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  • -You're hosting "Saturday Night Live" for the third time.

  • -Yes! [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Yeah.

  • -We love -- We love when you host.

  • -Thank you. -But I remember when you were

  • there, when you were working on "Saturday Night Live."

  • -Oh, yeah, yeah.

  • I remember, as a writer, you in my office.

  • I remember you were host,

  • and I had this little office that my first day I moved into,

  • and it said "Andrew Steele" on it,

  • who had been a writer at "Saturday Night Live."

  • -You had Steele's office. -I had Steele's office.

  • -Oh, my gosh.

  • -I don't know how to describe him.

  • Uh, he once lived in a truck. Is that right?

  • -Yeah, there's so many rumors about him, about Andrew Steele,

  • and he's such a mysterious figure.

  • -I mean, but he was, like, a gainfully employed head writer

  • of "Saturday Night Live," but, also, they were like,

  • "Oh, that guy lived in a truck. That's your office now."

  • -He is the -- one of the funniest people

  • I think I've ever met in my lifetime.

  • -I cleaned out the desk the first day.

  • They go, "Put your stuff in there." I open it up.

  • It was all power tools.

  • I mean, it was all, like, very industrial,

  • like, heavy power tools with a lot of, like,

  • black rubber cord, and, I mean, like every drawer.

  • And I kept -- It was my first day.

  • And I was terrified. I was terrified.

  • And I kept taking power tools

  • and dumping them into the waste basket.

  • And then Miss Retta, you know, the wonderful woman from maintenance,

  • She'd come by, and she kept emptying it into her thing

  • and then looking at me, and I was like, "I don't know."

  • And she'd come back, there'd be another three drills in there,

  • and I'd be like, "I don't..."

  • -"I'm not the weirdo. He was the weirdo."

  • -He lived in a truck, yeah. -He was so funny.

  • Horatio and I -- Horatio Sanz and I

  • had an office across the hallway,

  • and so he would always do bits with us all the time.

  • Like, he was so nice and so funny.

  • Like, at one point -- Do you know the wind-up dog story?

  • -The wind-up dog story? What's the wind-up dog story?

  • -We were sitting there trying to think of an idea,

  • and I never came up -- I'm trying to type something.

  • And I hear, like, this -- [ Crunching ]

  • And I go -- I look behind me, and there's a wind-up dog,

  • a toy dog, like, walking in my office.

  • So, I pick it up -- So, I pick up the dog,

  • and there's a note on the dog that says, "Help me. Andrew."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • So I go into his office, and he's laying on the desk,

  • and he has his phone on his head.

  • That's it. He was just like that.

  • And he goes, "Can you get this phone off my head?"

  • Like...

  • -That dude's just good at life. -Yeah.

  • -You know, and he had everyone's phone number written on --

  • This was 2008, by the way.

  • This wasn't like a long, long time ago.

  • -Yeah. This was like -- -He had everyone's phone number

  • written on the wall in pencil like a prisoner.

  • It'd be like -- "Tim Meadows. 212..."

  • -That's the greatest. -Yeah.

  • -Oh, you know what? I was just thinking about you

  • because you came up in the news recently

  • by Mayor Pete Buttigieg. -Oh. That. Yeah.

  • -Let me show you this clip really quick.

  • -Who would play you in a biopic?

  • -I'm hoping for John Mulaney.

  • -Oh, okay. I can see that.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -I was like, "Yo!" -I mean...

  • -Would you? -I'm hoping for it.

  • Like, I've been offered two movies,

  • and I am in both of them, and...

  • I'm hoping for. Yeah, I think you got him.

  • Uh, no, I was excited. That was really cool, you know?

  • I'm from the Midwest, and he's the mayor of South Bend.

  • You know? -Yeah. Of course.

  • -I guess, yeah. I guess. Yeah.

  • Uh, but I think I tweeted that, and then people were very mad.

  • They said -- Other Democrats. And I'm, like, a Democrat.

  • I'm fun and I'm nice and stuff.

  • And -- [ Laughter ]

  • But they were like, "How dare you!

  • No! Bad Democrat! Bad Democrat!"

  • And I was like, "What happened? What happened?"

  • And they said, "He's not good enough as a Democrat."

  • I said, "Okay. All right. Okay."

  • But I guess he's a -- -You're not supporting him.

  • You're just gonna play him in a movie.

  • -And also he's an openly gay veteran of the military,

  • so it's a real good idea to turn down him violently,

  • other Democrats.

  • Stupid idiots.

  • [ Laughter ] -Aggressive, right there.

  • -No, it's just like, "Eh."

  • People are like, "No! No! Well, who do you like --

  • Biden or Buttigieg?!"

  • I'm like, "Your tone is crazy."

  • Look, I'm gonna vote for whoever it is.

  • I'm just gonna vote "D" and walk out of there.

  • Even if it's Garfield,

  • I will write down "Democrat" and walk out of there.

-You're hosting "Saturday Night Live" for the third time.

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