  • bring us into this physical world. They lent us their DNA out of which our bodies were

  • formed. Without them we could not be here. Regardless of their level of parenting skills

  • we owe them a karmic debt of gratitude for this.

  • The Iceberg Principles teach us that in this Universe our life experiences are reflections

  • of our own beliefs and perceptions. Although our family’s criticisms, lack of support,

  • and abuse were real it could not have happened unless there was a match to our own beliefs

  • and perceptions about what we deserved. The level of esteem at which we held ourselves

  • became reflected in our parent’s treatment of us. Since most of labored under the belief

  • that we are much less than perfect, our childhood experiences reflected this.

  • What this means for us today is that we can stop playing the blame game. We can stop assigning

  • culpability for our experiences to our parents. If they had given us anything different we

  • would not have been able to perceive it. It would not have been a match to us. We can

  • stop meting out punishment; our parent’s behavior was simply a reflection of our highest

  • level of awareness for us at the time. Their treatment of us was the best we could imagine

  • for ourselves then.

  • The Best We Can Do

  • We do not come from our parents; we come through them. We share their physical DNA and we share

  • a similar energetic frequency. This is the reason we appear so similarities to them.

  • Bear in mind that the thing you most hate about your parents must also be in you, otherwise

  • you could not see it.

  • My point is that you parents are people just like you. Just like you they did not come

  • with a manual on how to act. Just like you they made mistakes. Just like you they can

  • only ever do the best they can.

  • In some instances it might have appeared as if they were being intentionally mean. This

  • might be true, however their actions were nevertheless rooted in ignorance. Nobody can

  • hurt anybody else without first and finally hurting himself or herself first. If they

  • had knows what they were doing to themselves, on an energetic, karmic level, they would

  • not have done so. As it stood they were operating at their highest level of awareness. They

  • may have fallen far short of proper conduct but it is still they best of which they are

  • capable. Nobody can know more than they know.

  • Breaking The Cycle

  • Nobody can jump over his or her own shadow. The only way to break the cycle of hurt is

  • to give them a break. Sometimes the very thought of giving a break to someone who has hurt

  • us deeply is offensive but it is the only way to stop the pain that we are feeling.

  • The key to finding forgiveness is the recognition that everyone is always operating at his or

  • her highest level of awareness. The moment we give somebody else a break we give ourselves

  • a break, too. The moment we let them off the hook we can feel something inside of us let

  • go. Our feeling for the other person may be less than loving but if we continue to hold

  • them in condemnation we are the ones who continue to get hurt. As long as we hold on to our

  • righteous angerit is ourselves we hold imprisoned.

  • The Huge Pay-Off

  • Our family members reflect all of us . They reflect our worst in us but they also reflect

  • our very best. As long as we remain focused on the bad we never get to the good. What

  • we focus on always looms largest. As long as we remain focused on our family’s mistakes

  • we miss the good parts in them, and therefore we miss the good parts in ourselves as well.

  • Nobody’s childhood was all-bad. No matter how horrible things might have been, there

  • were happy moments that should be treasured but these moments remain locked away from

  • memory as long as we only focus on the bad stuff. Unless we choose to end the cycle we

  • can never experience the good again. Now however it is no longer on the offender; now it is

  • us who is keeping the offense alive. We become the guilty party.

  • When we forgive the beautiful moments come back to us. This focus in the good is ultimately

  • this is the only way in which we can finally; permanently heal the wounds of our childhood.

  • The True Spirit Of The Holidays

  • As you stop the cycle of anger towards your familywhether alive or deadyou break

  • your own karmic cycle of ignorance and clear away the karmic misconceptions, which created

  • the circumstances of your birth. You clean the slate. Your energetic frequency increases

  • and you become ever more aware of your true nature, which is love.

  • As you become more loving it not only reflects in your own experience but also in the world

  • around you. When you give yourself permission to forgive you literally make the world a

  • better place and isn’t that after all what the holidays are really all about?

Forgiveness - What? How? And Most Of AllWhy?

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