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  • Welcome to 30 university degrees described in one sentence.

  • Let's get started!

  • [Philosophy] Half of the time is spent listening to the same person arguing with the lecturer.

  • [Marketing] We learn how to create imaginary problems to convenient solutions.

  • [Accounting] I don't like spreadsheets, but I like money.

  • [Medicine] In nine short years, I might be doing the job I actually want.

  • [Computer science] My time is occupied with helping friends with basic computer issues, before unsuccessfully influencing them that Linux is the superior operating system.

  • [Psychology] I now understand why I'm attracted to my boyfriend.

  • [Management] Welcome to a course that teaches common sense made more complicated with longer words.

  • [Criminology] I'll either find a job at the end of my degree, or I'll be the most highly trained criminal known to man.

  • [Law] I justify my six-figure salary by comprehending the English language slightly better than everyone else.

  • [Nursing] I do twice the work and get half the pay of a doctor because I understand 10 percent less.

  • [Marine biology] I expected to swim with dolphins, but I'm now managing a fish farm.

  • [Marxism] I'll complain about being broke forever without actually trying to change it.

  • [Mechanical engineering] I tried doing electrical engineering, but it was too hard.

  • [Electrical engineering] I'm only studying this to become Iron Man.

  • [Innovation and enterprise] I'll never get a job, but at least I know how to make my own.

  • [Commerce] This was my third choice behind law and medicine that my Asian parents would accept.

  • [Veterinary science] I love animals.

  • I can't wait to put them down all day.

  • [History] I've referenced the entire internet in the last four days.

  • [Economics] I now know how to fix all the world's problems, but no one likes what I have to say.

  • [Tourism] In only three years, I'll be able to get a minimum-wage job in a Western European country.

  • [Journalism] I now be the most qualified person to cry at my computer for hours on end.

  • [Geology] I'm very boring at parties.

  • [Medical science] I couldn't get into medicine.

  • [Health science] I couldn't get into medicine, but at least everyone in my classes is attractive.

  • [Zoology] In this profession, human beings are the hardest animal to deal with.

  • [Archaeology] The highlight of my career will be finding a 700-year-old male.

  • [IT] I'm now able to Google problems better than anyone else.

  • [Dentistry] My friends refuse to call me a doctor.

  • [Japanese studies] Everyone here is either Japanese or owns an extensive katana collection.

  • [Any arts degree] I'm never getting a job.

Welcome to 30 university degrees described in one sentence.

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