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  • Marie:              Hey it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV,

  • the place to be to create a business and life you love. I’ve got a question for you. Do

  • you ever feel like you self sabotage around money? Ever wonder if you have some limiting

  • beliefs from childhood that are holding you? Whether youve got mountains of debt or

  • you just can't seem to get ahead? Most of us have a next financial level that we would

  • love to get to. If that sounds like you, you are in for a treat today because you're going

  • to learn about four money beliefs that may be holding you back and how to fix them.

  • Kate Northrup is the bestselling author of Money: A Lost Story, Untangle your Financial

  • Woes and Create the Life You Really Want. She created financial freedom for herself

  • at the age of 28 through building a team of more than 1,000 wellness entrepreneurs in

  • the network marketing industry. Her philosophy is that if you free yourself financial, you

  • can be fully present to your purpose on the planet. She's been featured on the Today Show,

  • the Huffington Post, Glamour and more.

  • Miss Kate Northrup, thank you so much for being on MarieTV.

  • Kate:           Thank you so much for having me.

  • Marie:                     I just got to say once again. Money: A Love

  • Story, amazing book by Kate. If you don’t have it, go out and get it ASAP.

  • Lets talk money because weve been friends for years and I love talking about money.

  • I think it’s an amazing topic, it’s an integral part of our lives and I'm really

  • passionate about it. So many people, especially this time in the world, so many people are

  • struggling financially and a lot of people aren’t, so there's really a possibility

  • for us all to get to that next level. I'm curious. Why are you so passionate about this

  • topic?

  • Kate:           I really see money as a tool for people to be able to show up

  • in a bigger way. Money is neither negative nor positive; it just is a tool for us to

  • make change. If we've got a lot of financial chaos going on, were worried about how

  • am I going to put food on the table, how am I going to pay the rent, where's the mortgage

  • going to come from. That takes up a lot of bandwidth, a lot of our creative bandwidth,

  • a lot of our power bandwidth and were not able to show up in the same way as if our

  • financial lives were in order and taken care so that we could then come over here and do

  • the things that are higher leveraged that are really of service. Getting it together

  • financially is really just a vehicle for being able to show up more fully in your purpose.

  • Marie:                     I agree with that 100%. You know my story where

  • I started off thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in debt and it sucked;

  • it was really hard to think about how to create everything when I wasam I going to have

  • enough to pay rent or to eator anything like that. I know for you, youve come a

  • very far way in a short couple of years, personally financially. Can you tell us a little bit

  • about your story and how big of a change youve made in these past couple of years?

  • Kate:           Sure. I moved to New York when I was 22 and I promptly got

  • myself into about $20,000 worth of credit card debt, probably a little bit more at some

  • points, and I didn’t even know that that was the number until several years in because

  • I had my head dipped so deeply in the sand avoiding looking at it. I was just like “I’ll

  • just spend and spendand they were on things that were business stuff and courses; it’s

  • not like I had a closet full of Jimmy Choos, but it was still way beyond my means. I noticed

  • I was so unconscious about money and I was so avoidant and I was so scared to look at

  • the whole truth.

  • Marie:                     I have a question for you. Would you get bills

  • that they would come in and you just wouldn’t open them and you'd stick them in a drawer?

  • Did you pay minimums?

  • Kate:           Yeah. I knew what my minimum was on every card and I had a lot

  • of them, so it was like this shell game where I would just pay a little more than the minimum

  • which made me feel like I'm making a little progress, but I really wasn’t and I was

  • just in this quagmire and I felt really unauthentic because I was out running a business, I was

  • teaching women about different streams of income and thinking in new ways about cash

  • flows, but behind the scenes, I had all this financial chaos and I knew I wasn’t taking

  • responsibility for it. For the whole thing, it felt really awful and it was that way around

  • the time that you and I met and I was hiding it.

  • Marie:                     Really? That’s so interesting. You were hiding it

  • from most of the world publically and so how long did it take for you to reach that breaking

  • point where you were like, “I've had enough, I got to handle this, I can't do this anymore,

  • it just hurts too much”?

  • Kate:           It was about four years. I always was a good earner so it was

  • never like I couldn’t eat or anything. I could always just keep me little nose above

  • the surface so I could still breathe and it was about four years that I finally sat myself

  • down and saidYou know what? Enough is enough,” and I realized that I was holding

  • myself back from being able to be in my full ability to make change in the world by being

  • in financial chaos. I knew that was a way I was keeping myself small and so I just finally

  • decided to do something about it.

  • Marie:                     Let’s fast forward. What are the numbers? How much

  • debt did you get yourself out of and how fast did you do it?

  • Kate:           When I really made some significant changes in my life, I was

  • in about $20,000 and six months later, I had paid it all off basically in one fell swoop

  • and doubled my income and doubled my savings and it was amazing what happened when I just

  • got my rear in gear and made some critical mindset shifts which were going to talk

  • about today and it all worked out. It’s kind of shocking.

