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  • >> THE PRESIDENT'S BEEFED-UP LEGAL TEAM FILLED WITH

  • MADE-FOR-TV LAWYERS PREPARES TO DEFEND HIM.

  • >> HE WANTED TV-READY LAWYERS -- LLO.

  • ARE YOU AN UNCHARISMATIC LAWYER WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF AN

  • HISTORIC DEFENSE OF THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF?

  • THEN COME TO DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE'S ACTING SCHOOL OF LEGAL ACTING!

  • AU CHAUNTE!

  • I'M DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE.

  • I OBJECT!

  • OVERRULED!

  • SUSTAINED!

  • I HAVE TAUGHT TENS OF STUDENTS WHO'VE GONE ON TO PERFORM AS

  • LAWYERS ON FOX NEWS AND OTHER SHOWS ON FOX NEWS.

  • YOU WILL LEARN SUCH TV LAW TECHNIQUES AS THE SOUTHERN

  • SUSPENDERS!

  • ( SOUTHERN ACCENT ) YOUR HONOR, I MAY BE A HUMBLE

  • COUNTRY LAWYER, BUT SINCE IS WHEN ENTICE AGO FOREIGN

  • GOVERNMENT TO MESS WITH OUR ELECTION A CATTY WAMPUS BOOGER

  • BOO?

  • I REST MY CASE!

  • AND THE ANGRY TUBAS.

  • >> IS IT YOUR POSITION THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP SHOULD NOT BE

  • IMPEACHED EVEN IF ALL THE EVIDENCE AND ARGUMENTS LAID OUT

  • BY THE HOUSE ARE ACCEPTED AS FACT?

  • >> I'LL ANSWER THE QUESTION.

  • YOU WANT ANSWERS?

  • I THINK 'EM ENTITLED.

  • YOU WANT ANSWERS?

  • I WANT THE TRUTH!

  • YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

  • I REST MY CASE.

  • SO SIGN UP TODAY FOR DARIUS LIGHTHOUSE'S ACTING SCHOOL OF

  • LEGAL ACTING, AND YOU CAN TRUST ME BECAUSE I'M NOT ONLY THE

  • THEATER'S DIRECTOR, I'VE ALSO PLAYED A PIVOTAL CHARACTER ON

  • "LAW AND ORDER."

  • >> HE WAS KILLED RIGHT HERE.

  • KEYS RIGHT HERE.

  • HIS BRIEFCASE.

  • HE JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • ♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE

  • SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!

>> THE PRESIDENT'S BEEFED-UP LEGAL TEAM FILLED WITH

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