Name: taking myself on a date ♡
Uploaded: 2020-03-07T00:07:52.000Z
Duration: 15 min 8 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

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Even though I pride myself on being very like

since I've just spent some good old-fashioned time  with myself.

I realized recently that I have this kind of guilt complex

around actually spending time    doing nice things for myself

I feel like I always have to be working towards something else

whether that is making videos, taking photos,

There has to be some like productivity angle to it

Or I have to be doing it with somebody else.

I've been through my fair share of tinder dates,

and honestly, I think part of the reason I found it so fun

was that it was an excuse for me  to actually relax and treat myself

I'm gonna ,you know, spend 15, 20 bucks on dinner."

"Of course, I'm gonna take the night off "

" Of course, I'm gonna stay up till like 3:00 a.m."

Something I've been thinking about recently is,

I guess, feeling afraid to lose myself in a relationship.

When you spend that much time with somebody,

it can be so easy to slip into a pattern of, you know

It's kind of like reserved for that person

At every concert or movie or new restaurant  that you want to try out

Also feels like it has to be experienced with that person

Of course, those things are great to experience  with somebody else

but sometimes I feel like I've put my life on hold  a little bit too much for a relationship

and I need to feel confident again doing stuff by myself.

Okay. So the first thing I'm gonna do and I'm aware that

this is a little bit offbeat, is going to an open house.

Do I have the intent of actually buying this house?

Do I have the money to afford a real estate  in Los Angeles?

But I have this kind of addiction to Zillow  and every single morning,

I check all of beautiful houses that are available in LA

Honestly, I don't know whether it's rude to show up and not actually intend to buy the place but like,

I just want to see it because it's a really adorable house

I'll finally be able to afford to live there.

After circling outside the house for like 15 minutes trying to work up the nerve to actually go inside

I finally conquered my fear and checked the place out

But the real estate agent was actually really nice

and even showed me what renovations some of the neighbors had done with their similar houses

All of this is probably sounding  like the weirdest  (?) shit

Like, why the hell would you actually spend your Saturday looking at old houses, Ashley?

But like, I don't know, it makes me really happy.

Okay. I just got back from the open house.

cuz I'm just like a nerd for real estate  and I want to learn more about it

But yeah, really not as scary as I thought.

Yes, I have so many fucking plants in my apartment

but going to this plant store is like my happy place

This is what I want my apartment to look like one day,  by the way.

Right now, I am just sitting in a random corner of my favorite plant store.

This is my favorite little plant shop in Hollywood

I stop by here everytime  I go to Home Depot

and also just other times when I'm not going to Home Depot

and I like to indulge my unhealthy obsession  with buying plants

I think living in a city and not being around nature  does end up taking its toll.

All I wanted to do was move to a city to be surrounded by buildings.

I went home and realized how much fucking green  I was surrounded by my entire childhood

There's just forests everywhere where I grew up.

So coming here is kinda like a two-in-one :

It's my retail therapy and  it's also a dose of my little natural, quiet oasis in the city

I've wanted a cactus for my apartment for so long , they're so adorable.

But my apartment has one north-facing window and it doesn't get any direct sunlight.

So I'm afraid my cactus  would shrivel away

Honestly, it's probably for the best anyway,

and prick myself  on my own fucking cactus (relatable)

(not gonna lie this joke cracked me up real hard)

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taking myself on a date ♡

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panic

exaggerate

adorable