Well, itwasweirdbecauseobviously, itforcedmetothinkabouttheaspectsofmylifeinmaybethings I hadn't thoughtaboutfor a while, so I founditinsomewaysquitehard, actually.
Actually, youknowwhat I think?
I thinkwhatisquitehardtotalkaboutisyourcareer.
Becauseyounoonecan.
YoucanwriteaboutyourlifeonDhe.
Youknow, thingshavehappenedtoeventsthathappenedtoyouwith a senseofownership.
Andthenveryoccasionallythey'd say, Can I getyousomething?
And I say, Yes.
Can I have a kindofcokeor a glassofwater?
Youknow, I wasrelatively, I thinkyouwouldserveisrelativelylowmaintenanceondhe.
ButtheDailyMailinthereinthere, inthereviewofthebook, wrote a thingabouthow I'm kindofhatedbythecrewbecause I sendthemofftoget.
I thinkit's funnytosendthemofftogetthespointlessthings, whichjustformyownamusementandthat I'm sothattheykindofhateme.
And I thought, Well, noandclearlyjoking.
And I'vetoldthestory.
No, no, no, Theroad.
I'm joking.
I'm stillfriendswithallthosepeople.
Somemessageeachotherlike I stilllike.
No, therewasnothiswasdonefor.
Wewerejustmuckingaboutlikeitwastheirsclearly, andit's on, andit's veryclearinthebookthat I wasjustlikejustbeingsilly, youknow, onDhe.
Buttheywrote a storyabouthowyouknowhow, how I washatedonthesetandthingslikethat.
So I think I thinkanythingyouwritewillbewillfullymisinterpretedwhenyouwritebooks.
Soyouhavetojustbereally, reallyaware.
Forinstance, thereisnot a badwordaboutDavidWilliamsinthisbook.
There's not a badwordaboutDavidWilliams.
I havenoreasontosayaboutwordabouthim, buttheystillran a storysayingTheBattleofLittleBritain, andtheywrote, I madeit.
I think I make a jokeinthebookabout, um, I makesomekindofjokeabouthowhe's nowsoldsomanyChildren's booksthat I'm talkingaboutflyinginthebookaboutthathecanhavehisownprivatejetwith a river, a pinkprivatejetwith a rivertoswimupanddownit.
It's likeit's clearly a gag.
Butagain, theDailyMailwrotesomethinglike, Oh, hey, seethingwithjealousiesfueledjealousyislike, No, I'm happyformyfriendlikestunnedtheworld.
Andtheywrote a thingabout, Ah, youknow, becausethey'vegotnobeonlikesupposedly I was, youknow, snubbedorbiter, whatever.
Andit's like, Well, no, I know I publiclycongratulatedhimwhenitwaswhenthenewscameout.
I congratulatehimagainpubliclywhenwhenhereceivedit, I alsowrotehimprivatelybecause, ofcourse, andthat, youknow, wehad a cordialintochange.
I dothink I dothinkinsomewaystherewouldbethingsyoucouldtalkabout, thatyoujustbasically, youhavetonottalkaboutthem, notbecausethey'renottrue.
But I thinksomepeopleshootyourway, liveinthecliquepage, andsocontextisnotreallyIt's notreallylikesuregivenoften, youknow, becauseactually, evenifyouhavewarmfeelingsforsomeone, they'llwritethatyoudon't, youknow, andit's andit's strangeand I wassadforDavidwhenthatstorycameout, because I thoughthe's gettinganOBEtodayandthat's hisday.
Andyetthey'vetriedtomake a storyaboutsomethingelse, and I justthoughtandhemust, youknow, justlikeWell, that's kindof a message.
No.
Well, I said I wroteintosaycongratulations, but I meanthatnocasinoshe's beendoingisstill a shadow.
Potentiallywillnotmassively, no, no, a massiveshadow.
Butit's justanexampleoffthefactthatwhenyouwrite a book, youhavetobe a wetlike, forinstance, I do Q and A's topromotethebook.
And I'm justvery, veryawarethattherearejournalistsintheaudienceofthe Q and A's, soanyjokeyoumakewillbepouncedon.
Sothesedaysbeing a comedian, youarelike a politician.
