Name: Trump's New Hampshire Rally: Ivanka Is Beautiful, Coronavirus Will Go Away By Itself
Uploaded: 2020-03-12T02:30:03.000Z
Duration: 10 min 34 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW."

YOU KNOW WHY, JON, IT'S BECAUSE THE 2020 ELECTION IS FINALLY

TODAY WAS THE NEW HAMPSHIRE PRI SO AFTER A YEAR OF CAMPAIGNING,

WE ONLY HAVE NINE MONTHS TO GO.  I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LATEST IN

>> YOU'RE A LYING DOG-FACED PONY SOLDIER.

>> I THINK THEY WILL END UP BEING THE LOSERS.

>> Stephen: NOW, WE TAPED THE SHOW BEFORE THE POLLS CLOSED

TODAY SO WE DON'T KNOW WHO WON IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, OR IOWA.

( LAUGHTER )  BUT WE KNOW THE RESULTS FROM TH

MIDNIGHT PRIMARIES HELD IN TOWNS LIKE DIXVILLE NOTCH-- WHICH, OF

COURSE, IS A TINY HAMLET ON THE  BORDER OF TAINTOWN TRENCH, NEXT

TO GRUNDLETON, PENIS TOWNSHIP,  AND MUNCHBUTT CANYON.

(  LAUGHTER  )  THE DIXVILLE NOTCH PRIMARY HAD

>> AS WE WATCH THIS, THIS WILL  BE LIKE AN ATHLETIC EVENT. WE

CAN DO COLOR COMMENTARY. FIRST OF ALL, WE NEED TO ESTABLISH

THAT NORTHERN NEW ENGLAND IS STA BEAUTIFUL AND THAT THERE ARE

PORTIONS OF NORTHERN NEW  HAMPSHIRE WHERE MOOSE WAY

OUTNUMBER PEOPLE, AS IT SHOULD B  (  LAUGHTER  )

>> Stephen: "AS IT SHOULD BE?" THAT'S A LITTLE ODD, BUT IT

EXPLAINS HIS SIGN-OFF: ( AS WILLIAMS ) "FOR MSNBC, I'M BRIAN

BOW BEFORE OUR MOOSE MASTERS,  YOU HUMAN SCUM. GOOD NIGHT."

(  LAUGHTER  ) BLOOMBERG WON DIXVILLE IN A

LANDSLIDE, BUT THAT'S NOT SAYING MUCH, GIVEN THAT THE TOWN ONLY

HE USED HIS CASH ADVANTAGE TO BUY TARGETED ADVERTISING, LIKE:

THE OTHER BIG MIDNIGHT WINNER WAS MINNESOTA SENATOR AMY

KLOBUCHAR, SEEN HERE DOING A TIGHT FIVE AT THE POT LUCK.

EVEN THOUGH BLOOMBERG SNAGGED DIXVILLE NOTCH, WHEN THE THREE

MIDNIGHT PRIMARIES, DIXVILLE NOTCH, HART'S LOCATION, AND

MILLSFIELD, WERE TALLIED TOGETHER, KLOBUCHAR HAD WON THE

MOST VOTES, WITH A WHOPPING TOTAL OF EIGHT.

THAT REMINDS ME OF THE NUMBER OF YEARS I SPENT IN THE WHITE HOUSE

OF COURSE, THE VICE PRESIDENT'S OF COURSE, THE VICE PRESIDENT IS

NOT DOING ALL THAT WELL IN THE GRANITE STATE.

BEFORE THE VOTES WERE EVEN  COUNTED, BIDEN AND HIS WIFE FLEW

OUT TO "A SOUTH CAROLINA LAUNCH  DOESN'T EXACTLY SOUND CONFIDENT.

THAT'S LIKE A GUY ON HIS WEDDING DAY SAYING, "TO LOVE, HONOR, AND

CHERISH 'TIL DEATH DO US PART.  NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE

ON THE EVE OF THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY, PRESIDENT TRUMP HELD

A RALLY IN MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE, BECAUSE HE COULDN'T

STAND THE IDEA OF OTHER PEOPLE GETTING ANY ATTENTION.

AND WHILE HE WAS THERE, HE TOOK SOME TIME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

>> ON TUESDAY, I DELIVERED MY ADDRESS ON THE STATE OF THE

UNION, AND I HAD SOMEBODY BEHIND ME WHO WAS MUMBLING TERRIBLY,

>> Stephen: THAT WAS REALLY LATE ON THAT.

HAVE I BEEN USING THE WORD "MUMBLING" INCORRECTLY?

( AS TRUMP ) "SHE WAS MUMBLING: OH, HA, HO,

WORST OF ALL, WHISTLING: CHA-HA, CHA-cHA-CHA!"

TRUMP TOOK TIME TO TELL THE PEOPLE OF NEARBY CONCORD HOW

CONCORD, THAT'S THE SAME CONCORD THAT WE READ ABOUT ALL THE TIME,

>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, YOU DO NOT READ ANY OF THE TIME.

SECOND, NO, IT IS NOT THAT SAME COP CONCORDE.

( AS TRUMP ) "YOUR CITY ONCE FOUGHT THE RED

COATS WITH A SUPERSONIC JET THAT COULD MAKE THE TRIP FROM NEW

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT HE LOVES-- SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT

HE ACTUALLY LOVES, TRUMP INTRODUCED A VERY SPECIAL GUEST.

>> ALSO, A WOMAN THAT NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE KNOW, VERY POWERFUL,

VERY SMART, VERY BEAUTIFUL-- EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ALLOWED TO

SAY THAT, BECAUSE SHE'S MY DAUGHTER-- IVANKA.

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Trump's New Hampshire Rally: Ivanka Is Beautiful, Coronavirus Will Go Away By Itself

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