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  • >> STEPHEN: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY

  • AWARD-WINNING ACTOR WHO PLAYED JESUS QUINTANA IN "THE BIG

  • LEBOWSKI."

  • HE HAS NOW WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND STARS IN A SPINOFF, "THE

  • JESUS ROLLS."

  • PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE "LATE SHOW," JOHN TURTURRO!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )

  • >> IT'S GOOD TO TRAVEL WITH GLOVES.

  • I GOT LEATHER.

  • >> Stephen: YOU'RE EITHER TRYING TO BE HYGIENIC OR YOU'RE

  • GOING TO CHALLENGE ME TO A DUEL ( LAUGHTER )

  • NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> I'M GOOD.

  • >> Stephen: EVERYONE IS EXCITED BECAUSE THE JESUS IS

  • BACK.

  • >> YES, HE IS BACK, YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: THE MOVIE IS OUT TOMORROW, WHICH IS YOUR

  • BIRTHDAY.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen:?

  • LIKE A GIFT TO YOURSELF?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'LL TAKE IT.

  • I'D RATHER BE ON THE FOUR-YEAR PLAN WHEN IT GETS TO A CERTAIN

  • YEAR ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

  • >> Stephen: EVERY FOUR YEARS YOU CELEBRATE IT?

  • LIKE THE OLYMPICS OR THE PRESIDENTIAL --

  • >> EITHER ONE, SURE.

  • >> Stephen: YOU'VE PLAYED SO MANY ICONIC CHARACTERS.

  • WHY DO YOU THINK "THE JESUS" GRIPS PEOPLE SO MUCH?

  • >> IT'S THE PHILOSOPHY OF "THE BIG LEBOWSKI" BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT

  • CLASSIC UNDERACHIEVERS.

  • THIS MOVIE CELEBRATES THAT, PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

  • I WAS ONLY IN IT FOR FIVE MINUTES, BUT MAYBE IT WAS THE

  • JUMP SUIT OR THE HAIR NET, I DON'T KNOW, THE DANCING.

  • >> Stephen: IT'S LICKING THE BOWLING BALL.

  • DID ANYONE EVER ASK YOU TO LICK THEIR BALLS?

  • >> WHEN I DID "THE BIG LEBOWSKI," I GOT A LOT OF MAIL

  • FROM MEN AND WOMEN AND PRISONERS, AND PEOPLE WOULD SAY,

  • WOW, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING TO YOU IN THAT JUMP SUIT, YOU KNOW,

  • I WANT TO GET INSIDE THAT JUMP SUIT.

  • AND I WOULD BE, LIKE, I WAS A LITTLE FRIGHTENED SOMETIMES.

  • >> Stephen: WOW, NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY, THOUGH.

  • >> NO.

  • >> Stephen: IN THIS MOVIE, YOUR CHARACTER, THE JESUS HAS A

  • THREE-WAY WITH BOBBY CANAVALI AND SU SUSAN SARANDON.

  • WHAT'S BOBBY LIKE IN THE SACK BECAUSE I ASKED ROSE AND SHE

  • WOULDN'T TELL ME.

  • >> HE'S A LITTLE SHY.

  • >> Stephen: HE'S NOT A TIGER?

  • HE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE SOMETIMES.

  • I LOVE BOBBY, YOU KNOW.

  • BOBBY IS REALLY FUNNY, BUT HE WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS.

  • >> Stephen: HE WAS IN THIS CLIP.

  • WHAT'S HAPPENING?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW, WHAT IS THE CLIP THAT YOU GUYS ARE SHOWING?

  • OH, THE BOWLING ALLY, OKAY.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO BE

  • LOOSE ABOUT IT.

  • >> Stephen: OF COURSE.

  • WELL, I'M IN A BOWLING ALLY AND I TRY TO PICK UP A GIRL IN A

  • BOWLING ALLY, AND IT GOES FROM THERE.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • JIM?

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ >> WHOO!

  • ♪ ♪

  • ( SINGING ) ♪

  • ♪ >> WHOO!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I HAVE TWO

  • REACTIONS TO THAT.

  • I HAVE TWO REACTIONS.

  • THE JESUS STILL HAS THE MOVES, AND THE SECOND IS I GO TO THE

  • WRONG BOWLING ALLY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY THAT SEXY AT

  • A BOWLING ALLY.

  • >> IT'S HARD TO DANCE IN A BOWLING ALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE SLIP

  • AGO LOT.

  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE OF THE SHOES.

  • >> BECAUSE OF THE SHOES.

  • I WAS DOING THAT DANCE WITH MY SALSA TEACHER AND SHE'S IN THE

  • MOVIE AND SHE KEPT REMIND MEG RE NOT TO STEP ON HER FEET.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU DO SALSA OUTSIDE OF THIS THING?

  • >> WITH HER.