TherealityisthebookisactuallyverycandidButitiseasiertowriteaboutyourlifeinyourcareer, I found, which I alwaysthoughtwouldbetheotherwayaroundbecause, um, if I wastosay, I thoughtthisshow I didwasn't asgoodasthatshow I didorsomething.
Therewas a situationrecentlywherethere's a lineinmybookwhere I explainwhy I amnotgoingtogointodetailaboutmyrelationshipwithmylatepartner.
And I explained, Youknow, ifyoureadthebook, youunderstand, whydoyoutalk?
I dotalkaboutbereavementinthebook, but I don't talkabout a greatdealabouthimaboutourrelationship, because I feelthatthere's a newimmoralityinusinghissuffering, too, tosellinmybook.
I justthinkit's I'm notcomfortablewithitand I'veneverdoneit.
I'd neverhavedonethat.
I wenttoanawardsceremonytopickupanaward.
TheattitudeawardsonDhe.
I said a fewwordsfromthestagejusttothankthemfortheaward.
And I thoughtitwouldnotbehonesttonottalkaboutthatbecauseit's been a big, youknow, a big, bigpartofmylifeforthepastfewyears.
But I wouldnotbesocheapandsocrassastogiveaninterviewwhere I talkaboutiton.
Thatoffendedmeonhisbehalfbecausetheimpressiongivenwasthatyouhad, withthefalseimpressionthatthefalseimpressionthere's a lineinthebookwhere I explainwhy I won't talkabouthim, andtheytookthatlineandputitasif I'd givenitisaninterviewand I hadn't.
I realizeinthegrandschemeofthings, mostpeoplewouldreadit, notevennoticeit.
Butit's youletmeuseyougonnarun a phrasebywhichjustpoppedintomyheadwhileyouweretalking.
Yousoundyouspeaklike a manwhowhoworriesthatyoulosecustodyofyourowncharacterwhenthenewspapersgetholdofWell, thatwhatyou'vejustpoppedrightnowlisteningtoyou, you'realmostdescribing.
I amMay I may, I think, deeply, moredeeplythanperhapspeopleappreciateforsomeonewho's achievedfamebybeingsilly.
You'reverydeepthinker, andyouthinkdeeplyaboutaboutyourselfandyourrelationshipwithpeopleinwiththeworld, andthentheselazyjourneysofwhich I usedtobeone.
I havetobehonest.
I was a tabloidjournalistwhoforgotthatfamouspeoplewerehumanbeingsandmoldedquotestoejustget a biggerimpact.
Thestory I wouldn't havedonethisstuffthatyou'vejustdescribedit.
Everyonehascertainstandards, butyouthenhave a portrayalinpublicthatyoudon't recognizeasbeingyouand.
EspeciallywhenwhenlittleBritainwasinitsheyday, youwouldhavehadoneofthemostrecognizablefacesinthecountryandthenbringswithit a senseofownershipThesepeoplethinktheyownyou.
Andthetabloidsaresortoffeedingthatinsomeways, theydio, youknow, And I respectthat.
I livemostoftheyearininCalifornia, wheresomepeople, sortof.
No, I am.
You'relike, Oh, yeah, thatbridesmaid's dudeorsomethinglikethatonbecause I wasinthatfilmfor a fewminutesandsomepeopleknowbecauseofDoctorwhohas.
Ithas a kindofaudience, andactuallylittleBritainwasquitebigthere.
Butit's a different.
It's a differenttypeoffame.
It's like, Oh, that's goingon I'm reallythemostfamouspersonintheroombecauseevenifyougoto a diner, there's a chance a bigstarwillbeinthecornerjustbecauseit's wherelotsofpeoplelive.
Well, that's no, butactually, I live a relativelyhermeticexistenceonmyright, and I havetwodogsondhechoices.
It's recent.
Itwasitwasafterafter, um, youknow, I hadthatbereavement.
I just I just I knewthat I neededThiohavesomethingelseinmylife.
So?
Sosomethingnewandsomethingdifferent.
EsoitjustItmadesensetometogosomewherewarmandsomewhereprivateandpeaceful, anditworksreallywellforme, it's justmyIt's justwhatyouknow, I pulledbackonDDE.
Thatis, Youknow, somepeople, somepeopleliketobeouteverynightandthosethings, and I'm I'm happynotbeing, butwhen I'm inLondon, youknow, cause I still I'm still a Britishcitizenonwhen I'm here.
