now this weeks video is something that you have asked

for alot and it has to do with my borderline personality

disorder video the BPD video that I put up

so if you havent watched that, check that out.

but this is kind of diving deeper into DBT therapy

Dialectical and Behavioural therapy.

now DBT therapy is a type of therapy that is used alot for Borderline Personality Disorder patients

and theres a woman Martia Lineham and I never know if i say her last name right.

Martia wrote a lot of books about it and created DBT therapy

and one of the main components of DBT therapy is mindfulnes.

ok so what is mindfulness? im being mindful right now, that word is used a lot

but in DBT therapy its very specific and its very detailed. like, way too detailed

but, today im going to talk to you about kind of the'what' skills of mindfulness

and mindfulness is broken down into about 6 different skill sets

and today im just going to talk about 3. so you can see why DBT is a practice. its

something that you, as a clinician, study, eat, breathe, sleep if thats all you do

9 til 5 or 9 til 6.30 or whatever your work day is, every day, all day.

so mindfulness is a way we can help regulate our emotions

and to that i mean if we're feeling, honestly if we have borderline personality

disorder we're like i dont know how I feel, i just feel overwhelmed, thats how I feel

but, if we're feeling a lot of emotions and theyre just building up and waah we feel overwhelmed,

mindfulness will help bring us back down. and the first thing we want to do is observe.

and i know that seems really bizarre, but what i mean is, if you start

feeling anxious, but you dont quite know what it is yet. you just have that sense

tat somethings building, right. we start to notice. hey my palms are getting sweaty,

my heart is racing, im breathing faster and my thoughts are going a million miles a minute

and all this stuff is happening. we need to notice that right. we dont need to control it.

we dont need to control whats happening. we can control our focus of it but we dont have to control the actual emotion

does that make sense, we're just watching and we're noticing.

and i read a couple of articles and people describe it as having almost like

a teflon mind. teflon being those frying pans that nothing sticks to cos we're not letting

anything take hold of us, we're not ruminating about being angry, sad,mad

happy,elated, whatever we feel we're not sticking on it we're just noticing.

ok? and that even in itself with my clients, thats months of work.

right, just to observe, but thats something we can do slowly but surely. we just take note

observe whats happening, when we have those kind of breakdowns where you feel

like your heads going to explode, notice what that was like, how did it build up. what happened today and yesterday

and you kind of go back and observe. then, and i made notes because sometimes this gets a little tricky

so after we've observed then we need to describe the experience.

so like i was saying after we've looked inside ourselves and noticed our palms were

sweaty this is happening, then try to put words to it. we dont have to know the emotion yet

because a lot of times, and for many of you, i know Jess, we've talked a lot and you're

like, i dont know how im feeling and we have those happy and sad pictures you put up.

this is the time when you have to put words to it. those words being my heart was racing, i felt this, i felt this.

it doesnt have to be an emmotional description, how was our body responding?

ok so try to put words to your experience. now that takes some time aswell, but you can ]

see how they kind of go hand in hand, how the observe goes hand in hand with the

describing and putting words to it. so the last portion that im going to talk

about today is participate, and im reading my notes cos like i said there are 6 parts

of just this portion. so this is kind of letting yourself act intuitively and participate in life

so FEEl angry, FEEL sad, FEEL elated, FEEL in love, feel whatever, right

whatever youre feeling, feel it. come from your wise mind, and we'll talk about that in another video

stay tuned for wise mind. but come from a place of the observe and the putting words

to the experience, but still have the experience, you dont need to hold back and not

allow yourself it and be so controlled we're not controlling our emotions, we're controlling

how long we allow ourselves to deal with it and ruminate on it. does that make sense?

the difference between participating and responding to it? thats almost like

i guess if i was going to give youa good analogy. i get a ticket on my car come out and the parking metre is up

and i got a ticket and im like son of a hfkshfgashfbakh right, i respond immediately.

and lets say i see the metre maid and im like, you son of a bitch sfkjanfjn and i just lose

it, that would be responding. but if im going to participate i would say to myself,

that really sucks! I dont have 65 bucks thats so frustrating i should have planned better

and i just allow myself to feel upset, but im not ruminating im not responding

im not reacting i guess is the best word, im just participating ok?

so this is gonna be a very long period of time we're going to do many videos on this topic

because its very haard to comprehend and it takes time and practise. but this week we're

going to practice mindfulness. so i want you this week to observe. lets just do number 1

i know we had 3 things we had observe, then we would describe it and put words to it. then

we would participate, but this week we're just going to observe. so notice how youre feeling in your

body and whats going on, before you reach that overwhelmed stage. and leave comments below if any of you have done

DBT therapy i know many of you have and youve had great results. leave your tips and

tricks and things that have helped and how helpful DBT therapy was and if it wasnt let me know.

like hey i like THIS kind of therapy better and we can do videos on that too cos thats what we do

i listen to you you speak to me and i do the videos that people want most, and if you like this video

give it a thumbs up and let me know, and dont forget to check out my borderline video that i talked about earlier

and dont forget to subscribe to my channel because like i said i'll be putting out many videos

on this topic so you want to make sure to stay tuned and catch it, and keep working

with me towards a healthy mind and a healthy body

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