Usually we talk about love and dating, and gossip and army were talking a little bit about gossip today, but not in the usual form.

Today we're talking about death.

Oh, it's a lot not just death, not just death, celebrity death and how certain celebrity deaths rock our world in ways we don't anticipate.

And sometimes we do, like sometimes a celebrity dies and you love them.

And you're like, Oh, my God!

But sometimes very frequently a celebrity passes away and you're just like someone you had no connection to.

Maybe weren't even a fan of them.

But still, it just like, hits you hard.

And today we're to talk specifically about Caroline Flack.

She was a British TV presenter.

She hosted Love Island in the UK.

I literally probably couldn't pick her out of a lineup.

And I was in tears hearing that she had killed herself.

Why, we'll break it down.

But first just wanna remind you guys to follow me on Instagram.

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So let's get back to to death.

Let's let's let's go from the high, Let's go way down low.

It seems like there have been a lot of celebrities lately who died.

Or maybe I'm literally just thinking of Kobe because that, like, rocked so many of us.

I'm from Southern California.

Kobe was like a part of life.

He lived in Orange County where I live.

He's buried in a cemetery where a lot of my friends and family members like have people buried and Kobe is.

I mean, he was a legend before he was dead.

I mean, he was It was so awful when he died because he just didn't seem like he was supposed to die and which is crazy.

But that was just the sense that we all collectively have like, Well, he's not.

He can't really be dead.

He's not supposed to die like some people.

Amanda Bynes.

Okay.

Ah, Lindsay Lohan.

Like you, It would be it would be tragic, but it wouldn't be surprising.

But someone like Kobe, who was just so full of life, was like, man, you know, And regardless of what you think about him, if you believe he was a rapist if you believe he was a cheater, whatever means Everly Cheater, like the punishment, is not like him and his daughter die in a helicopter crash.

By the way, I googled that that aircraft, the Sikorsky it looks like a private jet inside.

Like I thought it was like a like a military chopper like those the only kind of helicopters I've been on because I was an Army ROTC.

And so I like it's out of my room of conception.

The helicopter's gonna be that nice.

I was like, What?

It was like a limo.

And I just you know, everyone keeps talking about how they were thinking of their final moments, you know?

And that's the worst.

It's like, you know, you know, and for like a little younger, I'm gonna cry my whole way through this video.

But that's kind of the point.

It's like, Why did these losses where we have no connection.

I I didn't even know if Kobe still played basketball or what team he played for.

I mean, I could have deduced that it was the Lakers because of the colors of the jersey, but, like, I'm clearly not a big fan.

And I was like All and Caroline Flack.

Like I said, I am only vaguely aware of who she is.

She hosted the show on Ah, British, to be called Love Island, and there's like Love Island, Australia.

There's Love Island America and they have different hopes.

She doesn't host them all, and she's only on it for, like, two minutes every few episodes.

Like she she doesn't have a big part, but she was only 40 years old, and a lot of you might know Where could she dated?

Harry Styles like he loves older women.

And, yeah, like That's how you also might know her name.

But her death was especially charged because she killed herself, and this is the third person from Love Island who is associated with that show who has committed suicide.

Sophie, Graydon and Mike Fellas, I can't put ballast Greek last name.

He they both hung themselves, and there's been a lot of backlash with love I'll which I watch, and I really like that the producers of the show they don't really check the mental health of these people and what they're putting them through, and then they just spit them out into, like the Twitterverse and social Media to get just eaten alive.

And apparently that's like what got to Mike and Sophie is like they couldn't handle people talking shit about them online.

And that seems stupid, right?

It seems like you killed yourself because of that.

Try it, try it.

It's not fun, It's not fun.

And I've experienced but a but a ton of babe a fraction.

And for every hater there's literally 10,000 of you guys who are my fans and so supportive.

And so you have my back.

But it's like you focus on the bad things that sticks with you.

You know, it's really tough.

And Caroline, Her situation was very, very strange, and from what it kind of doesn't make sense to me, and I keep reading about it and read about it.

I'm like, Wait, what, like there's something I'm not being told about this.

So she was accused of assaulting her Onoff boyfriend, which I guess they're still together because he posted, like a Valentine's thing with her.

But she was accused of assaulting him, and he's like, It's fine.

It's no big deal.

I don't press charges, But the police and CPS were like none in, and now war pressing charges were taking the ship to trial, and her court retrial was coming up.

Now, from an outside perspective, she wasn't gonna go to jail.

You know, like the doo doo Shia soldiers like It's fine.

That's a whole other video of domestic violence.

That's a whole other thing, right?

That's what we're talking about.

But this to us, from our perspective, this was, ah, headache.

And it was a mean, a nightmare, a nightmare scenario for everyone involved, but not something that needed to ruin her life and take her life from her mark selling from glee.

Remember Pop?

He was going to order.

He did go to trap, Did he?

He he went to trial.

He got sentenced, but he hadn't started serving his sentence.

Theater maybe hadn't done sons for child porn, thousands and thousands and thousands of images on his computer.

