Name: Patton Oswalt Is Shocked When Stephen Colbert Tells Him To Skip "The Hobbit"
Uploaded: 2020-03-11T18:30:22.000Z
Duration: 9 min 20 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

>> Stephen: FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS A GRAMMY AND

EMMY AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN WHO I ALWAYS ENJOY TALKING TO,

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW MR. PATTON OSWALT.

>> Stephen: I FEEL LIKE I KIND OF SEE YOU AND FOLLOW YOU ON

TWITTER, AND I CATCH PEARLS OF WISDOM EVERY SO OFTEN.

>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG, IT'S BEEN

ALMOST TWO YEARS OR SOMETHING SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN ON HERE AND

WE MISS PATTON OSWALT, WHAT IS WRONG, WHAT DID I SAY, WHAT DID

I AM TRAVELING, I AM ON THE ROAD AND I'M FLYING OUT ALMOST EVERY

>> Stephen: IS THAT STRESSFUL, ALL THAT TRAVELING AROUND, DOES

>> IT GETS YOU A LITTLE WEARY AND I'M VERY PARANOID ABOUT LIKE

THE CORONAVIRUS AND EVERYONE ON THE PLANE.

>> Stephen: EVERYONE IS DOING STANDUP IN WITH YOU HAND

>> NO, I AM BOXED THERE FOR A HANDSHAKING FESES VAL WHICH I'M

CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS, BECAUSE I WAS TOLD THIS HAD SOMETHING TO

DO WITH THAT ANXIETY OF YOURS, I WILL SHOW IT TO YOU FIRST, SO

SO I AM GOING TO, DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAN THIS OR SHOULD I SHOW

>> WHEN I FLY ON PLANES I AM-- HALF OF THEM ARE COUGHING

AND SNEEDZING SO I PUT A LITTLE THING OVER MY FACE THAT I-- YES,

>> Stephen: IS IT NECESSARY TO LOOK LIKE A CHARACTER FROM A

>> ST ME BEING PARANOID AND OF COURSE THE INTERNET SET ME RIGHT

GOING OH, THAT MASK DOESN'T BLOCK ANYTHING, AND IF ANYTHING,

IT CREATES A MOIST ENVIRONMENT THAT MAKES VIRUSES, AGAIN, JUST

COMPLETELY MADE ME TEN TIMES MORE PARANOID ABOUT EVERYTHING.

>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, IF I SAW YOU ON MY PLANE I WOULD

>> Stephen: THIS WOULD NOT CALM THE REST OF US DOWN.

>> Stephen: LIKE DRIVING THROUGH THE LINCOLN TUNNEL

LOOKING OVER TO THE GUY NEXT TOY AND HE HAS SCUBA GEAR ON.

>> WELL, THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH FACE MASKS LIKE

SURGICAL FACE MASKS AM I'M TRYING TO BE A LITTLE STYLISH

AND POST APOC TIP LICK-- APOCALYPTIC WITH IT.

>> Stephen: NOTHING CAMS PEOPLE DOWN LIKE POST

>> WEIRDLY ENOUGH ON MY FLIGHT LAST WEEKEND, IT WAS A MORNING

FLIGHT, WE GET IN, EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO SLEEP.

BUT I GUESS I GOT UP TO USE THE REST ROOM A COUPLE OF TIMES WITH

I GUESS I WAS SCUTTLING THROUGH THE PLANE, AND THEN I GET MY

FROM OF ALL PEOPLE JACK RYAN, JOHN COUNTRIES INSKY WAS SITTING

ACROSS-- CRIS INSKY WAS SITTING ACROSS, HE DMED ME, BIZARRE

QUESTION, ARE YOU DRESSED AS A NINJA ON A FLIGHT TO L.A.?

(APPLAUSE) IF SO I MAY BE SITTING NEXT TO

>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, HOW LITTLE ICON TACT DO YOU MAKE IN

AND HE'S JOHN CRYZINSKY, HE IS TALLER SITTING DOWN THAN I AM

IF YOU LOOK AT THE TONE OF THE MESSAGE, YES, HE SEEMED FRIENDLY

AND FUNNY BUT THERE IS SOME FEAR IN THAT, LIKE ARE YOU?

>> THERE IS A PATTON SHAPED NINJA FOR SOME REASON.

SO I EITHER HAD SOME REALLY BAD SCRAMBLED EGGS AND I'M

HALLUCINATING OR SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

>> Stephen: I SAW SOMETHING ONLINE THE OTHER DAY WHICH I

>> SHE WILL STILL DO, WHAT I LIKE ABOUT I POST VIDEO SHE WILL

>> SHE IS ON THE VERY EDGE OF THE EYE ROLLING STAGE BUT STILL

>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE THAT YOU BROUGHT.

YOU WANT TO SET UP WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

>> YEAH, I TWEETED THIS OUT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

WE HAVE BEEN, I HAVE BEEN READING H.E.R. THE HARRY POTTER

AND WE, AND THE OTHER NIGHT I WAS, WE WERE READING NUMBER

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Patton Oswalt Is Shocked When Stephen Colbert Tells Him To Skip "The Hobbit"

anxiety

recognize

applause

bizarre