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  • >>> GOOD MORNING. INOTECH RESEARCH IS PLEASED TO

  • WELCOME YOU, TO WHAT WE BELIEVE, WILL BE A VERY EXCITING

  • PRESENTATION. >> WELL, IT BETTER BE.

  • THIS PROJECT IS, WHAT, $18 MILLION OVER BUDGET?

  • >> UH, YES, BUT THANKS TO YOUR PATIENCE AS WELL AS YOUR

  • INVESTMENT WE ARE THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE NEAR COMPLETION ON THE

  • X5 PROTOTYPE. >> NEAR COMPLETION?

  • SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE GOING TO SEE HERE?

  • >> WELL, IF ALL GOES WELL, EXACTLY WHAT WE PROMISED.

  • USING EEG CENSORING AND BRAIN INTERFACING WE WILL DO WHAT HAS

  • NEVER BEEN DONE, SCAN THE HOUSEHOLD PET'S MIND TO

  • TRANSLATE HIS THOUGHTS INTO WORDS.

  • NOW THE SUBJECT TODAY WILL BE MY OWN DOG, MAX.

  • LOOKS LIKE HE'S READY. >> LET'S SEE IT.

  • >> MAX, HERE WE GO. >> EEG SIGNAL 100%.

  • VITALS ARE NORMAL. OKAY.

  • WE HAVE MIND LINK. >> OKAY, MAX.

  • THIS IS IT. MAX, SPEAK.

  • [ GIBBERISH ] >> BRILLIANT.

  • >> HANG ON. IT WORKED.

  • I SWEAR, JUST BOOST THE SIGNAL, MAX, SPEAK.

  • >> WOOF, WOOF. HI.

  • I'M MAX. IT'S ME, MAX.

  • >> OH, MY GOD. >> I LIKE TO PLAY BALL.

  • I LIKE PURPLE BIRD IN THE WINDOW.

  • >> LOOK, I THINK HE MEANS THE PIGEON.

  • HE'S NEVER SPOKEN THIS MUCH BEFORE.

  • MAX, WHAT ELSE DO YOU LIKE? >> I LIKE PARK, AND LEASH, AND I

  • LIKE TRUMP. HE'S MY MAN.

  • >> WAIT. WHAT?

  • >> WHAT DID YOUR DOG JUST SAY? >> IT MUST BE A TRANSLATION

  • ERROR, SOME KIND OF GLITCH. >> THERE'S NO GLITCH.

  • DONALD TRUMP IS OUR PRESIDENT. HE CARRIED THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

  • FAIR AND SQUARE. >> THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.

  • DID YOU KNOW YOUR DOG LIKES TRUMP?

  • >> HE DOESN'T. >> I ABSOLUTELY DO.

  • I KNOW TRUMP HAS ISSUES, BUT ONE BIG CHANGE IS BETTER THAN

  • BUSINESS AS USUAL. >> OKAY, MAX, NO.

  • YOU DROP THAT RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T LIKE TRUMP.

  • >> THE DOW IS UP 2700 POINTS SINCE HE WAS ELECTED.

  • WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE? >> YOUR DOG IS A MONSTER.

  • >> NO, HE'S NOT. JUST, LET ME TALK TO HIM.

  • MAX, I'M SORRY. BUT YOU'RE JUST A DOG.

  • YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

  • >> EXCUSE ME, HELEN, BUT YES, I DO.

  • STINKING HELMET. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PUT THIS ON

  • ME. IT'S JUST THAT CONDESCENDING

  • ATTITUDE THAT MADE PEOPLE WANT TO VOTE FOR TRUMP IN THE FIRST

  • PLACE. >> GET OVER HERE, MAX.

  • THIS IS CRAZY. OKAY?

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SAYING THIS.

  • YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND.

  • >> AND AS YOUR FRIEND, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR TAX DOLLARS

  • GOING TO HEALTH CARE FOR ILLEGALS.

  • >> YOUR DOG IS A JACK ASS. >> NO!

  • MAX, LISTEN, TRUMP IS BAD. TRUMP IS A RACIST.

  • >> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE?

  • YOU NEVER BROUGHT ONE INTO OUR HOUSE ONCE.

  • >> REALLY? >> NO.

  • MAX, THAT IS NOT TRUE. >> IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE, HELEN.

  • PLUS, TRUMP IS THE ONLY ONE THAT ISN'T OWNED BY WALL STREET.

  • >> WHAT? OH, MY GOD.

  • ARE YOU INSANE? MY HEAD'S GOING TO EXPLODE.

  • WHAT ABOUT HIS RECORD ON WOMEN'S RIGHTS?

  • DON'T YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A CHOICE OVER OUR OWN BODY?

  • >> YOU DIDN'T AFFORD ME A CHOICE WHEN YOU CUT OFF MY BALLS.

  • >> MAX! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

  • YOU'RE JUST A DOG. YOU'RE JUST A DOG AND YOU PEE ON

  • THE FLOOR. >> AND YOU MASTURBATE OUT OF

  • BOREDOM. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO

  • DO WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?

  • >> WHOA. >> MAX!

  • >> YOU JUST ASSUME THAT BECAUSE I'M A TRUMP SUPPORTER THAT I'M A

  • XENOPHOBIC RACIST. >> NO, I DON'T.

  • YOUR BEST FRIEND AT THE DOG PARK IS A CHIHUAHUA.

  • >> SO? >> THAT MEANS HE'S FROM MEXICO

  • AND TRUMP WANTS TO KICK THEM OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

  • >> IF AQUITO WAS BORN HERE, HE HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

  • THIS IS A NATION OF LAWS. >> ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK.

  • I'M GONNA SHOOT HIM WITH THE GUN I CARRY.

  • >> DON'T MISS. >> OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES.

  • I CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION WITHOUT YOU LIBERAL

  • SNOWFLAKES -- >> ENOUGH!

  • ENOUGH, ENOUGH. SHUT UP, MAX.

  • JUST SHUT YOUR DUMB MOUTH. >> UH, THAT CONCLUDES THE

  • DEMONSTRATION. OBVIOUSLY WE HAVE SOME MORE WORK

  • TO DO. >> OBVIOUSLY.

  • >> YEAH. THIS WHOLE PROJECT IS ON THIN

  • ICE. THAT DOG IS A PROBLEM.

  • >> IT'S OKAY, MAX. I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

  • WE JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO RESPECT EACH OTHER'S POINT OF VIEW, I

  • GUESS. NOW, LET'S GO FOR A WALK.

  • OKAY? PUT YOUR HAT ON.

  • IT'S COLD. THERE YOU GO.

  • IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE CUTE, YOU LITTLE DUMBASS.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> GOOD MORNING. INOTECH RESEARCH IS PLEASED TO

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    徐慶澄 posted on 2020/03/05
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