Name: Reacting To Becoming Such a Young Mom | Regret, Advice
Uploaded: 2020-03-15T16:52:42.000Z
Duration: 11 min 22 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

To-infinitive

hi guys welcome back to my channel today I wanted to answer a question that I get

Adverbs of frequency

asked quite often on my social media and it's how did I know that it was time for

Past simple

me to become a mother especially because I was that young and if I ever regret

starting a family that young so just to give you a little bit of background if

you are new to the channel hello thank you for joining I got married when I was

21 years old and I had Jake at 23 Benjamin at 24 and Maxie was just born

two months ago and I'm 28 I got engaged when I was 20 years old

- Gary love of my life hey baby and he proposed after two months which was

insane we were engaged for a year before we got married some of you might know we

have a really big age difference we are 18 years apart and that's a little like

controversial for people but that's why I wanted to kind of go back and talk a

little bit about how I got to a point where I decided that getting married at

21 was the right decision for me so I started my adult life when I was 16

years old that's when I started my professional career as a model and that

really started taking me to places around the world I had the opportunity

to live in France and in Tokyo I traveled to London and Germany and Spain

and I had I had incredible incredible opportunities I also met some amazing

people throughout my career but what I kind of tried to get to is the fact that

I was exposed to the big world in a very early stage in my life when I was still

kind of forming and that really made me mature very quickly I was traveling on

my own I didn't have you know a mommy to cry to or someone to protect me from bad

people of bad situations so I really had to be very aware of my surroundings area

where of myself I'm making sure that I make the right decisions so I really had

make sure that I am on the right path that's something that really matured me

emotionally because it was traveling alone I was alone all the time I really

got to learn more about myself and who I am and what I want to be and who I want

to become and I had the opportunity to do a lot of those things when I was that

young that kind of already skipped me to a whole other place in my life

emotionally and with the way I think and make decisions so at the age of 16 17 18

I already felt like I'm very much advanced compared to other people my age

I was also always around older people I got really lucky to be exposed to all of

these things and I got to take a little bit of something from everyone and

everywhere went so when I reached the age of 20 I mean I wasn't your typical

one-year-old I was already very much financially independent I started making

my own money at 16 I was living on my own I was paying rent I was in charge of

my finance I was doing a lot of things that people my age weren't doing I

definitely wasn't at a point where I was thinking about getting married or having

children then at the age of 20 I moved to Canada to Toronto to join my mother

shortly after that and moved to New York for work when I moved to New York I came

to visit my mother once a month or so and one of those times I met Gary when

Gary because I was at a point in my life where I was complete on my own and I

wasn't looking for someone to save me that when I did meet Gary I knew that

this is the right person for me even with our age difference and all these

kind of things that I guess should have stopped me in a way from going after

this relationship it didn't because I truly felt like it's so simple this is

it this is the base to the overall starting a family and becoming a wife

and a mother young have I ever felt like I'm missing

out on things maybe sometimes but I knew that there were and significant things

it wasn't anything that kind of made me break down so if my girlfriends were

jet-setting while I was eight months pregnant I wasn't miserable about it

because I did so much of it before and I also knew that I'm gonna do that after

two I already been there done that so I wasn't chasing that anymore I got

to a point where I felt like I needed to kind of progress in my life it was very

confident with the decisions that I made in my life and I was very confident that

I was on the right path and on the right track and very happy that you trusted

your intuition valaria good for you you did good the decision to get married and

have kids really stemmed from just feeling ready and very grounded and I

felt like I have a strong enough base of me as you know an individual not with a

partner not with Garrett just me by myself I knew that I'm ready for that

next stage so a lot of girls tell me how they really want to be young mothers and

they want to start their families and I think that it's so important to stress

that you have to first discover the world on your own you have to first

figure out who you are what do you want it's gonna be a process you're gonna be

changing with every year that goes by but having that strong base of you know

the person that you are being in tune with your emotion understand who you are

it's very important before you start layering all these like grown-up

responsibilities on yourself because that puts so much weight on your

shoulders and you want to make sure that you're strong enough to carry at all you

really don't see a lot of the hard work that goes into parent

and being a wife today I think it's even harder with being a modern woman because

we want it all we want to have careers and we want to have our degrees and we

want to go work and make money and we want to raise children and want to have

four kids and we want to travel and one we want a lot of things when we started

having kids and building a family I was also very very vocal about the fact that

I never want to lose the sense of who I am it was very important for me that

Gary knows that valaria comes first to buleria because if I lose that sense of

myself I won't be able to be the wife or the mother that I wanted to be all of

these lessons and the fact that I knew to demand this from the get-go it really

all came from just realizing and getting in tune with myself and getting to know

myself better and I think that's so so important it doesn't matter how old you

are I think before anything else before you add any more people to take care of

and any more things on your plate you have to master that that's really it I

don't think there's a right age to do anything I think it's just that feeling

that feeling of like okay I'm rooted I'm grounded I understand who I am and now

I'm ready to add more here not here and now I'm ready for the next phase in my

life a lot of the young girls that follow people on Instagram you know they

really see all these beautiful moments of smiling children and hugging and

laughing and dancing there's a lot of those but there's a lot of really scary

moments there's a lot of moments where you question yourself constantly because

you are trying to raise people that will enter society soon and they better not

make that society worse I think that as a young mother you always feel like

you're not doing something right but with every child and you know having now

mommy friends I understand that it doesn't matter what age you have a kid

you always feel like you're not doing something right

motherhood is the hardest by far the hardest thing there is out there it puts

you in such a vulnerable situation you always feel guilty you always feel

scared you always don't know what you're doing so it's very important to have a

very strong and you call a backbone it's not what people say if you're young girl

watching this video and you are just waiting for the day you get married and