Let's get started!

[Philosophy] Half of the time is spent listening to the same person arguing with the lecturer.

[Marketing] We learn how to create imaginary problems to convenient solutions.

[Accounting] I don't like spreadsheets, but I like money.

[Medicine] In nine short years, I might be doing the job I actually want.

[Computer science] My time is occupied with helping friends with basic computer issues, before unsuccessfully influencing them that Linux is the superior operating system.

[Psychology] I now understand why I'm attracted to my boyfriend.

[Management] Welcome to a course that teaches common sense made more complicated with longer words.

[Criminology] I'll either find a job at the end of my degree, or I'll be the most highly trained criminal known to man.

[Law] I justify my six-figure salary by comprehending the English language slightly better than everyone else.

[Nursing] I do twice the work and get half the pay of a doctor because I understand 10 percent less.

[Marine biology] I expected to swim with dolphins, but I'm now managing a fish farm.

[Marxism] I'll complain about being broke forever without actually trying to change it.

[Mechanical engineering] I tried doing electrical engineering, but it was too hard.

[Electrical engineering] I'm only studying this to become Iron Man.

[Innovation and enterprise] I'll never get a job, but at least I know how to make my own.

[Commerce] This was my third choice behind law and medicine that my Asian parents would accept.

[Veterinary science] I love animals.

I can't wait to put them down all day.

[History] I've referenced the entire internet in the last four days.

[Economics] I now know how to fix all the world's problems, but no one likes what I have to say.

[Tourism] In only three years, I'll be able to get a minimum-wage job in a Western European country.

[Journalism] I now be the most qualified person to cry at my computer for hours on end.

[Geology] I'm very boring at parties.

[Medical science] I couldn't get into medicine.

[Health science] I couldn't get into medicine, but at least everyone in my classes is attractive.

[Zoology] In this profession, human beings are the hardest animal to deal with.

[Archaeology] The highlight of my career will be finding a 700-year-old male.

[IT] I'm now able to Google problems better than anyone else.

[Dentistry] My friends refuse to call me a doctor.

[Japanese studies] Everyone here is either Japanese or owns an extensive katana collection.

[Any arts degree] I'm never getting a job.