Then I'm a muchmoresociablebeingondhe, myfriend, a lot.
See, I'veknownReecefor 25 years, buthemovedouttothe U.
S.
A fewyearsafterme.
Soit's likewehave a history, butno.
Sobothoverthere.
And I'vegototherfriendslikethat.
Youknow, there's anotherguytotwopeoplewhobothworkintheindustrythat I wasatschoolwith.
Youbothliveouttherethat I seeon a burner.
Yeah.
Talkedaboutfame, right?
I didtheintheearlydaysofyourcareer.
I wassurprisedbyhowyouknowwhat I likethisword.
Butitwas a relativelyeffortlessrise.
BobMortimerseeingyouarrangingforotherpeopletoseeyouandthenshootingstarsthatwhat I couldn't pickupiswhetherornotyoueverwantedtobefamousorasopposedtojustwantingtomake a living, doing, havingdiscoveredhowmuchyouenjoyedmakingpeoplelaughthere, twoquitedifferentthings.
Now, um, I thinkit's justit's beendifferent a differentpartsofmylife.
Sowhen I wastalkingaboutinthebookwhen I wassix, myhairfellout.
Andso I got a lotofattentionforthatkidinthetownwithnohairandotherkidswouldalwayspointedout, youknow, andbecausekidssaywhatthey'rethinking, don't theyjustsayit?
So I thinkifyou'd askedmewhen I was 12 13 14 I'd say, Yeah, I wanttobefamous.
Butafterthat I think, youknow, I thinkitwas I wanttobecreative, Andi, I wantthevalidationonthevalidationinyourmindcomesthroughfame, youknow?
Butoddlyenough, I wasdoingthecomedycircuitfromtheageof 18 and I wasprettysureitwasbrutal.
Yeah, but I mean, I chosetodoit, anditwasbrutal, but I mean, itwashighsandlows.
Itwasthelowestlowsinthebig, wideopenspots.
Didopenspaceturnupliterallyunknown.
Unheralded.
Yeah, andtryoutmaterialon a roomyouknewnothingabout.
That's right, AndiAlso, I did a strange, verystrangeactbecause I Well, I wasn't I didn't feelconfidentjustbeingme, becausethere's a kindofhonestytobeing a standup.
Youknow, itwastheideaofyoutostandtherewith a cigaretteinonehandand a pintintheotherandwearing a T shirt.
Youyouknow, theideawasitwaskindofunfiltered, inauthenticondhe I just 18.
I wasn't outyet.
Tomyfriendsandfamily, and I youknow, I wasjustfullofangst.
I was a teenagerondhe.
Makesitanevenolderthingtodo.
Yeah, soSo, yeah.
Sowhat I didwas I playedthischaractercalledSirBernardChumley.
WhoisthisoldactoronDhe?
Because I'vedone a lotofYouththeatreas a kid.
I'vebeenintheWestEnd, playattheageof 14 donenationalyouthmusic, theinternationalyouth, itallthesekindofvoluntarythingsthatyouauditionfor a zakid, andso I kindofknewthatthosekindoffruityoldertypesthatusedtokindofhangaroundyoungactorslikemeandsoon.
So I justfeltcomfortableinthatskinonDhe.
I don't knowthat I wasparticularlyfunny, but I wasdifferent.
Yes, onDDEthatseemedtobeenoughtokindofpropelMay.
Buttheinterestingthingwasthatbytheageof 21 I did.
I wasdoingshootingstarts, youknow, withthekebabonthenandthen.
Althoughthatwasobviously a bitof a lifechangingforMay, itdidkillmystandupbecauseaudienceswouldseemeandexpecttoseemedressedas a babyanddoing a GeorgeDoorsroutine, which I didn't reallyhave, youknow, becauseGeorge W.
With a tinylittlevignetteforpeoplenotfamiliarwithshootingstars, therewasnot a 45 minuteact.
No, itwasn't a characterismorelike a persona.
Itwasexcellent.
I justdressedlikethis, and I justsayanythingonthestandupactwas a littlebitMaurtexturedAndiasitwouldbecauseyou'reyou'reonstageforhalfanhourorwhatever.
