Name: Never Doing This Again.
Uploaded: 2020-03-18T10:22:13.000Z
Duration: 13 min 54 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The last few weeks in the beauty community and then some of our personal lives have been very insane.

Gerund

I know a lot of you are sick and tired of hearing about the subject.

I know a lot of you are expecting to get a lot of tea today.

I know the whole world is sitting here wondering What is Jeffery Starr going to say next?

Um, and I think that this will be one of the most important videos that I ever upload.

About 10 days ago, Tati uploaded a video about James Charles.

There was a lot happening behind the scenes.

And I think today I would like to shed some light on the entire experience because I think that things are getting crazy dangerous, and we need to have a conversation.

There was mentions of me in there, and I want to be very transparent with my audience for hours yesterday, it took me back to the old Jeffrey, and I was in a very dark place.

I sat there for hours and it started to get really dark in my head.

And what I mean by that is that you guys know me for always sticking up for what I believe in.

You know that I'm brutally honest on my channel.

Whether it's a makeup review, a conversation about someone else or any part of drama or anything that I've ever been in in the past, I have been very out spoken, and sometimes I've spoken too much.

Um, and I think that this week was definitely one of those scenarios.

Now most of you have seen some brutal tweets that I sent out last week.

Ah, lot of you have seen the vicious text messages that I sent, and I want to let you understand something because I said those things that does not equal me hating James Charles.

He has been in my life for a few years now.

I loved and cared about him, and I definitely think I mishandled our friendship, which I will dive into in a minute.

But I want to let you guys know that there is no actual hate in this heart.

Um, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I need to get a few things off my chest.

And one of those things is that behind the scenes, there was definitely weird feelings.

Everyone over the last few days keeps asking about the Seattle trip, about the text messages, and I really want to let you guys know something after Seattle.

Everyone has their own version of the story.

I am not going to give the world what they want, and I don't think that everyone wants this from me.

But I think that there is a major portion that thinks Jeffery Starr is going to come for James because I was in a dark place yesterday.

I said some things online about pulling receipts and showing things, and I sat there with myself and I sat there with my mother and I sat there with Nathan, and we fully fully understand the power of millions of people watching and what my voice and what this channel actually means to me.

And what it means is that I don't want to play the games anymore.

I sat there yesterday and I started to get really angry.

I was gonna pull old text messages from other people that don't want to be involved.

And I was just getting into a place where it wasn't healthy.

And thank God I'm in the headspace that I am today because I stopped those feelings.

I am not going to fuel this fire bigger so everyone can get more entertainment.

Because behind the scenes this isn't funny.

And I inserted myself into something publicly that I shouldn't have.

And I think that I need to let you guys know where I'm at today and where I've been this entire year.

I have a good group of people around me, and I think sometimes we slip into our old ways.

They want me to sit here and degrade James.

They want me to open up my phone and expose it all.

I'm done doing that, and it may be shocking.

Some of you may be like, Oh, you're just trying to save your own ass.

I'm willing to bite the bullet and let anyone think what they want.

But today I will not be posting voice memos.

I'm embarrassed by my own actions, and a lot of you may be like, Whoa.

I could have handled things differently after Seattle.

Yes, me and Nate were very uncomfortable with some things that had happened.

We were kind of getting distant from James, and we really weren't on the same vibe.

But what I should have done is vented all my feelings to James.

And I know that taught you got to do that.

I should have been mature enough to say, Hey, I love and care about you.

I don't want you to see things that I've written to someone and think Wow, like Jeffrey is an evil person.

I want to let you guys know that there is a big piece of the story that I don't think a lot of people know.

And that's that behind the scenes there were people in my head.

There were people telling me a lot of stuff.

I mean, people that had known James they were being very I don't know the right word, but they were telling me things that was making me feel a whole other way.

Um, should I have let other people get in my head and sway my opinion about someone?

I have let people get in my head for years.

I have let others and their opinions somehow get to me.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Never Doing This Again.

entire

absolutely

insane

situation