  • IT'S FANTASTIC.

  • AND IT'S REALLY HARD AND SHE'S A REALLY TOUGH TEACHER.

  • >> Stephen: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS?

  • >> A COUPLE OF YEARS,.

  • >> Stephen: WOW.

  • HE'S ALWAYS LIKE YOU'RE DANCING WITH ME, YOU'RE DANCING

  • WITH ME.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • >> BECAUSE SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, YOU GET CARRIED AWAY AND YOU'RE

  • NOT TAKING IN YOUR PARTNER.

  • YOU HAVE TO TAKE IN YOUR PARTNER, BECAUSE THERE ARE SO

  • MANY MOVES.

  • >> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO RESPOND

  • IMPROVISATIONALLY.

  • >> YOU'RE THE LEADER IN SALSA.

  • YOU'RE LEADING THE LADY, BUT I'M NOT REALLY LEADING HER, NO WAY,

  • NO.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SHE'S WAY AHEAD OF ME.

  • >> Stephen: AS A GREAT ACTOR AND A DIRECTOR YOURSELF, I'VE

  • GOT TO ASK YOU, OF THE PERFORMANCE OF THE DEMOCRATIC

  • CANDIDATES -- >> OH.

  • >> Stephen: -- BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING TO A SMALLER AND SMALLER

  • CAST EVERY TIME THEY GET UP ON STAGE, BUT IT'S GETTING MORE AND

  • MORE DRAMATIC.

  • WHEN YOU SEE THEM, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEIR PERFORMANCES?

  • >> WELL, I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER DO THAT.

  • FIRST OF ALL, I COULDN'T BE AN EXPERT ON ALL THESE SUBJECTS.

  • I THINK IT SHOULD BE A TEST.

  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY INSTANTLY HAVE TO KNOW.

  • >> THEY KNOW GEOGRAPHY, HISTORY, SCIENCE, ECONOMICS.

  • BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO PROBABLY SAY,

  • LIKE WE WERE LAUGHING BECAUSE MY WIFE IS READING THIS BOOK ON

  • SLEEP, AND I WAS THINKING, WELL, IMAGINE IF THAT WAS A TOPIC OF

  • WHY WE SLEEP, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN SEE BERNIE SAYING, IT'S A HUMAN

  • RIGHT TO SLEEP!

  • EVERYONE SHOULD SLEEP!

  • IT'S A HUMAN RIGHT!

  • AND YOU CAN SEE ELIZABETH WARREN >> Stephen: (BERNIE) IN OTHER

  • COUNTRIES, PEOPLE SLEEP!

  • >> AND ELIZABETH WARREN, I HAVE A PLAN FOR SLEEP, I WILL RAISE

  • TAXES SO YOU CAN SLEEP ONE EXTRA HOUR.

  • AND BLOOMBERG WOULD BE I DON'T REALLY NEED TO SLEEP THAT I HAVE

  • SO MUCH MONEY THAT I JUST SORT OF GO INTO A TANK AT NIGHT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT YOU KIND KNOW OF WHAT THEIR

  • IMPULSES ARE GOING TO BE.

  • BIDEN ALWAYS BEING, I'M THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER HAVE SLEPT!

  • YOU KNOW.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING

  • SAYING, I KNOW MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT, BUT I HAVE ONE MORE

  • THING TO SAY.

  • >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, WHEN I USED TO SLEEP WITH BARACK

  • OBAMA -- ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE SLEPT TOGETHER.

  • I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IN SEPARATE BEDS.

  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER SPOKEN TO THE OBAMAS ABOUT THE

  • FACT THAT THEIR FIRST DATE WAS TO GO SEE "DO THE RIGHT THING,"

  • WHICH, OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE IN.

  • >> YEAH, AND I PLAY THE RACIST CHARACTER IN THAT.

  • >> Stephen: RIGHT.

  • MICHELLE AND BARACK TOLD ME, I HAVE BEEN WITH THEM SINCE THE

  • BEGINNING AND I SORT OF BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER.

  • >> Stephen: GOOD.

  • NO, THAT'S A WONDERFUL THING.

  • >> Stephen: WELL, IN OUR FRACTURED SOCIETY, IS THERE SOME

  • OTHER FILM OF YOURS THAT YOU WOULD RECOMMENDED THAT WE WATCH

  • TO COME TOGETHER?

  • >> OH BROTHER WHERE ART THOU, YOU KNOW, WOULD BRING EVERYBODY

  • TOGETHER.

  • >> Stephen: ON THE QUEUE.

  • KEEP UP THE DANCING.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: "THE JESUS ROLLS" IS IN THEATERS TOMORROW.

  • AND HIS MOVIE IN "THE PLOT AGAINST AMERICA" PREMIERES ON

  • THE 16th ON HOBB.

  • BACK WITH CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD!

>> STEPHEN: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!

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