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  • Hello, Trevor.

  • Oh, hello, Ellen.

  • Hello, everybody.

  • Thanks for having me back.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You're a funny man.

  • You're a funny man.

  • And I saw you at the Grammys.

  • We were both nominated for--

  • We were both nominated for a Grammy.

  • We were both Grammy nominees for comedy album.

  • And then Grammy losers, yeah.

  • I don't like to think of it as losers.

  • I think everybody was a nominee.

  • And then one person is going to win the award.

  • And that person was Dave Chappelle.

  • I mean, you know, Dave Chappelle winning the comedy,

  • I'm not offended by that.

  • No, I'm not, either.

  • But he wasn't there to get the award.

  • Which, I think, we were both in our seats.

  • We were.

  • And I saw him backstage.

  • He showed up after the--

  • Yes.

  • He got there late.

  • And I said, you don't deserve it.

  • Yeah.

  • I agree.

  • Because he was at the bar.

  • Yeah.

  • And then he missed the award.

  • And I was like, that should be a rule.

  • Whoever gets to the award first should get it.

  • Yes.

  • And then it would have been me and you.

  • Yes, we both would have won.

  • Yeah, anyway, congratulations for your nomination.

  • Thank you so much.

  • Congratulations for yours.

  • You're a funny man.

  • I learned this today, which, I need to talk to you about.

  • First of all, do you play tennis?

  • I do now.

  • OK, this is the craziest thing.

  • You've played with Rafael Nadal.

  • Yes, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, and Bill Gates,

  • in the biggest tennis match that's ever been attended,

  • the largest tennis match of all time, 52,000 people.

  • Where was this?

  • In Cape Town, South Africa.

  • OK.

  • How did this-- just because you're a big celebrity there?

  • How did you get into that?

  • This was really strange.

  • So I don't know how this happened.

  • But I think I've become friends with Bill Gates.

  • And I say that--

  • I've just met him many times.

  • And we have conversations.

  • And then one day, he phoned.

  • And he was like, hey, do you want to play tennis with me?

  • And I was like, yes.

  • And he was like, in Cape Town.

  • I was like, well, that's a long way

  • to go to play tennis, but yes.

  • And then he said, with Roger Federer.

  • And I was like this, is a very strange request.

  • And it turns out, Roger Federer has

  • this foundation that raises money

  • to improve education in and around Africa

  • and all over the world, really.

  • And they wanted me to play tennis with them.

  • And I was like, I'm in, I'm in.

  • I didn't know how to play tennis, though.

  • But I didn't want to tell them this.

  • Because when cool people invite you to things,

  • you're just like, yeah, yeah, I'm in.

  • And so I was like, I'm in.

  • And then they were like, do you know to play tennis?

  • I was like, yeah.

  • You do the, you know, the thing.

  • Ah.

  • Ah.

  • And then, two months before the event, Roger's people called.

  • And they're like, hey, can we see

  • a video of you playing tennis?

  • And so I called my friend.

  • And I said, hey, let's go play some tennis.

  • And we'll video this and send it to them.

  • And then we got there.

  • And I could not-- people think tennis is easy.

  • I could not hit the ball to where

  • I was trying to hit the ball.

  • I could hit the ball, but not in the direction

  • that I was trying to get it to go.

  • And then I panicked.

  • And then I was just like, I'm screwed.

  • And then I got a coach.

  • And then I told him my phone doesn't work,

  • it can't send videos right now.

  • So I got a tennis coach.

  • And then in two months, I had to learn tennis

  • from scratch, one of the craziest things I've ever

  • done in my life.

  • So you played every single day, learning?

  • Every single day, two and a half to three hours,

  • every single day, just learning how to play tennis.

  • You see me at the back, that's two months of me learning,

  • this here, panicking right now.

  • I'm just like--

  • I'm the person who's panicking.

  • There, that's me.

  • Oh, look at that!

  • You've got it!

  • Yeah, that's me.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You did it!

  • Panic.

  • Panic.

  • And so it was wild was-- this was crazy.

  • So I get the tennis coach.

  • But now, there's confusion.

  • Because the Roger Federer people phoned the tennis coach.

  • And they go, hey, this guy needs a coach.

  • And the tennis coaching place is like,

  • what does he need a coach for?

  • They're like, oh, he's playing tennis against Roger Federer.

  • So they think I'm a professional.

  • So they go, oh, we've got the right person.

  • This guy trains professionals.

  • I need to be taught like a child.

  • I don't know how to play the game.

  • So I get there.

  • And he's like-- he's from Eastern Europe.

  • So he's very-- he's like, OK, you ready to play some tennis?

  • And I'm like, yeah, let's do it.

  • He's like, OK, how much have you played before?

  • I was like, nothing.

  • He's like, hehe, funny guy.

  • OK.

  • He's like, let's hit ball.

  • And then he hits it to me.

  • And then I do my thing.

  • And then the ball goes.

  • He's like, oh, you haven't played in a while?

  • I was like, if "a while" is life, then yes, a while.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • So he says to me, OK, hit again, hit again.

  • And after like five or six, he looks at me.

  • He's like, how much you play tennis?

  • I've never played.

  • He's like, but you're playing Roger Federer in two months.

  • Then I'm like, yeah.

  • He's like, oh, this-- this is big problem for you.

  • So now he doesn't really know how to coach me.

  • And so what he does is-- this the most amazing thing.

  • He hits the ball to me.

  • And he doesn't know how to teach me because I'm just useless.

  • And so he just keeps going-- he's like, Trevor,

  • he's like, OK just brush the ball.

  • The ball comes.

  • Then I hit, it does nothing.

  • He's like, no, brush the ball.

  • So I'm trying.

  • He's like, no, brush the ball.

  • But he doesn't change his instruction.

  • He just keeps saying it.

  • He's like, brush.

  • OK, now, brush it!

  • Brush it!

  • No, brush it.

  • No, brush it.

  • No, brush.

  • Brush the ball.

  • No, you didn't brush it!

  • You've got to brush it!

  • What did I say?