I'm like a 35 now, which don't like huge been modeling.

It's like, huge.

I'm a model.

I'm a model.

I'm I'm I am a model.

A couple weeks before my first season started, my ex boyfriend and I got in a giant fight.

I kind of went this like, really, really low place, where I just like, couldn't eat just kind of lost, like a lot of weight from that.

And then when I went to the agency and I took digitals, I got all these options was when I was, like, the sickest I've ever been.

I went to meet with the agency and they measured me, and they told me that I needed to lose.

I think it was like two inches off my hips and maybe two off my waist.

I was a perfectionist, so I associate ID doing a good job with modeling with losing the weight.

So I did, and it started out as just being more mindful, I guess, and then it did escalate and escalate and escalate my lowest weight was £98 when I was 17 and that was after I had just done a very successful season in Paris.

There was one costing in London.

I was 17.

I remember walking into the room full of people on.

The designer gave me this body suit to put on.

There was no changing room.

She made me just shot, like get naked.

And she took one look at my body and kind of snickered and laughed, said, That's not gonna work and then walked out of the room, left me there naked, put back on my clothes in a room full of people.

When you're 15 you already have all this pressure all over, you know, and to have everybody watch you grow up and just judge you when all that kind of stuff was what stuff, you know, he went to Paris, and after the first day of castings, my agency told me that the response from my first day of castings for shows is that I had gained too much weight and was unusable for the shows.

We flew home the following day, and the day after that, there was a headline on the front page of the fashion section of The Wall Street Journal that said a model Aly Michael sent home for being too fat.

I have this expose on the thing that I felt most insecure about in my life.

Reaching everyone was absolutely mortifying.

Um, I don't know.

I feel like I was publicly shamed.

But, you know, I also just, like shouldn't be a big deal, really.

But it did affect me at the time.

I want to talk fine.

And I didn't want a lot of people kind of putting cameras in my face and Premarin for incomes of newspapers.

What I was receiving for many years was that my body was not right, and it's it's almost impossible to every stat.

And I thought that I had really gotten it under control and that I was in a really healthy police.

And I earlier this month got the opportunity to cast for it.

This job that I wanted for my whole career and they tell you a month ahead of time so you can get ready for it.

And the entire month was like torture for me.

Did you get the job?

No.

I came into this industry as a teenager.

And then I hit puberty and I was no longer that teenager anymore.

I had boobs and, you know, my body wasn't his stick skinny anymore.

So I was pressured to go back to being that runway girl.

I almost was told that, like modeling was done for me and then Sports Illustrated kind of re launch my career.

So it was a really amazing moment because it was me being me on the cover of a magazine and fully being accepted and embracing myself.

You don't just take the picture and go home, and then you don't know what happens with it.

This image where I've put myself out there in this way or I've been really vulnerable and and re allow and shown it all and just gone for it has helped in some domino effect.

This woman look at herself differently.

Put on a bikini, go to the beach, have fun with her friends, and it completely changed.

Why and how I do this job.

People always think, How are you so confident?

Like, Where did you get it?

And it's like I open up a box and it doesn't warrant today.

But like I worked really hard to be 26 like, okay with who I am and to do what I care about which at the end of the day is just creating space for more people to feel scene.

I booked the editorial and was freaking out, and I didn't really know that that would be the turning point of my career.

Once I saw the physical cover and my face was there with the masthead, it felt like time stopped.

And now we started for sure, a new chapter.