  • Marie:                     Isn’t it amazing when that happens and when you

  • actually tell the truth and stop lying? It is so huge. I know it can feel so scary. It’s

  • not about money but back in my early 20s when I was engaged to be married to someone that

  • I knew I wasn’t going to married, but I was terrified of breaking it off because our

  • finances were co-mingled and I was just so scared. I only lasted about six months in

  • a lie but living that lie, I think we've all experienced that on some level where you know

  • something is not right, you're hiding something big but you don’t have the courage quite

  • yet to break through.

  • I love this topic because were going to dive into these money beliefs; they're almost

  • like money lies that were telling ourselves, and if you could just tell yourself the truth,

  • there's this incredible opening that can happen and literally your whole life really can change

  • just by changing something on the inside.

  • Kate:           And fast. It doesn’t have to take a long time.

  • Marie:                     I've had some stories from clients, from friends

  • and people that we've had some tough money conversations, not tough between us personally,

  • but just being there and supporting them through it and watching how quickly things can turn

  • around. I've had some people that have been in $100,000 or $200,000 in debt, even if that

  • number doesn’t go away as quickly as yours did, it goes down really fast but more importantly

  • who they are in the world changes significantly.

  • Kate:           That’s the whole point; it’s not about the money.

  • Marie:                     It’s not about the money and it is about the money.

  • Let’s get into it. You say were going to focus on four beliefs today and the first

  • one that hold us back is someone else should or will do this for me.

  • Kate:           We take our financial power and we just give it to somebody else.

  • It’s so much easier to just saywill you just do this for meorhey boss,

  • can you just do this for meorhey prince charming, future husband who hasn’t showed

  • up yet, hell probably take care of it for me,” so I’ll just bide my time and keep

  • being irresponsible until that point. For me it was that I hoped that my mom would just

  • take care of it for me someday. It’s so embarrassing to even just say that right now

  • but it’s true; I wrote about it in my book so it’s out there.

  • That is symptomatic of us really feeling like were not enough to do it and it’s just

  • sayingthis is too scary, I don’t have what it takes, I'm not smart enough,” and

  • so we wait and we never turn on our full potential because were hoping somebody else will

  • swoop in at some point and save us.

  • Marie:                     It’s a big one. There's certainly been areas in

  • my life where I was thinking that someone else was going to handle it for me and I'm

  • pretty sure money was it back in the day and now it almost feels like a different human

  • being that used to think that way, but it is a big one.

  • Belief number two: I'm not good with money. This is a big one.

  • Kate:           This is a really big one. Have you ever seen a baby be born

  • and be able to talk and walk?

  • Marie:                     No. On YouTube sometimes.

  • Kate:           But that pretty much never happens. We've all learned the skills

  • we have and so to think like you're just not good with money is holding you back. Our beliefs

  • become our actions, we act in accordance with what our beliefs are and then our actions

  • obviously create our results. That’s just kind of a basic equation for life and when

  • we think I'm not good with money, were setting ourselves up for failure and we actually

  • avoid taking financial steps because we have that thought.

  • Instead you can take really small actions to start to build your confidence, and the

  • one that I did, again I was really pretty remedial with this, so when I started off,

  • I was like “I just am going to check my bank account balance everyday,” and when

  • I do that, I'm going to give some gratitude for the ways my life is abundant. I knew if

  • I could just check in with money daily and start being in that relationship and paying

  • attention to it, it would be powerful. When I started doing that every day I set a little

  • Google calendar alarm, 8:30 am, ‘check your bank account balance.’ My income increased

  • and I stopped spending more than I made. It was just like paying attention pays off and

  • I started to be better and better with money because I was paying attention to it.

  • Marie:                     I love that. Also, the things that we tell ourselves,

  • we joke around a lot about it here on MarieTV. There are some times where were shooting

  • an episode and literally I'm flubbing this line that I really want to get across again

  • and again and were all joking and every explicative comes out, and I say “I got

  • this.” I tell myself “I got this,” and wouldn’t you know nine times out of ten,

  • I'm likebamand I get it and I deliver that line. It’s the same thing with “I'm

  • not good with money.” If you tell yourself you're not good with money, you're never going

  • to take the steps to do anything about it and it’s almost like you just got blinders

  • on and you're never going to take them off.

  • I love that simple step of just checking in daily and the other thing I like about it

  • is it can remove the fear. I know for me there was a time when opening my checkbook was really

  • scary and it actually produced physical sensations of wanting to throw up because there wasn’t

  • enough in there, at least that’s the story I told myself. There was actually enough in

  • there because here I am, I didn’t disintegrate and I wasn’t getting taken off to jail or

  • something, but that was the feeling.

