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  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> HI!

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> THANK YOU, COME ON!

  • GON, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

  • I'M MELISSA McCARTHY.

  • I'M NOT JAMES CORDEN, ALTHOUGH I DO GET THAT A LOT.

  • WHICH IS FUNNY.

  • I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

  • IS AONE ELSE HERE TONIGHT WEARING THEIR INCLUSION ROBE?

  • (LAUGHTER) ANYONE

  • I SEE, I SEE A COUPLE OF HANDS UP-- NO, YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS,

  • MAYBE UP THERE, I THOUGHT-- NO?

  • THERE IS USUALLY A COUPLE.

  • MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE BATHROOM, JUST BEING INCLUSIVE.

  • REALLY.

  • SO YEAH, THIIS MY INCLUSION ROBE FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

  • (APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU.

  • >> I MEAN I KNOW THAT JAMES WOULD ONLY CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS

  • AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT IS WRONG OR THAT JAMES CORDERN IS

  • TERRIBLE OR THAT JAMES CORDEN ONLY RECOGNIZES HOLIDAYS THAT

  • ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM.

  • I MEAN I'M NOT SAYING THAT.

  • IF YOU ARE THINKING IT, I CAN'T STOP THAT BUT I JUST THINK THAT

  • PEOPLE SHOULD CELEBRATE WHATEVER HOLIDAYS OR DON'T CELEBRATE

  • HOLIDAYS OR DON'T HAVE AN OPINION, EITHER WAY.

  • ALL OF THIS IS REALLY JUST OKAY FOR ME, CELEBRATED COUNTRIES

  • MARKS OR CELEBRATE HANUKKAH OR KWANZA OR NATIONAL FRUIT CAKE

  • DAY, O OR GUY, DECEMBER 27th IT IS UNDERRATED. BUT CHECK IT

  • OUTK I HAVE A FEELING IT WILL BE BIG THIS YEAR, IT IS THEIR BY

  • CENTENNIAL WHICH IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THEIR

  • PIE-CENTENNIAL WHICH IS IN JULY.

  • SO THAT'S FUN.

  • I ACTUALLYK I GOT IN ROBE, FUN FA, THERE WAS A SISTER ACT 2

  • EXHIBIT IN PLANET HOLLYWOOD.

  • I THINK THAT IS KIND OF LIKE THE DICEY, VEGAS, ALL OF THAT.

  • I JUST STRAIGHT UP AND TOOK IT AND I THK THEY WERE WONDERING

  • BUT SOMETIMES YOU ARE FAMOUS, YOU CAN KIND OF WAWSK OUT WITH

  • THINGS.

  • SO I DID THAT.

  • AND OF COURSE, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS AND YOU PROBABLY ASSUME

  • CERTAIN THINGS LIKE WOULD YOU ASSUME THIS IS A SANTA PATCH?

  • WELL, MAYBE, BUT MAYBE IT'S NOT SANTA.

  • SOME OF YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT THIS AND SAY HEY, IS THAT A

  • SANTA PATCH.

  • AND SOME WILL YOU SAY HEY IS THAT A THICK GAL NAMED MAUREEN

  • WHO OF LOS RED.

  • AND EITHER WAY, IT IS OKAY I MEAN YOU KNOW, THE BEARD LOOKED

  • A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.

  • ANYWAY, THERE IS ALSO A MENORAH HERE, REPRESENTING IF YOU ARE

  • JEW YOU WERE.

  • OR ALSO I THINK IT LOOKS VERY MUCH LUKE A TRIDENT.

  • SO IN CASE YOU ARE LIKE REALLY INTO AQUAMAN.

  • SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING, TAKE NOTE, WE ARE BRINGING LAND AND

  • OCEAN TOGETHER.

  • WOW, RIGHT?

  • GOOD FOR US.

  • (APPLAUSE) AND LET'S NOT FORGET QUEEN OF

  • ENGLAND.

  • A LOT OF BRITS AROUND THIS SHOW.

  • I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM O.

  • HERE IS WHAT IS REALLY COOL ABOUT THIS, SHE IS 93 NOW SO

  • THIS IS TO SCALE, THIS IS HER ACTUAL SIZE.

  • YEAH.

  • ISN'T THAT NEAT.

  • THIS HERE REPRESENTS THE WORLD CHAMPION 1991 CHICAGO CHICAGO

  • BULLS.

  • THAT'S NOT REALLY A HOLIDAY BUT IT SHOULD BE.

  • ALSO I'M FROM CHICAGO AND IF I DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT I GET

  • A LOT OF GUFF.

  • TINY SWEATER REPRESENTS ALL THOSE HUSBANDS WHO FINALLY DID

  • LAUNDRY FOR THE FIRS TIME.

  • WE LOST A LOT OF GOOD SWEATER THIS YEAR.

  • OH, HERE, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

  • THIS IS MY OLD BLOCKBUSTER CARD.

  • AND FOR ME IT REALLY SYMBOLIZES PATIENCE, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT

  • TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME, I WOULD GO TO THE STORE, GET THE COPY OF

  • DIEHARD, TAKE IT HOME, FORGET I LEFT IT ON THE COFFEE TABLE,

  • THEN HE PUT IT IN A DRAR AND I'M RACKING UP FEES AND THEN I

  • HAD TO WAIT THEM OUT UNTIL BLOCKBUSTER WENT OUT OF

  • BUSINESS.

  • I MEAN MIRACLES DO HAPPEN, GUYS.

  • THAT'S-- THE DONUT, THAT SAY GOOD ONE.

  • THIS IS JUST A DONUT.

  • BUT THR'S GOOD, RIGHT?

  • THAT'S MY ROBE, YOU KNOW.

  • (APPLAUSE) SO IT IS KIND OF LIKE THOSE

  • BUMPER STICKERS YOU SEE THAT SAY COEXIST, YOU KNOW, I THINK IT IS

  • SPELLED OUT IN SOME KIND OF WICCAN LETTERS AN DIFFERENT

  • RELIGEONS.

  • IT IS JUST LIKE THAT, EXCEPT IT IS A LOT MORE CONVOLUTED AND

  • HEAVIER AND WARMER.

  • SO THERE IS THAT.

  • SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS, OR NOT, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK ABOUT

  • IT, REALLY, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT, DUBTS HAVE TO BE IN A

  • BOAT, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BOAT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLOAT.

  • YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET IN A BOAT.

  • WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT BOATS.

  • THIS HAS REALLY GOTTEN AWAY FROM ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> HI!

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A2 TheLateLateShow robe applause celebrate boat james

*Everyone* Is Included in Melissa McCarthy's Monologue

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/15
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