Name: Covetton House Introduces: "Covetton Yurt"
Uploaded: 2020-03-15T02:42:39.000Z
Duration: 5 min 37 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

( LAUGHTER ) EVERYONE KNOWS I LOVE CELEBRITY

LIFESTYLE BRAND GOOP, AND GWYNETH PALTROW, THE

WELLNESSMONGER FAMOUS FOR HER $66 JADE VAGINA EGGS, "STICKERS

THAT PROMOTE HEALING" FOR $120, AND THIS $435 ANTI-AGING MASK

MEANT TO REDUCE WRINKLES AND APPROPRIATE FOR MOST ORGIES.

THEIR LATEST PRODUCT TAKING THE INTERNET BY STORM IS A CANDLE

AND I'M NOT SURE HOW TO ASK ANY OF THEM, BUT LET'S START WITH

BECAUSE I'LL BUY THE EGG, BUT I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS.

THIS IS THE MOST TALKED-ABOUT ITEM PUT OUT BY AN OSCAR WINNER

SINCE JACK LEMMON'S "THIS AIR FRESHENER LOOKS LIKE MY PENIS".

NATURALLY, THIS THING COST, $75 AND WAS IMMEDIATELY SOLD OUT.

( LAUGHTER ) UNTIL THEY RE-STOCK, YOU'LL JUST

HAVE TO SETTLE FOR "THIS CANDLE SMELLS LIKE A PINE TREE'S ASS."

( LAUGHTER ) BUT THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT

SHE'S ALWAYS THINKING, ALWAYS MOVING, NEVER SITTING STILL.

PARTLY BECAUSE SITTING IS TOUGH WITH THAT MANY PRODUCTS IN

ANNOUNCED A GOOPY NEW TV SHOW, TWEETING, "GWYNETH PALTROW

WELCOMES YOU TO THE GOOP LAB!" I DON'T GET WHAT SHE'S DOING

INSIDE THOSE CONCENTRIC CROSS-SECTIONS OF A FOOTBALL.

( LAUGHTER ) THE NEW SHOW EXPLORES EVERYTHING

>> WHAT HAPPENS IN A WORKSHOP?" >> EVERYONE GETS OFF.

>> WHAT THE (BLEEP) ARE YOU DOING TO PEOPLE?

>> WHAT WE TRY TO DO AT GOOP IS EXPLORE IDEAS THAT MAY SEEM OUT

>> STEPHEN: NOTHING SCARY ABOUT A THOUSAND PINS IN YOUR FACE.

I SAW IT YEARS AGO IN THAT POPULAR WELLNESS DOCUMENTARY

( LAUGHTER ) "WELCOME TO THE PIT OF ENDLESS

( PIANO RIFF ) "THE GOOP LAB" WILL INTRODUCE US

TO THE MOST GROUNDBREAKING SCIENTIF-ISH WELLNESS

>> I WENT THROUGH YEARS OF THERAPY IN ABOUT FIVE HOURS.

I STARTED TO FEEL, LIKE A PANIC ATTACK COMING ON.

SHE KNEW SOMETHING THAT MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

-- FOR THE RECORD, THAT'S NOT WELLNESS THERAPY.

( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: POINT IS, GOOP LAB

PROMISES ONE THING -- >> THIS IS DANGEROUS.

WE'RE HERE ONE TIME, ONE LIFE, HOW CAN WE REALLY MILK THE

(BLEEP) OUT OF THIS?" >> STEPHEN: NOW, IF YOU CYNICS

THINK "THE GOOP LAB" IS A CASH GRAB THAT EXPLOITS PEOPLE'S FEAR

OF AGING AND SACRIFICES THEIR SAFETY TO PEDDLE

PSEUDO-SCIENTIFIC, NEW-AGEY GARBAGE... WELL-SPOTTED.

THAT'S WHERE MY OWN HIGH-END LIFESTYLE BRAND, COVETTON HOUSE,

WE'RE LAUNCHING A NEW TELEVISION SHOW CALLED "COVETTON YURT."

>> BAROQUE SIMPLICITY, SHABBY ELEGANCE, GIVE ME MONEY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WELCOME TO "COVETTON YURT."

IN THE YURT, WE EXPLORE IDEAS THAT ARE TOO "OUT THERE" OR "TOO

ARE YOU DANGEROUS ENOUGH TO FIND OUT IF THIS $8,000 BOTTLE OF

UNPASTEURIZED GIRAFFE MILK WILL ALLEVIATE YOUR ANXIETY?

( LAUGHTER ) AND IS THIS MAN A PSYCHIC WHO

CAN SUMMON AN INCUBUS TO STIMULATE YOUR G-SPOT, OR IS HE

A VAGRANT I CAUGHT STEALING MY MAIL AND GAVE HIM A SANDWICH TO

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOE SCARBOROUGH AND MIKA BRZEZINSKI!

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Covetton House Introduces: "Covetton Yurt"

anxiety

tough

grab

panic