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  • Hello, people of the Internet.

  • So I woke up this morning on four hours of sleep, running a spicy little fever and bleeding out of my vagina.

  • And I thought, You know what seems like a great day to film a video?

  • Trust me.

  • Normally I am pretty functional on my period.

  • But today I am experiencing the mother of all periods.

  • I should have seen this coming, too, because for the past three days I've had the most intense PMS cravings, which I don't even know where.

  • A thing off my entire life.

  • I have literally been coming home from class, grabbing two pints of dairy free ice cream standing in the kitchen with both of them open two different spoons, just like alternating between the two flavors.

  • I don't know what is happening to my body, but it is not enjoying itself right now.

  • Today I thought I'd just take it easy on myself and my genitals.

  • I have a pile of things here that just need a little bit of fixing up.

  • I also just find that, like, weirdly soothing to fix things, which probably explains a lot about my ex boyfriends.

  • I also have some teeth of course.

  • And some tea to spill.

  • So first on the agenda, we have these pantaloons from Urban Outfitters.

  • I love these two deaths.

  • They're like the grandpa pants of my dreams.

  • They're so frigging comfortable.

  • But they are a little bit long for me.

  • So I have just been holding it up once at the bottom.

  • But as I walk, the fold has just been, like giggling out.

  • So I didn't want it.

  • Uh uh, No, I've been really gassy.

  • D'oh!

  • So I don't want to do anything to permanent to these because I'm 20 and still holding out hope that will have a growth spurt at some point.

  • So I want this to be reversible in case I finally eat enough beans and grow tall and strong, like my mother said.

  • So I'm still, like, fold this over once like so and then I'm gonna put a tiny little stitch on either side.

  • Just hold it in place.

  • But it will still be really, really easy to take out If I ever I changed my mind like I always do because I'm an indecisive piece of trash already.

  • One side done also, I apologize if I flash you guys with like my pad at any point in this video today was just not in a tampon moved.

  • A couple people have mentioned that I should try the Diva Cup because so much easier.

  • It's just one thing.

  • It's like reusable.

  • It was good for the environment, but lake Well, sometimes, like I'm just not in the mood to put my fingers up my vagina.

  • Especially like when you're not 40 it really sucks to put your fingers up there.

  • You know what I'm saying?

  • I don't wear campaigns that regularly, but whatever I do, I have to like George around there a little bit to get myself turned on before I put it up.

  • Because otherwise it's just gonna be too painful, real talk.

  • I actually used to feel like so much shame about masturbation because I kind of like humping things.

  • Since I was a lovely like 12 I didn't really understand what I was doing, but like eventually I guess that you're out.

  • It was a sexual thing, and then I just felt super super shitty about it.

  • I don't know if sex ed is different now, but I remember when I was in sixth grade they stop reading all of the guys and the girls And they took the guys outside and they talk to them about masturbation, and all the girls sat inside the classroom and they just left us alone and didn't tell us shit.

  • Admittedly, I know that guys figure out that masturbation is a thing before girls, but I can't believe they just fucking left us in the dark.

  • And then they never told us about it later, like Alright, here we go.

  • The pants are finished.

  • Oh, what craftsmanship.

  • But bam!

  • Look at that.

  • Him.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Gonna love me A good, sexy grandpa pant.

  • And now I can walk around and they won't fall down or anything like that.

  • I feel like that was just a really sexual moment for everybody who has a foot finished.

  • But, um, we're gonna move on now.

  • Okay, Next on the agenda, we have this leopard print skirt.

  • I have mixed feelings about leopards trend that's happening right now, but I figured, you know why not?

  • I'll buy a little something and experiment this.

  • Give me a little bit of cave man vibes, but I feel like if I pair it with a black T shirt or something.

  • It won't look too Flintstones.

  • So when this car arrived, it was a little bit too long for me.

  • So I don't know if you can see here, but Okay, I'm gonna show you because I feel like I'm doing a very bad job of explaining what's going on right now.

  • This is how the skirt normally is.

  • And I feel like this is a little bit long on me and a little bit straight across.

  • So because I am scandalous like that, I'm gonna move this section of the skirt a little bit in it where I want it to end up, and then I'm just gonna do a tiny little stitch that'll hopefully hold it in place.

  • I really hold that made sense.

  • So here is what it looks like pinned.

  • So it'll be a little bit shorter already.

  • What is next on the agenda?

  • Kiddos, let's talk about period sex, shall we?