20 minutesandSo, uh, so, Actually, whathappenedwasthenevenevenvenueswithBillMoyers, GeorgeDoorsOrcouldusethatChinasellticketsrecognizable.
While I wasdoingthisotherthingand I didn't reallyknowwhattodowithit.
Yeah, yeah, and I justItjustbecame a harderthingtodo.
And I I didn't reallyhave a GeorgeDoorsactthat I felt I coulddoonorparticularlywanttooutsideofthatshow.
Like I lovedoingitintheshow.
Howdidthathappen?
Howdidyougo?
Mostofthequestions I askyoutodayareansweredinthebook, butwe'reheretodoWe'reheretodo t walk.
Thetightropebetweenthetwoshotthat's onthepageisn't justtellushowyoumovedfromWhatdidBobMortimerseethatbroughtGeorgedoorstolifewhenyouwereessentiallyportraying a sortoffestbianrouefromfromthepagesofCentralCasting?
Well, he'd havetoaskhim.
Hetoldmeatthetimethat I wastheangriestmanhe'd everseen.
Youknowwhat?
Youdon't knowhowpeople e.
Yeah.
I wasangry.
I wasangry.
I waswhen I was 18.
18 yearoldsareangry.
Allofthem.
Well, I wasonDonna.
Hi.
Yeah, well, uh, no, I wasangrybecause I I don't know.
I feltlike, youknow, like I hadlifehadn't givenme a faircrackofthewhipMe.
Now I fellOnlylostmyhairwhen I wassixandmyparentsaredivorcedandmydadhadbeeninprison, and I just I sawitlike, what's youknow, what's this?
Youever I wasoverweightandpale.
Youwouldn't notice.
Trust, actually.
Yeah.
Lookslikeitmayondhe.
Uh, theywerealsoveryhardby a tripthatyourschoolmatestookthatyouweresupposedtogoonjustaroundthatage.
Yeah, I was I was I wasunceremoniouslykindoftold.
Well, weweregonnagoawaywithyou, butwe'renot.
Nowthat's reallyshitty.
Yeah, butas a writeinthebook, thatactuallywhathappened?
Waas.
Youknow, I don't sayinthebook.
I don't saythat.
I waslovelyknowinthebook.
I mean, I maywellhavedeservedthat.
I don't know.
I think I think I think I probablydidn't actually, andthinkingaboutit.
ButButwhatactuallyhappenedwasnotgoingonthisinterrailingtripand, uh, meantthat I wenttotheNationalYouthTheatreonMetDavidWilliamswhen I was 16.
Soso, youknow, thankstothem, really, it's theway I couldlookatit.
ButtherewasTherewas a lottobeangryabout.
Twoyearslater, whenyouweregonnagotouniversity.
Whatwastheplan?
Dramaschool.
I wasgoing T o.
Yeah.
I wasgoingtoyoutouniversityandthentook a yearouttodostandupcomedyon.
Bythetime I wenttouniversity, I'd alreadyyouknow, BobMortimerspottedmeafterfiveweeks.
I was 18 andsaid, I wantto, youknow, helpyougetwork.
I wanttodosomething.
Whatdidyouthink?
Didyoutrustit?
Yes, thereis a trustworthy, isit?
It's a remarkableTherewasnothinganyotherthanhejustlikewhat I did, butitwasincrediblymagic.
Oneglances, anditwas a magiconemomenthewasincrediblysupportiveonasidefromthehejusthappenedtobe a gigthat I wasout.
I stillhadtogoonstageandmakepeoplelaugh, youknow, whenitcametoitandinsomewaysexpectationswould'vebeenhigheronme.
Buttheconfidenceitgaveme, youknow, it's a validation.
Thevalidationwasinsane.
I mean, it's likebeing, youknow, sayingthebook, it's likebeing, youknow, beingthebiggestPaulMcCartneyandJohnLennonfoundandbecomingtheirRingoquiteliterally.
Butitwas a fairytale.
Itwasanabsolutefairytale, but I waslivingthisdoublelifebecause I wasalsoworkingin a shopforChelseafootballclubandyoucansee I amanarsenal.
Butthere's someofthefunniestbitsinit.
SortofsmuggledArsenalfanintotheanditwas a familyconnectionthatyouinthere.
Well, I was, So I kindofgrewupverypretty.
ObservantJewishonDhe.
