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  • How do you feel about your attraction to one another?

  • Beyond the physical, is there something beneath that that's

  • a little more substantive?

  • I think it's definitely growing,

  • but I can't say it's at this substantial, you know,

  • level quite yet.

  • We've moved past a little initial honeymoon phase--

  • Mhm.

  • DEREK: --and I feel like we're kind of a little

  • stagnant with moving forward and making more progress,

  • because I felt like we made as much progress

  • as we could without real feelings behind things.

  • CALVIN ROBERSON: Do you feel like you're roommates?

  • A little bit.

  • I know you do.

  • Oh yeah.

  • I know he feels like we're roommates.

  • Why do you say that?

  • He has said the word "roommate."

  • And I'm like, no, I'm not your roommate.

  • I'm your wife.

  • A little bit like, oh no?

  • Yeah.

  • It just feels very surface level right now.

  • For me, I realized that the main thing that's missing here

  • is time.

  • Like, I want this to work out.

  • I want to do everything I can to see what happens here,

  • but I don't think I could actually maybe, you know,

  • feel love for at least six months to a year.

  • Hearing that hurt, like, when he told me that.

  • If it gets to a point where nothing is progressing,

  • then I'm not going to want to move forward.

  • DEREK: Well, I can't say I'm in love,

  • but I definitely want to develop these feelings.

  • I hope I do, but only time will tell.

  • The fact is that often we feel as though love is sort

  • of like this feeling, this thing that we fall into, you know,

  • and we'll know when it's there.

  • We'll know when it happens.

  • But you actually have control over whether or not this thing

  • actually happens in your life.

  • I vehemently reject the idea that people fall in love.

  • I don't believe it.

  • I believe people grow in love.

  • You have to nurture it. You have to water it.

  • You have to do all those things that

  • are necessary to make it grow.

  • That means you have control over it.

  • For me, like, I mean, I have been.

  • I've been in love, and I would do,

  • like, anything for that person, like to be with that person.

  • I was so drawn to them, like, in every way possible.

  • There was somebody that I was, like, dating casually.

  • I actually mentioned it to you--

  • Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • KATIE: --at our workshop.

  • And you asked me, if you were to go through with this,

  • would you have any problem shutting that door?

  • And I said no, but things kind of, like, progressed,

  • and he told me that he loves me.

  • And that made it harder for me to, like, make that decision.

  • Apparently her ex still has an influence,

  • even though it was supposed to be, you know, done with.

  • And hearing that is really frustrating.

  • If that person came back into your life now, then what?

  • Would that be a problem?

  • It's hard to say.

  • Are you still attracted to that person?

  • Yeah.

  • Have you emotionally cut ties?

  • Mhm.

  • DEREK: Have you?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, It's hard, and it's something--

  • it's like it's a conscious decision

  • that I have to make every day.

  • CALVIN ROBERSON: So then you have not.

  • Katie, what's going on?

  • It's just hard to keep talking about it.

  • Like, it hurt when that happened.

  • It hurt being told, like, by somebody that I had been

  • waiting for, you know, months and months

  • to feel what I felt to tell me, like, they did feel that.

  • And even though I'm glad I made the decision

  • to not be with him, because I don't want to be with somebody

  • who's going to do that to me.

  • But at the same time, like, yeah, it still hurts.

  • It was like I didn't really have a whole lot of time

  • to, like, process the healing, so I still kind of am.

  • CALVIN ROBERSON: Do you feel that your healing

  • or your processing is hindering you from developing

  • a deeper emotion?

  • Um, yeah.

  • CALVIN ROBERSON: Mhm.

  • That's concerning that there are still

  • lingering feelings because I'm going into this

  • as kind of like a blank slate.

  • I mean, I don't think I should be feeling like I have

  • a competitor in a marriage.

  • I don't think that's healthy for any marriage,

  • and you shouldn't.

  • I'm still going to do everything I can to make this work,

  • but, like, this is a concern.

  • How do you feel about this conversation?

  • Tell me honestly.

  • Hearing all this stuff makes me

  • feel like I'm now in a competition with someone else.

How do you feel about your attraction to one another?

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"Yeah, It Still Hurts" Katie Is Hung Up on Her Ex | Married at First Sight (Season 10) | Lifetime

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/03
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