Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • OVERLY DRAMATIC MUSIC

  • Marco! RECORD SCRATCH

  • Ciao! MICHAEL LAUGHS

  • Have you heard of Jane Miller...

  • ..from Corby, Northamptonshire?

  • I've never heard of her. OK.

  • Well, I have been in her lovely home, in Corby,

  • and I've raided her freezer without her knowing.

  • She's here holidaying on the cruise

  • and we are going to serve her own food back to her.

  • So, you've turned into a food thief.

  • So, let me show you what I've managed to source.

  • Right. We've got some spicy...

  • She's written on it, "Spicy soup."

  • There you go.

  • Spicy... Spicy with an...

  • With an E.

  • "Spice-EY!"

  • Spice-EY! How would you present a soup, though,

  • in a Michelin-star restaurant? In a bowl. Brilliant.

  • How do you...? Genius! THEY LAUGH

  • OK. Oh.

  • Shepherd's pie,

  • an absolute classic heartland dish.

  • I'll open that up.

  • Edible. Nutritious.

  • Delicious. Brilliant!

  • I think it'll present well.

  • And then finally, dessert.

  • I've managed to whip out of her freezer

  • a lovely bread and butter pudding.

  • So that's going to be a bit of a challenge.

  • But we'll see, ultimately,

  • how she reviews her very own food... Her own food.

  • You deal with the food, I'll sort the room out. Take care.

  • Here we are at the cruise ship

  • fine dining restaurant.

  • Isn't it spectacular?

  • And of course, we've rigged the whole place up with cameras.

  • So, there's a camera up here. Hello!

  • Jane is going to be led to her table.

  • She'll be sitting here with her daughter, Laura,

  • where her own food will be served to her.

  • Plus a few extra surprises.

  • So as the restaurant is filling up with actors posing as diners,

  • it's time for Jane to arrive.

  • Oh, and there, hanging up in the restaurant,

  • is the painting I stole from her bedroom.

  • Hello! Good afternoon.

  • Good afternoon. Welcome to Epicurean.

  • Thank you very much.

  • Let service commence.

  • Jane, you probably remember in your own home,

  • just outside it, is a bush.

  • Well, I took some clippings from that bush

  • and, well, they've made it all the way over here.

  • So this has all been chopped from your bush.

  • So what we're going to do is we've selected the very best ones

  • for you and we're going to pop it either side

  • of your "spice-EY" soup,

  • which is now entitled, "Veloute of spiced autumn vegetables."

  • It's not a soup after all -

  • it's a veloute!

  • What's going on top there? Be careful.

  • A little coconut milk. Coconut milk. I'll allow it.

  • We should just set up a little bit of this,

  • make it look nice. Sprig, sprig. Got to sprig it. Got to sprig it.

  • For the presentation, so it's not a sad little dish. OK.

  • And we put this on to disguise.

  • There we are.

  • Service, my friend.

  • So...

  • ..has been heated up and renamed...

  • ..with a side of bush.

  • Ladies. That's your first course.

  • Veloute of spiced autumn vegetables.

  • Thank you.

  • You got a spice-EY soup there.

  • Enjoy. BOTH: Thank you.

  • INDISTINCT Hm?

  • Oh.

  • Jane has now picked up a cutting of her bush...

  • ..and she's smelled it. It's been there for years. Yeah.

  • It's the smell she wakes up to - on the way to work.

  • She likes it.

  • Little bit. There you go.

  • First bite of soup, she went, "Gorgeous."

  • Right? So she loves her own soup.

  • But then now she's come back with,

  • "Could do with a bit more kick." Bit more spice?

  • Mm!

  • A bit more spic-EY! SPIC-EY!

  • Thank you.

  • I hope you enjoyed the soup.

  • It was gorgeous.

  • Now, I also took from your wardrobe,

  • these absolutely beautiful,

  • fetching blouses.

  • What I'm going to do

  • is ask these two lovely ladies

  • to put on Jane's clothes

  • and we'll see if she notices.

  • You're actually going to sit

  • on the table next to her.

  • OK. There you go.

  • All right. Pop those on over the top.

  • OK, Josh, would you please seat these lovely ladies

  • in Jane's clothes?

  • INAUDIBLE

  • LAUGHTER

  • Well done, Jane.

  • Though I'm not sure she's realised

  • they are her OWN clothes from her wardrobe.

  • Now, this is very much...

  • The ragout de Dexter.

  • Ah, yes, otherwise known as... Shepherd's pie.

  • ..shepherd's pie. Of course it is.

  • Right, I'm going to follow your lead.

  • OK. So a little...

  • Just make little pyramids.

  • So this is all Jane's mash.

  • There we are, my friend.

  • When you put it in the oven, it starts to relax.

  • Service!

  • ..is now...

  • You did, Jane! She did! You did!

  • CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

  • We're now going to attempt something...

  • ..I'm going to say very risky.

  • When I went round to Jane's house,

  • I saw an ornament

  • of her pride and joy.

  • Oh. He's very cute, isn't he?

  • So what we're going to do

  • is we're going to pop this ornament,

  • that I found in your conservatory in Corby...

  • What do you think, Marco? I think he should go there. Yeah.

  • So Milo sits on a cake for a fake birthday on the table next to Jane.

  • ALL: # Happy birthday to you

  • # Happy birthday, dear Susan

  • # Happy birthday to you! #

  • DINERS APPLAUD

  • I have!

  • No way! Yeah.

  • Milo?

  • So we're reshaping the bread and butter pudding.

  • Looks better already, doesn't it?

  • It's amazing what a cutter does.

  • That is amazing.

  • ..is now....

  • Served to her by the restaurant's brand-new waiter!

  • Marco, I'm-I'm heading out!

  • I can't laugh because this moustache is only just glued on.

  • This is the most nervous I've been for a while.

  • Je m'appelle Jane...

  • Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

  • LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

  • Now it's the end of the meal,

  • here comes Marco to see what Jane thought of her own food.

  • Enjoy your lunch, ladies.

  • Hello! Hi. How are you?

  • How are you?

  • Lovely menu. You're looking very elegant.

  • And tell me, how was lunch?

  • It was just great.

  • The ragout of Dexter, what did you think?

  • Midweek?

  • Midweek supper?

  • Really?

  • Yeah, it's his.

  • I've been sweating my fingers to the bone for you.

  • LAUGHTER

  • Safe travels on Monday.

  • Thank you very much. Lovely to meet you. Take care. Thank you.

  • Hello there.

  • So, Jane, I don't think, for a moment,

  • you had any idea what was happening to you.

  • I literally need to get off this ship.