I was a youthleaderatthesynagogue, oneoftheones, youknow, Butmydrinkistherecalledon, wouldhelpruntheyouthclubs.
And I wasn't theyouthleaderwhen I would I wouldhelpout.
It's a kindofvoluntarythingtodoonDDE, oneofthecoupleofthekidsthattheirmomanddadsaid, I putanadvertinthesynagoguemagazine m ETuh, saying I wouldliketobabysitjusttoearnsomemoney.
Youknowwhat I wasdoing?
Mylevelsondhe, um, onDKLive.
Pohlad, who's ownedthefranchisefortheChelseashop.
I wouldbabysithiskids, andthenhewastellingmethatyouhadthisthistakenoverthefranchiseforthejealousyshop, and I waslooking.
I saidtomymom, I'd liketodostandupcomedyinmyyearoff.
Youknow, thingslikethatanditwasjustgaveme a kindof a littlebitoffreesong, a littlebitofauthority, andtheotherpersonwhoreallywasreallykindtomeagainwhen I'd onlyonlybeengoingabout a yearorless, wasHarryHill I wasonthebillwithhim, onceortwice, andthenhesaid, Youknow, areyouplayingalltheseotherclubs?
And I said, Why?
It's hardtogethimtoreturnmycallor, youknow, they'reverybiggerclubsand I canplay.
Andhesaid, Well, I'm gonnagiveyou, youknow, eightphonenumbershereandyoucallthemandyoutellthemthat I gaveyouthenumberand I recommendyou.
Andsoagain, youknow, therewas a reallytherewasItwasitwasitwas, youknow, therewas a lotofkindnessaswell.
I mean, talentnotwithstanding, a bitofluckaswell.
Absolutely.
I mean, I wouldsaytoanybodyifanybodysays, youknowwhatyouneedtomakeit.
I sowell, if I can, youknow, somepeoplewouldsay I'vemadeotherpeoplewouldsay I wouldn't haven't.
Butif I'vemadeitonsomelevel, I wouldsayyouneedtalent.
Likewhen I waswritingthatbook, I wasalsodoingDoctor, who I wroteonChristmasDay.
I wrotebooksinthere.
It's notlikeit's fine, youknow, I gotthebestjobintheworld.
Sothisisthisisnotmecomplaining, but I'm sayingyouhavetoputthehoursandyouhavetoputthehoursin.
Evenwhenyou're a bigdeal, youhavetoputthehoursin, andactually, that's somethingasmuchasanybody.
I learnedthatfromDavid.
He's justhe's moresothanyou.
I mean, atthetime, therememberinearlyinterviews, thetheimpressiongivenwasthathehadcrackedthewhip a bitwithyouwhenyouneededYeah, yeah, youknow, because I wasdoingstandupso I'd belike, maybewecouldjuststart, like, dointheafternoon, andwecando, youknow, threehoursand I goto a gig.
And I waslike, youknow, becausecomediansonthecircuit, youknow, they'resloggingaroundthecircuitrightontheremightbedoingtogigs a nightintherushingaroundandallthat.
Sotheyhavethiskindofadrenalinething.
Butactuallythecomediansonthecircuit I workedwiththeculturewaas.
Youknow, ifyouhad a set, thatwas 20 minutesanditworked.
Davidand I wouldstart 10 andwegoto a 4 35 andactually, youknow, hewasquitestrict, andwechatfor 10 minutesatthebeginningoftheday.
Butit's likenowweneedtogettoworkonDheandthenButwe'd right, youknow, 15 20 minutes a weekormoreofusablestuff.
Andthen I thought, OhmyGod.
Sothiswholethingaboutaddingin a newjokeeverymonththisisthisisthere's a differentwayofdoingthis.
Youcouldbemuchmoreprolific, A muchmoreinventive, completelydifferentmediumstheyaredifferentmeans I wasamazedwhen I firstaregoingtocompletelyprobablyaroundaboutthistime.
AnditwasItwas a comedystoreinLeicesterSquare.
I wasamazedwhen I wentbacktwoweekslater.
It's allthesameactorinthesame.
That's right.
Yeah, I couldn't actuallyquitebelieveit.
Yeah, but I willsayinfairness, promoterswouldYeah, and I'd see I'd seeyouknow, because I usedtogoandwatchcomedywiththetimebefore I wasdoing.