  • I have actually never had period sex.

  • Let me know.

  • You guys has thoughts of below.

  • I'm definitely not opposed to it.

  • I just never I dated a guy who was around me during my period because we didn't live that close together.

  • My question is, at the end, is there just kind of like a puddle of blood on whatever poor towel you've laid out?

  • Does your vagina liquids kind of prevent the blood from coming out?

  • I don't know.

  • Maybe I'll find out one day.

  • Here is what the finished product looks like.

  • There's no good angle to show this.

  • I think it turned out quite well.

  • I love that.

  • It's got, like, just a subtle bit of, Ah, the action going on down there And the white is video.

  • So sexual guys, Next, we have probably our most intense repair of the day, which is more of an alteration.

  • Basically, I got this really cute dress from urban, but it is kind of too long for me.

  • People try it on.

  • This is turning into a lot of work.

  • Okay, I wanted this video to be low effort.

  • It's a little bit secular, so I already tried this on earlier, and I marked with a safety pin where I wanted the hem to end.

  • I'm gonna fold it over and do a quick little him, and I'm not gonna use my sewing machine because I honestly like too lazy to get that out right now.

  • It's like a whole project.

  • So I'm just gonna d'oh an invisible stitch less.

  • It'll be, like, really even undo if I realized that I fucked up organic.

  • I have a growth spurt, really holding out hope.

  • So is most of you guys know I'm back in school now?

  • Although I never really left school.

  • I just had a sick, like three and 1/2 months.

  • Summer.

  • I am taking this producing class and I am so goddamn over it.

  • This guy is probably, like, 85.

  • He is close to the grave, and he was teaching our TV class, which for the most part, it's pretty interesting.

  • But not a single day goes by when he doesn't shit on digital media.

  • I have to read this entire book called Television is the new television, which is about how digital media is like failing and television will always succeed, which is some bullshit.

  • That offer is so goddamn sassy.

  • Um, yeah.

  • Recently, one of our guest lecturers who was a reality TV producer, roundly showed us this clip of a TV show he made in which little people competed in sports against animals.

  • We sat in class for five minutes and watched this relay race off four little people against a single camel.

  • And it's almost bizarre.

  • Oh, shit I've ever seen.

  • When it was finally over, the producer was so proud that he didn't mention in the video that the little people were short.

  • I was like, Sir, is that your idea of diversity?

  • Because you literally just raced them against an animal like in a circus like That's not okay.

  • And apparently he made, like, several $1,000,000 on that idea.

  • So that is why I love Hollywood so much.

  • So the other day I was talking to my friend and we were talking about where we might want to move.

  • After we graduated.

  • My friend said that she was interested in this neighborhood in your downtown.

  • The rent was really affordable.

  • Then she was like, Oh, well, I'm a woman in my twenties and it won't be safe for me to live there.

  • So I'll just have to live somewhere else.

  • I was like, Oh, yeah, about socks, like maybe trying another neighborhood in a couple hours later, we're still talking and we circle back to that.

  • We were like, Wait a second.

  • Why the hell do you like all of us as women just accept that there are some places that we can't live because we'll get, like, raped or assaulted.

  • It also just got me kind of riled up because obviously I'm looking at places to live after I graduate, too.

  • And some places are just off the map because I'm not gonna be able to go outside at night or even alone during the afternoon and be able to not get, like, sexually harassed walking down the street.

  • I don't know.

  • I just wish that I could go outside alone when I wanted Thio at whatever time of day I wanted Thio and feel like I wasn't going to die would be great.

  • So Halloween is coming up, and I feel like there's always controversy every year about the most absurd, sexy Halloween costumes for a woman possible sexy Corn is one of my favorites of all time sexy.

  • Burton Journey is also kind of up there.

  • You guys, it is editing, actually in November, and I wanted to apologize that these references to Halloween or somewhat outdated and to clarify that it's not because I'm a lazy editor.

  • I've actually had this video finish for over a month now.

  • But when I initially uploaded, it got to monetized.

  • I've been spending the last month trying to go through various people at YouTube to try to convince them to monetize it, but they basically refused to, and I'm not gonna be salty about the money or anything like that.

  • That's not the most important thing to me.

  • The thing that I care about most is that YouTube and the advertisers that partner with YouTube are systematically discouraging people and specifically woman and people from the LGBT community from talking about real things that happen to their bodies.

