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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,570 Happy new year.

  • It is 2020.

  • Can you believe that?

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:00:09,878 --> 00:00:11,670 You're the best audience I've had all year.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:00:17,172 --> 00:00:19,380 I had to think about it, but when I thought about it,

  • you are.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • We actually are--

  • I'll let you in on a little secret at home.

  • We're taping this show before New Year's, but it's airing

  • after New Year's.

  • So we'll talk about the Golden Globes, which was so fun.

  • That was yesterday, but today is this day.

  • So we'll talk about the Golden Globes tomorrow.

  • And what a night it was.

  • But it hasn't happened yet, but it

  • will have happened by the time we tape tomorrow's show.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Is everyone confused?

  • Yes!

  • That's my job.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • A lot of people make resolutions for the new year.

  • How many of you already made the resolutions for the new year?

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • Most of you.

  • It's hard to keep the resolutions,

  • but luckily, one of my New Year's resolutions

  • is to help you keep your resolutions.

  • So I am going to randomly call names that I was curious

  • about to talk to.

  • Zeel.

  • Who is Zeel?

  • And come on down here.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:13,548 --> 00:01:14,048 Hi!

  • Hi.

  • Hello, Zeel.

  • Hello, Ellen.

  • How are you?

  • I'm well.

  • How are You?

  • You want to hold the microphone?

  • Yes.

  • OK, wonderful.

  • What is your New Year's resolution, Zeel?

  • I want to be able to run half a marathon by the end of 2020.

  • Oh, well that's a good goal.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • And do you run now?

  • I do.

  • OK.

  • But rarely.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • OK.

  • How long have you been running rarely?

  • Twice a week.

  • For how long now?

  • For about a year.

  • A year?

  • Yeah.

  • Twice a week.

  • And what's the furthest you've gone?

  • 3 miles.

  • OK.

  • So over the course of a year, you

  • haven't built up a little more than three miles?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's the furthest I've gone.

  • OK, so the goal is a half marathon.

  • And when is that happening?

  • By May 2020, hopefully.

  • OK.

  • If not, I'll try again by December.

  • No, no.

  • You have to stick to something or else

  • you're going to keep pushing it off.

  • You're right.

  • No, you have to-- is there a half marathon happening in May?

  • Yes.

  • OK, well then that's your goal, right?

  • You're right.

  • You don't want to push it off.

  • You can go, "Oh, I can do it another year.

  • The whole point is to build yourself up."

  • Yeah.

  • Do you ever run on a treadmill?

  • Or what do you do?

  • Treadmill.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • OK, good.

  • All right.

  • Well, I don't think you're going to make.

  • It I feel like--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I don't feel the enthusiasm.

  • I know that you want to, but I want to--

  • you want to do it, right?

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • All right, well I'm going to give you

  • some clothes that we sell here in The Ellen Shop and online--

  • Ellen Fitwear, and it'll inspire you.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • OK?

  • Thank you.

  • And some stuff.

  • And we're just-- whatever size that is, it's yours.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Give me my mic back.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I thought you were offering it to me.

  • No, you can't have this.

  • This will not help you at all.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • All right.

  • And you can lunge back to your seat now.

  • I'll try.

  • All right?

  • Oh!

  • Give me my mic back.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Thank you.

  • Lunge.

  • You have to lunge back.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:16,840 Nicole Reiley.

  • Where is Nicole Reiley?

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:25,294 --> 00:03:25,877 Hello, Nicole.

  • Hi, Ellen.

  • How are you?

  • I'm great.

  • How are you?

  • Stand as far away from me as possible.

  • I know, I'm sorry.

  • Can I give you a hug?

  • Yeah, you can hug me.

  • Yes.

  • Hi.

  • Oh, my gosh.

  • OK.

  • Hi, Nicole.

  • Hi.

  • OK.

  • What is your-- come here!

  • I think I'm too close to you.

  • No, see that-- no.

  • This would be too close.

  • OK.

  • That would be--

  • I don't mind.

  • This isn't.

  • OK, where do you live?

  • What do you do?

  • I live in Laguna Niguel, California,

  • and work for a housing relocation company.

  • OK.

  • And what is your resolution?

  • My New Year's resolution is just to read more in my free time.

  • Oh, good.

  • Because you don't read right now?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • No, not really.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • No reading whatsoever.

  • You want to read a book?

  • Or what do you want to read?

  • I want to actually complete a novel.

  • One novel?

  • What's the last thing you read?

  • I can't even tell you.

  • Something early years of college.

  • OK.

  • I don't know.

  • Yeah.

  • Green Eggs and Ham, maybe?

  • Green Eggs and Ham, yes.

  • All right.

  • So you want to read a novel?

  • Yes.

  • Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I've seen the movies.

  • Yeah.

  • See, again, you wait and you just see the movies,

  • but you didn't read the book?

  • No.

  • Andy Zenor?

  • All right.

  • Thank you.

  • Here.

  • Oh.

  • Read that.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • Just this part?

  • Yeah, that goes too.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • "Before I know it, he's got both of my hands

  • in his vise-like grip above my head,

  • and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips.

  • His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up

  • and his lips are on mine.

  • My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his

  • in a slow, erotic dance."

  • Yeah.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • Isn't that fun?

  • It's great.

  • Yeah.

  • See?

  • I think that makes all of us want to read more.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's great.

  • Well, I've written some books.

  • I'm going to give you my book.

