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Dr Martin Luther King once said, There comes a time We're sorry, is betrayed.
There comes a time we're side is betrayal.
I'm not really happy.
I am the board here in Pakistan where impact has two programs one focused on a girl and one of these no boy girl program that is the strength basements or in program is called unique in our strength based program for our boys called me as a servant leader.
One thing we all know very well in that silence and then touring or silence relationship cannot coexist.
So what does that mean for boys?
They like me.
What that lever boys color are brown boy in our black boys.
What does that mean?
What that means is there has to be individuals who are working every day to make sure they're able to stay focused, that they understand that they cared about and that things are continuing to be consistent in their lot.
Now I know people probably have questions for just coming out here being a woman talking about engaging black boys and mentoring.
And so I prepared myself with needs for you The reason why I'm coming with this dog because even to me.
I was surprised years ago when I began the academic coach for close to 30 high school boy.
There were, but they were always color, and what I learned in that moment has continued to engage.
It all started out.
I could give the coaching a team crack and after school, working on assignments and what soon turned into what they close relation, I'm sure, getting to know, building life principles and helping he'll understand and discover their strengths, those of which now, today you see very clearly.
But it didn't start that way.
So today I'm gonna take you to a short journey a minute or so for boys of color and how they can help them going forward.
I don't believe in a room full of leaders that it is necessary that we say, mindful of those who may have other concerns right, consistency and care, there are what, sitting face to face with a little guy and go.
Additionally, he smiled back at me.
I've been feeding hands clenching has seen in that moment I would say Let's get to work.
Let's stay focused.
Let's talk about your goal or I can acknowledge I could connect.
We're busy motion I could try to understand.
And the rest of our leaders we know Stephen, come in and have a fine.
We're to seek first to understand, then to be understood.
So am I, sir, As a mentor and a servant leader.
That is the one thing that I will always keep in mind every day.
And in that moment it was.
My job is shifting from supporting him to support him socially, being able to be bursting, told to do both consistently brought a relationship.
Thanks a lot.
I don't know that I can teach, but what I can say is that if you have those young boys show you their strength.
So there we were, face to face.
And now we continue to talk.
I was able to share with him my background being mental health there.
I said to him, I see that you've seen tense.
I don't know you are, but you seem to be tense.
I know Fishing.
Reading the side of the chair.
Tell me what happened at that moment.
Like many boys, he said nothing.
He put his head.
Now most of us would normally say when I'm talking to you one of the main keys in a relationship when it comes down to trust and being able to meet people where they are.
There was nothing that was doing at that moment that threatened me.
So my level of respect for him allowed tohave his moment in the same space.
I was blown away when he looked up to see him getting the water, and I said, Well, what's happening with you?
Tell me what's coming up?
Because I came here today to talk about your academics.
Of course, we always talk about the athletic ability, but I see something changing for you.
He went on to share how things at home were shifting for him, and he didn't know how to navigate.
And if I could play in the words a black or brown boy that I met, it was simply they're arguing with every night.
So I go to my room in the music I listen to does not help.
It is not allowing to drown how the feeling that I had, even when I'm not hearing is the field they have.
Their was affecting you, me in the position that I I was in and one stride to be great.
It's always let these young people know that they trust me in that moment when he was able to share a vulnerable part of his life with me.
I mean, that way we're heading, however my profession, when you begin to get your your TV, your client to open up.
That hurt because they continued to say, What do I do when my sister's next door crying?
Because she, too, is worried about Mommy and we love Daddy.
But he's not always here when he comes, it written about such pain that I cannot describe in a moment.
There was a time it wasn't an affair.
Sometimes we have to work to sit with silence, so let people feel and not let him feel.
But the power I'm feeling it with them changes the dynamic in the room.
So we sat for and I said to him, and you do me a favor.
Could you take your hands off the side?
Because that tension and it's not helping.
Do you mind putting your hands together or placing them on your lap?
He was able to do that and you want to know why that is important it is show they feel with me.
He was still able to process with things that I was staying with his parents in motion of what occurred the night before.
So what does this have to do with Mentor?
I bring this up because most of the time we go into interaction with others always having a go.
But I'm here to share with you.
As long as the outcome is successful, that means we reached it.