  • Kate:           We can train ourselves like Pavlov’s dog to spend that time with

  • our bank account and look at it and then automatically say, “I'm going to name three things in

  • my life that I'm grateful for that feel abundant.” You're training and rewiring your brain so

  • that you're associating looking at your money with feeling good.

  • Marie:                     I love that. Money belief number three: people

  • with money are greedy or it’s not spiritual to have money.

  • Kate:           I know that this is one you actually covered with Marianne

  • Williams in your audio, which was so fantastic. When we have a judgment against somebody for

  • having something and it’s very common with money, there's this whole lack mentality of

  • rich people are greedy, theyve stepped on other people to get there or something.

  • First of all that’s assumption. We never know really how people got where they're at

  • and chances are pretty good that they worked hard to get there and they deserve it because

  • of the time theyve put in.

  • When we judge them, automatically our subconscious mind will never allow us to have the abundance

  • or prosperity that we want if were judging other people for having it. Why would it let

  • us be the evil person that were saying they're bad because they have money or they're

  • selfish or they're dishonest?

  • Anytime that comes up, and also, anytime it comes upit’s not spiritual to be rich

  • or to have money,” money is a stand in for what we value. If somebody wants something

  • that you offer, like B-School for example, and they value it according to the amount

  • that it costs, that’s a service. That’s an exchange of value for value that’s tremendous

  • and the value they're receiving in their life is huge and then you get to receive that in

  • exchange. That’s all that money is; just trading value for value. When we add value

  • to somebody else’s life, to me that’s a spiritual act to say, “I see that you

  • have a need and I have something I can help you withthen to receive an exchange for

  • that is how it should be. That is the flow, so if we start to see money as a means of

  • value exchange and as a means of how can I look at the world and say where can I add

  • value, where can I help somebody, then the whole thing begins to be rewired and we realize,

  • “I will become more prosperous to the degree that I am able to add value to somebody’s

  • life.”

  • Marie:                     I love that. That’s beautiful and I get really

  • up in arms about that whole judging people not spiritual to have money. Money belief

  • number four: I'm not ___ enough.”

  • Kate:           I'm not ____ enough; it could be “I'm not smart enough, I'm not

  • talented enough, I didn’t come from the right background.” Whatever it is, it’s

  • immediately taking you out of the game. Anytime we don’t value ourselves, what ends up happening

  • is when were out in the world, even if were providing really good value, if were

  • not seeing our worth, were not going to get the value and exchange for that. No one

  • will value you more than you value yourself.

  • We need to learn to value ourselves and you can really practically, the whole self love

  • thing, when I hear about it-

  • Marie:                     Do you roll your eyes?

  • Kate:           I do and I teach it at the same time because it’s really

  • important and pretty much I think the solution to anything is loving yourself more buthow

  • do I do that and what does that even mean.” Really practically what you can do is get

  • out a journal and every night for at least 21 days because that’s what studies show

  • it takes to form a new habit, write in there three things you value about yourself or three

  • ways that you added value to somebody’s life that day. You could be like “I was

  • so funny today on MarieTVor I could say “I did a Skype interview today and I know

  • I added value to whoever’s going to watch that one.”

  • Whatever it is, what were doing is were building that muscle and training ourselves

  • to notice things that we value about ourselves and things that are valuable about us, and

  • ways that we've added value to somebody else’s life which will tune our radar in so that

  • during the day, were seeing more opportunities and we saying “I could add a little value

  • over there, there's an opportunity there,” and it makes us better business people and

  • it makes us better humans. That’s a great way to train yourself and write those three

  • things down every day and it'll make you feel the next day “I did something.” It’s

  • a fabulous way to celebrate yourself and to increase your value.

  • Marie:                     I have to say I love this one. Not so long ago,

  • we did an episode about valuing your worth and we were aiming that at artists and creatives,

  • and it was shocking and beautiful to me and heartbreaking at the same time to see how

  • many of us struggling with that. It doesn’t matter what level you're at. You could feel

  • like you're just starting out on your financial journey or your career journey, or you can

  • be further along and there's times for me where the little fear comes up. I love that

  • suggestion also because adding value to someone’s life could mean smiling. It could be an act

  • of kindness. It can be taking a pause and making a phone call and letting someone know

  • that you love them. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a business transaction; it can actually

  • be really a beautiful act of kindness and love and compassion that you put out into

  • the world.

  • Kate:           And the value we receive back, the abundance we receive back

  • might be financial and it might be something else. You and I both know that abundance is

  • a lot of different things; it’s our health, it's our relationships, it's our peace of

  • mind. A life that’s rich and wealthy is a lot of different things beyond your bank

  • account.

  • Marie:                     Kate, this was awesome. Thank you so much for coming.

  • What a rich discussion and hopefully well keep talking about this and were going