  • So you can start with mine, and then--

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • Take my microphone.

  • Thank you.

  • All right, Nicole.

  • Thank you so much.

  • All right.

  • 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:25,705 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:05:29,243 --> 00:05:30,659 Put that back in my dressing room.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Where is Destiny?

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:41,117 Hi, Destiny.

  • Can I give you a hug?

  • Yes.

  • Hi, Destiny.

  • How are you?

  • I'm good.

  • How are you?

  • Good.

  • Do you feel like it was your destiny to be here with me?

  • Yeah, I do.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Oh, boy.

  • I get it a lot.

  • All right.

  • I get it a lot.

  • I know you do.

  • That's why I did it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • All right.

  • And what is your resolution?

  • To spend less money at Target for my husband's sake.

  • Oh.

  • It's not even for me.

  • No, you're doing it for his sake.

  • I am.

  • He thinks you spend too much money.

  • Yeah.

  • OK, it's really rude.

  • How often do you go to Target?

  • Like four or five times a week.

  • It's a lot.

  • I know.

  • Yeah.

  • I know.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • What do--

  • I forget things each time, and then I

  • accumulate more every time I go.

  • I doubt that.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What are you buying there?

  • What do you go and buy?

  • Clothes.

  • You forget that you bought clothes.

  • Shoes, diapers.

  • Well, diapers are important, right?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • But clothes, that's something that you can probably stop--

  • Food.

  • Food, milk.

  • Yeah, food, milk.

  • Yeah, OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • All right.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • You're just all of a sudden thinking of things to tell me.

  • Food and milk.

  • Yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I've got one milk.

  • I buy milk.

  • All right.

  • So you want to stop spending less money,

  • stop going to Target.

  • But I can't help you with that.

  • You're going to have to do that on your own.

  • But I can help you stop spending your own money.

  • So I'll give you a Target gift card.

  • Thank you!

  • So it feels less--

  • Thank you.

  • I'm enabling you.

  • Thank you.

  • Well, even better.

  • All right.

  • Thank you so much, Destiny.

  • All right.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:17,659 And Hannah Johnson, come down and talk to me.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:23,984 Hello, Hannah.

  • How are you?

  • Good.

  • How are you?

  • Good.

  • Good to see you.

  • You too.

  • It's been a long time.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Where do you live?

  • What you do?

  • I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan, and I'm a nurse.

  • Oh, a nurse.

  • Wonderful.

  • Thank you for what you do.

  • Thank you.

  • All right.

  • What is your resolution?

  • To not get pregnant for the third year in a row.

  • OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • So you've been trying for three years not to get pregnant.

  • Yeah, we've failed the last two, so I

  • feel like 2020 is our year.

  • Wait, wait.

  • Do you not have children?

  • Or do you have children?

  • I do have children.

  • Oh, you do.

  • This is number two.

  • But I'm sorry--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • The resolution is to not get pregnant--

  • Right.

  • Next year?

  • Right.

  • OK, because this is number two.

  • Every year you've had a baby.

  • A baby.

  • I see.

  • I thought that you haven't had a baby,

  • and you want to continue not having a baby.

  • Nope, we have two.

  • We have failed.

  • Yeah.

  • Well, this will be three?

  • Two.

  • Two.

  • This will be two.

  • All right.

  • When are you due?

  • February 29.

  • OK.

  • Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?

  • No, we're not finding out.

  • OK.

  • What's the other one?

  • A girl-- baby girl Charlotte.

  • OK, this is a boy.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm psychic like that.

  • I'm telling you.

  • What names do you have picked out?

  • We don't.

  • We haven't picked out any names.

  • OK.

  • Billy.

  • OK.

  • OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's a cute name, right?

  • Billy?

  • That is a cute name.

  • I like that.

  • William?

  • No, Billy.

  • Just Billy.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Yeah, just Billy.

  • OK.

  • OK.

  • So you don't want to get pregnant?

  • No.

  • OK.

  • [SIGHS]

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I mean, I obviously--

  • you know what to do to not get pregnant.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Got to talk to my husband.

  • Right.

  • Well, you should-- no, you talk to your husband.

  • I'm not going to talk to your husband.

  • But don't read Fifty Shades of Grey.

  • OK.

  • Don't do that.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Don't read.

  • But you can run constantly so you're running away,

  • and then he can't catch you.

  • OK.

  • So that's partly what Zeel is doing.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Although she's not going to do it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Here's what I can do.

  • I can give you--

  • you can go to CVS because they have things.

  • OK.

  • Right?

  • You know what I mean?

  • Condoms.

  • Thank you.

  • Things like that.

  • Or if the condoms don't work, and you actually have a baby.

  • You can wrap the baby, you can swaddle it

  • in a CVS gift receipt.

  • OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,374 Yeah.

  • They're long.

  • Good idea.

  • Yeah.

  • They're not sturdy, so don't try to hold it with that.

  • But that's what you can do.

  • Good idea.

  • Yeah, you're welcome.

  • Thank you.

  • You know what?

  • Our Mother's Day show is May, so maybe we'll

  • have you come back since you have babies.

  • Oh, my God.

  • And this will be-- you're not a first-time mother technically.

  • It feels like it though.

  • Yeah.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • Come back for our Mother's Day show.

  • All right.

  • Thanks, Ellen.

  • I hope that helps.

  • [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

  • 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,750 And now--

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,570 Happy new year.

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