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  • It's officially March, which means it's time

  • to fill out your bracket for the big NCAA Tournament.

  • But what if you don't like watching basketball?

  • Hmm? Maybe you think it hurts the ball

  • every time they bounce it on the floor.

  • Yes, you're a weirdo, but still...

  • we have just the tournament for you.

  • I'd like to introduce The Daily Show's

  • Trump's Best Word Bracket.

  • -(laughter, applause) -You see...

  • you see, President Trump has the best words.

  • And how do we know this?

  • Because... he told us.

  • I know words. I have the best words.

  • You know, I went to an Ivy League college.

  • I know a lot of words.

  • I have, like, this incredible vocabulary.

  • I guarantee I have a vocabulary better than all of them.

  • Believe it or not, I watch my words very carefully.

  • There are those that think I'm a very stable genius.

  • -Yeah. -(laughter, groans)

  • Yeah. There you go.

  • Trump may be bad at disease control,

  • immigration, domestic policy and literally everything else,

  • but when it comes to words,

  • he truly is the best.

  • So for March, just for March, we are hosting a tournament

  • to pick his best, best word.

  • Because, let me tell you,

  • he's got a lot of them.

  • In, uh, 1870,

  • President U-licious S. Grant...

  • President Franklin De-lay-no Roosevelt...

  • He was awarded the Bronze Star

  • and the Combat Infantroopen Badge.

  • ...heart, lung and liver transpants.

  • You're gonna see some sta-ticks...

  • suh-tick-six coming out...

  • ...by anonommmess...

  • really an anomonissss...

  • You know, we just set another slock rocket...

  • You saw that, right?

  • The stock market...

  • I hope they now go and take a look at the oranges,

  • the oranges of the, uh, uh, investigation.

  • The beginnings.

  • ...expectations in the House

  • for the midtowm... and midturn year.

  • ...and God bless the United Shaysh.

  • Thank you very much.

  • Yeah.

  • -(applause, cheering) -I don't know about you guys,

  • but I...

  • -I've never heard better words. -(laughter)

  • That clip makes me proud to live in the United Shaysh.

  • And I know a lot of... a lot of what happened there

  • had the haters going, "Oh, does Trump have dentures?

  • "Was his mouth dry?

  • Did Russia attack his tongue?"

  • No!

  • Trump just came up with a better word

  • for the country, and he used it.

  • Because our president has the best words.

  • And thank God he does.

  • You see, with so much uncertainty in the world,

  • the volatility of the slock rocket,

  • -(laughter) -all the negative climate suh-tick-six,

  • and so many Americans waiting for organ transpants,

  • it's comforting to know that we have a president

  • who comes from a higher place, unlike the rest of us,

  • who come from humble oranges.

  • (laughter)

  • And I could play... I could play clips of Trump all day

  • saying Trumpy words, but I'm not gonna do that.

  • Okay, I am gonna do that.

  • Declaring the whole state

  • to be a "stankchuary" for criminal...

  • Waive all "apliculibulls" state taxes.

  • Made a "pivittible..."

  • Really, and, I mean, this was pivotal.

  • A lot of work has been done. A lot of "renoversh."

  • If you look at some of it...

  • Shield and shelter "criminacle..."

  • Look, look, look.

  • "Heroilynn" alone,

  • if you look at the heroin epidemic.

  • "Veneswaylass..."

  • By "Venezwellzso..."

  • "Venezwhalezz..."

  • As Hurricane "Ermer" approaches...

  • In April of 20,014...

  • These historic "accomplimenshayz..."

  • Working to improve this country and "duurrrr" government.

  • "Enen" they "annouced" there was no "byesno..."

  • (laughter)

  • See that?

  • Trump is so great at words,

  • he doesn't even need to open his mouth to say them.

  • And, by the way, I want to take a second

  • to congratulate our graphics department

  • for fitting that word on the screen.

  • -Yeah. -(cheering and applause)

  • Really powerful. Well done, guys.

  • Three...

  • Three of our designers died in the attempt,

  • but it was worth it.

  • And of course, who can forget

  • the devastation of Hurricane "Ermer"?

  • So many "herms" were destroyed.

  • Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to be a "bermer."

  • (laughter)

  • So, what is Trump's best word?

  • Well, there are 64 for you to choose from,

  • and we've put them together in a bracket.

  • All you can do is pick the best noun,

  • adjective or whatever you like.

  • Just go to DailyShowBracket.com, and there,

  • you can watch every video of the clips and every word,

  • and you let us know which ones you think are the best.

  • Round one is open now, so please go and start picking.

  • Because Donald Trump has done many great things,

  • but the words he gives us will live on

  • as his most important "accomplimenshayz."

It's officially March, which means it's time

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