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  • >> James: NOW WE DO HAVE KIDS AROUND THE SAME AGE, YOU AND I.

  • >> I KNOW.

  • >> James: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS.

  • SOMETIMES FROM TIME TO TIME I WILL STRUGGLE WITH KNOWING WHAT

  • TO DO WITH THE KIDS IN L.A WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO THING FOR THE

  • KIDS.

  • >> YOU KNOW, LAST WEEK BE WE MADE A TERRIBLE DECISION AND

  • WENT TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK.

  • >> James: RIGHT.

  • >> AND WE WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND IT IS MY WORST PLACE

  • AS A PARENT.

  • I MAKE DECISIONS THERE I WOULD NEVER MAKE OUTSIDE THE GATES OF

  • AN AMUSEMENT.

  • >> James: LIKE WHAT.

  • >> I'M BUYING ICE CREAM CONES FOR $40 AND I'M LIKE WHAT A

  • DEAL, LIKE MY MIND, I HAVE HAD TOO MUCH SUGAR, I'M ANGRY, I'M

  • SAD.

  • I AM A TODDLER.

  • >> James: YES.

  • >> SO I FOUND MYSELF IN THE UNIVERSAL GIFT SHOP IN THE

  • MINION SECTION AND TO PREFACE THIS, MY CHILDREN, WE DON'T HAVE

  • ANY TOY GUNS AT HOME, I FELT STRONGLY I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOY

  • GUNS, A BIG THING IN OUR HOUSE.

  • GREAT, WELL, SO MY OLDEST, HOWEVER, IS COMPLETELY BACK

  • FIRED IS OBSESSED WITH GUNS.

  • >> James: RIGHT.

  • >> AND WANTS THEM ALL THE TIME.

  • AND WE WENT INTO THE STORE AND THEY BOTH FOUND TWO FART GUNS

  • THAT MAKE SOME PRETTY HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON ARIOUS FARTS, YOU

  • KNOW, AND I IN A MOMENT OF TOTAL AMUSEMENT PARK DESPAIR PURCHASED

  • NOT ONE BUT TWO FART GUNS.

  • AND THEN I CAME OUT AND MY HUSBAND SAID WE ALREADY HAVE A

  • FART GUN AT HOME.

  • WE'VE JUST TAKEN IT AWAY AS A CONSEQUENCE, LIKE THAT FART GUN

  • IS CON TRA BAND AND NOW YOU HAVE PURCHASED TWO.

  • BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO BUY ONE BECAUSE I COULDN'T HANDLE THE

  • FIGHTING.

  • AND THEN I WAS REBRANDING THEM AS FART HORNS.

  • AND THEN MY SON WHO IS FIVE HAS JUST STARTED TO READ,

  • UNFORTUNATELY.

  • AND SAID NO, THIS IS A GUN.

  • I CAN READ THE PACKAGING.

  • SO ON EVERY LEVEL IT WAS A MASSIVE FAILURE.

  • AND NOW THE FART GUNS WITH ARE US AT ALL TIMES.

  • YOU CANNOT LEAVE HEM WITHOUT A FART GUN.

  • >> James: I TELL YOU, THE GOOD THING, I WILL SAY IN THE FART

  • GUN'S DEFENSE, AND STT ONLY DEFENSE, IF YOUR KIDS ARE

  • CARRYING A FART GUN, IT DOES MEAN THAT YOU CAN FART FREELY

  • WHEREVER YOU ARE.

  • AND YOU BLAME THE GUN.

  • THAT IS, I'M SAYING, THIS IS ME LOOKING AT IT AS A REAL GLASS

  • HALF FULL GUY, BUT THAT IS THE ONLY SOLID BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE

  • WILL YOU STOP, STOP IT, THAT'S T I'M TAKING IT AWAY.

  • >> THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> James: NOW WE DO HAVE KIDS AROUND THE SAME AGE, YOU AND I.

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