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  • Now, I want to talk about something I don't

  • want you to send me, kids.

  • I don't have any.

  • And from time to time, I like to remind myself

  • why I don't have any kids.

  • It's a segment I call Why I Don't Have Kids.

  • Normally, I show you some pictures.

  • Today, I put together a bunch of evidence--

  • I mean videos.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Today's montage is sponsored by the new FX show Breeders.

  • Please enjoy.

  • What are you doing?

  • No!

  • No!

  • No to you!

  • Ow!

  • Ow!

  • What do you need?

  • I need a [INAUDIBLE]

  • You need a napkin?

  • Yeah.

  • Snow angel.

  • Uh-oh.

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • You made a mess.

  • Is that toothpaste?

  • No, no, no.

  • (SINGING) Happy birthday to you-- huh!

  • I don't have kids!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • All right.

  • You can watch the premiere of Breeders this Monday on FX.

  • And if you miss it, you can stream it the next day on Hulu.

  • And Breeders wants you all to enjoy a night out

  • with this $150 Visa gift card.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • We'll be back.

Now, I want to talk about something I don't

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