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  • For two hundred and fifty performances of "Inside the actors studio," I have interviewed

  • so many great celebrities. I think it's time now and the demand is great for me to interview me.

  • Cockamamie. Cockamamie is actually a corruption of the word decalamania, which has to do with

  • a craze, a frenzy to stick things on walls and posters and T-shits.

  • And I like cockamamie because it sounds really filthy. Ha ha hahahhahaha

  • Dumb*ss. It does a disservice to the word "dumb" and an even bigger disservice to the

  • word "ass." Therefore I say, down with dumb*ass, up with dipsh*t.

  • And the answer is a bottle of 1922 Lafit Rothshield, grown on the north side of the vineyard, during

  • a terrible rainy year and kept in Napoleon's casket, wrapped in a precious oriental rug.

  • You can find a bottle of that, I'm yours, and if you can't, two buck chuck is not that

  • bad. It has lovely body and for two bucks you can get really sh*tfaced.

  • Any republican congressman naked in a sits bath, I find that a ghastly prospect. When

  • Michelle Bachman was there, there was a possiblity of some nudity worth examining, but now, spare me please!

  • The ancient, honorable, and evocative, pllllll. It's often called a raspberry, or a Bronx

  • cheer, but I prefer to call it the sound of a healthy fart.

  • The sound of those recorded messages that go "if you want to reach uncle Frederick press

  • nine, if you would like to have your leg shaved press seven, if you want to haven an assignation

  • with a hairy goat in the yard press pound.

  • If you don't give a sh*t, just press operator and a living person will tell you to go stick

  • it up your *ss

  • I am reminded of the winning poem in the Hustler magazine poetry contest. It was so filthy

  • that for it to be repeated on television the person giving the poem had to substitute a

  • musical note instead of giving the word.

  • So the winning poem in the hustler poetry contest went "buh duh duh duh duh dum, buh

  • duh duh duh duh duh..

  • ..f*ck.

  • Delightful!

  • Viking. I would like to have set sail in a long ship, I would liked to have used a broad

  • axe to split a skull, and I would particularly have enjoyed a hat with horns.

  • Waiter at Denny's restaurant. I don't know how many times I've heard some old woman say

  • to her husband, "Did we get the flounder, Harvey or was it that crappy hamburger again?"

  • I can't tolerate that, and I won't and fortunately I don't need to.

  • Hi Dad, could I borrow the car? hahahhhaha

  • And he would say "It's yours sonny boy. It's yours."

  • Let me end with the great Italian thespian, Luigi Apondonzo Vinny Gugots, who always said,

  • "...(speaking Italian).." Which translated means..

  • "Thank you and don't break my balls!" Arrivederci!

For two hundred and fifty performances of "Inside the actors studio," I have interviewed

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B2 poem dumb lipton press filthy italian

James Lipton interviews James Lipton

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/03
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