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  • - So there's been a lot of talk about this travel ban.

  • Judge overturned it, said it was unconstitutional.

  • I think we're not banning enough.

  • Since I got everybody's attention,

  • here's some more countries I think we should ban.

  • First up Canada, your leader's too sexy.

  • No leader should be that sexy.

  • Scotland, bunch of men running around in skirts

  • sucking on a bag full of pipes.

  • Italy, spaghetti people.

  • Next.

  • Norway, I can't let you all in,

  • you spell four with a J.

  • It's not fa-jor-tuf.

  • China, any country that thinks a cookie

  • could tell the future has no future in my country.

  • You people are banned.

  • Japan, now I know that not all Japanese people are robots

  • but all the robots are Japanese people.

  • Turkey, that's a food.

  • An animal at best.

  • That's animal cruelty if you got that many people

  • standing on one turkey.

  • France, you and your flat pancake

  • could stay the heck out of my country.

  • You call 'em craps.

  • Australia, I can't support a society

  • that supports animals with pockets.

  • London, people don't know the difference between

  • a cookie and a biscuit.

  • If you can't tell the difference between

  • a cookie and a biscuit,

  • you got no business coming to my country!

  • We beat ya once, we'll beat ya again!

  • Transylvania, uh no thank you,

  • that's where the mummies are from!

  • I don't need any mummies coming here and stealing my life.

  • Greece,

  • that's just an unattractive name for a place.

  • Ban!

  • Hawaii, first state to turnover the travel ban.

  • Guess what, maybe you shouldn't come here either.

  • Uh yeah, maybe we'll go down to a sleek 49.

  • Finland, oh the birth place of Santa.

  • Not a chance!

  • You come in here trying to distract from Christmas again!

  • You think it's a coincidence their capitol is Helsinki?

  • Helsinki!

  • Hell no!

  • Russia, I'm sorry they got all these tiny women

  • and little bit bigger women, and little bit bigger women.

  • How many women you have inside of your women Russia?

  • Ban.

  • Atlantis, people say it ain't real

  • but I still don't want no half-man half-fish

  • looking feller swimmin' up on my shore asking for money.

  • Iceland, I've seen Game of Thrones,

  • those ice walkers are creepy.

  • In fact, they had the right idea, they built a wall.

  • South Korea, you and your sexy K-pop groups.

  • You got all these Asian Justin Timberlakes

  • dancing around trying to confuse me.

  • I know who I am and I don't like it!

  • I mean I don't like, no I mean I don't like you!

  • You cannot come in South Korea!

  • Uh Poland, now I like their sausages but again

  • no not like that, not like that, no!

  • Also, one more thing about Canada,

  • your socialist healthcare we don't need that.

  • Healthy people paying for sick people, that's crazy.

  • Look, I'll pray for ya,

  • I won't pay for ya.

  • Thank ya very much!

- So there's been a lot of talk about this travel ban.

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