Therewere a fewpeoplethatwere a bitmoreprolific, butitwasmorejustthecultureofthecircuit.
Youwereourmenplayingjungleer's ondhe.
Itwentdownallright.
AndJohnwaswasthebigchain, and I didn't reallyenjoyit, so I neededitonceandtheysaid, Well, youshouldcomeback, andactually, I justdidn't I didn't reallyenjoyit.
Feltverycorepronine.
Justthought I think I coulddothis, but I thinktherealityisthatit's alwaysgonnayouknow, I'm alwaysgonnahavetoetoworkreallyhardinthisroom.
Thisisnevergonnabeanaudience.
That's whatThemonsterhere, whattimeyouget a lotofstuff?
Yeah, And I thought, Yeah, becausethere's aninterestingthing.
Sometimesyouplaygigsthatwerefree, right?
You'd stillgetpaid, butthegigswerefree.
Likestudentgates, universities, theybesponsored, Somebodywouldbepickingupthecheck, youknow, a NewcastleBrownaleorsomethinglikethat.
Whenthey'redoingChristmaspartiesaroundthistimeofyear, thatbecomestheirquitetoughGigsalsocause a lotofourcarsinvolved, andyoucharge a lotforChristmaspartiesandit's a kindof, youknow, thepowerbalanceisdifferent.
HowdidthataddedtheFriendshipSegwayintocollaborationandthekindofthecomplicationsofbeing a doubleactthatthatinsomeWell, wewemetintheNationalYouthTheatreonmorepartsweplay.
Hey, Well, I wasin a course, becausewhenyougowhenyoudo a kindof a firstyearfirst, ofcourse I don't.
Itchangedeverythingformebecausethe m I t with, probablyforsimilarreasons.
Backgroundbeingcompletelychallengebecause I wasatanallboysmonasticboardingschool.
Andsuddenly I'm inthemiddleofManchestermiddleofManchesterin a hallofresidencefullofgirls.
But I didn't realizethathe'd hedoneittotallyonDDE.
Thecourseiswhatyoudothefirsttimebecause I wassupposedtogoanddothecourseinLondon.
I wonderifwe'd havebeeninthesameand I didn't becausethefellawhoaroundManchester, youthinkisthatifyoucometomanages, I'llgiveyou a crackingpartybasehotel, gotolong, doeswhatyoudid.
I thinkDavidknewthatthatprobablywasn't forhimeither.
Andi, wemettheNationalYouthTheatreonDDE.
I kindofidolizedhim.
I mean, he's kindoftall, areolder, funnier, and I'd watchhimfromthewingswiththenextyear.
Wedidittogether.
No, no, never.
No, I justneverdid.
I neverdid.
Uh, no.
Whichprobablygoodrope.
Ofcourse.
If I hadfrontedhim, itmighthavebeen a bit a key.
I'm weirdondhe.
No, therewasnever I thinkpeopleusedtothinkwewere a couple, buttherewasnever I neverfeltthattowardshim.
I admiredhim.
I respectedhim.
I thoughthewasbrilliant.
I kindofdideverythingotherthanfancyhim.
Um, s O thefriendshipstayedinplacewhileyouwereoffpursuingthestandupwhichledintoshooting.
Yeah, hewasdoingChildren's television.
HewaswritingforAntandDecorPJandDuncan, I think.
Yeah, andhewasdoingkidsTVonstufflikethaton, butwe'rejustfriends, andwewouldjustsee a lotofeachother.
Wegotothecinemainthetheatreon.
Also, hehad a girlfriend, buttherewassomethingqueerabouthim.
Youknow, Andi, I usethatin a slightlylawinthecontemporaryuseofthatword.
Notthatnotthederogatoryusethatwere, youknow, in a kindof a kindof a shameless, unapologeticothernessabouthim, andhewouldwearmen's skirtsandhewouldpainthisfingernailsblack.
Andheput a hairclipinhishairand I'd gooutwithhimandhisgirlfriendandsoon.
Peoplewouldandhe'd sitonthetube.
And I, uh, peoplewouldn't knowwhattothink.
Whenwefirstdidthat, myheartwouldsinglike, what?
Whatdoyoulooklike?
Butthen, actually, after a while, I thought, Thisisglorious.