Name: a big fat post-grad existential crisis™
Uploaded: 2020-03-07T00:05:03.000Z
Duration: 8 min 6 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Free from classes and studying and shitty dorm food.

worry about paying the bills and  the crushing responsibility

of complete control over your own decisions and happiness

with no deadlines or milestones to look forward to until you get married or have kids

Yeah, it's been two and a half months now since I've graduated.

I know a lot of you guys are graduating soon  or just have

Welcome to the fucking mess that is life after graduation.

I've kind of been going through and on and off

existential crisis ever since I graduated.

I thought today, I would just compile all of those thoughts and, I don't know.

I probably just like need a therapist but

eh, putting your thoughts out to millions of strangers  on the Internet is just as good ...

Okay, number one thing that struck me right after I graduated

keeps me working really hard is that milestone.

Whether it's graduation, whether it's summer break

There's always something to look forward to.

But once we graduate, what the fuck  are the milestones anymore ?

but I honestly think that is why so many people   rush to get married

or have babies, even if it's just because they want another thing to like celebrate

and then they can measure their life  by their baby's milestones.

As you can tell, I would be a very nurturing  and kind mother.

Like, a part of me just wishes that as an adult,

every four years you could have like  another adult graduation

I get a cap and a gown and a dumb  piece of paper that says

you made it four more years in your adult life !!!

I guess the main way that I get joy in my life

is just working myself so hard that  I am proud that I am exhausted and tired

and that's like a big part of my identity

But now that I'm not working towards a particular goal

and just my entire foreseeable future  is me working my ass off

It's kind of ..  it's a little bit harder to stay motivated

The weirdest thing of having graduated is  having to shift your mindset from

Just wait until graduation, wait until this class is over ,

wait until somebody gives me an A or a gold star

and like, being satisfied with yourself and  the things that you do every day

By the way, I'm gonna come off  like incredibly privileged and annoying

I know that having an existential crisis is  a privilege

because I'm not worried about like putting food  on the table

And if I was, then I would not be thinking about the fucking purpose of life

" the wonderful crushing infinite possibility of life"

Do you ever stop and think about the fact that adults are just like bumbling around the world?

Nobody's telling them what to do, where they have to be

what job they have to take, what apartment  they have to live in

romanticizes like, what if I could  just be a 50s housewife?

Nothing would be expected of me,  other than to look pretty

to like to suburbgatory  (? sorry I coudn't hear the word)

And now the pressure is on me  to make the most of my life

That's terrifying but empowering at the same time

Thing number three that  freaks me out about life is dating

and they all have a different number on them

You don't know how high the numbers could go

10 could be the highest number that you ever did

this represents  how many people you're gonna date in your life

Although I think, statistically people have like two or three relationships before they get married

Okay, so you have this deck of cards / guys or gals

So you've no idea what order they're gonna come up in

But before moving on to the rest of the cards

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a big fat post-grad existential crisis™

weird

entire

perceive

privilege