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  • I love sending my executive producer, Andy, to try

  • a lot of different things.

  • He usually does an incredibly average job.

  • Recently I sent him to Monster Jam

  • to learn from a monster truck champion,

  • and here's what happened.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • (SINGING) He's an executive producer on the Ellen Show.

  • He works hard every day.

  • He's super duper awesome at what he does,

  • but he's average in every other way.

  • [ENGINE REVVING]

  • Hi, I'm B.J. Johnson.

  • I'm a 20-year veteran with Monster Jam.

  • I built 45 trucks in the last five years for the company,

  • and I have 40 event championships.

  • And I'm Andy.

  • What am I looking here?

  • What am I working with?

  • State-of-the-art, computer-generated chassis.

  • The body's all fiberglass.

  • Well, how's this supposed to-- what happens

  • if I bump into something, this breaks?

  • Well, then we'll just fix it.

  • I know, but you can't fix me.

  • To get in, you actually crawl up here.

  • Oh, I see.

  • See?

  • Yep.

  • What do I hold?

  • Whatever you can grab onto.

  • OK, all right.

  • Don't yell at me, B.J. I'm trying.

  • [BJ CHUCKLES]

  • All right, here we go.

  • I'm in.

  • Wow.

  • So--

  • You drive the front with this, with your left hand.

  • And you're going to drive the back with this.

  • No, no, no.

  • If we look down here, we just have a shifter.

  • This turns the truck on.

  • So this would be the key.

  • So every one of these are up.

  • So any time you would grab this, we say, 1, 2.

  • Pull it back into gear, have you hit

  • that button that says starter.

  • You hit it, and it fires up.

  • These trucks run a remote ignition interrupter.

  • So let the switch go, it centers on itself.

  • That means that everything's good, the track's clear,

  • and we're good to go.

  • Why can't you be in here with me?

  • [BJ CHUCKLES]

  • I have faith in you.

  • You're going to be fine.

  • Yeah.

  • That's your first mistake.

  • So over here, this is all your gear.

  • Simpson fire coat.

  • Just in case there was an emergency and a fire,

  • this saves you.

  • Why would there be a fire?

  • There shouldn't be.

  • Hey, let me ask you a question.

  • If you're wearing all that stuff,

  • do they get to see your face ever?

  • No.

  • Because this is my moneymaker.

  • [BJ CHUCKLES]

  • Why are you laughing?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • All right, so now?

  • Put that headsock on.

  • It's open.

  • It's got a big open hole in it.

  • Oh, wow.

  • This is like how they cover the heads in Narcos, Mexico.

  • [MOANING]

  • OK, just lean forward a little bit.

  • Lean forward-- no, no.

  • [GAGGING]

  • We're getting a little aggressive there, B.J.

  • All I want you to do is just drive nice and slow

  • around the track.

  • OK, I got it.

  • We don't have to do no hot dogging or nothing like that.

  • I don't even know what hot dogging is.

  • I don't know who can hear me, but here's the thing.

  • If anything should happen to me, it's important to me

  • that Ellen gives my family all of her money.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Not most of it, but all of it.

  • And she will be allowed to live in one of our guest quarters.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Andy, put your foot on the brake.

  • I want you to start the truck up.

  • [ENGINE TURNS OVER]

  • You're clear to go, buddy.

  • Holy [BLEEP].

  • Oh God.

  • Now I want you to reach over, and I

  • want you to take the shifter and go into second gear.

  • (COMBATIVE TONE) I don't know what second gear is.

  • Oh God.

  • There we go.

  • Good job.

  • Why is it so loud?

  • Jesus.

  • Step on the gas real hard, one time.

  • There we go.

  • Good job.

  • B.J., is the strap supposed to be so tight on my penis?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [MAKING REVVING NOISES WITH MOUTH]

  • [BJ CHUCKLES]

  • Dude, that's fun.

  • You did great, buddy.

  • You're driving tonight.

  • What do you mean?

  • Well, tonight, during the show, we're

  • going to have you drive at intermission.

  • What do you think?

  • I'm good at this.

  • You did good.

  • I'm not saying you're not, I'm saying I am.

  • What I felt--

  • You're shaking.

  • Like, put your hand out.

  • Oh, well, that's just being Jewish.

  • We're nervous about everything.

  • [HARD ROCK MUSIC]

  • [CHEERING]

  • I got Simpson too.

  • Yeah, we're badass.

  • [ENGINE REVVING]

  • You better not be on this thing when I'm riding.

  • I'm not.

  • Maybe tape it for the lawsuit.

  • Yeah.

  • A 9.316.

  • Your new leader, Grave Digger.

  • Oh, oh.

  • Oh no.

  • Is that a leg?

  • It's gonna be you.

  • No, it's not going to be me.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Monster Jam fans, get your phones out.

  • Because you are going to be scoring this very exciting

  • freestyle coming up.

  • This is such a bad idea.

  • How you feeling?

  • Nervous as hell.

  • I got you.

  • You know that.

  • From the "Ellen DeGeneres Show," it's Average Andy.

  • [CHEERING]

  • Are they booing?

  • All right, Andy, fire her up.

  • [ENGINE TURNS OVER]

  • Anaheim, make some noise.

  • [CHEERING]

  • Take a deep breath, Andy.

  • You got this.

  • I honestly think I'm going to pee.

  • Let's go have some fun.

  • [ROCK MUSIC, ENGINE REVVING]

  • Good job.

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • Oh [BLEEP].

  • Oh, there we go.

  • Nice little slide job.

  • Hit the gas.

  • [INAUDIBLE] the gas.

  • [BLEEP]

  • [ENGINE REVVING]

  • All right, keep going, buddy.

  • Good momentum.

  • Turn it real sharp.

  • [ENGINE REVVING]

  • Why don't you do a big circle right there.

  • Turn the rear gear.

  • Just turn it.

  • OK, stop talking to me, B.J.

  • You're doing good.

  • Come back to the center.

  • You're doing awesome.

  • Got that right.

  • I'm [BLEEP] nailing it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Turn her sharp, turn it sharp, turn it sharp.

  • All right, I'm going rogue.

  • I don't care, I'm going over the hill.

  • Whoa, where you going?

  • Hit the gas.

  • Go, buddy.

  • [ENGINE REVVING]

  • [CHEERING]

  • [BLEEP] yeah.

  • Holy [BLEEP] that's good.

  • There we go.

  • Perfect.

  • Let's hear it one more time for Average Andy.

  • [CHEERING]

  • How do you feel?

  • How are you feeling right now?

  • I'm feeling very apologetic to this crowd.

  • But I want to thank B.J. Johnson for everything he's done.

  • And look for us at a lot of Monster Jams in the future.

  • All right, well your scores are locked in.

  • Let's take a look at the video board.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • A 3.577-- what do you think about that score?

  • Is it out of 4?

  • (SINGING) He's average in every other way.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Thank you, Andy.

  • I love you.

  • We'll be back.

I love sending my executive producer, Andy, to try

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Average Andy Goes to Monster Jam

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/07
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