That's the dude who kills himself like a suicide is awful.

I've experienced in my own family, okay?

My father committed suicide.

But, like you can see why someone who's convicted of child porn would be like, This is the end for me.

I'm never coming back from this.

Someone who is accused of assault, like simple assault.

Even if the judge threw the book at her, what would that be?

A few months of probation.

Do you know what I mean?

It was like, what?

So clearly there were other issues at play here.

There were clearly mental health issues that producers at Love Island didn't know or care about.

And I mean, on one hand, why should why should they?

You know, Does your boss care about your mental health?

Probably not.

You know, I mean, you're commodity and I have been in TV, and I've had my own TV show, and I have never been treated so poorly in my life.

Like I was treated like chattel, like an absolute animal.

Sometimes, like, you know, like, if you don't like a fuck, you will cancer show and cast someone else.

Like, you know, there's not a lot of like empathy going on there.

So I asked you guys, what celebrity deaths really, really rocked your world?

Because I'm gonna divide them into three categories, and we're gonna talk about how each Why each one, like, gets to us.

Oh, and yes, I'm where I have, like, sad clothes that I wear when I'm sad.

You have, like, fun going out clothes I have.

I have a sad wardrobe, and chief among them is this golden Girls shirt that says Stay golden.

My friend Becker got it for me at Kohl's, and it's like, almost worn out its hideous What I We're not sad.

It's like my emotional support shirt.

Then I have my emotional support.

Octopus.

This is pulpy.

It's Italian for octopus.

You can't look at this face and not smile.

Just let let pulpy wash over you.

Uh, and then I wrap his little tentacles around my arms.

It's sort of like this comforting BDs m thing.

We sleep.

It's really neither here nor there.

You stay there, I'll be back.

It's your right anyway.

So I asked you, who rocked your world in terms of the celebrity death.

Okay, so there's three categories I identified well kind of four.

There's the childhood nostalgia, people who remind us of our own mortality, suicides and then people who remind us of both our childhood and our own mortality.

So when a childhood nostalgia, Big one Alan Rickman Fuck, that fucked me up.

Alan Rickman.

If Professor Snape could die, parents could die.

We can die.

And what what messed me up about Alan Rickman was he was just like one day dead.

Same with David Bowie because they died.

I think, what, within a week of each other a month, very, very close together.

And it was like we didn't know anything was wrong.

And I remember telling my friend I was like they died as they lived with dignity and that, like, Oh, it hurt.

It hurt because I feel like that's rare.

These days you have people being like cancer diary, Day one, and look, I get why people do that in no shame in that.

But I am really super private about my health.

And I was like, Man, I realize I say private about my health because I think that if I don't inhabit a diagnosis like if I had not like cancer run and this is I don't have cancer, But like then it won't get me.

You know that I really believe in positive thinking and how our mind creates our body.

And I'm like, Wait a minute.

If Alan Rickman wasn't publicly defining himself as this person battling cancer, same with David Bowie and it's still took him.

Maybe my like superstitions for staying safe and keeping my family safe.

Maybe they don't work, and that's why it messed me up so bad.

People like Prince.

That was a big one for you guys.

Princess Diana.

I still remember where I was when I heard it was off, and same with JFK Junior and Carolyn, because I had to leave class like I was very young and I was like, I can't do it.

It was awful.

Robin Williams, that was another one.

That, and we'll talk about this more later.

But it's what is especially jarring is people who seem to have it all taking their own life and cause then you're like my idea of happiness and my metric a success, which I see in those people clearly ain't right.

So then what am I myself striving for?

I wanted a life.

Perhaps not like Robin Williams, specifically, but funny.

Beloved, scandal free.

It's like, Wait a minute.

If that man who brought so many smiles of so many people was so miserable, he took his own life.

Does happiness even exist?

These air existential questions, right?

They are deep and they are gnarly.

And this this is why people are religious, let you get it.

Wow!

One of my friends Oh, my God.

Literally.

I can't even talk about She lost her side to cancer and her Mormon faith.

God.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh But it's you get it, you get it, You know, because there's you want to think that there's a higher power making sense of something.

Also, some of us said John McCain.

I know.

I know that fucking bag a shit.

Dick Cheney.

He'll live forever.

He will outlive us all.

And John McCain is gone.

Robin Williams is guard.

Okay, So there's people whose suicides affected us a lot.

Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Alexander McQueen, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, you know, from Lincoln Park and Soundgarden again, it's people who, like have so much and you just think like dude, Whatever the problem was we could have fixed it like this too shall pass, You know, like you weren't in the mark selling child porn category.

It's like whatever was wrong, like, man.

And it just feels senseless.

And then you get angry, right?

Then comes the anger.

Suicide leaves so much, so much anger in its wake.

I experience it every single day of my life, and I will for the rest of my life.

And you don't know how to process it.

You don't know how to mourn for someone that is making you so fucking mad, and it seems so senseless, you know?

So there was that taps into that and the feeling of unfairness that we feel in life in a 1,000,000 different categories, from parking spaces to suicide.