Whether or not that day that moment, he and I would they want to talk about great his classroom behavior.
Cheers.
It didn't matter what mattered was on, and it was my job.
It was my service to me.
Where what?
So we said.
And we talked through that time and we created a plan.
As we know, planning is necessary and we were down with the plane.
That resource is connected to this plane, and I'm a little parent communication building relationships with them and that what was critical Most of the time we see an individual, especially boys that are black ground.
A lot of time are jumped, the better.
They may not have anyone the importance of minutes horses even went home, Maybe rough if they have a solid minutes or that changes everything.
This could be an informal mentor or a more moments.
But what that person.
Now they bring structure to what at one moment could be chaos.
Then it becomes structure all because of your consistency.
Consistency then reads vulnerability.
And no, that's not one of my main point because you really have to be devoted toe Welcome.
Some vulnerability.
We have to be prepared for that.
You have to be prepared for whatever they share, whatever they throw out, and it's up to them whether or not they trust you enough to be coming home.
So here we are, here, here for someone.
I want to be very clear.
Do not miss Chute care for affection.
They are not to care.
Is one ability to be devoted to that individual?
I mean that we're going to work together through these things because that is my role in your life fending off.
We'll see the in the pats on the back and all those things that I see so many people would do to our little Brown.
But I have to be honest with you because I grew up with a single mother, me and my brother.
And it wasn't just a soul.
These problems with the place we need support.
We need to trust individuals.
We need you to be there.
Said you're gonna be there.
And that's when we know that you are gonna be So what?
That means that I always look back.
I always compare.
That's what keeps me home.
As a mentor, I have to remember what I needed so that I could try to leave.
Be that for somebody else.
Then you see change as you see here.
These are the guys that I mentor in.
May not program on one side.
You see, you're in the cafeteria, we're just eating.
And for boys were actually that's all from, however, as we continue on that consistently, that consistency made me whole bill The relationship with both ways.
It was reciprocated.
They want Oh, she cares about me.
She was.
Now what?
Well, tell me never having to say to them.
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
You better respect me.
Never, ever had to say, but because of my consistency, they naturally and that's what I'll do that when you see me working with Leiber, that was our s a T prep.
We had what we call Saturday.
Well, we could go to the little, realize their facility and work on these goals.
I wanted them to know that, Yes, I understand where we are emotionally, but no, we're not gonna let that get in the way of your success.
Okay?
Yes, I understand what you're experiencing, but because I know you can do with that expectation Hold, too.
But not I'm not a general expectation.
Together, we are gonna work at your business together.
So you see, when they graduated that with my time to celebrate and then eventually meet with them, that I got experience, that success with them.
So that's that they always coming this grid.
So that was pretty much same everywhere.
And this is what I'm gonna wrap up with you guys on today.
What I want you to understand is that the value for our round black boys seems to be very low based upon with the here and see every day.
That is not mean.
That is what we hold in our hearts.
But from the Countess conversation that I had even those who are currently working on her doctorate degrees, even though who have their business, even those who are in the military.
What we see and what we hear is that they don't feel the support that we have a community say we are giving, and it has to stop being just a check box because they are more than a check box and they didn't deserve.
And that has always been my value to you that I will.
And so, in my consistent care, it takes you from being a young person who can't understand why crying in front of your mentor to being one who is preparing to graduate.
What, your doctor degree beating the in spite of what everyone else said and I what emotional down towards you had.
So here I am, starting with the king.
In here we have friends who has certain and express that we build strong Children, and it's easier to build strong Children than it is to repair broken men.
We have to take the time that we're putting into speak negative or two counts or someone state.
We need to take speaker, get those things, start to speak light into these young men and young boys who need I tell, but I'm not gonna give you once wanted.
Change, Merlin.
Because everything you see no and behind that young guy may be walking around with his head.
I'm gonna call that strength.
That is insurmountable.
It all really takes one person to say to them I have.
So as I thank them and you see my little guy there who was two years old, we have to No way.
We have to show so they can go away.
I think you all so much for your time.
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The Changing Paradigm: Millennials & Wealth | Dr. Brittany Hazzard | TEDxGoldeyBeacomCollegeSalon

8 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on March 20, 2020
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