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  • EVERYONE HERE HAVE A GOOD DAY?

  • GREAT!

  • LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T, DONALD TRUMP.

  • BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF HIS IMPEACHMENT TRIAL IN THE

  • SENATE.

  • NOW, HANG ON.

  • DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

  • THE REPUBLICANS CONTROL THE SENATE.

  • SO, YOU CAN EXPECT IT TO BE ABOUT AS LEGITIMATE AS A U.S.C.

  • APPLICATION FROM A CELEBRITY'S CHILD.

  • TODAY WAS THE FIRST LONG -- HOW LONG HAS THIS WHOLE THING

  • BEEN GOING ON?

  • IMAGINE IF IT TOOK REGULAR PEOPLE THIS LONG TO GET FIRED

  • FROM THEIR JOBS.

  • LISTEN, MIKE, YOU'RE INEPT AT YOUR JOB.

  • WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO FIRE YOU, BUT IT'S GOING TO TAKE

  • ABOUT TEN MONTHS.

  • NOW, BACK TO WORK."

  • THE SENATE SPENT THE ENTIRE FIRST DAY JUST HASHING OUT

  • THE RULES FOR THE TRIAL.

  • IT'S AN EXCITING DAY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT MY

  • FAVORITE PART OF A BOOK IS?

  • THE TABLE OF CONTENTS."

  • THE DEBATE OVER THE RULES GOT OFF TO A PRETTY BAD START WHEN

  • TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM OPENED WITH "NO TAKE-BACKS, FINDERS KEEPERS,

  • AND THE PRESIDENT IS ADAMANT ABOUT THIS: WHOEVER SMELT IT

  • DEALT IT."

  • IT GOT CONTENTIOUS, BUT THE ONE THING EVERY SINGLE SENATOR COULD

  • AGREE ON: BRAD AND JEN STILL LOOKED GREAT TOGETHER.

  • DIDN'T THEY?

  • (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> Joe: HE'S IN A TUX.

  • SHE'S WEARING A WHITE DRESS, THEY'RE HOLDING

  • HANDS.

  • GUYS, IT'S THE '90s AGAIN AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT!

  • IF ONLY!

  • MEANWHILE, PRESIDENT TRUMP ISN'T EVEN IN THE UNITED STATES.

  • HE LEFT LAST NIGHT FOR THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM IN DAVOS,

  • SWITZERLAND.

  • OR AS THAT'S MORE COMMONLY CALLED, "FLEEING THE COUNTRY."

  • I MEAN, TRUMP SAID IT WAS COMFORTING BEING AROUND SKIERS

  • IN THE SWISS ALPS.

  • MUCH LIKE HIS PRESIDENCY, ALSO GOING DOWNHILL FAST.

  • MOVING ON, HERE'S A CRAZY STORY.

  • ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY CONDUCTED BY RESEARCHERS IN

  • FINLAND, COMPUTERS ARE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOU BY YOUR DANCING.

  • APRENTLY EACH PERSON'S STYLE OF DANCING IS AS UNIQUE AS THEIR

  • FINGERPRINT.

  • THIS WOULD BE A WEIRD WAY TO IDENTIFY PEOPLE IN A POLICE

  • LINE-UP.

  • "NUMBER THREE, STEP FORWARD.

  • NOW TO THE LEFT.

  • NOW STOP.

  • HAMMER TIME."

  • YOUR DANCING STYLE IS AS UNIQUE AS YOUR FINGERPRINT.

  • IF THAT'S TRUE, ELIZABETH WARREN HAS VERY UNIQUE FINGERPRINTS.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Joe: SHALL WE SEE WHO OUR GHES STARS ARE ON THE SHOW

  • TONIGHT?

EVERYONE HERE HAVE A GOOD DAY?

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