Name: Stephen Colbert's LIVE Post-Debate Monologue: Fury Road To The White House 2020
Uploaded: 2020-03-12T09:10:16.000Z
Duration: 12 min 5 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, MONSIEUR AND

MR. AND MRS. AMERICA AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA.

AND THAT EXCITEMENT COMES FROM ONLY ONE THING-- WE ARE LIVE--

LOOK AT, THAT LIVE-- AFTER-- RIGHT THERE.

WE ARE LIVE FOLLOWING THE SOUTH CAROLINA DEBATE AIRING RIGHT

BLOOMBERG, AND JOE BIDEN, SO A LITTLE YOUNG FOR CBS.

I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S SPECIAL LIVE DEBATE

>> I'M GOING TO BEAT THIS MAN LIKE A DRUM!

>> Stephen: NOW, TONIGHT ON THAT HIGHWAY TO HELL, THE DEMOCRATS

MET IN MY HOMETOWN OF CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA.

AND THESE FOLKS SAID A LOT OF WORDS, AND I DID NOT HEAR MANY

THE CANDIDATES WERE SPEAK ALL OVER EACH OTHER.

I THINK THE QUOTE OF THE NIGHT HAD TO BE, "ARGLE BARGLE-MORBLE

HE SAID MY NAME!" NOW, ONE CANDIDATE-- IT SAYS

ONE CANDIDATE WASN'T EXACTLY IN TOP FORM COMING INTO THE DEBATE.

HERE'S JOE BIDEN LAST NIGHT: >> MY NAME'S JOE BIDEN.

I'M A DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR THE UNITED STATES SENATE.

THAT'S A TINY LITTLE GAFFE FROM PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE JOE

I'M SURE HE'LL NAIL THE REST OF THIS SENTENCE.

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, HELP OUT, IF NOT VOTE FOR THE OTHER

(  LAUGHTER  ) >> Stephen: "I'M JOE BIDEN AND

I'M RUNNING FOR BIDEN AGAINST THE OTHER BIDEN.

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, WRAP ME IN A BLANKET, AND TAKE ME TO

THE ADDRESS IS RIGHT HERE ON THE BRACELET.

THE DEBATE TONIGHT KICKED OFF WITH A COUPLE OF HAYMAKERS

>> THE ECONOMY IS DOING REALLY GREAT FOR PEOPLE LIKE

>> VLADIMIR PUTIN THINKS THAT DONALD TRUMP SHOULD BE PRESIDENT

OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THAT'S WHY RUSSIA IS HELPING YOU GET

THAT IS REALLY PUNCHING BELOW THE BELT, BUT THEN AGAIN,

(  LAUGHTER  ) BUT BERNIE HAD A SIMPLE MESSAGE

>> HEY, MR. PUTIN, IF I'M PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,

TRUST ME, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO INTERFERE IN ANY MORE AMERICAN

>> Stephen: (AS SANDERS) "BECAUSE IF I'M PRESIDENT, WE

I'LL MAKE SURE EVERYBODY GETS A PEBBLE AND WE ALL PUT THE PEBBLE

IN THE OLD COFFEE CAN OF THEIR CANDIDATE.

VOTE BERNIE-MAXWELL HOUSE 2020!" IT'S A SOLUTION!

THIS TIME-- THIS TIME IT WASN'T JUST BLOOMBERG ATTACKING

ALL THE CANDIDATES HAD THEIR TORCHES OUT TO SET FIRE TO THE

FOR INSTANCE, MAYOR PETE PROPOSED A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT.

>> IMAGINE SPENDING THE BETTER PART OF 2020 WITH BERNIE SANDERS

>> Stephen: PERSONALLY, I THINK IT WOULD BE GREAT BECAUSE BERNIE

AND TRUMP ARE THE ONLY TWO IMPRESSIONS I CAN DO.

DIRECT MYSELF AND CHASTEN TO THE NEAREST WINE CAVE?"

BIDEN TOUTED HIS SUCCESS AMONG BLACK VOTERS.

>> I'VE WORKED LIKE THE DEVIL TO EARN THE VOTE OF THE AFRICAN

>> Stephen: UNLIKE TRUMP, WHO HAS WORKED WITH THE DEVIL TO GET

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Stephen Colbert's LIVE Post-Debate Monologue: Fury Road To The White House 2020

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