  • Whereas people like Logan Pole get to show a dead body on screen and don't get to monetize or people who say sexist or racist things or prank channels that go way too far, that stuff is socially acceptable.

  • But talking about something that is safe and normal, like periods and masturbation isn't It's really frustrating to me.

  • I know that YouTube has to answer to advertisers and advertisers have to answer to the general public, but I just wish that the content that I made and my salary off of that wasn't beholden to just the lowest common denominator of what is socially acceptable Anyways, back to the video.

  • Overall, I absolutely think Halloween is indicative of a greater problem that we have, Ah, viewing women as sex objects.

  • What I will say.

  • One thing I appreciate about you sell A is that Halloween is really unequal opportunity employer and that the guys dress up like super fucking sexy to their objectifying themselves just as much as the girls are freshman year.

  • When I went out for Halloween, my over he's may or may not have exploded.

  • There were so many shirtless guys guys in Togo's that were basically just covering like one nipple shirtless firefighter.

  • Guys, there were a couple of guys just in Speedos, which isn't really my sexual fantasy.

  • But, you know, they were really, really letting it all out there, too.

  • So at least I can appreciate that.

  • For every girl who has her ass cheeks out, there's a guy who probably also has his ass cheeks out.

  • Last Halloween, though, as I was walking home, I did see on ambulance and what may or may not have been an amputated limb sitting on the sidewalk.

  • So I'm really hoping that it was a fake limb and some fake blood, but I did not bother looking closer.

  • Stay safe this Halloween, kids, can we also talk about how weird it was that your parents and your teachers were so paranoid that strangers were gonna poison your candy?

  • I feel like if you were going to be a mass child murderer, you come up with something more creative than slipping some rat poison in a fucking Snickers bar.

  • Okay, every single year, we have, like, 1/2 an hour lecture about how you shouldn't eat any candy that had been opened on one side.

  • Maybe my hometown just had, like, a dark history of kids dying by Halloween poisoning.

  • It always seemed like they were trying a little too hard.

  • You know how there's always that one, that one fucking dentist or, like, health buff that gives you Pressel's instead of candy on Halloween?

  • Or, God forbid, they give you a rush.

  • That's not the goddamn point of Halloween, is it?

  • Actually, to be fair, now that I'm in college, I would be genuinely grateful if somebody handed me a toothbrush at any time of the year.

  • Those things cost, like, $3 I have to buy it for my fucking self.

  • No, thank you, sir.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, God, you can kind of see my underwear.

  • I think it turned out quite well.

  • If I may say so myself.

  • I'm actually just gonna wear this dress for the rest of this video because that long sleeve T shirt was making me really sweaty.

  • And it's not a good combination with the fever.

  • Hopefully won't flash you guys, but if I do, you can just deal with it, all right?

  • And our final D i y we just have this cashmere sweater that I thrift id, like, a couple months ago now, And it has a tiny, tiny little hole in the front.

  • Should be really simple to just stitch that baby up and get this this sweater crack a lacking.

  • So I'm just approaching this whole from the back.

  • That's what he said.

  • Okay, honestly, just fever is actually getting kind of bad.

  • Normally, when I get a fever, I'm not quite sure if it's just because my apartment is super hot and I don't have a C or if I genuinely and sick I feel like I've had a light fever going for, like, three weeks now, But this one's kind of bad.

  • Yeah.

  • I might actually be sick this time.

  • To be fair, it would kind of make sense if I was sick because I haven't been sleeping.

  • I've also been seeing this guy who had a really bad flu and had to go to the hospital for it.

  • But I only found that out after I made out with his face.

  • I want so yeah, probably fucking have the flute.

  • That would make a lot of sense, actually, radio.

  • I'm just gonna tie up this baby, all right?

  • And I don't even know if you guys can see.

  • But there used to be a hole there, and the hole is no longer fuck it.

  • I'll try this on, even though I'm gonna get so sweaty and then I'm gonna have to dry clean this fucking letter.

  • The things I do for this channel.

  • There we go, looking looking cute.

  • And with that, that brings us to the end of this bizarro video.

  • This is gonna be a weird one toe edit, because I just rambled for, like, two hours straight.

  • I don't know of anything I said made sense.

  • I'm kind of in a fever state right now, So have fun editing Ashley.

  • I love you, girl.

  • Thank you so much for watching us always.

  • I hope you guys had a good time hanging out with me and I'll see you guys next week.

  • Bye.

Hello, people of the Internet.

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